Chapter Text
The cab pulled up to the darkened theater, finally easing the ache that had been in Neil's chest for the last six weeks. He was home.
He gave the cabbie his fair, then unlocked the front door and slipped inside. They didn't have a production on at the moment, so he didn't have to weave his way through any new sets as he quietly went through the back and up the stairs. Tommy had been in the spare room when he'd left, a kid with a voice like an angel and wicked comic timing, but Todd had told him during their last call that he'd found a steady gig at a dinner theater and moved in with Brett.
Tonight, it was just the immediate family.
After Rick and Francis had moved to Florida last year, they'd gotten a few of their set people to help them knock down a wall between the two apartments. Since the apartments had been off limits to anyone but family and trusted friends since before he and Todd had even moved in, the change had gone unremarked upon by the wider world. Lizzie slept in their old room, and felt very grown up about technically having an apartment to herself. When she had a nightmare, though, or when one of her dads was away, she slept in the room they used to pretend was Francis's.
She had the door open, so he didn't have to make a sound as he crept in and knelt down by the side of her bed. Somehow, though, her eyes opened before he could even touch her hair. "Hi, Daddy," she whispered, voice soft and sleepy as she reached an arm out for a hug. "Did you have fun finishing up your movie?"
His chest tightened as he wrapped an arm carefully around her, pressing a kiss against her hair. "Not as much fun as I would have had here."
"Baba and I missed you, too." She gave his cheek an affectionate pat as they separated. "Baba's writing a lot instead of sleeping like he's supposed to. He used to do it in the living room, but I kept making big sad eyes at him so now he does it in your room."
His throat closed up as he brushed a lock of hair back from her face. She was growing up so fast. "Does Baba know you're ratting him out for his own good?"
They'd taken so long finding another word for Dad that would still give them a shred of plausible deniability if someone else heard it. Todd had said she could call him Uncle, just in case, but the thought had been unbearable. Patty may have put his name on Lizzie’s birth certificate, but Todd was just as much her father. He couldn't have even begun to imagine doing this without him.
Lizzie smiled, already drifting back to sleep. "He won't mind. He'll just be happy you're home."
He straightened, chest warm as he dropped one more kiss on her head. "I'm happy I'm home, too."
Then he made his way into the master bedroom. Todd had fallen asleep sitting up, legal pad on his lap and pen rolled onto the floor. His version of the wedding ring they both wore around their necks hung outside the protective safety of his t-shirt, gleaming in the lamplight.
Utterly tender, he set both pad and pen on the bedside table before taking off Todd's glasses. The careful touching was enough to make him stir, looking up at Neil with sleepy-eyed affection that had never once stopped feeling like a miracle. "You're really here," he murmured. "I thought I was dreaming you for a second."
He'd been dreaming about Todd for weeks, too. "I hope it was a good dream."
A shadow flickered in his eyes, gone almost immediately. "Any dream with you is a good one." Todd frowned a little as Neil stripped down to his boxers. "I love that you're here, but your flight wasn't supposed to get in until tomorrow."
"Filming wrapped faster than we thought, so I took an earlier flight." Only by a few hours, which is why he was getting home this close to three in the morning. The rest of the cast had thought he was crazy, but the fact that he wanted to get home to his daughter was enough of an explanation.
The fact that he couldn't be honest about the other half of his heart was an ache he suspected would be with him always.
He crawled into bed next to his husband, something inside him unwinding when Todd turned off the lamp and wrapped himself around Neil. He caught Todd's hand in his, threading their fingers together. "I told my agent no more work that films outside New York," he said quietly. "The farthest I'll go is Jersey."
Todd propped himself up on one elbow, suddenly sounding much more awake. "Hollywood's not going to like that," he warned gently.
"I don't care what Hollywood thinks. I like theater better anyway, and there's always work here in New York." He stroked his fingertips along Todd's jawline, enjoying the roughness of the stubble. Dreams never had that kind of attention to detail. "Anywhere else, you and Lizzie are too far away."
He hated that other actors could bring their families to set like it was nothing, but he and Todd could barely risk occasional visits. He hated even more when other actors seemed to see filming as vacations from their loved ones, chances to cheat with their castmates, when he would have given anything to have Todd and Lizzie next to him.
Here in New York, he could come home every night if it was anywhere in the city. Anywhere in the state, or in Jersey, he could at least manage every weekend. Stage work was even better – Todd was a familiar enough face in the New York theater scene that no one would question his appearance during a production. The people who knew would keep their secret, and the people who didn't would think it was just professional curiosity.
Todd slid his fingers through Neil's hair. "Are you sure about this?" he said softly. His wedding ring hung down so it rested against Neil's chest, close to his heart. "I promised you I'd never let go, and I won't. We'll wait for you as long as we need to."
"I'm the one who doesn't want to wait anymore." He slid his hand around the back of Todd's neck. "My heart's here. It hurts when I'm too far away from you two, or too long away, and acting's no good when my heart hurts that much." He smiled a little. "Besides, I promised you we'd spend our lives together. I'm just being a stickler about the 'together' part."
Todd bent down for a slow, sweet kiss, a better honeyed wine than anything that came in a bottle. When they broke apart, he brushed his lips against Neil's cheek. "Well, now you won't have to get either of us Christmas presents this year. Having you here more beats anything you could get us in a store."
Neil couldn't have even imagined a life like this, back when he was a teenager. He hadn't known how to dream this big. "It's my Christmas present, too."
Todd pressed a kiss against Neil's jawline. "If you wouldn't mind a second one, I have some writing I want you to look at," he murmured. "I'm not sure if it's anything yet, but if it is I definitely wrote it for you."
They'd had nearly two decades together, but the thrill of Todd writing something for him had never faded. "I'm sure it's amazing."
He felt Todd's smile. "You're a little bit prejudiced."
The man had published three books of poetry by this point, the most recent of which had won the National Book Award, along with writing one successful Off-Broadway play and co-writing a second one. They had an entire binder full of rapturous reviews of his work. Even with all that, a part of him still saw his work like that 17-year-old kid who was too nervous to have anyone look at his notebook.
And he was Neil's, for as long as he had breath in his body.
"What I am is right," Neil murmured, sliding his hand up underneath Todd's t-shirt to get to the bare skin of his back. "Both about how talented you are, and the fact that you are wearing far too many clothes."
Todd lightly bit Neil's shoulder, making him shiver in the best way. "You need sleep."
"I need you. Preferably naked." His other hand slid around the curve of Todd's ass, shifting him just enough that their bodies were flush with each other. Todd rolled his hips in response, the friction sending liquid fire through him. Neil groaned, arching up into the contact. "That works, too."
"I think we can manage both." Todd dipped down for another bite, dragging his teeth in just the right way. "Now, get up here and help me get my shirt off."
Neil happily obliged.