Archive of Our Own

Before I die

I'd like to do something nice

Take my hand and I'll take you for a ride

You hit me yesterday

Because I made you cry

So before we die, I'd like to do something nice

I want to buy you something (But I don't have any money)

(No, I don't have any money)

I want to buy you something (But I don't have any money)

(No, I don't have any money)

-Money by The Drums

...

Yellow eyes, so bright and so, so full of life.

Ao'nung smiled briefly at his bewilderment at not returning his greeting, and the stranger's eyes widened even more.

He inhaled strongly and his body knew it (even if his mind refused to recognize it, he knew it), he could feel it deep in his abdomen, a seed was planted and its roots spread through his body at great speed.

All interactions he had ever had with girls his age were eliminated from his mind just by seeing him, the caresses and kisses that were given to him had turned into sand under his feet, and he became his sea. Ao'nung couldn't help but bathe in his presence despite his prejudices -even though he had been taught to hate and despise everything related to the demons from the sky- and he didn't want to believe it, that boy was a product of the union between a Uniltìranyu and a Na'vi, a half-breed, but he had Eywa's blessing not to inherit any traits from his father, Toruk Makto, but the other two siblings were not saved from their own fate. Eyebrows and an extra finger on each hand, unnatural, it was not right, barely tolerable because the progenitor was Toruk Makto, and he had been chosen by the Great Mother, Ao'nung respected that, although it did not mean that he respected his offspring.

On top of that, the demon brother had the nerve to greet his sister, and his naive sister smiled back, sometimes he wondered whether or not it was a blessing that his sister was unable to judge at first glance. At least he wasn't so horrible to look at. The demon could not be horrible being the warrior's brother.

While his mother inspected the other two, he did his own inspection.

"These children… are not even true Na'vi."

He recorded the pattern of the different shades of his blue skin -a color so vivid that it reminded him of the blue stones that he jealously kept in his marui whenever he found them-, his hands were long and thin, he could easily imagine his own hand wrapping them; his body was the same, thin, smooth and firm... small waist, and as Rotxo had pointed out, a baby's tail.

"They have demon blood!"

He blinked, returning his gaze to the yellow. Face contorted in annoyance, barely contained, angry at the insult to his siblings. He held back his laughter, his mother would skin him in private if he interrupted them by making a fool of himself, Rotxo hit him openly to get him to control himself. (Both pretended not to look at one of the strangers.)

"My son, Ao'nung, and our daughter, Tsireya, will show your children what to do."

He turned to his father. "Father, why do..."

"It is decided." His father cut him off. He hissed softly and before his father could say anything to him, his sister turned to the strangers to guide them to their marui.

The brothers passed by. He caught the movement of his tail, and couldn't help but smile.

This was new for him, totally different from what he felt. However, the sensation in his body couldn't be anything other than curiosity, it could even be attraction, but nothing more. Even if that attraction was more powerful than any feeling he could experience before.

At least it wasn't love.

...

Neteyam -he let the feeling of his name melt on his lips- may have been a good warrior in the forest, but he was having a hard time adapting, not because he wasn't capable, but because despite his smile and words that he was happy to live now here, it was obvious that his heart was still in the forest, that prevented him from advancing in his learning. And if Ao'nung was trying his best to make him learn even slower while helping him ride an ilu, it wasn't really his fault or was it? Maybe it was his fault a little, just a little bit.

The Omatikaya hit his hand when he tried to hold him by the waist to help him up, his fingers had been so close to feeling his warmth, he clenched his hands and extended them three times, he ignored Neteyam's confused look and the way his eyes narrowed in suspicion at his action.

It didn't take long for Neteyam to stop paying attention to him and watch with concentration as his demon brother is being taught by Tsireya. Something even funnier, Ao'nung motioned to his friends to watch the skxawng make a fool of himself.

Ao'nung loved to make people bleed, especially if it was a demon… this demon. Out of the corner of his eye he could see how Neteyam seemed confused when he saw that he walked away without saying anything, but he didn't give much importance because then he got off the Ilu and went towards the little kid.

"Feel his breath. Feel his strength. Hold here. Hold on..." He hears his sister indicate.

His friends make a mocking gesture when they see his terrible position, and Ao'nung can't help but laugh even though Tsireya turns around and glares at him (no, he wasn't scared of his sister, period.)

And Lo'ak dives in.

Immediately the rest crouch down to see him in the water and observe how a few seconds later he is left behind by the ilu. He stands up and turns to confirm that Tsireya was laughing too. Only Neteyam's face was serious.

"Try again." Neteyam shouts.

It's funny, Ao'nung reflects in the dead of night. Seeing how they struggle to breathe and swim, they were certainly like babies. And above all, seeing how easy it was to provoke the demon, and bother him, caused a reaction in both brothers, in different ways. He wondered how far he could push them.

...

He was the one being pushed to the limits of his patience. And the worst of all is that it wasn't the demons' fault, but rather his dummy sister's fault with her comments about them, about him. He enjoyed his sister's conversations, appreciated the way she was calmer and always knew how to advise, but he never imagined that his sister's little and unexplainable crush for the forest boy would end up in her seeking to talk about him all the time.

He's fed up with it, and is about to start praying to Eywa to shut his sister up or better yet, to stop her from liking that phenomenon. Why can't she notice someone else? There are good matches among their people, even his friends were there: Koro, Nashvi, or Ongu. He clenched his hands, although the thought of any of his friends being with his sister made him want to run out of the marui to go hit them as a warning in case they dared to breathe too close to her.

Maybe not his friends, but why the demon? Why not the older brother? Why not Neteyam? Who was taller, more muscular -although still thin by Metkayina standards-, reliable and focused than his younger brother, Neteyam… whose lips looked soft, his eyes were warm, he had a nice smile and his waist was thin, plus his thighs looked... he blinked, what was he thinking? Ah yes, Neteyam was a good catch, much better than the brother, plus Ao'nung wouldn't mind seeing them holding hands, kissing, uh, he definitely wouldn't mind seeing them together.

He pinched himself to get those ideas out but he couldn't.

"What do you think of Neteyam?" He ignored the way saying just his name made his body shake.

Tsireya tilted her head before leaving the basket in front of the entrance to their home. He noticed how the basket was quite full. She didn't usually bring it like that. Could it be that Rotxo helped her?

"He's not adapting well like we hope, but Rotxo is trying to...."

"No, yes, but I mean, as a Na'vi." He interrupted her.

"Oh! Well, he's strong, reliable and braids very well." Ao'nung blinked, Tsireya played with his hands and smiled a bit ashamed. "But he is a little bit strained, stiff, don't you think?"

No, he didn't think that.

Neteyam was everything except stiff.

Before his sister could even think about why he was curious, he helped her move the basket full of fish into their marui. Their mother gestures for them to hurry up, this time she's making dinner, he carries the basket to their mother while his sister takes the opportunity to fill a bowl with water to wash the fish.

"It's a lot. We only hunt what we can eat." His mother scolded, grabbed two of the big fish.

"Forgive me, mama. I was with Lo'ak and..." His mother snorted at the mention of the demon, but still said nothing so his sister continued, not caring if they heard her.

At least he wasn't the only one who was fed up with the mention of the four fingers. Their mother's opinions are quite clear regarding their unexpected closeness to the freaks, beyond the duty of teaching them, and although she had not explicitly told them not to get close, it was obvious that she refrained from doing so for their father's sake.

It's not that his father forbade things to his mother, but they had rules, and one of them was that home is a safe place, and that it should always be safe, away from harmful things, the prejudices and evils of the outside world, so the word demon was almost never used and never if they were all together. Ao'nung appreciated that side of his father, always looking out for the best for them even in the little things, but he felt that he was being too lenient with Tsireya regarding Toruk Makto's children.

Like now, he barely entered the marui and was already encouraging Tsireya, asking about Lo'ak and Kiri's progress. Ao'nung rolled his eyes, his father knew their names but still confused the names of his friends. He sat next to them only because his mother shooed him away from her because he was becoming a hindrance in the preparation of the food. He bit his tongue, now his father was even giving advice for the forest boy to improve, because apparently the weird girl understood and connected with the environment quickly and without even teaching her according to Tsireya, whatever that means.

They were both talking about the musculature of the Omatikaya, something about how they were thin compared to them, and their father laughing that it's because they are young but also pointing out that it seemed like Lo'ak didn't eat compared to his older brother. Ao'nung agreed with his father, Neteyam was thin, yes, but he was more developed in muscles, the other looked like a stick, on the other hand Toruk Makto was far from being thin.

"I don't know how to explain to him very well how to swim against strong currents" Tsireya says, his father looks askance at him while he avoids his gaze, watching how his mother cut the fish. So interesting, definitely.

A fish's head rolls and his father sighs before answering his sister. Swimming against the current is Ao'nung's specialty, he's proud of how fast he can swim compared to the other kids of his generation, and if he hadn't asked Rotxo to replace him, he should be the one who is teaching the freaks. His parents hadn't exactly been happy when they found out that Rotxo was supplanting him in his task but it's not like Rotxo was complaining, his friend was thrilled to spend time with the weird girl, so what was the problem? He was supporting young love! (A bit hypocritical of him.)

Their parents would say something like "It's not about what pleases you or not, it's about you taking responsibility." He smiled slightly, maybe he should show up for some lessons, just some.

"I've seen the oldest struggling with his lessons." Tonowari commented. Tsireya talked about both the freaks and the little girl, so Neteyam's absence from their conversations was noticeable.

"Yes, Sempu, but we're not sure why." His sister speaks, some sadness in her voice, Ao'nung clenches his hands to keep himself calm. "He listens in the lessons, and he understands what Rotxo explains to him but he still is not able to achieve it."

Because he's homesick. Duh.

The words had come out of his mouth without thinking, his father gestured with his hand for him to continue speaking.

He gulped. "I think he keeps missing his home so much that he unconsciously keeps applying what he knows from there… here, instead of letting go of that knowledge." To his horror and surprise, he was justifying the boy. "His mind may be here, but his heart is not."

"I see, you must try harder to help him. It is difficult to leave the life you know and even more so for Neteyam who is a warrior of the Omatikaya but here he is nothing... It will be a slow process but I trust that my children will make him get over it." Tonowari speaks, his gestures firm and clear, he was not making a suggestion. They both attended at the words of his father, it was clear that Ao'nung could not continue hiding behind his friend. His father smiles and says, "I was thinking, later, about taking you fishing."

Ao'nung smiles at the thought, it's been quite a while since they hung out together as a family.

"I think it will help the Suli a lot to feel more integrated."

Nevermind, he stops smiling. Although it means that he would have an excuse to approach Neteyam.

"Oh, Sempu, that's a wonderful idea. Lo'ak is so good at fishing, he showed it to me today." Tsireya comments, getting up to help their mother distribute the food. "I didn't think he'd make it when I gave him the speargun, but he hit them just below the head, he caught almost all of them in the basket."

Oh Eywa. He watches as Tsireya covers her mouth and their mother closes her eyes for a moment.

"I thought the fish you brought were caught by Ao'nung." His father looks at him and he knows that this time he cannot avoid being scolded for not having been helping his sister collect food and he will be punished. He deserves it. "Since when are you not...?"

"Oh, you are right, Lo'ak did a good job, the fish died instantly." His mother interrupted, the name came out louder than she wanted but still, his father turned to look at her. "Since the boy has helped us, we should give him half of the basket."

"He also brought it for his family, we better invite Rotxo to dinner tomorrow, what do you think, Sempu?" His father remained silent and looking at him, Ao'nung lowered his gaze.

"Ao'nung, you should accompany the two of them next time." His mother orders, to which he nods.

"You could learn a lot from him, Nungie." Tsireya laughs, extending the food to their father.

"At this rate, I think that's how it will be if you continue to neglect your responsibilities." His father remarks before smiling a little bit stiff at Tsireya. "Ao'nung, tomorrow you will bring a basket to them."

He nods and receives the food that his mother hands him. He can tell that his father is still irritated but Tsireya doesn't stop talking to him, he just had to keep quiet until they start eating and this will be forgotten.

"I think even Lo'ak might be better at hunting than you." His father laughs dryly at his sister's words.

Better than him, someone who isn't even a true Na'vi? He clenches his hands and extends them twice, he must calm down. It's a joke.

He knows it's an attempt to distract his father, he knows that his sister and mother are bringing attention to Lo'ak so that his father doesn't scold him, he should just laugh at the stupid joke, but he still can't help but expel hurtful words.

"What have you said?" He asks, venom sliding across his tongue. His sister continues to smile and shrugs. "I just said he might be better than you, Nungie."

Don't do it, please.

"That demon can never be better than me and you don't know how much it disgusts me to hear you talk about that freak. You should be ashamed that you're even attracted to his disgusting blood." He growls at her, getting up from his spot. "Don't you have some di-...?"

"Ao'nung!" Ronal exclaimed, cutting off his little hate speech. "It's enough."

His sister looks at him scared and he can see how her ears lower and her tail moves away from him. Oh Great Mother. What has he done? And before he could apologize for his outburst, his father rises from his seat, his large stature towering over him. His relaxed expression is gone, he was truly upset, as is his mother, who places a hand on his shoulder but it does nothing to calm her husband.

He looks at his sister again, but she doesn't dare look at him anymore, her hair hiding her eyes that were surely threatening to cry, but he could see how her fingers were hurting each other. and all because of his big mouth. Shit.

"Tsireya..."

A sob came from his sister, and his mother was on top of her immediately and he tried to do the same but his father stood in front of him, he wanted to kill himself right there. "Father, I didn't mean to. I don't know-..."

"Quiet." His father hisses, Ao'nung immediately lowers his head. "Go for a walk. Now."

Ao'nung, head bowed, left the marui, walking as fast as he could to get away, not only from the anger and disappointment of his parents but from Tsireya's crying that began to sound loud as soon as he was at the skxawngentrance.

Why did he say that?

And in front of their father, if it had just been the two of them, he could have apologized immediately - on his knees as he should have - he could have resolved all of this. But on top of that, how could he say that to his sister? He was the older one, he was supposed to be the more focused and mature of the two.

"Skxawng." He screamed to the sea.

He wanted to hit himself, what blame had his sister that he felt this way? It was only his fault that he felt threatened by a stupid joke. Oh Eywa, he had been a stupid asshole.

He kicks a seashell in anger. What could he do? He couldn't come back right now, at least not for an hour, but as the minutes passed he felt sicker that he hadn't been able to apologize instantly.

His sister's pained expression.

He ran a hand over his face before kicking another seashell. This time with more force. It fell behind a rock into the sea, not so far from him.

He heard a groan, he stopped from kicking the next one. Was there someone so close to him and he didn't hear them? Furthermore, the stranger had been listening to him... Eywa, have mercy on me, he prayed.

And against his little dignity, he decided to get closer.

Thin and blue back. Of course it had to be him, as if things weren't horrible enough.

He inhaled sharply when he turned to look at him. His yellow eyes glowed in the dark, he didn't know how he felt about that, but his stomach did a flip. He watched as discreetly as he could as the drops slid down his chest. Was he looking at him a lot? He returned his gaze to where it should be, above his jaw and never below it. Neteyam looked at him suspiciously. Right, the apology, he hit him, so Ao'nung squeezed his hands together and opened his mouth:

"Do not say anything." Neteyam grunt, looking strange. He watched as the other threw something on the rock. It was an ilu mount.

He had been practicing. He must have really been doing badly, huh.

"Can't you ride?" He asked. Silence was the answer. He chuckled a little. "Not good divers and not good riders. You truly are..." he moved his hands searching for the right word.

"A freak?"

He pursed his lips.

"I heard you insult my brothers. Any words from you are sand to my ears."

Ao'nung rolled his eyes, he wasn't exactly lying. His siblings were freaks, an extra finger and eyebrows did not belong to a true Na'vi.

"Stop picking on them, why do you do that? Or why don't you pick on me too?" Neteyam exclaimed. "We share the same blood."

Ao'nung wanted to know the answer too, maybe the reason was simply because he didn't look like a demon or maybe the seed planted inside him simply didn't respond to reason and just existed. So instead of answering he entered the sea, advancing towards the other, he felt something warm settle in his belly the more Neteyam looked at him.

"You are suffering enough with not being able to get back," he explained before whistling for an ilu, and continued. "And it's funny..." bothering them, sticking his fingers to see if they bleed the same blood as him or not.

"I can't understand you."

An ilu appeared, he caressed it and was grateful for it coming.

"Get on." Neteyan wrinkled his nose at the order, Ao'nung shook his head. "Come on, get on. I'm trying to help you, aren't you jealous that your little brother is better?"

Neteyam looked at him in disgust before spitting. "No, I'm not jealous of my brother, I just feel frustrated and left behind."

Ao'nung laughed. "Well, that's what he must feel all the time." Neteyam hissed at him and he raised his hands, he was just telling the truth and from the way Neteyam clicked his tongue before going up to the ilu, he knew he had won.

He squeezed his hands to stop himself from touching his back, in exchange he directed them to the ilu's neck to keep it calm.

"Hold on."

"I know the basics. Rotxo... teaches well." The last words come out very slowly.

Smiling, Ao'nung added. "Rotxo is a good teacher, you just refuse to learn."

"I am trying."

"Breath with me." He touched his own abdomen. "From here, breathe and let go of everything that binds you, let the sea give you knowledge and the sea take your worries and pains."

"I don't want to forget," he confessed. Ao'nung wasn't surprised by that, and he smiled at him empathetically. "The forest is... it doesn't matter anymore."

"It matters. You miss home, it's normal. Just open your heart to this new place. Like I said, let the sea take your sorrows."

Neteyam took a deep breath and submerged. Ao'nung called another ilu to follow him, the only time he taught him before he hadn't done badly, but they had been in simple, easy streams, not difficult at all. They circled around each other a couple of times before returning to the surface, then he explained how to position his body and in the process he showed him the surroundings, and explained his functions, how if any predator came in it was his duty to keep it away, perhaps he bragged about how he was the best of his generation just because. Neteyam was just listening, he didn't say much but he smiled when he said something stupid.

But time didn't stop and they had to return to their problems and worries.

"I think I'm getting it." Neteyam murmured, sitting on the sand. Ao'nung laughed before kicking a conch that came across him. "Thank you, Ao'nung."

Neteyam was dangerous, he declared in his mind. He had a dangerous control over his body just by saying his name, just by doing so he had managed to make a heat explode through his body. It did feel kinda nice.

"Why were you mad?"

He didn't expect Neteyam to ask him that, he debated whether to tell him the truth or not. He guessed that he had told too many lies for one day.

"I said bad things to Tsireya, father was there... I didn't mean it but nothing could change what I said. And I couldn't even apologize before he sent me outside." He kicked another seashell hard.

"Is this what you do when you're upset?"

"Yes." He answers without thinking. "But now I'm not upset..." Ao'nung bit his lip and added. "Just frustrated and left behind."

Neteyam grimaced before launching a seashell with his hand.

Ao'nung turned his back and this time hit the seashell with his tail towards Neteyam, he grabbed it and threw it with his hand, and they continued like this until there was no longer a fence.

"There's no more."

"Just wait, the sea will bring them back."

Neteyam shakes his hands and says. "It's time for me to come back, you should do the same."

Ao'nung sighs, he had already dragged out his walk too long to think more than he should. He shakes the sand from his arms, as he thinks about how he will act when he gets to his marui, maybe his father will wait to talk to him in the morning.

He turned to say goodbye and there he was with his eyes so full of life and warmth, the saddle in his hands. The white dots shining brighter than ever as if they were stars on his skin.

"Would you like to meet again?" His voice came out somewhat low and timid, and he wondered what the hell was happening to him.

"Sure" Neteyam accepts, smiling a little. "See you tomorrow, here."

He smiled back and watched him leave, it wasn't until he could no longer perceive his figure that he hit his face to snap out of his reverie. Something was wrong with him, and he didn't have time to think about it since the marui of his family had an unusual light turn on, it was time to receive his punishment.

At his feet, the sea had brought back a seashell. It was a sign.

In the privacy of his home, after being scolded by his father about how he should think before speaking, about how to act calmly and not on impulse.

"Rage and resentment never lead to respectable paths, Ao'nung." His father advises one last time before a tired expression passes over his face. "I want you to be better, I know you can be the better of yourself, my son." His hand rests on his face, caressing it, and then rests on his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

Lying on the mat with his family, his mother on the edge being hugged by his father, and Tsireya looking at him in the dark with those eyes that never hold a grudge, he wonders if he took the grudge from both of them and kept it inside himself. He grabs her hands and kisses them silently asking for forgiveness - he can't help but cry - hoping she understands... She does.

She always understands and goes to hug him, he kisses her forehead.

He falls asleep dreaming of a better version of himself holding a seashell.

…

They were perfect for each other… when it came to getting irritated and fighting.

Ao'nung with his jokes and hurtful words set off every Neteyam alert in defense. And Neteyam was determined to put him to the limit of his ego.

He didn't know what the hell Ao'nung was thinking when he asked to continue seeing each other, all his expectations and illusions were wrong, he wasn't the most patient Navi, he wasn't his sister or his friend, he couldn't help but raise his voice when the other pressed his buttons too much. He wanted to scream out of frustration, was this how Rotxo felt trying to teach him? It was obvious that Neteyam did not want to learn. Every time he tried to teach him how to handle something, the Omatikaya would ask if there was another way, didn't he hear him talking about letting go?

This was impossible. He was impossible.

The only reason Ao'nung kept showing up to their nightly meetings was because his body was incapable of sleeping when he knew they should see each other, and because sometimes Neteyam smiled when he mastered something, smiled at him.

He ran a hand over his face, and he believed that he would become a better version of himself. What a fool.

But he couldn't understand, they had made progress that night and stayed like that for several days, so why had they gone back to being two forced strangers?

He kicked a seashell.

Behind him he managed to hear the other sigh. He closed his eyes and tried to find the long-awaited calm that his sister and mother encouraged him to seek.

The waves of the sea, and its breaths. A single sound. Control yourself and calm down.

"I'm sorry," he says, and opens his eyes.

Neteyam was in front of him, looking confused as he dried his hair.

"We were doing well and now..." Ao'nung sighed, "I want to know what happened."

Neteyam parts his lips slightly but doesn't seem to find the right words. They stare at each other for a few seconds.

"It's not you," he confesses, his hands clenching. "Everything feels so empty... i just... wanna go home." His voice strained and broken.

Perhaps this is the most intimate Ao'nung will ever get with Neteyam. He places his hand on his shoulder, his warmth joining his. He inhales and exhales slowly, waiting for the other to imitate him, he does. Someday he would really explain to him the meaning of just breathing, for now he just tries to calm him down.

"Your hair is a mess" he speaks softly and with his hand on his shoulder, he applies a little force to make him sit on the sand. It takes a few moments, he can see the distrust in his yellow eyes. He only smiles a little and stands behind him, just to fix his braids.

Braid after braid he dedicates himself to listening to him.

And when there is nothing left to listen to, and there are no words to try to console, Ao'nung begins to talk about his childhood, about how his life has worked since he can remember.

And if Neteyam falls asleep on him, neither of them mentions it.

Ao'nung closes his eyes. They will be fine.

...

Neteyam's laughter feels like the sea breeze when one wakes up, fresh and familiar, as if you had grown up hearing him laugh. Ao'nung pushes him weakly and laughingly the other says, "Skxawng." He opens his mouth to say something else but laughter overcomes him again.

"I shouldn't have told you." Ao'nung pretends to lament while he gets the nets ready, Tsireya helps him by extending the speargun with a big smile. "You should see his face, Neteyam, so big and red because he didn't want to listen."

"Mother couldn't stop laughing every time she looked at me." Ao'nung smiles, stroking his sister's head. "Good days."

"Before I forget, do not go past the reef." His sister warns, he rolls his eyes. "Ao'nung, don't."

"It's fine, nothing will happen."

His sister looked at him seriously and then snorted, it was a fight she couldn't win.

Neteyam hands him one of the nets, his face twisted in confusion, before saying, "I thought it was forbidden beyond the reef."

"It is, only warriors go, and always in pairs or more, it's safer." Tsireya explains. "But he thinks nothing will happen to him because he's fast and is used to going from time to time."

"You worry too much, every time I go I don't see any predators."

He finishes getting ready, until that Tsireya had already gone to look for the demon, something about him showing her the beast he rides. From afar she would see, she assured him, he didn't believe her at all, especially after Neteyam said something horrible about those things. ("What do you mean they tried to kill you?!" Neteyam grimaces before answering. "That's how you know they are for you, how else are we supposed to know?" Ao'nung couldn't believe what he just heard, a tsurak would never do that, and one can always talk to a Tulkun.) So it was fine for his sister to go see a beast that actively tries to kill, but if he went to an area where there may or may not be predators, the madman It was him.

"I can help you, you know." Neteyam offers as he pets the ilu he had called, but Ao'nung shakes his head.

"I must do it alone, it's my punishment for being lazy." He gets on the ilu, and begins to swim strongly, he turns to see Neteyam's figure and shouts: "Don't gonna take too long, see you at night? Gonna teach you some tricks!"

Neteyam answers something, but he is so far away that he can no longer hear him.

...

"I think I like you" Neteyam says like it's nothing, as if Ao'nung's heart didn't beat so hard against his chest as if it wanted to break out of it and run towards him, as if his hands didn't burn with eagerness to hold him, as if the impact that he has managed to subdue with his mere presence was nothing. Neteyam is a fool ignorant of his influence and that was the worst thing, that he couldn't see what he was capable of doing to him. He looks at him smiling, and offers: "We could be friends."

Ao'nung bites his tongue, the opportunity at his fingertips, and yet he doesn't lunge desperately at it. A silence forms, not uncomfortable despite the lack of response, but still a silence that makes Neteyam play with his hands surreptitiously.

"Why?" He asks, saying I am an asshole without really saying it.

Neteyam nods, not looking surprised by the question, surely he had imagined the ways this conversation could have gone, it was something he did, always anticipating. Ao'nung holds his breath, he doesn't know if it's from excitement or fear of the answer.

"Cuz ur not so bad, you are kind."

Ao'nung snorts, a half-laugh escaping his lips.

"I'm not. My sister is kind." He contradicts.

"Yeah, but you too, when you are not trying to bully my siblings. And when you are not with your other friends."

Ao'nung grimaces, it's not the first time he's heard something about his friends. Rotxo didn't like them, his sister didn't like them, and his parents even less so. But they were his friends, they were his decision, far from the expectations of his parents.

But accepting Neteyam was also his decision. Still he couldn't know which decision had more weight.

"I will stop." He promised, extending his hand to him, intertwining them. He... no, they both accept whatever is this.

Neteyam's hands are rough but stable, comfortable and secure, and he smiles at him so warmly that Ao'nung only manages to squeeze his hand. When night falls, lying next to his family, that image accompanies him in his dreams for several days, even if he doesn't sleep, every time he closes his eyes he can still see it.

...

His days are consumed by the longing for night to fall to reunite with Neteyam, in that small intimacy that the two must call only theirs. Theirs because only in those moments sitting next to each other, whispering little secrets that they knew wouldn't come out of each other's mouths, things like the worries of not living up to their parents, or how Neteyam didn't know what to do with the fact that he cannot be Olo'eyktan, ever.

"You can try to kill me and mate Tsireya." Ao'nung offers, he needs to know if he has feelings for her or if he is interested in someone.

"This is your sister." Neteyam hisses, angry.

"I said you can, not that my sister will want you."

Neteyam gave him an exasperated look, to which Ao'nung laughs as he grabs one of his disheveled braids and proceeds to fix it.

"I think I know how you feel."

"How could you? You're still gonna be Olo'eyktan."

"Yeah, but to be one I had to be a warrior, and I have not completed the last part. I am afraid that I won't be able to achieve it."

"Taming a tsurak?"

"No, bonding with a Tulkun." Ao'nung smiled faintly. "I don't have a spiritual brother, I should have one by now, Tsireya... and Rotxo have had one for a while."

Neteyam is silent for a few seconds before asking. "Why is it so important to have a bond with a tulkun? I mean, we have ikran but in that way you have the tsurak..."

"It's a brother or sister, Neteyam. Won't you like to have someone who understands you so much that it's like you are the same? It's a connection so deep that must be cherished!" Ao'nung explains with a smile, calm and without malice, at his side the other observes him with surprise, very rarely did he express himself with so much emotion that he looked soft. "It also means that you understand the way of water and others can see it too… having a spiritual sibling is a blessing."

"I don't want another sister or brother, I'm fine with what I had."

Ao'nung laughs. "I never thought you may not see. But who knows, maybe you're gonna get a spiritual brother as well..."

Neteyam huffs, but his shoulders relax and he leans slightly into Ao'nung's hands.

"Maybe..." he whispers.

His nights couldn't be better until that day.

This is supposed to be funny, just annoying the weird girl a little, he wouldn't go any further than that until the other idiot gets involved.

Ao'nung tries his best to remain composed, and Neteyam arrives at the worst time. His eyes filled with annoyance and disappointment.

"I need you to respect my sister." He raises his hands in acceptance of defeat.

But of course, the little brother must complicate things.

"It’s called a punch, b!tch. Don’t ever touch my sister again."

They hiss and like the good mature beings they are, they do the best they can: they start fighting.

So what if he throws his friend into Neteyam's hands because he wants to avoid hitting him? So what if he specifically goes to the demon?

It's a demon after all.

...

"I'm sorry I hit you. So many times." Lo'ak had said.

Naturally Ao'nung lied about being friends, and of course he wants to have some kind of revenge, just to make the forest boy feel stupid. So he offers, "Come hunting with us… Outside the reef. It's where the men hunt."

Lo'ak shakes his head. "No way. I'm not allowed."

"I must be asking the wrong brother." He provokes, and his friends boo.

"Let's do it." The demon answers fiercely.

So easy to get what he wants. The forest boy was really a dumbass.

What is he doing?

He is angry and resentful and feels humiliated by the beating but he wasn't going to do it, was he? He knows better, he has been taught better, but nobody that he cares about is watching, so he closes his eyes, saying it's not a big deal. Just a silly joke, just another silly joke.

Ao'nung gives the signal to his friends.

They abandon Lo'ak on the reef.

...

Neteyam runs towards him, Ao'nung tries to stay calm. It hasn't been long since they returned from the reef, he still mustn't know that he left Lo'ak stranded and wasn't planning on telling him. He looks at his body, he wasn't upset, so what was it? Why did he look a little tense?

He looks down, and looks at the bracelet he was making. It was something simple for Rotxo, something for him to place on his ankle, and he played with it a little before looking up. Neteyam was already next to him looking at him curiously, he closed his hand over the bracelet to hide it -he didn't like to show off his gifts before they were finished and delivered-.

"Ao'nung, I come to apologize." He says. There was no regret or arrogance in his voice, it was just completing one more task he had been given. "I'm sorry for hitting you, and the rest of your friends. It wasn't the best way to proceed."

"And why did you do it?"

Neteyam touches his braids and smiles. "Why not? You guys were idiots to my sister."

Ao'nung shakes his head and smirks. He didn't even know why each other's apology was so different, no, they were almost the same, after all it was a task to complete, did this attraction and the fact that his friends weren't present influence him?

He could never have left Neteyam in the sea, he doesn't know if it is because Neteyam wouldn't have followed him or if he had followed him, he wouldn't have had the courage to do so. Not after that night.

He raised his hands in acceptance, and Neteyam smiled more sincerely. Although his baby's tail was wagging more by the second, maybe he wanted me to show him the bracelet?

"Did you accept Lo'ak's apology?"

Uncertainty and worry. That was what Neteyam's body expressed. The real intention, he thought, and noticed how his ears were slightly drooping and his lips were pressed together.

He wanted to touch his face, it looked soft.

"I did. I told him to be friends." It was the truth, to a certain extent. Neteyam's face lights up so much that Ao'nung has to squeeze his hands several times to stay calm and not succumb to caressing him.

"That's good" Neteyam sighed before sitting next to Ao'nung on the rock. "I'm glad he can get along with you in the end. He's never been very good at making friends."

He may not like Lo'ak, but the other one didn't have a bad personality, plus he was Toruk Makto's son. Also he reminded him a little of Rotxo but much more energetic and impulsive, he blinked, Rotxo would also kick his ass when he found out what he did, if there was anything left after his parents and Tsireya skin him alive.

"Oh really?"

"People saw him more as a demon. And his impulsiveness only made people point him out even more."

Ao'nung rolled his eyes but didn't say anything, even if he wasn't a demon, he looked like one, and it was obvious that if his aptitudes were irrational, they would only attract the wrong attention (how hypocritical, he was talking about irrational decisions and what about he had just done? He looked at Neteyam's profile while the other looked at the sea, both enjoying the moment, but suddenly Neteyam turned to look at him with concern and a hand was on his own arm, holding him, as if he were hurt.

"Where's Lo'ak?"

He felt the panic bubbling in his stomach.

"I don't know, he stayed riding his ilu... wait, stay, now he must be with Tsireya." He lied looking at the sea, incapable of looking at him. "Tsireya told me they had a lesson."

Neteyam calmed down and said, "Your sister... is a good girl. Your parents did well."

Yours did something wrong with your brother, they ruined him. He thought bitterly. He repeated the action from previous days, this time to avoid talking about Lo'ak, he grabbed one of his braids and felt its texture and thickness, they were somewhat thinner than he remembered. And a braid looked kind of weird.

"Did you braid your hair again?"

"Uh? Oh, Kiri braided it, she doesn't like braids that thick. And Tuk helped with some, they must look like a mess, right?"

"Just a little bit. Let me fix them."

Neteyam accepts smiling, at least there are not many braids that Tuk must have done, just about three but they were very noticeable. He was finishing the second braid when Neteyam spoke again:

"Ao'nung, do you have feelings for me?"

He released the braid as if it would burn him and looked at him. Determined eyes crashing into him. Although he had tried not to be obvious, the subtlety of him was like the walk of a fat baby.

"I don't know what I feel. But I feel you inside me... everywhere." He confessed slowly.

His tone was more suggestive than he intended.

But Neteyam nodded and laughed. "So it's good that you were able to make friends with Lo'ak."

"Do I need your brother's approval to be with you?" He teased a bit.

He shook his head and became serious. "No, but I could never be with someone who is not able to get along with my brother or who does not treat him well." He brushed his hair back, away from his hands, and looked back at him, joy and tranquility now reflected. "Lo'ak is the most precious thing I have."

The confusion must have been clear on his face that Neteyam huffed and muttered, "You can't see him either."

He holds his hand. "Then explain it to me so I can see him."

"He is one of the first memories I have. The first is my parents holding me, but the second is when I had completed three years... My parents like to say that Kiri is a gift to them, from Grace, she is their gift. And I was so jealous," Neteyam smiles and clasps his hands, "not because Kiri is their gift, but because... where was my gift? It's kind of silly, and my mom always makes fun of how seriously I meant it… Then my father carried me to where Lo'ak was sleeping, he was sick, and told me: this is your gift, it always has been, you just haven't seen it. And it felt like something formed inside me. Lo'ak was my gift, to play and care, to love and protect, to heal and stop. Lo'ak opened his eyes and called for me, he did not call for my parents even though he was in pain, he called for me… It's a silly memory but it's something that has marked me forever." Neteyam giggles.

He definitely couldn't see why the other was so precious but he accepted it, he wondered if Neteyam could accept his sin.

"It's not a silly memory. Thanks for sharing it." He answers. What has he done? If Lo'ak did not return now, he would lose any chance with Neteyam. "I understand how you feel. Tsireya means the world to me, I wouldn't know what I would do if I didn't have her by my side...she is also my gift in a way."

Neteyam's smile is so bright that it threatens to blind him, but it can't make him ignore his guilt.

He was screwed. Still all he could do was focus on how cheerful and soft Neteyam looked talking about his brother, the brother he left alone in a dangerous area and who doesn't have the knowledge to return or protect himself. He swallows his guilt harshly.

"I would give my life for him."

He caresses his braids to distract himself from the guilt, and he can't stand it and kisses him on the head, hoping that it will take the guilt away. He feels his body getting hot and that was wrong for many reasons, besides that if he wanted to become intimate with Neteyam, he had to follow the courtship steps correctly, he was not like the girls he kissed playfully. Besides the fact that he didn't know what he really felt, maybe it was just a passing feeling, it was easier to stop in the courtship steps if things changed than if they were suddenly intimate.

And Ao'nung wasn't going to be that kind of Na'vi who gets his suitors excited and then abandons them without a word. That was a line he didn't plan to cross.

They stayed there, pressed against each other, holding hands while they looked at the sea. Sharing stories from his childhood, he tells him about the time he thought he could fly and jumped off a high rock, but he slipped and ended up with a broken arm.

This feeling was more than just attraction, his mind tells him but he was still unable to give it the name it should have.

Neteyam continued caressing his own right arm while laughing.

...

He went out to look for Lo'ak.

It wasn't where he left it. And he wasn't on the reef.

Was he still alive?

He returns empty-handed and guilt consuming him.

...

Neteyam advances towards him, his braids moving and his tail raised, body rigid and heavy, his expression no longer the calm one it was before; he was tense, no, he was furious. He already knew what he had done, but he wasn't afraid, Ao'nung could only focus on his expression and the heat in his belly caused by being the target of his attention, even if it was negative.

Why does he look so handsome being angry?

Eywa, have mercy.

He raises his hands to pacify him but Neteyam pushes him away with one hand, his nails almost digging into his chest.

"What have you done?" He yells at him, fangs showing - they weren't as long as his family's, he noticed - his jaw muscles tense. "What have you done with my brother? Your little beast friends were making fun of him, something about how you tricked him and left him... where did you take my brother?" Every word expelled with hatred.

The words don't come out of his mouth, he can't find a way to explain what he has done and why he has done it. Well, Neteyam decides that he is taking too long to respond because he is slapped causing him to stagger. He looked at him surprised, although he had already witnessed his strength, it never ceased to amaze him and in a certain way excite him. Neteyam pushes him again, this time, with one finger and repeats, "Where is my brother?"

Eyes full of rage.

"I don't know." He confesses.

"What?! Where the fuck is my brother?!"

"I really don't know. I took him past the reef and I don't know where he is now."

Neteyam's ears lower - they flatten against his head - as soon as he processes what he just heard, the expression on his face hardens even more and he walks away shaking his head, as if he didn't believe his words, he had betrayed him. Ao'nung felt the weight of his sin on his shoulders at the thin press of his lips.

"I was upset and I wasn't thinking, I don't even know why I did it... but he should have come back by now."

"Don't you dare lie to me." Neteyam hissed, crouching.

Was he about to fall apart? He didn't want to see him cry, other than that he didn't deserve to suffer... people look ugly crying (Although Tsireya never looked ugly crying, maybe he looks good too).

"Neteyam, forgi..."

He couldn't finish his words because he fell backwards, his body hitting the sand hard. His head felt heavy and it hurt, it hurt a lot, he had a hard time focusing and everything moved very slowly. He brought his hand to his head, there was something wet... It was blood. He looked up, barely able to focus on Neteyam.

A stone, in Neteyam's hand.

Neteyam hit him with a stone. He blinked slowly. Neteyam had hit him with a stone... and now he looked at him with contempt, he seemed to want to hit him again but he dropped the stone.

Ao'nung tried to concentrate on listening to him, but his voice sounded muffled and far away, it took him a few seconds and with each word, Neteyam looked angrier.

"I trusted you, and you do this to me. You played with what I love most! How dare you?" He crouched over him and grabbed him by his hair, pulling at his braid, Ao'nung hissed in pain but stopped, bearing the weight of his fury. "I trusted you and my baby bro… he trusted you!"

His voice cracked and he looked out to sea for a moment. He looked at him again, the worry and sadness were evident, but what he saw most was his anger boiling in his eyes.

"You better start praying that my brother appears unharmed, or else I will kill you."

Neteyam let go of him and continued growling as he looked restlessly at the sea. He must have wanted to go look for him but he wouldn't. He wasn't impulsive that way. He grabbed another stone, Ao'nung flinched instinctively, that made Neteyam growl once more and threw the stone into the sea, then looked back at him.

"Get up. We'll go to my father."

He looked at the blood on his hand and then analyzed Neteyam's rabid eyes. The emptiness in his stomach and he wanted to laugh at the sadness he felt.

And now, in the worst of times, he had realized what he felt, what he had ruined.

He felt the weight of his guilt anchor to his heart and his mind whispered loudly, what he denied so much but could not be anything other than love. True love.

What an idiot.

...

(Lo'ak takes the blame, and insults him, can't help but laugh at that, and follows him. He fucked up, really bad, but maybe it's not too late.

Maybe he can see what Neteyam sees, if he really tries... he will try.)

...

Neteyam does not talk to him. He ignores his presence, barely looking at him, even when he sees Lo'ak talking to him, he avoids him like he was sick of something contagious. And Ao'nung may be trying to be more good friends with the brother to get him to talk to him, but he has really learned from his mistake, he's not pretending, no more hurtful lies.

Ao'nung preferred his contempt, that he insulted him openly but that he looked at him, that he addressed him, in return he only got his indifference, he felt his chest squeeze at every deviation of his gaze, as if Neteyam had placed a knife in his hands and had left him alone, with the decision in his hands, and now Ao'nung nailed it himself as punishment.

He feels like he's going to die, he can't take it anymore, so he begs for his forgiveness, for Eywa, what did he have to do to make him even look at him?

"Neteyam..."

Just a slight tail wag in response, he didn't turn to look at him.

"Forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, but Lo'ak has forgiven me."

"Lo'ak can forgive anyone he feels sorry for. He is naive, he is innocent... I am not like him."

And he thanked Eywa for that every time he met the youngest boy of the Sulis.

Now he knew why Neteyam was always looking out for Lo'ak. Ao'nung in these days of spending quality time with Lo'ak, he could see how easily one could fool him, even with small things, he was just joking between the two, he didn't do anything dangerous to him again. Burt maybe that's why Lo'ak was for Tsireya, without prejudice. They would take care of each other.

And that thought calmed him. To know that they would have each other, the way he wanted him and Neteyam to have each other.

"He didn't look so innocent around my sister." He replies, not angry, but looking for a reaction.

"He what?" He stopped his hands, his tail was raised and his ears moved slightly. Ao'nung wondered if he really thought his brother would be so impulsive.

In fact, they weren't doing anything, not even a kiss, they were walking hand in hand. Oh Great Mother, seeing them made him feel impure. Because the way he looked at Neteyam went beyond a kiss.

"They were just kissing, don't worry." He lied, just because he can.

Neteyam inhaled sharply and continued weaving the basket.

"I'm sorry, Neteyam. I broke your trust and I deserve this treatment from you, but I wasn't lying about what I feel for you, that's why I feel like I'm dying every time you leave me... I know that what I did to Lo'ak has no explanation, I don't know what I was thinking, I was jealous, I was upset, irritated and clouded by my prejudices towards demons. Unable to see that your siblings are true Na'vi."

Feeling bold, he sat down next to him, Neteyam looked away.

"I would let you hit me with that rock over and over again until you calm your anger because if it's yours it's fine." And because you looked incredibly sexy at that moment, he reached out and caressed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, I will wait for you, because I want everything from you. Your joy, your pain, your anger and your bitterness. Everything you can give me, I will gladly receive."

"Go away. You almost killed Lo'ak, and you come to me seeking forgiveness as if it were so easy to forgive you..." Neteyam hissed, raising a shoulder to create distance between them.

"Then hit me." Ao'nung begged. "I can take it."

"You are insane." He grunted, intending to get up. "You ask that as if I'm not capable of doing it."

"I want you to be my mate." He blurted out desperately, it was true that he wanted to start the courtship rites soon but he didn't want to say it like that, not at this moment, he didn't want to ask for it this way.

Neteyam turned to look at him surprised and stood still processing, his expression going between anger and confusion, he took advantage of that moment to hold his hand tightly. "I want to court you, not now, but soon. My mother will refuse at first but I will do everything so that we are accepted."

“You can't ask for this…” Before he could retort about his great persuasion, Neteyam continued. "You are not a warrior yet."

Ouch.

Ao'nung nodded, defeated. Was this the end?

"But I'll wait too." He smiles at that and caresses his hand. They're going to try, it's enough for him for now. Neteyam removes his hand abruptly and points at him. "Although that doesn't mean that I have completely forgiven you, you must make it up to me, to him. And if you do something like that again, I will show you no mercy. Lo'ak is..."

"Everything to you. And now that's making me jealous." He mumbled, looking at the sky as if he were complaining. In a way, it was cute to him, something strange but cute. "I have sinned against you, and what you love most. I will not do it again, I promise to take care of him even if you are not around me."

Neteyam finally smiled slightly and turned to continue weaving. Ao'nung moved even closer, skin touching.

He placed his hands on his face, Neteyam looked at him from the side (big, bright eyes, so full of life) and kissed him.

He wanted to live in this moment all his life, Neteyam's long lips on his, the heat that he could feel only with him -and it will always be him-, there were no words that could describe what he felt in that kiss.

He felt everything. Their breaths coming together, the heat of their bodies and the feel of their skin.

He placed his hands on the other's shoulders and tried to breathe calmly. Neteyam was too much, just one kiss had taken him to the limit of his control... it was embarrassing, as if he had never given a kiss or gone further.

"Are you hard?" A mocking tone, fingertips lightly running over his abdomen, down… down below.

Ao'nung shakes his head, he loves him (Oh Eywa, he loves him!), he will tell him soon but not today. "You have no idea what you're doing to me."

"I was literally threatening you."

"Sooo hot." He says in English, the words feel foreign on his tongue and don't come easily, but he wanted him to see what he's learned from Lo'ak these days from just hanging out with him.

Neteyam's eyes shine a little brighter before he kisses him back.

...

Their habits of meeting at night resume, but this time they no longer seek to escape from the worries of not being able to adapt and not accepting change, now they meet to learn more about each other, to whisper small secrets that remain kept between kisses and caresses.

"Do you like to look at the stars?" Neteyam asks in a whisper, both of them were lying on the sand, almost hugging, almost separated, almost united.

Ao'nung thought about it for a few moments, the stars were pretty but it's not something he would do for long, he preferred to see the stars marked on Neteyam's skin, they were brighter than the ones above them.

"Not much," he replied, turning to look at him. Neteyam continued looking at the stars. "Do you?"

"No. But I force myself to see them."

"Why?"

Neteyam is silent for a moment, he can see him debating what response to say, and then he says slowly and in a low voice. "I want to know what he sees in them."

"Does he look at them a lot?" He whispers to make him feel comfortable. They were just stars, of course they were pretty, but what could be so interesting about always seeing them?

"He can look at them for hours, and I don't know why" Neteyam turned his body to see him, smiles and they joined their hands. "As children we had to go get them down from the trees, he lost all concept of time watching them."

"I'm sure he'll tell you why soon."

"I hope so. If not, you'll have to help me interrogate him."

They looked at each other once more smiling before seeing the stars again, this time united.

…

"I'm telling you guys. He saved my life… He's my friend."

"My baby bro!" Neteyam walks towards his brother, placing his hands on his shoulders. "The Mighty Warrior… who faced the killer tulkun and lived to tell about it…"

"You guys aren't listening." Lo'ak says before standing up.

"Lo'ak, I'm listening" Tuk exclaims, but her brother ignores her and continues advancing.

They remain silent for a few moments before Kiri begins to complain to him for saying those things about the murderous Tulkun, to which Ao'nung only decides not to look directly at her while she's speaking and say that he wasn't lying. He's not the only one she complains about, because as soon as she got tired of him, she turned to Neteyam, who looked at her in surprise.

"You shouldn't have mocked him!"

"I was just..." Neteyam grimaces. "I didn't mean to upset him."

"Skxawng." Kiri tells her brother and turns back to him. "Bigger skxawng." Ao'nung couldn't help but chuckle. "Come here, Tuk. Tsireya, you promised us that you would teach us how to break seashells."

"I know, but i'm worried about Lo'ak..." Tsireya looks in the direction where he left. "Should I go look for him?"

"No, he needs time to calm down." Neteyam says, his face somewhat tense. "I'll go get him in a moment."

"See, Tsireya! Let's go!" Tuk speaks, shaking her head excitedly. "Let's do something for Lo'ak, to cheer him up!"

Tsireya looks in the direction once more before turning her attention to the little girl and extending her hand, which Tuk takes with a big smile. "Ah, well, what do you want to do?" She asks as they walk alongside Kiri.

Rotxo doesn't take long to get up when he notices that the girls are already a distance ahead, he says goodbye saying that he needs to go to his marui. Ao'nung understands and says goodbye with a squeeze on the shoulder. His friend smiles a little sadly at him and proceeds to leave.

He stretches his body and considers going in to swim for a while but hears Neteyam coughing. He turns around, his eyes are a little cloudy, and his tense face doesn't make him look any less handsome.

"Is that Tulkun truly a killer?"

Shocking, he knows, he didn't believe either when the Tulkuns came to break the news. Nobody could believe it. His mother said it was a bad omen.

"Tulkuns do not fight, do not kill, never. So Payakan must have done it, our spirit brothers and sisters wouldn't dare to lie about that."

Neteyam bit his lip just barely, and he was going to tell him that there must have been some explanation that Lo'ak doesn't want to say for getting rid of the Akula when Neteyam held his forearm, maybe he was hurting Ao'nung a little, but it didn't bother him.

"Do you think that Tulkun would hurt him?" He asks, his face full of concern making his eyes shine. Oh, yes, it was a sight to see. He would be more worried if Lo'ak decided to bond with the killer, Tsireya must already be thinking about that.

He probably won't, Ao'nung hopes.

"Well, I don't know but Lo'ak said that he is his friend so surely not... it's not like Payakan would eat him, oh Mother, do you imagine it?"

Neteyam hissed, releasing his arm, "That's not funny."

Ao'nung laughs, just a little. He puts his arm over his shoulders, firm under him, it feels nice as always.

"Don't worry, I don't think he would like the taste of your brother... too skinny, too bony."

He watched as the corners of his lips rose even though he tried to hide it, though then he hit his arm. "Stop it, you skxawng."

"Let's stop talking about him, we should go swimming."

"Is a date?" Neteyam jokes, he recognizes it by the tone of voice but doesn't distinguish the last word. It was the language of the demons from the sky. He tries to remember any words Lo'ak said.

"Cake?" He suggests. Now, what was cake? He was sure Lo'ak had said it while they were cutting fish.

Neteyam smiles sideways and moves closer.

"I said, is this you courting me?"

He feels his face burning, he squeezes his own hands so as not to get out of control and kisses him, but damm, it was still daytime.

"Don't be dummy, there's no gift...yet" he says before running towards the sea. Neteyam stays behind and when Ao'nung feels the sea at his feet he hears:

"WAIT! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

He smiles hard when he hears the other's hurried footsteps towards him.

...

Surprise: the Skxawng did it.

Lo'ak bonded with Payakan.

His parents are upset, and so is Neteyam. Although the latter is angry with Tsireya and not with Lo'ak, for him she was the cause of his brother being treated badly by his own parents -he still thinks that they ruined Lo'ak- . It was easy to see his anger from the way he looked at Tsireya while they were scolded. Even Neytiri is looking at his little sister with some caution. He tries to stay calm so as not to hug Tsireya and cause a scene, his naive sister was very rarely questioned by their parents about her decisions and it affected her a lot, worse if she was being judged by third parties.

"I'm sorry, sir. But you are wrong." Lo'ak tries to explain. Neytiri scolds him immediately, a warning. "Lo'ak. You speak to the Olo'eyktan."

"I know what I..."

"That's enough!" growls Toruk Makto.

"I know what I know."

"That's enough." He watches as Toruk Makto grabs Lo'ak by the arm and drags him away. That must hurt, and his father thinks the same from his expression.

If there was something that upset his father, it was not knowing the truth, even if said truth could contradict his ideals, but he couldn't get involved in raising someone else. His sister still hung her head, their father hissed at her before standing up.

As soon as his parents leave, Ao'nung goes over to caress Tsireya, turning his back on Neteyam, who moves from side to side, murmuring.

"You have brought problems to Lo'ak." He growled, his sister lowered her gaze, and Ao'nung tried to suppress a hiss. He pulled away from his sister, placing her behind him.

"Neteyam, don't talk to her like that."

"No, Ao'nung. My brother didn't deserve to be treated like this..."

"My sister neither does. Besides, your parents didn't even let..."

"I know very well what they are like!"

Ao'nung placed his hand on his chest, Neteyam looked away and Tsireya looked at them confused for a few moments before she covered her mouth, now she knows. "Let's talk outside."

He doesn't wait for him to respond and takes him away. He can feel Tsireya's curious gaze from behind, later they would have to deal with her questions. They move away from the village.

"Why did she do that? It's obvious that she knew there would be consequences."

"She did what she thought was right."

"Yes, having him bond with an exile! The perfect solution." He growled, throwing up his hands before making another exasperated sound.

"Tsireya wouldn't hurt Lo'ak. And Lo'ak would have bonded sooner or later. We know that." Ao'nung caressed his cheek. "It's nobody's fault."

"What's so special about being bonded to that?"

"You'll have to bond with a Tulkun to understand it." He smiled at him, excited. "Neteyam, they are brothers now. Lo'ak will never be alone with a spirit brother, it is such a deep soul connection."

Neteyam stares at him for a few moments and then rolls his eyes. He knew that he wanted more than anyone to be able to join a Tulkun.

"I am his brother."

Ao'nung sighed. "I know, you always will be, but it's an honor to bond with a Tulkun. Under other circumstances, we should be celebrating... You should be happy for him."

"But why did he have to choose an outcast?"

He laughed softly, they both knew why they had chosen each other. Neteyam sighs, a hand runs through his hair, he wraps his arms around him, making sure no one approaches. Ao'nung returns his gesture with a little too much force.

"I'm just worried about him, Nung."

He inhaled sharply, the heat that invaded him at the nickname had no explanation, he focused on how tense he was and how disturbed he looked. Too much weight.

He understood his affection and concern, but Lo'ak was his brother, not his son. But it's okay, he would help him carry the weight, together.

"He'll be fine, we'll be fine. Just wait and you'll see."

...

Ao'nung wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, he can't see around him, his mind keeps replaying the grotesque images of Lo'ak dying. Over and over again. He feels the blood flowing in his hands. What has he done? Why? He doesn't understand, he must look for Neteyam...he must go for help or something, Lo'ak is dying.

He feels panic, he can't see anything but blood, he must run, he must do something.

Something approaches him, grabs him, is preventing him from moving forward, so he hits it, he hears a moan.

"Ao'nung, wake up." He is shaken firmly.

Slowly his vision returns, he can see the worried faces of his parents and sister. He starts crying harder when he realizes that the one he hit was his mother.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby." Ronal caresses his cheeks. "It was just a bad dream. You're safe with us."

His father tries to calm him down as he settles Tsireya next to him, who is holding his hand.

"I'm so sorry." He mutters crying. "The baby..."

"We're okay." Ronal positions herself next to him, with her back to him, he immediately surrounds her, placing his forehead on her shoulder, asking for forgiveness. Tsireya hugs him and his father manages to hug them all from behind Tsireya.

"It was just a bad dream, son."

Ao'nung tries to calm his breathing so as not to worry them anymore, and in the warmth and comfort of his family, he is able to sleep. Although the grotesque images do not leave his mind, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

They're going to be fine, he tells himself, getting even closer to his mother.

...

They are not fine. The Tulkuns have been attacked by the demons from the sky, his mother's spiritual sister and her baby have been slaughtered, discarded as if they were just a useless piece of meat, he is upset, they are upset. He never thought the demons were so cruel as to do this... so they must defend their brothers and sisters, they must go to war, yes, it's the right thing to do. But Toruk Makto doesn't think the same, and Ao'nung can't help but think that he is a coward. In the end, he convinces them not to fight, that it will only bring the death of his brothers and sisters, that they only have to give the warning to go away.

Saving them is what matters, no matter the price.

Ao'nung heads towards Neteyam, but he raises a hand stopping him halfway, his lips making the Skxawng vocalization. He will go after Lo'ak, Ao'nung notices that he is annoyed, but there is no time to calm him down so he advances towards Tsireya and Rotxo, he feels calmer knowing that Neteyam is after Lo'ak - the dream was still present in his mind, he has a bad feeling -, the three run to alert the Tulkuns.

An ilu responds to his call, he looks at Neteyam's back once more before diving down. When he finishes all this, Ao'nung will give him what he has prepared for him.

It would look good on him.

...

Everything they wanted to avoid, could not be avoided in the end. He didn't blame Lo'ak, after all Payakan was his spiritual brother. Not telling him would be allowing him to die. Ao'nung would have done the same. But if only they had been quicker in managing to take that demonic device away from him, if only their parents had understood, they wouldn't be running away now and ending up separated on the road. He doesn't even know where his sister and the rest are or if they're okay, he prays that's the case.

They must return to the village, go for adults, go for their parents. He notifies Kiri and Rotxo by signing, the two nod and leave the air reserve.

Of course, the demons will not give up. And he doesn't want to think about what Kiri just did, he had heard murmurs from his mother about the connection with Eywa that she had, but he didn't expect this.

He and Rotxo look at each other confused. Ao'nung shakes his head, questions for later, they must return to save the rest.

As soon as they manage to surface, a demon takes Kiri away without them being able to do anything, without him being able to do anything.

He was useless but he can't be an idiot in these moments. They can't go after her, he tells Rotxo, they must look for help.

...

The Suli appear next to Tsireya, he breathes easier, his sister is alive. Now he had to make sure the rest were okay, after everything the demons from the sky did it was a miracle that the whole family had returned, although he felt guilty for feeling happy when good warriors had died. He still runs towards them with Rotxo but they both stop halfway, there is a demon next to them, he looks young, he doesn't look like an adult and he dresses like Na'vi, plus Kiri is holding his hand so it must be safe, they don't trust the demon but they have to check on the Suli. Neytiri was carrying Tuk and was hugging her tightly, both looked fine… well, as fine as they all can be after a long fight. Toruk Makto is carrying one of his children. His eyes wander to Tsireya who is crying profusely and trembling. Oh Eywa. He swallows.

Is it Lo'ak? He's hurt, isn't he? Or is he...?

He refuses to finish that sentence and moves on quickly. It's okay, Lo'ak will surely recover, that Skxawng could only be resting, still he had to go comfort Neteyam and his sister.

He feels the sting in his chest and looks back at his sister. She keeps crying but she is being hugged by someone.

By Lo'ak.

The sting hurts more. And just a trembling no comes out of his lips.

"Neteyam..." he hears Rotxo say, horrified.

No, no, no.

It just can't be.

Neteyam, his heart screams but his legs do not respond. He can't move forward, his legs have become useless (just like him).

He tries to calm down, everything is going to be okay. He must just be hurt. Neteyam is hurt, it can't be anything else, his mother will heal him or Suli's demon friends will heal him. He must be unconscious or with a broken arm, that's all it had to be, he can't be... he clenches his hands. Nails digging into the palm of his hand, making it bleed but it doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts more than watching Neteyam being carried by his father.

His mother runs to help him -she will definitely save him, the Great Mother would definitely save his love- but Toruk Makto shakes his head, his gaze completely dejected, without faith. And then Ao'nung sees it.

A hole in Neteyam's chest.

Neteyam was shot.

Tears start to fall and he wonders why, it couldn't be true, there were so many things he wanted to do with him, there were so many things Neteyam wanted to do. What will happen to the plans they made? What will happen to the courtship gifts he has already prepared? What will happen to the heart of him who loves him? What will happen to him?

His legs finally react and he can move, he runs to him although he doesn't want to get close to check it out, he doesn't want to see the truth, but his heart demands it.

His mind barely hears Rotxo's frightened voice, barely registers that his friend is being held by Kiri, he himself doesn't realize that he is trembling. Tsireya tries to get closer to him but Lo'ak's arms do not give way, they exchange glances first with her and then with him, yellow eyes dull and lost. Then Lo'ak looks away at Neteyam and closes his eyes, holding Tsireya a little tighter so that it must hurt, so that she can't leave him.

He looks down, expecting to see those yellow eyes, so bright and so full of life.

But Neteyam's -his love's- eyes no longer shone, his skin no longer provided any warmth and his lips no longer formed a smile. Ao'nung grabbed his hand, and begged him to move, to return his warmth, to squeeze his hand, but his pleas were in vain.

The truth was undeniable.

Neteyam was dead

...

He is abruptly awakened, his partner was over him with a worried face. Ao'nung breathes heavily, runs a hand over his face and realizes that it's full of tears.

"You were complaining in your sleep."

He carefully pushed his mate away and sat up to calm himself, the feeling of heaviness from that dream not leaving him. His love's smile greets him gently, his eyes so full of life give him peace of mind and the necklace of blue stones shining on his skin gives him security. Ao'nung couldn't help but feel proud every time he saw him with the necklace on, a sign of their union -that they would be together forever-. He looked at his face, it was still the same as it was years ago and at the same time everything had changed, the childish features had been left behind and now only the face of a very handsome warrior could be seen, as everyone expected and knew would happen.

He lets Neteyam carefully wipe away his tears, fingers rough with a lifetime's work, yet he has never felt a touch more careful and warm than his.

"What's wrong, Ma'Nung?"

"I dreamed something horrible..." He confessed, caressing his chest under the necklace, where that fateful hole should be. "I dreamed the day I lost you."

He looks at him confused, as if he didn't know what he was talking about, but he doesn't stop wiping away his tears. "How did you lose me?"

"You stopped Lo'ak from being killed. You protected him but in the end..."

Neteyam's face distorts, the mention of death alters him for a few seconds and panic takes over him. "Lo'ak too...?"

Ao'nung shakes his head, of course his mate would only think about his family's well-being rather than his own. Neteyam calms down and caresses his cheeks once more before taking his hands. "Oh, Ao'nung, it was just a horrible dream. No one and nothing could tear me away from you. I'm here, next to you. Always."

He buries his head into his chest to check that everything is okay: his heartbeat is stable and strong. He is alive, next to him, as he had said.

"Do you feel better?"

"Everything's better with you, Ma'Teyam." Neteyam shakes his head still smiling and goes over to kiss him. Thin, soft lips against his, skin smooth and firm under his hands.

They kiss calmly -they have all the time in the world, don't they?- until they lie and hug each other on the sand looking at the stars, still searching for the answer, and little by little he notices how Neteyam's eyes begin to slowly close. Ao'nung repeats to himself that they were safe, alive and together, just there.

He caresses Neteyam's sleepy face once more. Beautiful. He kissed his forehead before closing his eyes.

And Ao'nung detaches his consciousness from the Spirit Tree.

…