Jon gets in touch with Elias from the States with some... observations about his current state of being. Elias does his best to help (read: he does not really help at all).
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The very first JonElias Hosta and I ever wrote, on this day in 2020! Transcript of a texting RP thread we did, formatted for ease of reading.
Building on Jon and Elias's what-could-have-been, expanding their world, and fleshing them out into people we know and love even more than we did at the start has been the most important and rewarding thing to happen in my and Hosta's more-than-a-decade-long relationship, and this was the beginning of that! We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.
JON
We have to talk. And do not mention the time difference, I know you're awake.
ELIAS
You do, do you? I might consider that a mark of progress for your abilities, but I assume it's only that I am, in some ways, predictable.
What is it, exactly, that we have to talk about?
JON
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[These are all sent in very quick succession, without any room for reply between them.]
Abilities, yes.
I hesitate to call them that, I don't feel very...abled, at the moment. If I asked that we skip this entire conversation and get straight to you telling me what I want to know, what would you say?
No, I know. It doesn't work that way. Or, maybe it does, but it shouldn't. We're going to have a normal conversation. Right.
I'm not feeling well. I suspect you know something more about that than I do.
ELIAS
Well, Jon, planes are breeding grounds for sickness, as I'm sure you're aware. And you've been on how many?
JON
I. A few, yes. I don't appreciate you being so obtuse.
I don't think this has anything to do with the planes. No, I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with them. I've flown plenty of times, this is nothing like that. It's been days since I was last in the air, I can barely stand when I wake up, and that's assuming I could sleep, which, I assure you, has been difficult.
ELIAS
It seems to me you've already drawn some of your own conclusions. Is it an explanation you're looking for? Or is it confirmation?
Why do you think you're not feeling well, Jon?
JON
I don't have any choice but to draw conclusions when I'm lying awake all night, stodgy motel after stodgy motel.
I think I'm not feeling well because I'm...away. It's like homesickness, but it isn't, I mean clearly it's not, and it has nothing to do with HOME, anyway, it's the Archives. I can't stop thinking about getting back, like I NEED to be back. Please don't tell me it's anxiety, thinking about everyone's safety, it's not that.
I think I need to be there, I need to be working, or it's. Something isn't right, anymore. I answered you, now you answer me. What is happening to me?
ELIAS
I suppose you've come far enough on your own. Very well. I can meet you in the middle.
You may recall my illuminating little comment that you and the others are like fingers on a hand. As it is, now, you are currently... dislocated. Not broken, not detached. Simply in a situation that won't kill you but isn't ideal. Does that just about describe what you're feeling?
JON
Not ideal? That's an understatement.
So I'm - yes, bent out of place. Can't support weight. If I could find something to splint myself with, but no, now I'm the one being too vague and metaphorical.
I'm guessing you knew this would happen. Why did you let me leave? I don't even know if I can keep this up long enough to get what I came for. You should have stopped me or warned me, at least.
ELIAS
Because I knew you could handle it. And I knew if I told you, you would have made this even more difficult for yourself.
I can assure you, you'll manage. You're already doing so much better than I expected.
JON
I can't imagine it could get much worse without leading to my untimely death. Is death ever untimely? It seems that way, to us, but I suppose death arrives precisely when it means to.
What am I talking about? This is impossible. It's impossible that I'm in this situation and I have no one to talk to about it but you.
Tell me what to do. I need...I don't know, rest, to get this pit out of my stomach, and nothing helps.
ELIAS
I understand, Jon. It's not easy, taking on what you have, straying so far from the Institute. But Gertrude did it, and so can you.
I suggest you check the front desk for any post that might have arrived.
JON
Don't...don't say that to me. I see what you're doing, you're just trying to prop me up, and that's
You know what? I was going to say "that's not fair," but nothing is, is it? It's BULLSHIT, Elias. The whole world's not fair, but isn't that the whole point, that we're out here trying to...what? Level the playing field? Make it better? And not just us, but anyone who has any sort of compassion for humanity.
So you should be TELLING me these things - if there's something I need to know, something that might help or at the very least make things a little goddamn less awful, it's bullshit not to tell me.
ELIAS
There's really no need to curse at me. I'm helping you the best I can without interfering with growth that, might I remind you, will be vital if we're to prevent what's coming.
I was being sincere, Jon. I had my doubts, but the fact that you're still quite capable of arguing with me like this is, while exasperating, impressive.
JON
I don't trust you, and I can't for the life of me understand how knowing what's HAPPENING to me could be prohibitive to my "growth." But sure. Fine. We'll go with that.
Believe me, it's about all I CAN do, and I can do it all night. Do you want to hear about the way my bones are grinding together? Or maybe the way my skin is splitting, except that every time I look, it isn't? Oh, I know, what about the fact that I vomited earlier, and I swear what I threw up had no business being inside my body?
ELIAS
[ It's a good thing Jon can't see the way Elias is smiling at his phone, like he's just received something cheeky and not... that. ]
It should come as no surprise that Gertrude wasn't very forthcoming with the effects of her separation. Even if I'd warned you, I couldn't be certain of these... intriguing specifics.
JON
Being forthcoming isn't really a common trait with the lot of you. So, yeah, you can colour me unsurprised.
It was...I don't know, it was dark, and it spread in the water like ink. It was certainly nothing I ate.
ELIAS
And has anything like that ever happened before?
JON
No, this was the first time. Or. Well, I hope it was the ONLY time.
It stained my mouth. There's still black inside this grotty motel toilet, but I imagine they won't notice. You'd think I'd bother to be afraid, think I had cancer or something. I think I'm too tired to be afraid.
ELIAS
I see. And these splits in your skin?
JON
They aren't REAL. I feel them, they're...I can feel it tightening and then, I don't know, puckering like a scab forming at the speed of light and breaking. I even think I feel...wetness, like I'm bleeding, I'll be certain that I am, and then I look, and there's nothing. Just my hand, or my arm, or my ribs.
It's making me feel insane. There's nothing natural that would cause this.
ELIAS
No, I believe we've rounded that particular bend. Distance from the Institute, from the body, will doubtlessly take a toll on your mind, as well.
JON
Is that all it is? Is it really just... God, am I really just making most of this up?
I know I'm exhausted, I know there's a real reason for it, but could it all be mental, like you're saying? Psychosomatic? The mind can certainly manifest whatever it wants to, even under the best of circumstances. Even for...normal people.
I think. I'm barely convinced there's any such thing as a normal person, with normal experiences, anymore. Only people who know, and people who don't.
It's happening again. It's in the scar on my throat, this time.
My breath feels thin, it's happened before, and every time it does I feel like I can't breathe, or I can breathe too much? Like the scar is a hole and I'm breathing through the hole but my mouth doesn't understand that, yet.
ELIAS
I see. Thank you for these colourful testimonies, Jon. They've been edifying.
I really do suggest you check the post. And then get some sleep.
JON
Fine. I just
No, it's. Fine. I will drag myself down to the lobby, against my better judgment. Surely there's a night clerk. There is a night clerk. I can tell.
ELIAS
Good. Do let me know if anything changes.
JON
[The next day, from the bus to DC.
Blithely unaware he's going to be kidnapped again later today.]So.
The statement. When did you put that in the post? It got here before me. I don't even remember telling you which motel I was staying in.
ELIAS
[ Ah, wonderful. He's just finished up traumatising Melanie. ]
Feeling better, are we?
JON
I. Yes, actually. Much.
But my concern is, let's say, renewed. It's very clear you not only knew this would happen, but planned for it. If it's so important to my progress that I figure these things out on my own, why help me at all? No, I know, because you had to make sure there was something in place to catch me if I fell. Can't very well let your lynchpin lose all its faculties, can you?
What if I don't want to be your god in the machine?
ELIAS
Do you want it less than you want to see the world remade in the Stranger's image?
JON
[Jonathan Sims is typing.... He starts to type, and stops. Starts, stops. Pauses. Starts again.]
No. But I don't appreciate the position you've put me in.
ELIAS
Believe me, you've made that very clear. But we all have our part in this, Jon.
Those... I'm still tempted to call them hallucinations — they've stopped?
JON
They have, yes. Though I still don't think that's accurate, more like...misfiring nerves, I guess.
I feel almost normal, now. And not a moment too soon, I wouldn't have survived on this bus, yesterday.
ELIAS
Very good.
Now you'll have to excuse me; I have some work to get to. I hope you have better luck in DC.
[ Did Jon mention DC? Ah well. ]