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”Hey Diaz, you're coming to karaoke tomorrow night right?” Chim calls to him from across the loft. Eddie groans silently, this is far from the first time he has been asked to join the fire-fam on a night out in the past couple of months, selfishly he just wants ‘no,’ to get up and yell 'what's the point' but he knows his friends are only trying to help, wanting to cheer him up, to get him out of his eternal funk, but he really just wants to go home to his son and mope, (it has been 3 months since Buck left).
^^^^^^^
A few weeks after the lightening strike, Buck had (physically) healed and was back at the 118, putting on his 'i'm fine' act, but Eddie could see he was struggling, putting on a brave face, laughing and joking around the station with Chim and Hen, and helping Bobby out in the kitchen as usual, but Eddie knew him and he could see that something was bubbling under the surface, and if Eddie was a braver man, (he considers himself to be pretty brave, after-all he has been to war, is raising his son on his own, and is a damn good fire fighter), but when it comes to feeling of the romantic persuasion, he can admit he struggles, but after the lightening strike that took his best friend away for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, he told himself that he was going to finally speak up, he was going to make sure his friend knew exactly how important he is to him, and after too many years of keeping his true feeling for Buck to himself, he was going to let Buck know how much he meant to him, how un-expandable he is, he was going to ask Buck on a real date, where he would confess that he wanted to be much more than friends, that he was in love with Buck and wants to be with him forever.
Eddie had it all planned, ask Carla to watch Chris, invite Buck over for a romantic meal and confess. He really should have known that his life rarely ever went to plan.
^^^^^^^^
(3 months ago)
Eddie strolled into the station with a small spring in his step, today is going to be the beginning of something good, he bounds up the stairs to the loft to find Chim and Hen and surprisingly Maddie all sitting around the dinner table whispering together, Eddie looks around for the one person he really wants to see, but Buck is nowhere in sight.
Hen notices Eddie at the top of the stairs and the three way conversation conspicuously stops, "what’s going on here, what are you three whispering about? and where’s Buck?"
Maddie gets up and Eddie can tell by the look in her eye that she has something to tell him, something he really doesn't want to here, "Maddie, what’s wrong, where’s Buck, is he hurt, what’s happened?"
Maddie walks over and takes his hand, he lets her lead him to the nearest couch, where they both take a seat, "Maddie please, is he-"
"Oh god, no Eddie, sorry, he's fine, I promise."
Eddie lets out a breath he didn't realise he’d been holding, "ok, wow Maddie, you really had me worried for a minute, the whispering, the look on your face, so where is he?"
Maddie squeezes his hand, he didn't realise they were still holding hands.
"Evan is fine....but he's not going to be around for…a while."
Eddie swallows over a lump that has suddenly lodged it’s self in his throat, "what do you mean, not around, where is he?"
"Eddie, you, probably more than anyone will have noticed that Evan has been struggling since the lighting strike, we could all see he was trying to pretend everything was fine and just keep on being Buck."
"What are you telling me here Maddie." Eddie urges.
"Evan felt he needed to get away, he told me he had spoken with his therapist, Dr Copeland, about how he was struggling, that he didn't feel like himself anymore, but how he felt he had to put on an act to stop everyone worrying about him, about how he didn't know how to just pick up and move on after a near death experience, was he just supposed to carry on as if nothing had changed, so his therapist suggested taking time out, I'm not sure exactly what she suggested, but the next thing I know, he’s put in for all possible leave from the station, let his apartment, bought a flight and said he wasn't sure how long he would be gone for, but he needed to 'find himself' again."
Eddies heart was drumming so hard against his chest he was sure that everyone must be able to hear it, "W-why didn't he tell me, we only spoke a couple of days ago, I-I could have convinced him to stay, Maddie you should have made him stay, he needs us, he shouldn't be alone."
"I tried to tell him that Eddie," Maddie sighs, "do you really think I didn't beg him not to go, but you know that when my brother is determined to do something, there is no convincing him to change his mind."
Eddie nods, he knows that Buck can be a stubborn bastard sometimes, “I-I just need a minute,” getting up he jogs back down the stairs and out into the sunshine, needing some air.
Buck was gone, to who knows where for who knows how long, he was gone without saying goodbye to him or to Christopher, he quickly pulls his phone from his pocket and dials Buck, ‘hey, you’re through to Buck, please don’t leave a voicemail, drop me message, it’s 2022 for goodness sake.”
^^^^^^^^
(3 months without Buck)
“We’re not taking no for an answer this time Diaz, you’re coming to Karaoke,” Chim calls again bringing him out of his thoughts.
Knowing he’s not getting away with saying no again, he sighs dramatically, “fine, but I am not singing.”
Hen lets out a loud peel of laughter, “oh no Edmundo, you are definitely singing, we all sing, me, Karen, Bobby, and you know Athena loves to sing ‘Simply the Best’ and of course Chim and Maddie will pull out the old favourite-“
Eddie groans, “please not ‘a whole new world’.”
Chim gives an indignant squawk, “that, my friend, is a classic and Maddie and me nail it every time.”
Hen hums non-committedly, “so Eddie get thinking as we want to hear those dulcet tones of yours.”
That does make him chuckle, “fine.”
^^^^^^^^^^
(3 months ago before Buck left)
“I’m fine Eddie.” Buck huffs from Eddies couch, beer in hand.
Eddie flops down next to him, “don’t do that Buck, not to me, we don’t pretend with each other, you’re not fine, talk to me, I'm here for you, always.”
That does make Buck feel good, Eddie, his best friend is always there from him (he wishes it wasn't just as a best friend though), he can’t hide from Eddie, they know each other inside out, “I know Eds, I can’t explain, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”
Eddie gently places his hand on Bucks knee and give him the patent Eddie (just for Buck) smile, “Buck, I don’t think you have to, you’ve been through a traumatic experience, you just need time to-“
'Mmmph.'
Eddie was about to say heal, but is cut off by Bucks soft lips suddenly pressed against his, only before he can get with the programme and kiss back, Buck is on his feet and backing towards the door.
“E-Eddie I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“
Before Eddie has a chance to stop him, Buck is out the door, in his Jeep and peeling out his driveway.
Eddie immediately calls Bucks phone, which not so surprisingly goes straight to voicemail.
Buck had kissed him, something he had wanted for years, and now he was gone before Eddie got a chance to say or do anything.
^^^^^^^^
(3 months without Buck)
Eddie still doesn’t know exactly where Buck is, somewhere in Europe, Maddie swears he is fine and just taking time out, he has even sent a few postcards to Chris, but he never answers his phone, Eddie only ever gets that damn stupid voicemail message and one text response, 'I'm fine, don't worry.'
He hasn’t told anyone about the kiss, not that there is much to tell, Buck suddenly kissed him, ran out the door and then left the country before Eddie got a chance to tell him he loved him, he wonders if Maddie might know, but he hasn’t asked and she hasn’t mentioned it.
If only Buck would answer his damn phone, Eddie would beg him to come home, but instead he just waits hoping he comes back soon.
^^^^^^^^
(Saturday night, Karaoke bar)
Eddies sitting squashed into a booth in between Ravi and Josh who had decided to join the group.
Chim and Maddie were in the middle of a resounding rendition of ‘I’ve got you babe’ having already sung ‘a whole new world.’
The group were singing along, while clapping and cat calling, everyone was having a great time, and Eddie was trying, joining in with banter and laughing along, but it just didn’t feel right without Buck pressed up against him, shoulder to hip, nothing felt right when Buck was gone.
Eddie startles as a hand lands on his shoulder, looking up he sees Chim with a shit eating grin, “you’re up Diaz, show us what yah got.”
Downing the last of his beer he slides out of the booth and over to the stage, quickly letting the DJ know what song he’ll be singing.
As the music starts he takes a deep breath and starts to sing.
Leave your keys if you're not coming home
You packed your bags full of letting go
You were moving in, now you're moving on
There's no getting used to you being gone
You were down now you're giving up
Just a false start if you're quitting on us
Another year, just another lie
Wish you'd call so I could say goodbye
Chim looks around the table, the group are now sitting in stunned silence, “um is he….?”
Maddie nods, “yup,” while grabbing her phone and quickly starting to film.
“Did anyone know?” Chim asks, as Eddie carries on singing.
And let you know, I'll wait for you every night
If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting
“Come on Chim,” Athena adds, “it’s blindly obvious, that boy up there has been heart sick since our Buckaroo left.”
Never thought that you'd be giving up
Guess with all the climbing, you're tired, and you fell out of love
Maybe if you don't crash the landing
You'll end up right back where I'm standing
And then you'll know, I'll wait for you every night
If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
If you ever wanna fall in love
If you ever wanna bet on us
If you ever wanna be my one
I'll be waiting
If you ever want one more night
If you ever wanna make things right
If you ever wanna change your mind
I'll be waiting
I'll be waiting
Just as Eddies song comes to and end, Maddie sends the video to Buck.
Eddie arrives back and slides into the booth, and is taken aback when the group suddenly surrounds him in a group hug, which Eddie melts into, no longer able to keep the walls up, after all he basically just laid his heart bare for all to see, it’s not possible that his friends haven’t worked out that he was singing directly to Buck.
After the group hug, Bobby gets up to get another round of drinks, thankfully no-one asks any questions, they just pat him on the back or shoulder, a small show that they are there for him, he does look at Maddie and receives a small sympathetic smile and he again wonders if she knows about the kiss.
After another hour Eddie decides to call it a night, he orders a uber, says goodnight to the group and heads home.
^^^^^^^^
(Buck)
As he sits outside a small cafe enjoying the sun, watching people strolling around, no rush, no hustle and bustle, he feels relaxed, sure he’s missing his friends and family and…..Eddie, god he missed his Eddie, he had been such an idiot, he’d kissed his best friend and then ran, not just from Eddies house but from the USA, he had flown to Paris, then to Spain, he was currently in Majorca, he had told Maddie that he needed to ‘find himself’ he thought getting away would help, but if he was honest with himself all he felt was alone, but how could he face Eddie, the look on his face after Buck had kissed him told Buck that Eddie didn’t want to be anything other than friends, maybe not even that now.
Buck decides to head back to his hotel, he has a flight booked to Portugal tomorrow afternoon, so needs to pack.
Once back in his room, he flops down onto the bed, deciding to take a nap before packing then eating diner.
He nods off only to be woken an hour later by his phone buzzing, notifying him that he has a message, grabbing the phone he sees a message from Maddie, he opens to find a video, ‘you need to see this Evan.’
Confused Buck clicks on the video and the screen fills with Eddie, looking amazing, then Buck realises that he is singing, Eddie never sings.
Buck listens to the whole song, then listens again and again, after the fourth time he realises he is crying, and his heart is pounding, Eddie is singing to him.
Buck wants to punch himself in the face, he is such an idiot, Eddie wants him, Eddie misses him, Eddie is waiting for him.
He quickly and haphazardly shoves his clothes into his case, he grabs his phone, he really needs to get back to Eddie, realistically he knows he won’t get a flight that day and he is supposed to be flying to Portugal tomorrow, he checks for flights and sees a flight from Palma to Madrid to LAX leaving the next day at 9.15, it’s pricey and he’ll lose the money on the Portugal flight but he doesn’t care, Eddies worth it.
Once the flight is booked, he lies back on his bed, presses play on his phone and watches Eddie sing just for him.
^^^^^^^
Eddie wakes up to the sun shining in his window, he must have forgotten to close the curtains the night before, ugh, thinking about last night, was it a mistake to sing that song, sure his friends were kind and supportive, but now it was out there, his feelings for Buck are now known by all.
Getting out of bed he wanders to his kitchen and switches on the coffee machine (bought by Buck) and slumps into a chair, Chris is at Abuelas for the weekend so he has nothing to do and nowhere to be…god he misses Buck, he gets his coffee from the machine strolls to the living room and onto the couch switching on the TV, he covers himself with a throw, today is going to be a sofa day.
^^^^^^^
Bucks flight finally lands, 13 hours after leaving Spain, he gets off the flight as quickly as he can, gets through security, grabs his bags and leaves the airport, he jumps into a taxi and is on his way to Eddies, he’s almost home.
Eddie opens his eyes, awoken by what sounds like a car door closing, he checks his phone to see it’s almost 5 o’clock, he must have nodded off and been asleep for most of the day.
He startles at the sound of the front door bell ringing, getting up with a grunt (he’s getting too old to sleep sitting upright on his couch) he heads to the door, he’s not expecting anyone, he hopes it’s not the ‘cheer up Eddie’ brigade.
^^^^^^^^
Buck pays the driver, jumps out of the taxi and practically runs up to Eddies door, he’s tired, but buzzing with excitement and nerves, as he goes to press the bell he hesitates, what if Eddie isn’t happy to see him, sure he sang a song for him, but that doesn’t mean he will forgive him for leaving the country and not talking to him for over three months….no, he has just flown over 13 hours he can’t back down now, he rings the bell.
Eddie opens the door and almost sobs, “B-Buck?”
“Hi Eds.”
“Buck?” Eddie repeats, “is this real or am I still asleep?”
Buck steps forward, “it’s real Eds, I came home.”
Eddie lunges forward, wrapping his arms around Buck.
“You’re really here, Buck, how?” Eddie muffles into Buck neck.”
Buck hugs back, just holding Eddie, being back in his home, feels right, why did he think leaving was the right thing to do, when everything he needs is right here.
Eddie pulls back, but doesn’t let go, he’s scared if he does, Buck might disappear again, he leads him through to the lounge and onto the couch only returning to the door to retrieve Bucks luggage.
Returning to the couch he sits next to Buck, he can’t stop staring, he looks good, sun kissed, hair slightly longer and bleached slightly by the sun, his curls more prominent, Eddie really wants to touch.
“Eddie I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry Buck, I understand you needed to get away, I just don’t understand why you left without telling me or talking to me, I mean you kissed me and ran out without giving me a chance to say anything.”
Buck takes Eddies hand, “I-I panicked Eds, I just kissed you and when I looked at you, you looked, I don’t know, just-“
“I was surprised Buck, you took me completely by surprise, if you had given me a chance to talk, I would have been able to say it was everything I ever wanted.”
Buck nods solemnly.
Eddie places his fingers under Buck chin, bringing his head up so they are looking eye to eye.
“Are you going to tell me what made you come back?”
“You asked me to.”
Eddie looks puzzled, “I-I haven’t spoken to you in months.”
Buck takes out his phone presses play on the video and hands it to Eddie.
“You asked me to come back.”
“H-how?”
“Maddie.”
Eddie huffs out a laugh, “of course she did.”
“Is it true Eddie?”
“Is what true?”
“Can I have another chance, are you still waiting for me?”
Eddie gives him his patent (definitely just for Buck) smile, “I love you Evan, of course I’m waiting for you, I meant what I said, or sang.”
Buck cups his cheek, “can I kiss you Eds?”
Eddie chuckles, “that depends, are you going to flee the country again?”
Buck huffs, “asshole.” but leans in and captures Eddies perfect lips with his, this time Eddie kisses back, it’s the best kiss of Bucks life.
When their lips part, Eddie opens his eyes, “you’re still here?” he breathes out.
“Yup still here and I don’t intend on going anywhere, I should never have left, I thought I needed to find myself, but all I really needed was right in front of me this whole time, I’m so sorry Eds.”
Eddie leans in and pecks a kiss to Bucks lips, (he can do that now), “no more apologies, do I wish you hadn’t left, of course I do, I mean if you had hung around, you would have found out I was going to ask you out on a date.”
Bucks eyes shine with tears, “I’m an idiot.”
“Not going to disagree with that.”
Buck chuckles and shoves Eddies shoulders lightly, “-but you’re back now, and I still want to take you out.”
“I want that Eddie, I really really want that, I just want to be with you, I’ve wanted you for so long, I just didn’t think you felt that way about me, but I was clearly very wrong, you stood up on stage and sang just for me, you really love me huh.”
Eddie shoves him back, “I’m beginning to have a rethink.”
Buck slides his hand to the back of Eddies neck, pulling him in closer, “oh no, you don’t, you love me and Eddie I really love you too, and to quote the words of your song, ‘I want to be your one’.”
They close the distance between them and kiss again, deep and passionate.
Buck pulls back abruptly, “Buck wha-“
“I don’t have anywhere to stay, I’ve let my apartment and my stuff is in storage.”
“You dork, of course you have somewhere to stay, here, do you think I’m letting you out of my sight again anytime soon.”
Buck looks at Eddie in awe, “you want me to stay….here.”
Eddie nods seriously, “yes, in fact I never want you to leave.”
Eddie leans in close to Bucks ear, making him shiver, “I have a large, extremely comfortable bed, perfect for two big guys to enjoy.”
Leaning back he waggles his eyebrows flirtatiously.
At that, Buck grabs Eddies hand and practically drags him to his own bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.
Later, Buck is lying on the bed wearing a goofy grin, glancing over a Eddie who is still asleep, his Eddie, having just had the best sex of his life, with the love of his life, he knows that this is his life from now on. He thought he had to leave to find what he was missing in his life, when everything he ever wanted is here, he’s home, exactly where he belongs.
^^^^^^^^
(2 months after Bucks return)
Buck was officially moved into Eddies (their) home, he was so happy, Eddie was over the moon, Chris was ecstatic, life was perfect.
They were currently squished together in a booth at their usual karaoke bar, the whole firefam together again.
Bobby and Athena return to the group after singing “it takes two,” when Hen calls, “your turn Buckaroo.”
Buck pecks a kiss to Eddies lips before sliding out of the booth and up to the stage.
As the music starts the whole group whoops.
And Buck starts to sing.
It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice
Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you
Well, I know this little chapel on the boulevard we can go
No one will know, oh, come on boy
Who cares if we're trashed, got a pocket full of cash we can blow
Shots of patron and it's on, boy
Don't say no, no, no, no, no
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And we'll go, go, go, go, go
If you're ready, like I'm ready
'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you, oh
I'll go get a ring, let the choir bells sing like, ooh
So what ya wanna do? Let's just run, boy
If we wake up and you wanna break up, that's cool
No, I won't blame you, it was fun, boy
Don't say no, no, no, no, no
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
And we'll go, go, go, go, go
If you're ready, like I'm ready
'Cause it's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you
Just say I do
Tell me right now, baby
Tell me right now, baby, baby
Just say I do
Tell me right now, baby
Tell me right now, baby, baby, oh
It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you
Is it the look in your eyes or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares, baby, I think I wanna marry you
As the song ends Buck mouths to Eddie, “I Love You.”
And Eddie knows right then, that is the man he is going to marry, his best friend, the love of his life.
Eddie chuckles to himself, if he’d known all it would have taken was a song for them to get together, he would have sang to Buck years ago.
^^^^^^^
(One year later)
Eddie steps up onto the stage, grabbing the microphone, as the music starts to play Buck turns to look up his gorgeous husband, this is the best day of his life, his wedding day.
“This ones for you my love,” Eddie calls from the stage as he starts to sing, ‘you’re the best thing.’
The End