Chapter Text
I.
Towards the nighttime, it was a favourite pastime of Hera’s to view the stars of the galaxy. She was very lucky that she had one of the most luxurious views with a front row seat. The Ghost’s cockpit offered a mesmerising look at the galaxy’s system. Although, it could be argued that the turret had a better one, and it probably did, but Hera felt at home in her usual chair, in her usual spot in the cockpit of her makeshift house.
The Ghost was nearing its third birthday - that was the third year in her possession not from its production date. No quarrel with her father could make her resent her childhood home, a place of hope and light during her early years. She loved the home she grew up in and sometimes yearned for it; the familiar tunnels, the mosaic pieces hanging in her bedroom or her father’s office that she was not allowed entry to under any circumstances.
Yet, it was also a reminder of her stolen youth and even worse, death. That was where the Ghost had the upper hand. The most violent act the ship had seen on the inside was a bullet wound or a severe hangover. Unless it was the exterior, then it had witnessed the destruction of many Imperial ships. That was a positive and didn’t carry the same weight as a gruelling death.
Anyway, she tried not to get too caught up in the past, unless she was alone in the privacy of her cabin. Even though she technically was alone in the cockpit, it didn’t mean Chopper or Kanan couldn’t walk in and become disruptive.
There was a thought, Kanan. Hera’s lips rolled into a small grin. Kanan was crew, just crew, and had been travelling with her for almost a year. He was certainly… something. A decent handyman that knew his way around the kitchen, no matter the lack of ingredients. That was how he bargained his stay on her ship, but how he stayed was by offering his tender yet secretive compassion, he was a true friend.
They didn’t dance around the knowledge of his Jedi heritage, or gift or whatever it was called… but they didn’t explicitly discuss it either.
That was entirely at Kanan’s disposal. Hera didn’t mind too much, she wasn’t the type to pressure anyone into talking when they obviously weren’t ready.
But she liked him all the same, appreciated him. Even when Kanan displayed one of his other gifts, something he tried a lot with her. He had a way of encouraging her to open up and talk about things with him. She didn’t know if it was actually him and the ability he perhaps possessed, or the fact that she’d only had a droid to talk to before he joined her.
Hera’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I can’t even remember why we started talking about this.”
The chair squeaked as Kanan leant back, quite cool and relaxed given the situation.
“Neither can I.” He shrugged aimlessly.
Hera might’ve guessed he was bored or worse, he thought the whole thing childish, but there was a certain excitement behind his eyes that encouraged her. He locked eyes with her, as if he knew what she was thinking, and added, “seven.”
“Hmm,” she rested her hand under her chin, dipping her head, “wasn’t it because you admitted you’re a really bad kisser?”
“What, are you dying to find out?” He said wryly, doing that thing with his eyebrows that made them go up in quick succession. “And I never said that - is that what you took from my story?”
“Six.” Hera rolled her eyes. “What, that you’re an awful kisser and women run away from you in bars?”
“She didn’t run away. She was just really athletic, she walked fast!” He protested, “I told you that to make you feel better about never -“
Kanan stopped short, his words catching in his throat. His lips drew together with a silent smack and all at once he was stripped of his cool bravado.
“How sweet.”
A year ago, Hera would’ve stormed off if a man made a comment or remark she didn’t appreciate. Now, she couldn’t help but look fondly at Kanan, who seemed to be genuinely beating himself up. It wasn’t his fault, she knew, because she chose to open up to him.
“I’m sorry.” He said eventually, still red in the face. His brows dipped and eyes softened, a true indicator of whether he spoke earnestly. “I - it’s okay, you know.”
“I know it’s okay.” Hera shook her head, her hand waving dismissively.
She leant back in her chair. “I didn’t tell you so you’d feel sorry for me.”
Kanan made a face. “I don’t feel sorry for you. I - well, just a little bit.”
The grin returned, he tilted his head. “You’re really missing out.”
“Oh, really?” Hera scoffed. This was the type of Kanan she was used to dealing with, he was good at getting under her skin and then out of it.
“You think I’m lying?” He asked innocently.
“What if you were?” She raised a brow. “Four.”
Kanan’s grin grew wider when Hera mentioned the time again. He came forward, resting his elbows on his knees and by the fidgeting of his hand, considered toying with Hera’s in return.
“Have I lied to you yet?”
“No, you’ve always been honest.” She admitted, “about everything.”
“Right, and do you think I’m lying now?”
“You could be withholding something…” Hera shrugged, a playful smile adorning her features.
“And what would that be?” Kanan retorted, equally as lighthearted.
“I - I don’t know. Something .” She looked away, and smiled again when she spoke. “Three.”
“You know, my first kiss wasn’t as sweet as all this.” Kanan tapped his fingers against each other, issuing a comforting smile as he did.
“You’re saying that something is gonna to happen here.” Hera scoffed with little malice. Her fingers were dancing a similar pattern, except it was the nerves eating her from the inside out.
Kanan caught onto her words, recognised her bluff. He smile grew crooked, edging into a smarmy grin. He dipped his head, uttering lowly.
“Isn’t that why we’re counting down?”
Hera swallowed, or sharply inhaled, definitely not both. She was not going to be so deliberate in front of him - had Numa taught her nothing?! This was definitely not her area of expertise, but she had always thought she’d learnt something from standing on the sidelines during festivities at home.
“How many minutes?” She asked quietly and far too softly than intended.
“Just one.” He lifted his head and met her gaze. “We don’t have to -“
“I know.” She stopped and pouted. “Do you want to?”
“Do you?” He replied immediately.
“Yeah.” She sucked in a breath. “I want to kiss someone. It doesn’t mean -“
“I know it doesn’t mean anything like that.” He assured her, but blushed all the same. “It’s just a kiss.”
“It doesn’t change anything between us. It better not.” She looked at him for a second serving of assurance. “It won’t, right?”
“That depends.” Kanan said seriously, more seriously than he’d been the whole night. His whole face changed, dropping to a firm expression. Hera felt her stomach suck in a little more at the importance of it all. She stared back him, intending to defy his suggestion, although the gravity of the moment may have pulled her into him.
Kanan moved a step towards her, noise ceased around them. He dared to let his lips near hers, his breath uttering on her moist skin.
“You might fall in love with me.”
He pulled back and broke into a wolfish grin. Hera snorted, deliberately exaggerating her feigned annoyance at him. He could be so silly, a little bit of an idiot at times. Still, it was a forgiving trait, especially when a ridiculous smile emphasised his handsomeness. Somehow, the beauty of the galaxy was suddenly absent to Hera once Kanan sat before the viewport. He wore the portrait of space on his shoulders, his hair haloed by the ever present glow of the stars and the striking tan of his skin struck by a midnight blue instead.
Hera took a shaky breath in. “Yeah, right.”
“Heart wants what it wants, right?” Kanan continued, still goofy and light.
If they were settled on the ground in the corner of some planet, they might have witnessed fireworks or similar celebrations. Yet, hyperspace didn’t offer that type of spectacle, just an intense amount of privacy and a low thrumming sound that promised everything in the ship was working.
The dashboard flashed to four zeros and rang out a pinging sound like one of the appliances in the kitchen. Instead of alerting that food was ready, it indicated a new day or in this case, a new year.
Kanan’s hand was gentle on her face, his fingers spread across her cheek but refrained from pulling her in.
“Happy New -“ he began with closed eyes, nearing her lips with gentle hesitancy.
Hera’s eyes shot open, “wait-“
“Oh,” Kanan’s cheeks flushed red as he backed away, his hand loosely fell to Hera’s shoulder.
“No, no - it’s fine. Stand up.” She assured him as she rose to her feet.
“What?” Kanan’s mouth gaped as he stared up at her.
“Stand.” She commanded.
“Bossy.” He remarked slyly as he got to his feet.
“You first.” She whispered nervously.
“Close your eyes,” he said softly.
“Okay.” Hera shuddered as Kanan stepped into her personal space, closer than ever before. She thought she might feel embarrassed, but really the nerves took over.
At first, he was painfully slow. It couldn’t be considered a kiss as it was the simple pressing of lips against each other. Hera felt her heart pang, hoping that the hyped-up first kiss would actually be memorable and good.
But if Kanan just wanted to give her a timid little peck, that was fine too. It wasn’t insulting, not really. She just might’ve made assumptions about his former life and what he got up to, but if he moved past all that, that was fine…
Then, when his hand made its way towards her head and gently nudged her into a position that suited them both, Hera relaxed. She let herself droop in his arms as he kissed her.
He was slow and deliberate, but concentrated on the kiss, which allowed Hera to copy his movements. No one had held her like this before, touched her so intimately. She suddenly thought it less of a favour during a bland celebration and more like something she could get used to. But that wasn’t the intention, not the goal she had in mind. There was no way she would kiss him again, they were just kissing to kiss! To celebrate the festivities. She certainly wasn’t going to fall for him. No, a kiss couldn’t make her do that.