Chapter Text
Once they were cleaned up, Neil tugged Todd back down on top of him. "Stay right here," he murmured, reveling in every inch of delightful soreness and the warm, perfect weight pressing him down into the bed. There were so many ways he loved sleeping with his husband, but after he'd been away he needed as much of Todd touching as much of him as possible. "The best blanket of all time."
He felt Todd smile as he nestled down against him, ear placed right over his heart. "I would argue that Lizzie is actually the superior blanket." He tucked his arms along Neil's sides, fingers tucked underneath his back as Neil wrapped his arms around him. "Less chance of oxygen deprivation."
"She is a very close second," Neil agreed, threading his fingers through Todd's hair. "But who needs oxygen when I've got you?"
The joke he'd expected didn't follow, and after a long moment Todd pressed a kiss against his chest. "I'm really glad you're here," Todd breathed, suddenly heartbreakingly serious.
Neil tightened his arms around him. "Talk to me, sweetheart."
Finally, Todd let out a breath. "I do dream about you when you're not here," he murmured. "Just sticking you back in the middle of the day where you're supposed to be." He tightened his grip on Neil's sides, turning his face so it pressed against Neil's chest again. "I have nightmares, too. That I missed you that night."
Neil's chest clenched. He didn't have to ask what night Todd was talking about. "You caught me, though." He tugged Todd upward so he could hold him even closer, shifting enough so Todd could get his arms underneath his back. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere for a long time."
"I know." Todd buried his face against Neil's neck, tightening his arms around him. "And I know it's been years, and if the worst had happened I wouldn't have even known this would have been an option. But every nightmare, I see what my life would have been like if I'd lost you." There was a ragged edge to the last few words. "No matter how many years have gone by, it aches."
Neil buried his face against Todd's hair, wishing he could somehow absorb his husband's pain into himself. If there was one thing that justified his existence past that fateful night, it was that he'd been here to love Todd Anderson as he deserved to be loved. "You don't have them when I'm here, though, right?" If he did, and he somehow missed it...
Todd hesitated a moment before shaking his head. "That's not enough of a reason, though."
"You were always the reason," he murmured, fervent as a man at church as he pressed a kiss against his hair. "You and Lizzie. You're the reason for everything."
Todd lifted his head at that, staring down at Neil with wet eyes. Then he dove down for a deep, intense kiss, molten gold pouring through Neil's veins like honey. His spent body stirred, as responsive to Todd's touch as a violin string stroked by a bow, and he rolled them both so he could get better access to his husband's neck.
Todd moaned when he found just the right spot, clutching at him. "I feel like we shouldn't have bothered getting cleaned up," he managed, breathless. "And that you're not going to get any sleep at all tonight."
"Fine by me," Neil murmured, lightly scraping his teeth over Todd's collarbone as his thumb flicked over his hardened nipple. He grinned when Todd gasped, hands tightening reflexively. "You're so much better than sleep."