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It was Saturday in the Waking World, and Dream of the Endless had found himself once again seeking refuge in his lover’s home. It had been a very stressful year, even after resolving all the most pressing issues since his return, and Dream occasionally felt guilty about how frequently he had gone to visit Hob, only to spend most of their time together motionless on one piece of furniture or another. Sometimes, if it was sunny enough, he would lie on the rug in a perfectly placed sunbeam like an oversized cat. Occasional as an oversized cat; his form was as mutable as he wished it to be.
Hob, six hundred year veteran of rolling with the punches, had become as used to this as to anything else, and was quick to reassure Dream when he attempted to apologize for his behavior.
“You have a stressful job, hosting the entire collective unconscious of all things,” Hob said, rubbing Dream’s back gently. "Just let me know if you get tired of me talking at you when you’re trying to rest, eh?”
“I find your voice soothing,” Dream said, from underneath the two weighted blankets and nest of pillows that Hob had arranged for him on his favorite rug. “I merely fear to burden you by my deficits as a conversational partner.”
“I mean, I always love hearing your voice, but you know me, I can keep up the conversation on my own.” Hob said, trying to be reassuring. “Alright, sometimes it’s a bit like talking to a rock. But as long as you enjoy it, I’ll happily keep it up.”
“You would not love me if I were a rock,” Dream said glumly.
“Rude,” Hob objected. “I absolutely would still love you if you were a rock. I would be disappointed if you decided to be a rock full time, granted. We might have to negotiate some things about our relationship, but I wouldn't stop loving you.” He shrugged, and climbed under the blanket and pillow nest to snuggle up to Dream. “Anyway, long as you weren’t a giant rock, I could at least carry you around with me so you wouldn’t be lonely."
Dream curled up against his chest and sighed, finally relaxing into his touch.
Dream spent the night, and in the morning Hob smiled to himself as he came awake and felt the weight on the other side of the mattress from him, the indent of another body next to his. His dreams were fading away from his waking mind, and he remembered only that Morpheus had kissed him goodbye and then left him in the Library while he went to tend to more of whatever vexed the King of Dreams in his working hours. Happy to be back in his own bed, Hob reached out and ran his hand over…stone. Hob froze in sensory confusion, his brain giving him the neuron equivalent of a 404 error, then rolled over as quickly as his tangle of blankets would allow. Instead of the expected human shape of his boyfriend, there was a large black rock, perhaps the size of one of the bed pillows. The surface was smooth and shiny and Hob didn’t have to look too closely to see that there were stars and even galaxies swirling visibly beneath the surface.
“Had to take me at my word, did you,” Hob murmured quietly, but gamely leaned over and pressed a kiss to the smooth, cool surface. “Look at you, though. You’re gorgeous. What have you chosen here, black agate? I mean, you’d never see one this size out in nature, obviously.” Hob continued to stroke the rock that was Dream, becoming aware of a low pleased rumbling sound in his mind, though not in his ears.
Hob managed to get himself up and showered, popping back into the bedroom to check on the rock every few minutes as he was able. Dream did not seem to be any more mobile in this form than any other rock would be.
“I’ve got to head to work, love,” Hob said, giving Dream’s shiny black surface another fond pet. “You’re too big to take along or I’d let you sit on my desk and I could let you listen to me yammer on all day.”
There was a sudden lurching sensation, as if reality had shifted an inch to the left, and Hob blinked to see that the rock in his bed was now a fist-sized shiny black rock. A size that would only be slightly awkward to take to his classes with him. Hob smiled.
“Right. If I tuck you away in my bag, try not to scratch my laptop, alright, dove? Or actually-” Hob dug around in his closet and pulled out a soft cashmere scarf to gently wrap Dream in before tucking him into the bag along with his laptop and other papers.
One of the nice things about having cultivated a reputation as something of an eccentric historian, other than being able to display your own antique possessions from your past lives while passing them off as historical artifacts, was that it turned absolutely no heads when Hob pulled a medium sized black rock out of his bag and put it down on the stack of essays he was ready to hand back.
He was a little more conscious of Dream's presence, though less so than when he chose to take human form and lurk in the back of the classroom, but it was pleasant to know that he was there because he wanted to be near Hob and to listen to him talk.
Only one student said anything about it when coming up to ask questions after the lecture. Of course it had to be one of the ones that Hob was certain had a bit of a crush on him.
“New paperweight, professor,” Wesley said, nodding his head to the shiny black rock.
“My boyfriend,” Hob answered with a smile, knowing that his literal statement would be taken another way entirely.
“Ah. Paperweights as gifts?” Wesley seemed amused. “Hope it wasn’t anything important like an anniversary.”
Hob chuckled, slightly uncomfortable at the thought.
“No, nothing like that. Just a 'thinking of you' kind of thing.”
“Oh good. Wouldn’t want to think he was taking you for granite,” the student grinned. “Well. It’s pretty, at least.
“I’ll make sure he knows you think so,” Hob said, with an obligatory groan at the pun, and then forcefully changed the subject.
Dream allowed Hob to carry him back home at the end of his classes before resuming his more standard anthropomorphic form.
“Hullo love,” Hob beamed at him. “Feeling better?”
“Yes,” Dream admitted. “The dreams of rocks are slow and peaceful. They dream on a scale that organic life can rarely achieve."
“I bet,” Hob said. “You staying for dinner?”
“Alas, I must return to the Dreaming,” Morpheus sighed. “But I will see you there tonight if time allows.”
“Of course. It’s nice to know you like spending time with me, even if it’s just in a more passive sort of way. Also my students think you’re very pretty.” Hob kissed him gently and hugged him before Dream vanished in his usual cloud of sand.
It might have been easier if Dream had chosen to appear as the same kind of rock each time, but he seemed to enjoy playing around with different appearances, or maybe some kinds of rocks dreamed differently than others. Hob would ask him sometime, perhaps when they were in the Dreaming and had the time and appropriate venue for long, metaphysical discussions that didn’t translate well to human brains. As it was, the employees and regulars of the New Inn were convinced that Hob was starting a rock collection.
“That’s another different one today, Robbie,” one of his regulars, Anastasia, said as he was setting out his papers to be graded. Rather out of habit now more than anything else, he had removed the Dreamlord-shaped-as-a-rock from his bag and placed it on top of the stack. “Is your boyfriend a geologist then?”
“He certainly knows enough about them to be one,” Hob chuckled. “But, no, he’s just really been into rocks recently."
“Nice,” she said.
“Thanks?”
“No, it looks like black gneiss. It’s a metamorphic rock,” Anastasia explained.
“Oh yeah. Suppose it is,” Hob said, taking a closer look at the rock with its rough edges, and black and grey striations. He had simply assumed it meant Dream was feeling more rough around the edges, and less flashy than he had in the past.
“Whereas the one you had last week looked like black labradorite, which is a feldspar.”
“Sounds like you’re the one who's a geologist,” Hob said, somewhat bemused at the turn the conversation had taken.
“Oh no, I’m interested in them for their healing properties. I wonder if your boyfriend is too.”
“It’s possible, but I think it’s more the aesthetic,” Hob pointed out. “You’ve seen how he dresses, Ana.”
“But what if he’s sending you messages, Robbie?” she pressed. “Feldspars boost creativity and can assist in astral travel. They also help with issues relating to self-awareness and self-love. And they can help in finding misplaced items.”
“I guarantee Morpheus does not need any assistance with astral travel. What about this one, then?”
“Gneiss can help you to face unpleasant situations calmly, and allow you to peacefully wait for the destined transformation of your life. It can also assist with breaking bad or unhelpful habits.”
“Incredible,” Hob said, trying to sound interested. “Well, right now you can help with the bad habit of me running my mouth instead of grading these papers like I’m supposed to, yeah?”
“Do you think your boyfriend would share where he gets these from? I’d love to know because the energy coming from them is just… incredible.” She reached out a hand to touch, and Hob caught her wrist.
“I’m sorry, Ana,” he said. “I’m really going to ask you not to do that. I’m certain that Morpheus knows what he’s doing and I wouldn’t want to disrupt the… resonance. Of his gift.”
Anastasia looked unhappy but shrugged and went back to her table.
“She would not have harmed me,” Dream said to him later, when discussing the conversation in bed.
“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t like the idea of one of all my customers copping a feel on my boyfriend, you ever think of that?”
“You think more of your patrons would covet me so?” Dream said, sounding amused.
“Everyone likes a nice shiny object. Also you can't tell me that you as a rock is any less legitimate a form than you like this," he gestured to Dream, sprawled against him under the covers, "and expect me to be fine with strangers running their hands all over your lovely self. Or trying to... I don't know, help themselves. Kidnap you again, even. I'll grant that it's an odd way for me to feel jealous. And if you want me to knock it off just tell me so.”
"I find your jealousy charming in this instance," Dream said, kissing Hob’s shoulder and up the side of his neck.
Things must have eventually calmed down in the Dreaming, as Morpheus spent fewer evenings with Hob in a nonverbal state, regardless of what shape he was in. They spent more evenings out doing normal date-night outings, though Hob noticed that when they were at the New Inn that Dream was not above asking Anastasia rather pointed questions on her opinions about the mystical properties of rocks and listening intently to her answers. Hob’s students and other acquaintances certainly noticed the changes, though most of them said nothing - it wouldn’t be the strangest fad that had crossed their paths at the hands of their teacher.
Dream did still enjoy tagging along to his classes, and Hob had figured out that while sitting in the back looking like his usual skinny goth self was enjoyable, it also increased the likelihood that someone would try to engage him in conversation. Or, as he had informed Hob wryly one day, the likelihood that more of his students would indulge in explicit daydreaming fantasies about one or both of them together. Still, occasionally Hob would find Dream had stowed away in one of the pockets of his laptop bag, once or twice showing up while he was mid-commute, Hob suspected, due to the change in weight of his bag.
Today he was smaller than usual, but flashy, a flattish, asymmetrical black agate geode, with the glittering crystals in the center tiny flashes of brightness that looked very much like a sky full of stars.
“Showing off today, love?” Hob murmured as he placed the beautiful stone on top of the pile of tests that would be handed out as soon as the class got started. He chuckled to himself and rested a hand on top of the glittering surface possessively.
His students all shuffled in at their usual pace and Hob stood in front of the desk, leaning back against it as he waited for everyone to take their seats.
“Alright, today’s the test I know you’re all terribly excited for,” Hob said with a smile. A number of students audibly groaned on cue. “But if you saw your email from the university, there’s a scheduled fire drill here in five minutes so we’ll wait until that is over before I pass them out so we don't interrupt the process. The test is short and you should still have plenty of time to get it done. Anyone who hasn’t contacted me about accommodations, I expect you to get out your phone and email me while we’re standing outside for the fire drill, alright?”
There was a chorus of nods and muttered agreement and then general talking for the five minutes until the shrill sound of the fire alarm rang out. Hob had done plenty of these over the years, and stood holding the door until the last of the students filed out and then followed them down the hall to the exit along with the flood of students from other classes. They lined up outside and Hob did his headcount and reported in before taking out his phone and checking his email to see if anyone had actually emailed him, while waiting for the all-clear. This was mostly for show, these were university students, all adults and therefore presumably able to follow directions, though since it always took longer than he expected for these drills to be over, perhaps that presumption was unwarranted.
There was plenty of noise and chatter, and Hob was paying it very little attention other than to make sure he didn’t miss any announcements, when suddenly Dream’s voice rang out loudly in his head.
HOB.
“Fuck!” Hob exclaimed, fumbling with his phone and looking around. No one else was reacting to it which told him that it was not a sound he had heard with his ears. Wait. He had left Dream in the lecture hall on top of the stack of tests.
Hob scanned over the line of students and pulled one of the more reliable ones over to where he was standing at the head of the group.
“Sophia, something’s come up. I need you to bring everyone back inside once they give the all-clear for me, ok? I'll meet you all inside."
“Sure thing, professor,” Sophia said, looking only slightly puzzled. The campus was almost completely clear and the security staff who were checking classrooms and doors and other required procedures were nowhere to be found, thankfully, as Hob snuck back into the lecture hall otherwise unobserved.
He was not alone. He recognized the student immediately; Max, who already had one brush with academic probation under his belt. As Hob watched, Max yelped and dropped his own phone to the floor, then was backing quickly away from the desk, and the pile of tests that he had clearly been trying to get a sneak peek at.
“Max, honestly?” Hob said with a sigh. He got close enough to see that the rock that was Dream had moved slightly and was now sitting on the corner of the desk closest to him and Max.
“Professor Gadling, your rock… bit me?” Max sounded as though he couldn’t even believe what he was saying. “What the fuck?”
“If you needed help studying, all you had to do was reach out to me,” Hob said with a sigh. He scooped up both Dream and the tests, placing the sparkling rock into his jacket pocket and the tests back into his messenger bag. “Let me see your hand?”
The young man’s hand had several red marks where it appeared that the sharp crystals of the geode had pressed hard into the skin, but there was no blood or other injury.
“What the fuck, professor,” he repeated. “Is that safe to have in a classroom? You could get in trouble putting students in danger.”
“Not when those students are trying to steal a copy of the test,” Hob retorted. “What are you going to tell the board? I was trying to cheat and Professor Gadling’s rock violently attacked me on its own? Please. As if anyone is going to believe that.”
Max, still wide-eyed and now a bit pale, asked, “What kind of a rock is that?”
“Something out of your worst nightmares,” Hob said, deadpan, and felt Dream in his pocket vibrate with what was clearly amusement. It would no doubt become yet another rumor that would circulate among his students and there would be nothing he could do to stop it. At least Dream would be pleased; he loved nothing so much as a good story.