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Even someone like him, whose specialisation happens to be deduction, didn't catch on to what had been occuring lately to himself. Not until that very moment.
He had been sure it would be a little fatigue he had caught. After all, the season has changed along with the air becoming colder and colder. Additionally, their training became more rigorous, it was no surprise he would eventually catch fatigue. Even though HiMERU is not one to catch illnesses for he takes extra precautions, the idea of being the perfect idol, he supposes that a slight fever was an indicator that he is still a human. He was convinced it would pass eventually, brushing it off as if it was nothing. However, that small declaration he told himself in his head had been from a few days ago, which then turned into weeks, which eventually turned to a month or two by now.
HiMERU himself cannot answer what was happening, embarrassing as it sounds. It felt weird, it felt strange. He swears that he is fine, at least for the most part. Though the minute he steps into the training room, a wave of restlessness consumes him whole. His fellow unit members have even caught up with this debacle, worried over the blue haired fellow. Their concerns are genuine, which might've warmed HiMERU a tiny bit, telling him to rest if he needed to. He assures them it will be alright, the cold weather just got to him this time. The rest of Crazy:B weren’t fully convinced but obliging to him, they decided to let it go for the meantime.
In truth, it frustrated HiMERU. Not being able to get a clear answer, how could he call himself as someone who is into detective work when he cannot even get to the bottom of this case? A case that involved himself, nonetheless.
It had been one chilly afternoon, the rest of Crazy:B had finished their rehearsal. Niki was quick to get out, claiming how he was getting insanely hungry and craved for something. Despite flabbergasted at his unitmate's quick actions, Kohaku excused himself as well, mentioning he had to meet with Aira in a few. With the other half of the unit out, what was left were both Rinne and HiMERU alone in the room. HiMERU was still drinking water from his bottle as he finished packing his bag, somehow still feeling the fatigue. Though now, with just Rinne and him, he felt even more cautious. Strange. He didn't like the feeling, though Rinne is a dangerous bee. He knows who Rinne Amagi truly is, he surely shouldn't feel like s—
"Oi, Merumeru."
HiMERU looked up to meet with his leader's eyes, slowly putting the cap back onto the water bottle. Worry is laced in Rinne’s eyes, he notices.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
HiMERU also notes that Rinne Amagi had the brightest yet piercing pair of cerulean eyes. It captures him, leaving him dazed.
"I know ya said to leave it or whatev', but ya know ya can tell us if ya sick or dealin' with somethin'."
HiMERU takes in the rest of Rinne’s face, noticing the concern written all over it and a slight frown. Even so, HiMERU might be a little mesmerized.
"Merumeru?"
HiMERU opened his mouth slightly ajar to respond, but then closed it back when he realised the words he formed in his head had created a lump in his throat.
HiMERU liked detective work, his specialisation happens to be deduction. The cause of the ‘fatigue’ messed with his brain. Finally, it clicked with him. It had been stupid of him, really, as he now realised what was the reason for this idiotic ‘fatigue’.
It is quite ridiculous.
HiMERU had been staring at the white sink with running water mindlessly, said mind wandering off somewhere else. It wasn't common for him to appear quite disoriented, whatever the opposite of calm and collected may be. His mind wandered off through many things, which all eventually led to a specific redhead.
Aggressively, he splashes water onto his face a few more times as he could feel heat seeping back to his cheeks. HiMERU turned off the faucet once he felt like it was enough (even if it is in ES grounds, he would rather not spend way too much water) and gently dried his face with a towel.
It was embarrassing enough that HiMERU hurriedly rushed out of the practice room, not answering the redhead's queries. The blue haired idol managed to say that he 'needed to go' and grabbed his things, leaving the other in the dust. The thought of his actions made his face go completely red and want to hide the next time they have a rehearsal. It was stupid, feeling like a deer getting caught with headlights. HiMERU even bets that Rinne would tease him about it the next time they see each other.
Though the next rehearsal came, the teasing didn't.
He sighed with relief knowing that even though the older Amagi is a scum, good-for-nothing leader, he didn't press further on what occurred last time. Even through text, Rinne was quiet about it. It was these times where HiMERU was actually grateful about his leader.
Though, it didn’t really help him with his current problem on hand which is his budding feelings for the redhead.
Fuck.
Just the thought of it made HiMERU lose his balance, curse a billion colourful yet unoriginal words under his breath, and his face gradually turning into a tomato. "Has yer fatigue gone worse, HiMERU-han?" The sakura haired boy approached him and placed a hand on HiMERU's back, the other hand occupied with a bottle he hands to him. The blue haired idol notices that they had the music stop for a moment. "Ya should really get some rest…" Niki stood opposite of Kohaku, nodding to the younger's words. "No, HiMERU is fi—"
"You're dismissed, Merumeru." HiMERU quickly raised his head to look at his leader who declared him dismissed for the day.. "Ya obviously aren't in the right condition. Practising will only make it worse—and don’t make me repeat myself twice." Rinne exclaimed in such a stern voice that if HiMERU was in the right mind, he would've questioned such actions. He wasn't even sick, if anything, he was simply sick of seeing Rinne’s face (which is obviously a lie, considering how his heart has been beating way faster when seeing him.)
HiMERU, in three against one situation, simply complied to their wishes.
Maybe the gods above really hated him because he definitely did catch a cold, great.
What a funny turn of events, his eyes squinted to read the numbers on the thermometer before placing it back down on his bedside. HiMERU had already drunk his medicine a few moments ago but his impatience was getting stronger, wishing it would work its magic already. Somewhere along the way of staring blankly at the ceiling in a haze, his eyes had tired out and let him rest for a bit.
The phrase 'a bit' had turned eventually to 'hours of sleep'. HiMERU, slightly feeling better from his unexpected cold, sat upright on his bed in the dark dorm room and reached out for his phone. The screen lit up the rest of the place and on it was the time, '01:43'. He'd gotten more than 10 hours of sleep. Not the best, he thinks, though the time had already passed. HiMERU opens his HoldHands, getting greeted by notifications from the Crazy:B group chat with messages from the rest wishing him well. Touching.
HiMERU also noticed the text messages from his leader as well, private messages.
He reads the texts, both group chat and then private messages, they were simply a bunch of 'get well soon’ when summarized. HiMERU quickly sends apologies and responses to the group chat before replying to Rinne, sending a quick 'thank you' and 'apologies'. Much to his shock, Rinne had responded rather too quickly.
'Are you sure?'
Nagumo and Narukami must have been staying at their respective places as HiMERU quickly glances around their dorm room. 'Yes, HiMERU is feeling way better than he was previously.' He types. Rinne doesn't reply back quickly this time, even leaving him on sent which ticks him off a bit. He placed down his phone and stood up to get more water.
Knock knock.
HiMERU turns his head to the door, the source of the noise. 'Surely, it isn't…' Slowly, the blue haired idol makes his way to the door and twists its knob, peaking to see a familiar mop of red hair right behind. He opens the door further, "Amagi?", to which he sees the mentioned person don a sheepish grin. Rinne Amagi, with a plastic bag on one of his hands, rubs his neck with the other. "It’s nearly 2 am."
"Ya think I don't know the time, Merumeru? C'mon, let yer ol' Rinne-kun in~."
He hesitates on the spot, not knowing if he should invite such an unexpected guest. Rinne takes notice and releases an exasperated sigh. "The food's gon' go cold now." Food?
Taking a few steps back, HiMERU lets Rinne into his dorm room, who seemed strangely excited considering the god awful time. He closes the door as the red haired idol makes a few more steps into the room, placing the plastic bag carefully on top of a table. "Amagi, you made food?" HiMERU questions the other man in the room
"Yup." Rinne takes out the small plastic container from the bag. "It isn't much, though." Then a plastic spoon, so much for taking care of the environment. "I couldn't ask Niki, that guy's probably dreamin' of food right now." He opens the container, revealing soup in it. "Can't bother Kohaku either, that kid needs sleep to grow taller~." He teases with a grin.
"Oukawa would threaten you if he hears such words." Rinne simply sneers, laughing a little and simply waves the remark off. His leader then signs HiMERU to come closer, stirring the soup with the spoon. "Ya obviously haven't eaten yet. Come, come~."
This man doesn't know the horrible things that he has done to HiMERU’s heart.
HiMERU had contemplated about the past month and how he finally noticed that his so-called 'fatigue' was caused by one man in the vicinity only. Those little gestures Rinne makes like swinging his arm around HiMERU or the tiny conversations with HiMERU getting annoyed as Rinne lets out a hyena-like laugh. How even Rinne’s gesture of bringing him food after a terrible cold brings in the butterflies into his stomach. It's all too sweet, quite sickening, he wonders if he's even allowed to feel these feelings.
"Hey, I'm no chef like Niki, but I think I did my darn best with this. now—" Rinne raises the spoon up to the height of HiMERU’s mouth. "—open up."
Sure, even if his handsome face makes HiMERU lose his cool, his irritation is permanent. "HiMERU can feed himself, Amagi." "Nuh uh. You’re the patient, now open that sweet, sweet mouth of yours."
Blood slowly crept up its way to his face, is this man hearing himself right now? HiMERU was growing even more irritated and embarrassed over his leader’s actions. It was fortunate enough that there was no one else there but the two of them. Still persistent, HiMERU refused to cave into Rinne’s shenanigans. "Now, Merumeru, its no good to be stubborn~. C'mon!"
For what it felt like forever, HiMERU leans in and opens his mouth, taking in the soup from the spoon.
"Its good, right?"
The blue haired idol simply nods, a smug grin making its way to the redhead’s face. “Nothin’ like Niki's though~.”
HiMERU simply stared at his leader, who looked at the soup and scooped once more before holding it up for HiMERU to consume. If this bee is being honest, he didn't know what was going on with this guy. He understands what Rinne really is under that brash and boisterous, gamble taker persona of his—after all, it takes a liar to know one. However, this was still something out of Rinne's character, something that felt strange. Something that feels weird that turns his stomach into butterflies and his heart stammering. HiMERU’s mind has been sent to overdrive, overthinking the current situation on hand.
He opened his mouth, but not to take in the soup.
"Why are you doing this, Amagi?"
Rinne's smug look remained on his face, how HiMERU wishes to wipe it off from existence. The redhead raises an eyebrow to his question. "Why, Merumeru, can't I take care of ya?" Rinne pouts as he answers—or rather, hits him back with another question. HiMERU frowns, the ends of his eyebrows becoming nearer and nearer with each other. "HiMERU can take care of himself."
"HiMERU can take care of himself just fine~. I meant, you, idiot."
Honey glazed eyes meets striking cyan ones, locking each other in a trance. HiMERU stood there not knowing completely what to say.
“Let that perfect idol persona drop for a min’, hm? C’mere.” A soft smile plastered on the redhead’s face, swore his eyes twinkled. The food was getting less hot each second that pass, Rinne raises another spoonful of soup. “I was gonna just head out to the konbini nearby but don’t ya think it’s cuter if I make it myself? Kyahaha~!”
What were Rinne Amagi’s motives? HiMERU admits mentally, his brain wasn’t turning the right gears and his heart may be missing a few beats by now. Why was he doing such sentiment? Was there any possible way that Rinne would…
“Merumeru?”
HiMERU broke out of his small daze, his eyes registering the slight head tilt from Rinne who was waiting with the spoon held up. The blue haired idol slowly moved forward to take in the soup again. Rinne shows him a flashy, toothy grin that felt a little contagious even the muscles in himeru’s face urges him to smile the same.
…He held the previous thought. Even with great deduction skills, Rinne Amagi made many questionable moves and this night (or morning) was no different from the other times. He cannot fully comprehend what was running through the guy’s head. Though yes, it makes him a little more warm inside.
Maybe next time he’ll think about it again. For now, HiMERU chooses to relinquish the moment between the two of them.