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“Todd?”
It took Todd a second to place the voice on the other end of the phone, brimming with worry no matter how hard she was trying to be cheerful. Neil had been the Lysander to Patty’s Hermia in the Music Box’s Off-Broadway production of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” more than a year ago, and though they’d gotten friendly during the run they’d only seen her casually since then. “Patty?”
Patty let out a breath, like she’d been afraid she’d been forgotten. “Is there any way I can come by the theater tonight? I really need to talk to you and Neil.”
Todd started doing the mental math. “We have a show going at the moment, but that probably won’t be an issue for you because Neil won’t get back from ‘Whistle’ until that’s long past wrapped up. He’ll be pretty drained, but he can probably—” He stopped, brain finally processing everything she’d said. “Wait. You want to talk to me, too?”
“Absolutely.” He didn’t know what to make of the sudden conviction in her voice. “It’s really important that it be both of you.”
Todd hesitated, oddly thrown. He’d spent more time with Patty and the rest of the “Midsummer’s” crew than he had a lot of Neil’s other co-stars – he’d been working on the script for “Odysseus in the Wilderness” with Gordon at the same theater, and with Neil having been gone so long filming “Camelot” they hadn’t been able to stay away from each other. Later, Neil had admitted that the proximity was a big part of why he’d gone after the job in the first place.
Still, he couldn’t imagine anything Patty might need that would have anything to do with him. According to the world outside a handful of close friends and their little theater’s inner circle, he and Neil were nothing more than roommates and best friends. Maybe she wanted to move in…
“Please, Todd.” The worry was back, unsteady enough to prick at him. “I’ll come as late as you need me to. I just really need to talk to you both.”
Todd closed his eyes. This was bigger than someone needing a room. “Todd usually gets home around 1 a.m. on show nights. The stage should be clear by then, so we can talk there.”
She let out a breath. “Thank you.”
After they ended the call, Todd stared for a long moment at the phone in his hand. Then, taking a deep breath of his own, he called the Mercury to see if anyone could get Todd on the phone.
#
“Thanks again for letting me see you guys.” Patty Carmichael, a short, pretty young woman with sharp eyes and almost Neil’s hair color, wrapped her immense cardigan a little more firmly around herself as she followed Todd up to the stage. She looked around at the set dressing, ready and waiting for the first scene of tomorrow’s matinee showing. “I saw you were doing ‘The Importance of Being Earnest,’ but I also noticed you did a special adaptation of it?”
Todd made a dismissive gesture as he led her to one of the chairs. “I basically just condensed it enough to keep all the twists but not need the intermissions. I only get an adaptation credit so the purists don’t get annoyed.”
“And because trimming Wilde’s long-windedness while still keeping his magic is a near miracle,” Francis added, suddenly appearing from backstage. His tie and jacket were both off, as informal as he ever dressed when he wasn’t in pajamas, and he looked at Neil with the kind of gentle concern he’d never once seen from his biological parents. “Do the two of you need anything?”
Todd looked over at Patty, who shook her head. “I wanted to thank you, too, Mr. Marino,” she said. “I’m sorry it’s so late.”
“Perfectly all right. We theater people are used to late nights.” He turned back to Todd, a silent request in his eyes for a full update later. Todd nodded in agreement, and Francis watched him for another moment before returning it. “Goodnight to both of you, and please pass the same onto Neil when he arrives.”
Patty watched him go, then turned back to Todd. “He seems really nice.”
“He is.” Todd sat down on the couch, a burst of warmth easing some of the tension inside him. “He and Rick are both the best. I don’t know what Neil and I would have done without them.”
Patty’s hand curled more tightly in her cardigan, gaze going far away for a moment. “Neil said you were both members of the nightmare parents’ club.”
Any response Todd might have made was interrupted by the sound of the theater’s front doors opening. They both fell silent, Todd tracing the sound of Neil’s footsteps through the lobby toward the backstage door. He appeared around the corner, drained from the show but still by far the most beautiful thing Todd had ever seen. “Sorry I’m late.” He headed for the couch, briefly moving to sit as close as they would have if they were alone before correcting and dropping down onto the opposite side. He turned to Patty. “’Whistle’ is an amazing show, but the emotions it puts you through are more exhausting than the hours.”
She seemed like she was about to say something, then stopped and gave them both a serious look. “You don’t have to sit apart,” she said quietly, stopping both their hearts with a single sentence. “I know you’re together.”
He and Neil turned to look at each other, an entire silent conversation in their eyes. Finally, Neil turned back to Patty. “I want to know what you mean by ‘together,’” he said carefully.
Patty rolled her eyes, suddenly more at ease than she had been all night. “I mean dating. Involved. Doing the horizontal mambo. A couple. Lovers. Romantically—” When Neil held up his hand in a cease-and-desist gesture, her expression softened. “I’d never say a word about it, but I honestly don’t know why everybody doesn’t know. You two both look at each other like it’s Christmas morning and you just got the best present in the world underneath the tree.”
Todd had the sudden wild thought that they really should introduce her to Charlie. “And you’re okay with this?”
Patty’s expression softened even more, a shadow of sadness in her eyes. “If I found someone who looked at me the way you two look at each other, it wouldn’t matter whether they were a guy or a girl. I would have so much sex with them.” She took a deep breath. “And actually, you two being basically married is a big part of the reason I wanted to talk to you.”
Both Neil and Todd went utterly still. A few heartbeats later, Neil scooted close enough that they were pressed up against each other’s sides. He rested a hand on Todd’s knee, then took his own deep breath. “Tell us.”
Patty swallowed. “I’m pregnant.” The hand that had been clutching her cardigan flattened against her stomach in an unmistakable gesture. “And I want to give you both the baby after it’s born.”
Todd stared, brain refusing to process the words. Neil let go of his knee, fumbling for his hand, and Todd grabbed it and held on as tight as he could. He was having trouble breathing, heart in the process of trying to crawl up his throat.
Neil was the one who found his voice first. “What?” he croaked.
She leaned forward a little, urgent now. “I would make a terrible mom, and more importantly I don’t want to be a mom. But I also don’t want the guy I was sleeping with anywhere near this kid, and I refuse to hand my kid over to an orphanage and leave them in an even more nightmare situation than I had. But you two.” She seemed to get bigger, almost. “You would be such great parents. If you fall in love with the baby even half as much as you two love each other, they’re going to have such an amazing life. And maybe…” Her voice caught, and she shrank back down to human size again. “Maybe you’d let me still be in their life. I should never be a mom, but I think I might be good as a fun aunt.”
He was in shock, maybe. If you’d asked him yesterday, Todd would have told you that he’d never thought about having kids. It hadn’t even occurred to him. He couldn’t be a father, because it couldn’t include Neil and a life without Neil at the center of it was too horrible to be imagined.
His heart was pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. “How?” His voice was a rasp. “There’s no way they’d give us a kid.”
Her expression went so solemn. “They will if I put Neil’s name on the birth certificate as the father. Everyone knows what actors are like, which means no one will question that we still sleep together sometimes even though the show was more than a year ago. And the state can’t do anything, because legally it’ll be just as much Neil’s kid as it is mine.”
"Our kid," Neil cut in, suddenly fierce. He turned to Todd, expression blazing. "No matter what the birth certificate says, the baby will be ours. We'll raise them together, no matter what we have to tell people, and you'll be their dad just as much as I am."
"Absolutely." Patty was a little teary now, but her voice was bedrock certain. "I want this baby to have two parents, and I don't count. You take care of each other, you watch out for each other, and you make each other better people. You'll be so good for this kid." She swiped at her eyes. "And Mr. Marino and Mr. Hascomb sound like they'll be bonus granddads. That's even more than I ever dreamed of."
Todd had to blink hard against suddenly stinging eyes, and he swallowed past the tightness in his throat. There were so many things he'd never dreamed of, before Neil. "It won't be easy," he managed. "For a lot of reasons."
"I know." Neil lifted their joined hands, pressing a kiss against the back of his. "But it'll be full of so much joy, because I'll be with you."
Todd squeezed his eyes shut, loving him so much it felt like it could barely fit inside him. leaning his head against Neil's. "I didn't even know I wanted this," he whispered.
"I didn't, either." Neil's voice was thick. "But if I can do it with you, I want everything."
They pulled each other into a fierce hug, letting themselves just hold onto each other. Todd pressed his face against Neil's neck, daring to let himself imagine a new chapter in the wonder that was his life.
He and Neil... they were going to have a child. A son or daughter who would never doubt for a single second how much their parents loved them. Who wouldn't have to run away from home to become who they were supposed to be.
It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. And as long as they were together, he was sure they could do it.
When they broke apart, it was just far enough to turn back to Patty. "Yes," Todd said for both of them, swiping a hand across his tearstained cheeks. "To all of it. And thank you from the bottom of our hearts for thinking of us."
"Thank you for being the kind of people I could think of in a moment like this." She beamed at them both, still teary. "I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant, but now it feels like me and this baby both have a future again."
Neil grinned back at her, his own eyes wet. "Want to be here when we tell Rick and Francis they're going to be granddads?"
Patty's eyes widened. "Really?"
Todd grinned as well. "Of course. You're part of the family now."
When she burst into tears, it turned into a group hug.
#
That night, wrapped up in Neil's arms, Todd let himself worry. "Do you really think I'd be good dad?"
Neil stroked his thumb back and forth over Todd's hair, fingers tangled in the strands. "Absolutely," he said simply, as if it was one of the basic facts of the universe. "You've got the biggest heart of anyone I know."
He pressed a kiss against Neil's skin. "But I won't know what I'm doing."
"From what I've gathered from the few new parents I've talked to, nobody knows what they're doing." He was silent for a moment, voice taking on a solemn edge. "The ones who think they do are usually the ones who get it the most wrong."
He thought about Neil's father, terrifyingly absolute in what he thought his son should be. He thought about his own father, utterly uninterested in any child that didn't increase his own status and glory.
He shifted enough to rest his chin on his hands. "We'll love them no matter what they want to do with their lives. Even if they want to put on a suit and go into an office."
He nodded. "Even if we don't understand them, we'll love them." Then he smiled a little. "If that is the case, though, hopefully we won't be bad parents if we try to nudge them in Francis's direction. The man really is a first-class accountant, but he also isn't scared off by a wig or a pair of tap shoes."
Todd smiled at the mental image, but the humor couldn't stand up against the serious feeling in his chest. "Even if they don't want any of this, though."
Understanding echoed in Neil's eyes. "Even then." His voice was soft, but underneath it Todd could hear all the years of loneliness they both went through before they'd found each other. "No matter what else we get wrong, this child will never doubt for a single second just how much we love them."
The knot that had been trying to form in Todd's chest eased, replaced by a warmth so deep it seemed to reach back into his past. "You're good at loving people," he murmured, smoothing his hand over the slope of Neil's cheek.
Neil smiled back, luminous even in the darkness. "That's because I'm loved by the best there is."
Todd bent down for another kiss, wonderfully hopeful for the future.