Work Text:
Jinyoung remembers the first time he saw him.
It was a morning just like any other; he had decided to head to his favorite coffee shop nestled in the heart of downtown hoping to make some serious progress on his novel.
The atmosphere of the shop when Jinyoung entered was the usual perfect amount of quiet and relaxed with the familiar baristas bustling about. The look on his face immediately brightened because his favorite table near the large window up front that has a tiny cactus sitting on it was vacant.
He settles himself in and starts up his Macbook Pro as he notices the pink haired waiter making his way over towards him.
“Hey Jinyoung! How’s the novel coming?” Yugyeom smiles as he tucks his notepad back into his black apron. “Let me guess, the usual answer and the usual drink?”
“Very funny.” Jinyoung frowns as he opens up the document for his newest novel’s notes. He stares at the mostly blank document and then lets out a long sigh.
“That bad, huh?” Yugyeom glances at the document Jinyoung had pulled up.
“I just can’t get myself to focus long enough to write anything worthy. I mean I moved to the city to become a serious writer, but how am I going to get published if I can’t even come up with a decent outline!” Jinyoung huffs as he flips his overgrown bangs out of his face.
Yugyeom offers him a consoling pat on the shoulder before walking back to the kitchen to get Jinyoung’s drink.
It’s been almost a year since he left behind his family in his small hometown to pursue his dreams of writing the next Pulitzer Prize winner, but with each day that passes he feels as if that dream was becoming less and less of a reality.
Between coming to this overpriced coffee shop almost every day to mooch off their free Wi-Fi and not to mention enjoy the best organic nonfat soy caramel macchiato latte in the city and only working part-time at his friend’s family owned restaurant as the delivery guy, he can barely even scrape together rent for his studio apartment in the outskirts of the city. To say that he is a struggling artist might sound like a cliché, but that is definitely how Jinyoung feels, and he isn’t sure how much longer he can endure this.
Yugyeom returns a few minutes later with the drink in hand and is about to say some half-hearted remark to try to lift Jinyoung’s dampened spirit when he is silenced by the roar of the red Audi R8 that just parked in front of the window.
“Ugh, an R8? Seriously? How mainstream.” Jinyoung smirks to himself as he blows on his latte, as if he could even ever dream of affording one of those.
However, what, or rather who, has Jinyoung speechless wasn’t the car, but rather the man who got out of the car. The man, fully dressed in an Armani suit tailored perfectly to accentuate his broad shoulders and who looks way too young to be driving that kind of car, had Jinyoung’s heart fluttering inside his chest and his cheeks instantly flushed. Jinyoung quickly pretends like he totally wasn’t just mentally undressing him as the young man enters the coffee shop.
“Welcome!” Yugyeom calls out as the man makes his way over to a small table near the rear of the shop. “Fingers crossed for a big tip from that guy.” he whispers to Jinyoung as he winks and then walks away to take the young man’s order.
Jinyoung can feel the air around him get warmer as he glances up to see that very guy was actually looking in his direction. Suddenly feeling very self-conscious, Jinyoung frantically runs his hand through his hair and tries to hide his embarrassing helmet with racing stripes on it for his scooter under the table.
He glances up once again, with his heart feeling as if it is going to beat right out of his chest, only to notice that Mr. Armani Suit was already immersed in staring at his gold plated iPhone.
“Why would he even notice me, he was probably just staring out the window at his car or something.” Jinyoung thinks to himself as he stares at his screen attempting to force himself to focus on his work rather than some guy who Jinyoung knows he wouldn’t ever even have a chance with.
--
After spending a couple hours at the café and actually making pretty decent progress on his outline, Jinyoung realizes it’s almost time to start work and packs away his laptop into his grey Herschel messenger bag and stares out the window at the changing color of the leaves on the trees outside.
It seems like forever ago, but it was only an hour ago that the mysterious Audi driver passed into and out of his life. Jinyoung can still remember the way the sun reflected off his Tom Ford sunglasses as he got into the red car and sped off, probably back to his high profiled job. He might have been daydreaming of himself sitting in the passenger seat of that red car with his hand edging closer and closer to the driver’s seat.
Jinyoung shakes his head as he snaps out of his daydream and finishes packing up. He places a fair enough tip for Yugyeom on the table and heads out to his scooter.
He hates the color of it, a strange dark green, but he can’t really complain since Youngjae’s family gave it to him to help with the deliveries thinking it would be more efficient than his fixie bike he used to ride.Which is,well, true.
Upon entering the shop, he is immediately embraced by the familiar smell of spices used in traditional Korean food as he enters the restaurant.
“Hello! I’m here!” Jinyoung yells as he walks into the mostly empty hole in the wall shop. It’s still too early for the dinner crowd to rush in.
“Hi Jinyoung! Come on back to the kitchen!” the young blonde came through the curtained door to greet him.
“Done with classes for the day Youngjae?” Jinyoung asks as he follows him into delicious smelling kitchen.
“Yeah, I came in a bit early today to help out Mark in the kitchen.” Youngjae replies with what Jinyoung swears were blushing cheeks.
“Hey Jinyoung!” Mark flashes his large toothy grin in greeting over a pot of kimchi stew. He can’t believe how dumb yet endearing Mark looks wearing Youngjae’s mother’s pink apron.
“Soooo…how’s the novel going?” Youngjae asks as he quickly directs Jinyoung out of the kitchen back into the main part of the restaurant.
“I actually made pretty decent progress on it today, just like you were making pretty decent progress on your relationship with Mark.” Jinyoung replies smugly.
“I…I…I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Youngjae replies almost too quickly as he pretends to run off to go clean tables. These two were so awkward around each other it would take a completely oblivious person not to notice the attraction between them, and of course Jinyoung knows young love when he sees it.
Jinyoung chuckles to himself and then hears Mark calling to him from the kitchen.
“Jinyoung! The first order is ready!”
He runs in to see two bags on the counter with Mark standing there writing down the address for Jinyoung to deliver to. Mark smiles at him and hands him the address and bags.
“You know how to get there right? I’m pretty sure they have ordered from us before.” Mark takes pride in making sure his food get properly delivered to the customers.
“Yes, yes, and I have GPS on my phone so I’ll definitely be okay. Don’t worry so much.” Jinyoung shrugs nonchalantly.
“Okay, be ready to make another delivery when you get back, the dinner rush is about to start!” Mark replies.
“Got it!” Jinyoung yells as he exits the shop and heads toward his scooter.
After a long night of riding around town from apartment to apartment delivering Mark’s delicious cooking, Jinyoung returns back to his apartment, neatly furnished with a mixture of unique antique and modern furniture, completely exhausted. His place nothing fancy but Jinyoung finds it to be aesthetically pleasing and comforting to walk into after a long day out and about in the city.
Sirens blare through his window as he stares out the window at the downtown skyline. He always loved looking at the beautiful view from his window on nights like these. However, this night, he finds himself thinking about that man he saw at the coffee shop that morning and hoping that he was somewhere in one of those buildings thinking about him too.
------++++------
“So I totally backed into the guy right, and then spin move, boom, two points baby!”
Jaebum is half-listening to his right-hand man and most trusted friend, Jackson, animatedly recount his basketball league game he played last night early this Tuesday morning.
“Dude, are you even listening?” Jackson asks giving Jaebum the biggest puppy eyes he had ever seen.
Jaebum looks up from his emails to stare at Jackson.
“Yes, I heard you were once again the star of the game, and how many times have I told you, don’t come into the office wearing a snapback and a suit. It looks ridiculous.” He rolls his eyes and gets back to sorting through his daily emails.
“Relax, relax.” Jackson replies as he takes off his hat to expose his perfectly styled brown locks. Jaebum doesn’t know how his hair can look like that when he’s pretty sure Jackson spends eighty percent of his waking day wearing snapbacks.
“Anyway, did you get a chance to look over the client files I gave you yesterday?” Jaebum inquires to his subordinate.
“Uhmmm, yes…and no?” Jackson winces because he knows Jaebum can be pretty strict when it comes to deadlines.
“Hmm, it’s okay. Make sure you get a full report back to me by the end of the day.” Jaebum responds.
“Man, what’s got you in such a great mood. Got some tail last night?” Jackson asks with a wink.
Jaebum immediately blushing says, “What, no. I’m just feeling generous today so be thankful!”
Jackson smirks and before he exits Jaebum’s office calls over his shoulder,“You should go out for lunch more often boss.”
Jaebum had been wanting to try the coffee shop that he discovered a couple streets down from the office and decided the only time he could make his way over there was during his lunch break. It’s only been a couple months since he started to work back at his father’s company as next in line CEO, so he is still re-familiarizing himself with this area.
He was thoroughly impressed with the quality of their Americanos and loved the quaint atmosphere of the small shop. As he reflects back on his visit to the café, for whatever reason, he finds himself remembering a young looking man being illuminated by the storefront window viciously typing away on his Macbook with his ridiculous oversized glasses, who Jaebum had found himself wondering what he was typing about.
“I wonder if I’ll see him again if I go back to the shop…” Jaebum finds himself thinking about as he glances out his office’s giant window. Not that he cares, or whatever.
It’s almost two o’clock when Jaebum notices that he hadn’t even taken a lunch yet and he could really use an afternoon pick-me-up so he decides to head to the coffee shop to grab another Americano.
“Hey Jackson, I’m heading out for a coffee break. Hold down the fort for me while I’m gone.” Jaebum says as he pokes his head into Jackson’s next door office.
“You got it!” Jackson replies with a wink and a suggestive hand gesture.
Jaebum rolls his eyes and makes his way to the underground garage where he parked Nora, his bright red Audi that his father bought for him as a “Welcome to the Company” gift. He’s not complaining though, he loves this car and he loves to drive fast.
When he enters the coffee shop he tries not to stare too long at the empty window seat.
“I guess he’s not here today.” Jaebum murmurs to himself as he sits down a little bit closer to the window today instead of sitting the in the furthest seat possible away from it so he wouldn’t be too obvious if he just happened to glance over at the man he was hoping to run into today one too many times, out of curiosity of course. It wasn’t like Jaebum was attracted to him or anything like that. He just thought the guy looked, interesting that’s all.
“Hi welcome, may I take your order?” A skinny dark haired boy asks him with the nametag “BamBam” attached to his apron.
“BamBam?” Jaebum thinks out loud as he awkwardly glancing up towards the waiter.
The waiter laughs and says “Ahh, it’s my nickname; nobody can say my real name, so I just use this.” The waiter awkwardly grins then asks, “So, what will it be?”
Jaebum orders an Americano, iced today. He always orders an Americano, black, no sugar. It’s the way real men drink coffee, according to his father.
He fidgets in his seat and whips out his iPhone to check the weekly baseball scores when he hears bells attached to the door chime. He reflexively glances up to spot the guy from yesterday walk in with his helmet under his arm.
“What’s up BamBam? You’re back from visiting your parents in Thailand?” the man who just entered calls out and waves at the waiter.
“Jinyoung!” The waiter jumps up a little bit and skips over to the patron who just entered.
“Jinyoung…” Jaebum thinks to himself as he watches the two who just reunited talk and giggle like schoolgirls near the entrance.
Jaebum immediately looks away at Jinyoung’s slightest glance in his direction and he feels his ears growing warmer and warmer. He clears his throat and continues to stare at his phone even though his mind isn’t processing what’s on the screen.
The man named Jinyoung makes his way over to the vacant seat by the window once again and begins setting up his laptop and for some unknown reason keeps fussing with his hair.
Jaebum thinks to himself that Jinyoung must be a regular because he seems pretty close with the workers, as he takes another long sip from his Americano.
Today, Jaebum notices that he finds himself even more curious than the day before about this Jinyoung fellow. He wonders things like what type of bike he rides or what type of job does he does where he has the leisure of staying at coffee shops long enough to warrant bringing a laptop with him.
Eventually, Jaebum snaps out of his daze and quickly grabs his phone again to check the time.
“Shit.” It’s already 2:30, and he needs to be back at the office for his 3:00 meeting.
He leaves more than enough for the coffee and a generous tip on the table, takes one last glance at Jinyoung, the man who has him so curious, and pushes his way out the chiming door.
“So, how was the afternoon delight?” Jackson calls out to Jaebum as he walks past his office.
Jaebum just glares at Jackson and continues on to his own office where he prepares himself for his afternoon meeting.
He feels his heartbeat quicken when he thinks about how he knows this guy’s name now, or the way he casually glanced at Jaebum like he almost remembered him too. Jaebum shakes his head. It must be the caffeine that’s making him feel this way.
He lets out an audible sigh and closes his eyes.
He flashes back to the sound of sneakers squeaking on hardwood floors, sweat dripping down his face, his father’s voice yelling, “You’ll never make it.” Over and over and over again it rings in his ears.
“Jaebum?” Jackson’s voice immediately snaps him back to reality. “They’re ready for you in the conference room.”
“Ahh, of course. Tell them I’ll be right there.” Jaebum replies as he stands up, gathers his files and heads off to a meeting that would change his life from now on; his father was going to announce to the entire company that Jaebum would be taking over the company and is going to be acting as an interim CEO as he prepares for retirement.
“I guess there’s no turning back now.” Jaebum thinks to himself as takes a deep breath and pushes open the door into the large conference room.
------++++------
“Should I just talk to him, but I don’t know. I don’t want to be awkward about it. Plus I always have stupid helmet hair whenever I see him.” Jinyoung whines at Youngjae as the two of them start setting up the restaurant for opening.
Youngjae, who looks half asleep, replies, “I don’t know Jinyoung. You overthink things. If you want to talk to him, then just talk to him. Clearly you two both frequent that same coffee shop.”
It had been two weeks since the first time Jinyoung had seen Mr. Moneybags enter his favorite coffee shop and the pair had been there at the same time a total of seven times, but who’s counting really. And each time, Jinyoung notices that the other sits closer and closer to Jinyoung’s usual window seat.
“Okay, if he’s there today when I stop by after we finish setting up placemats I’ll think of something to talk to him about…maybe…” Jinyoung chews on his nail as Youngjae rolls his eyes.
“I saw that.” Jinyoung calls out in response to the eye roll.
“Well how do you expect me to react given it’s been two weeks of you coming in every day you see him being all ‘Oh I met my soulmate but I’m too scared to talk to him.’” Youngjae pointedly states.
“Whatever. Don’t sass me mister.” Jinyoung huffs.
“Ugh you sound like my mother.” Youngjae places down the last of the placemats and grabs his school bag. “Anyway, I got class now so I’ll see you tonight.”
“Yeah see you. I should get heading out too.” Jinyoung says to the back of Youngjae’s head as he disappears out the door.
Upon arriving at the coffee shop, Jinyoung notices the familiar red sports car parked out front. He makes sure to check his hair in one of the mirrors on his scooter and entering, ever so conscious of the forbidden scooter helmet hair.
Yugyeom seems busy helping another patron but nods towards Jinyoung when he enters. The shop is mostly empty today as usual at this hour.
Panic strikes Jinyoung’s heart when he turns his head over towards his beloved window seat to notice that the owner of that familiar red sports car is sitting in the table directly next to where he usually sits.
Jinyoung clears his throat, sticks his chin up and makes his way over to his usual seat.
“I’m definitely not scared. I’m definitely going to turn around and...” Jinyoung’s thoughts are instantly interrupted by his bag colliding with the man who was mid-drink of his five dollar Americano.
It happens in what seems like slow motion. The thankfully iced coffee the man was holding spills all over the front of his $1,500 dark blue Armani suit jacket.
“Oh. My. God.” Jinyoung exclaims as he had just realized what he had done. “Is it ruined?”
He frantically searches the room for Yugyeom, feeling like he wants to be the puddle the spill had left on the floor, and his cheeks become even redder when he notices that he was frantically trying to wipe the coffee of the very chiseled chest of a complete stranger.
“Oh, uhm sorry.” Jinyoung says as he pulls back from the man so quickly he trips on the table behind him.
“Hey, relax, and be careful!” The man reaches out and grabs Jinyoung’s hand to prevent Jinyoung from falling over.
“I’m so sorry!! I’ll pay for all the damages! I swear, I’ll even buy you a new suit jacket if it’s ruined! I’m so sorry!” Jinyoung yells as he attempts to bury his face into his own shoulder.
He notices the man is still holding onto his hand and giving him a warm smile.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. Relax. How about…” the man fidgets with his dangling earring with his free hand, “How about... you give me your number and we can discuss how you can repay me?”
Frantically not even realizing the situation, Jinyoung exclaims, “Of course! Anything! I’m so sorry sir!” He can feel tears welling up inside of him, his face getting warm with embarrassment.
“Sir? You don’t have to be so formal. My name is Jaebum. Call me Jaebum.” Jaebum finally releases Jinyoung’s hand to reach into his pocket to produce his gold plated iPhone.
If Jinyoung wasn’t so distraught he would notice that there was a look of sincere concern plastered across Jaebum’s face as Jinyoung starts to feel tears streaming down his face. All he could think at that moment was that he really wishes he wasn’t such an ugly crier.
He types in his number quickly into Jaebum’s phone and hands it back.
“Thanks, we’ll be in touch.” Jaebum says as he takes off his suit jacket to expose of course, a perfectly fitted light blue oxford shirt underneath. “I need to, uhm, get back to the office, but you’ll be okay?”
Jinyoung nods and finally sits down, feeling emotionally spent.
Jaebum smiles, throws his suit jacket over his shoulder like a model or something, and with the click of his key disappears into his familiar Audi.
Jinyoung stares out the window as he drives away in a daze with his hand still warm where Jaebum’s had lingered.
“I’m ruined.” Jinyoung mopes at Youngjae during their nightly shift. “There’s no way in hell I can even dream of affording to buy him a new Armani jacket. Do you know how much those run for, like 2,000 dollars, and I’m pretty sure his was custom fit, which is probably more expensive. This is the end. I am going to quit and start to sell myself on the streets. Thank God I have a nice ass.”
“Oh my god, will you shut up.” Youngjae snaps back. “I’m sure if you just talk to the guy and explain your situation he will understand. I mean it’s not like he yelled at you or seemed very mad about it.”
“Ughhhhh.” Jinyoung moaned at Youngjae. He hates it when Youngjae is so much more sensible than him at times like these.
Suddenly he hears his text tone go off and sees an unfamiliar number pop up.
Hey. It’s Jaebum. From the café? Anyway, how about we discuss what happened over dinner tonight? Meet me at Chez Pierre at, say 8? Sounds good?
“Chez Pierre? I heard that place takes months to get a reservation for.” Youngjae says over Jinyoung’s shoulder obviously reading his text message. “Sounds more like someone who wants to date you than a person who wants you to sell your body on the streets to repay him for his expensive jacket. So are you going to go?”
Jinyoung tunes out Youngjae and types back a response.
Sounds good. See you tonight. (smiley face emoji)
“Does this make me sound like too available?” Jinyoung asks as he flashes his screen at Youngjae.
“What do you even mean…?” Youngjae stares back at him blankly.
“Whatever, I’m sending it.” Jinyoung shoots back and then presses send with sweaty palms and his heart feeling as if it is going to jump right out of his chest.
Jinyoung spends the remainder of his shift working quickly to get the last of his deliveries out so he can make sure he can get off on time.
When he gets home he tries on one of his father’s fancy suits he brought with him to make sure it still fits. He had always dreamt of wearing this suit when he met some powerful publisher who instantly fell in love with his novel, but it will do for the occasion tonight.
Jinyoung checks his watch to see that it read 7:45, luckily the restaurant closes at 8 on Thursdays. There was a perfect amount of time to take the public transportation downtown and show up late but not too late where it seemed like he was standing the other off.
“Hi, sorry I’m a bit late.” Jinyoung says as he approaches Jaebum sitting at a table in the center of the dimly lit restaurant already sipping on a glass of wine, wearing a more casual blazer but still looking like a million bucks, figuratively and literally.
“Hmm, oh you aren’t too late. I just got here not too long ago myself.” Jaebum says nonchalantly, even though Jinyoung had noticed over half of his wine glass is already gone.
Jinyoung takes his seat and stares at the menu. The prices for even a small amuse bouche was more than Jinyoung spent on groceries for an entire week.
“Order anything you want. Dinner's on me.” Jaebum insists. He probably noticed Jinyoung’s look of pure shock while staring at the menu prices.
“Dinner is on you? But I’m the one who spilled coffee all over your jacket…” Jinyoung blushes as he recounts the events of this morning almost feeling the tears welling up inside of him again.
“Let’s not worry about that right now. I invited you out and I want to pay for dinner. So don’t worry about it.” Jaebum smiles reassuringly. He really does have such a nice smile.
Jinyoung smiles back and blushed even harder, his entire body feeling as if it’s on fire. “Okay…then.”
Jaebum lets out a chuckle and takes another slow sip from his wine glass.
“What, what’s funny.” Jinyoung can’t stop blushing from embarrassment sure he looks completely out of place at such a nice restaurant wearing his Men’s Warehouse suit.
“Nothing, nothing…” Jaebum trails off as his looks down at his menu still smiling.
The rest of the dinner proceeds well for the most part. Jaebum’s taste in wine had Jinyoung thoroughly impressed as he picked the 2003 Bonnes-Mares, a perfect compliment to the duck confit Jinyoung had ordered.
They find themselves actually having things in common to Jinyoung’s surprise, like how they both love the smell of the ocean, even though they don’t live close to a beach, and novels written before they were born or the fact that both of them are scared to death of flying.
They haven’t really talked about their personal lives too much, which Jinyoung is thankful for. How can he tell this obviously successful man that he’s a struggling writer who’s not even close to becoming published and also delivers Korean food on a lame scooter for a living?
The food was amazing, as much as he hates to admit that he loved the super mainstream fancy French food.The duck was cooked to perfection and Jaebum insisted on ordering the strawberry savarin for dessert, which was, as Jaebum had said, to die for.
Jinyoung polishes off the rest of what’s left in his wine glass and Jaebum waves over the waiter for the check. He glances at his simple leather banded watch, which looks silly compared to Jaebum’s gold Rolex he was sporting, and it read 9:52.
“Wow, time sure did go by quickly.” Jinyoung thinks to himself as he sees Jaebum slide his black card into the pocket of the check holder without even looking at the amount.
“So, did you drive?” Jaebum asks Jinyoung.
“Uhm…no…I took the subway…” He’s so embarrassed at even having to admit that.
“Why don’t I have my driver drop you off, I’m sure he won’t mind making the extra stop.” Jaebum offers.
“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly ask that of you.” Jinyoung replies.
“No, I insist really. We both polished off a bottle of wine. I want to make sure you get home safely.” Jaebum counters.
“If you…if you insist.” Jinyoung replies as his face flushes red and it’s not only from the amount of wine the two had just drank.
They leave the restaurant and head towards Jaebum’s Lincoln town car, and Jaebum opens the door for Jinyoung.
“I’ll drop you off first. What’s your address?” Jaebum stares meaningfully into Jinyoung’s eyes once they’re inside the car.
Jinyoung recites his address to the driver, suddenly becoming very self-aware of how closely Jaebum rests his hand next to his. They spend most of the car ride in awkward silence, but when they arrive at Jinyoung’s apartment, Jaebum insists on walking Jinyoung up to his apartment door.
“So I had fun tonight.” Jaebum is so close Jinyoung can smell the wine on his breath.
“I…I did too.” Jinyoung replies with butterflies in his stomach.
Jaebum tilts his head and goes in for a soft tentative kiss, taking Jinyoung by surprise.
“Have a good night.” Jaebum smirks as pulls away and makes his way down the stairs back to his driver’s car.
Jinyoung enters his apartment and collapses just behind his door, the sensation of Jaebum’s lips still tingling on his.
------++++------
“How was the date last night?” Jackson asks as he pokes his head into Jaebum’s office the next morning.
Jaebum’s head is killing him as he glances up at his once again, snapback wearing co-worker.
“What…are you…wait, how’d you know about that?” Jaebum glares across his monitor at Jackson.
“Sojin told me you called her dad to hook you up a table at Chez Pierre last night. You don’t go to the big C.P. without a date.” Jackson casually comments as he plops himself down on one of the leather chairs across from Jaebum’s desk.
“I’m not even going to acknowledge you right now. I have a ton of work to do, and I know you do too so let’s talk about my personal life…never.” Jaebum huffs as he flips through one of the several files piled up on his desk.
“You’re no fun today.” Jackson says and he flips around his snapback to face frontwards, the words WANG reading across it. “Did it really go that badly?”
“No!” Jaebum reacts almost too violently. “I just…never mind! I thought I told you we weren’t talking about this!”
“Okay then, boss man.” Jackson shrugs and throws finger guns at Jaebum as he stands up and walks off to his own office.
Jaebum puts his head in his hands. He feels like he’s going to die, and it’s not because of how hungover he is this morning. He honestly can’t believe that he kissed Jinyoung last night on their first date.
“He probably thinks I’m desperate or a pervert or both.” Jaebum thinks to himself as he collapses his head down on his desk.
After focusing more on his work and less on his failed attempt at a date last night for a couple hours, he had finally almost finished going through the stack of files sitting on his desk when he becomes startled when he hears his text tone go off.
Thanks for last night. I really did have fun. Are you stopping at the coffee shop today? If so sit at my table I’m heading there in 30 min. (coffee cup emoji)
Jaebum finds himself smiling as he types back a reply.
Sure I think I can escape the office for a bit. See you soon.
Jaebum sighs as stands up, takes a long stretch and makes his way to the next door office.
“Hey Jackson, I’m heading out for a bit.” Jaebum peeks his head into Jackson’s office on his way out to find his co-worker attempting to shoot crumpled pieces papers into his trash can he placed across the room.
“Dang boss man, guess it didn’t go that badly last night after all!” Jackson hoots while barely missing Jaebum’s head at another terribly failed attempt to shoot the paper into the trash can.
"I told you that it’s none of your business and take that stupid snapback off!” Jaebum laughs as he leaves behind his coworker who he knows is still going to be wearing that hat when he returns.
When Jaebum enters the café, he spots Jinyoung doning his oversized glasses and a fitted denim jacket, already drinking his favorite drink sitting in his favorite spot. This guy is so predictable, even if he pretends he’s not.
“I went ahead and ordered you an Americano. I figured I owed you at least that much.” Jinyoung says as he awkwardly stands up to greet Jaebum.
Jaebum doesn’t know if they should hug or fist bump or what so they do and awkward hug and handshake combination leaving both of them blushing the color of his Audi.
They both take a seat; the air heavy with awkward silence and tension for a good couple minutes until BamBam comes up carrying an iced Americano.
“One iced Americano for the gentleman.” BamBam says, pretending to do a British accent, as he places the drink down on the table between them.
“Ah, thanks.” Jaebum looks up and nods at BamBam who quickly notices the situation and hurries back to the kitchen.
“Look, about last night…” Jinyoung starts but quickly stops. He seems nervous.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so forward. That wasn’t very like me. I understand if you were offended.” Jaebum finds himself blurting this out at a very wide-eyed Jinyoung.
“Oh…no, don’t be sorry. I…I didn’t mind.” Jinyoung hesitates and places his hand slightly over his face, clearly embarrassed.
Jaebum feels his heart slowly sinking to his stomach because the uneasy look on Jinyoung’s face hadn’t disappeared yet. “Jinyoung…”
“So, now that I know the feeling is mutual, would you…maybe…want to go out with me again sometime?” Jinyoung says this in basically one breath as he fidgets in his seat and plays with the condensation collecting on his latte cup.
Jaebum reaches out and grabs Jinyoung’s hand he feels relieved actually. “Of course.” He replies with an unfamiliar sense of warmth in his tone.
“Oh good! I was worried that I might seem too forward or it would be too soon to ask you out again or maybe you weren’t all that interested in me after all and it was just the wine talking last night but, I’m really glad.” Jinyoung blurts out in basically one breath.
Jaebum smiles to himself and thinks that he just might find Jinyoung’s tendency to worry so much just a bit endearing.
After a few more coffee shop dates and a couple nights at bars where they have found themselves getting wrapped in conversation until the wee hours of the night, Jaebum enters a small authentic Indian restaurant and finds the man he had been calling his boyfriend, sitting on the floor in front of a giant bowl of assorted foods he had never even seen before.
When Jinyoung notices Jaebum’s arrival he stands up to greet him. This time they hug, and it just feels so natural.
“I’m glad you found this place okay.” Jinyoung says as he rips apart a piece of a flattened bread-like looking item.
“Yeah, it wasn’t too hard to find.” Jaebum’s really trying to sound nonchalant because actually, he had left his house an hour earlier. He was certain he was going to get lost, like he had for the last place Jinyoung had suggested. Who even knew speakeasies still existed!
“You’ve got to try the naan here, hands down best in the city.” Jinyoung says as he rips off another piece of this “naan.”
Jaebum, unsure of how all this will settle in his stomach, looks down at the giant bowl of richly colored foods and reaches for the food that Jinyoung is so highly praising. After all, Jinyoung hadn’t steered him wrong yet.
The date proceeds nicely, conversation between the two of them had always felt so natural, and Jaebum thinks he has found a new fondness for Indian food, in addition to a growing fondness for the man sitting across from him.
“So do you ride?” Jaebum finds himself asking Jinyoung, suddenly remembering the helmet Jinyoung always carried with him into the coffee shop. He had always been curious about this.
“Ride??” Jinyoung almost exclaims turning even redder than the couple of beers he had drank made him.
“Uhm, you know…motorcycles?” Jaebum clarifies suddenly feeling like the collar of his shirt became too tight and his ears getting warm
“Oh, it’s actually uhm…a scooter…” Jinyoung is basically a tomato at this point.
Jaebum lets out a hearty laugh lightening the mood instantly. “I can see why you took public transport to our first date then.”
“Hey! Don’t hate on the scooter!” Jinyoung replies playfully while smiling so hard you can notice his eye crinkle.
Jaebum can’t stop smiling either, and Jinyoung’s eye crinkle has Jaebum smiling even harder. How’d he get so lucky.
At the end of the date, Jaebum finds himself standing in front of Jinyoung’s door, after insisting on driving him home.
“Thanks for coming tonight…” Jinyoung is looking down at his keys that he can’t stop playing with making Jaebum notice that he really does have such nice hands.
“I wanted to.” Jaebum says as he feels himself getting closer and closer to Jinyoung. Even though they have kissed several times before, Jaebum finds his heart is beating faster than normal, like he’s nervous.
“So…did you want to come in for some coffee or something…” Jinyoung asks tentatively, his features looking even softer underneath the dim porch light.
“I’d love to.” Jaebum grins and kisses Jinyoung again knowing that he’s going to get a lot more than just coffee.
--
“Trust me we have to try this place. It’s vegan fusion conveyer belt sushi! I want to check it out before it gets too popular.” Jinyoung is exclaiming over the phone one afternoon.
It has been six months since Jinyoung had spilled coffee all over Jaebum’s favorite blazer and Jaebum has been the happiest he had been in a long time. Things with Jinyoung so far have been good, no great. It’s kind of amazing how comfortable he feels with someone who constantly takes him out of his comfort zone.
“You always find the weirdest food to try, but if you insist. What time do you get off work tonight?” Jaebum responds while trying to sound excited about food that sounds horrible.
He knows he’s staying late tonight because he still has to finish up the last of his work he needs to do before his monthly financial review meeting with the board tomorrow. There’s only a couple more weeks left before he officially has to start acting as CEO and his father goes into retirement and the work has been piling up, literally, he could practically hide behind the stack of files on his desk.
“Do you think you can get out of the office by 8?” Jinyoung says over the receiver with a sense of concern in his voice. Jaebum knows that Jinyoung always says he works too much and eats too late.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can. I’ll have one of my drivers pick you up at 8:30. See you tonight, I have to go.” Jaebum responds as he sees the pager light on his other line flash.
“Okay, I’ll be waiting then.” Jinyoung pouts back, clearly still not satisfied with the late dinner time.
Jaebum just smiles at the thought of his boyfriend’s usual habit of fussing with whatever scarf he chose to wear that day when he’s worried as he hangs up.
“Hello?” He responds a few moments later when his phone goes off again, expecting it to be Jinyoung calling back to insist he eat an earlier dinner.
“Jaebum, it’s your father. Meet me in my office after you finish all your work for the day. I want to discuss some things with you.” His father’s voice sounds serious, but then again, when does it not sound serious. Jaebum can remember being an eleven year-old and his father using the same stern voice to him for not being able to complete a perfect concerto on his violin.
It’s already past 7 when Jaebum enters his father’s office which is so large it could fit his father’s custom mahogany desk and a small seating area comfortably. His father is looking out one of the glass paneled walls at the lit up city lights and doesn’t turn around upon hearing Jaebum’s entrance.
“Sit down, son.” The man who only faintly resembles Jaebum gestures at the black leather sofa next to the bookshelf full of novels Jaebum is sure his father hasn’t even read.
“Your mother and I are...worried about you.” Jaebum’s father continues, finally turning around to face him.
“You mean disappointed.” Jaebum thinks to himself, but responds,“Worried, why?” as he fidgets in his seat, the leather creaking underneath him, while his father still stands.
“We feel like you have been distracted lately. We’re worried you don’t have the focus that it takes to run this company alone when I retire. Your head hasn’t been clear.” His father pauses and then turns away from Jaebum again.
“We thought that after you so clearly failed at your dancing career you’d be more serious about this opportunity, but I have noticed you have been working shorter hours these past few months. It’s like you’re too busy flouncing around with that boy of yours or whatever.” His father continues, a hint of disgust ingrained in his voice, his back still turned to Jaebum.
“I’ll work harder.” Jaebum says through clenched teeth. It strikes a nerve every time his father brings up his failed attempt at making it as a professional break dancer right after college, or the fact he neglects to call Jinyoung by name even though they have met several times.
“Good. In that case, I expect you to be on the conference call tonight with Taipei.” Jaebum’s father finally walks over and sits down in the small chair across from him.
Jaebum can see the years of sleep deprivation and stress showing in the deep wrinkles under the pair of eyes staring solemnly at him. Jaebum barely even recognizes this man because of how little he had interacted with him his entire life.
This is your future. The company is now your future. The only future that matters to you.
The words echo in Jaebum’s head as he looks down at his hands. These words had been repeated to him over and over again ever since he had agreed to come back to the city and take over the company.
“Of course, father.” Jaebum replies after a few moments of silence.
“Good. You are now excused. Prepare for the meeting then.” His father looks away as he says this and flicks his wrist as if he were dismissing a servant, slowly pouring himself a glass of scotch that was sitting on his table.
Jaebum, holding in all his frustration and anger, stands up without a word and walks out the door.
“Sorry, something came up at work.” Jaebum says over the phone to Jinyoung once he reaches his office.
“It’s okay, we can go over the weekend or something.” Jinyoung replies while doing a poor job of covering up how disappointed he is.
Jaebum can feel his heart sink. He doesn’t want to make this a regular thing, disappointing Jinyoung.
“Of course. I love you,” Jaebum whispers, the phone heavy in his hand.
He doesn’t know when or how both of them started to say it, but right now it flows out of his mouth naturally, and he never said it so sincerely to anyone until he met Jinyoung.
“I love you too…I need to work on my manuscript right now anyway, so I’ll talk to you later.” Jaebum can hear Jinyoung’s voice waver like he’s about to cry.
“Don’t cry okay? I got to go too. Talk to you soon.” Jaebum lets out a long sigh after hanging up the phone.
Jaebum squeezes his eyes shut, frustration growing stronger and stronger inside of him. He loosens his tie and opens his eyes to stare out his office door. The other workers long gone and at home reunited with their loved ones, while he sits here in silence waiting all alone.
“This is your future.”
He mumbles it to himself as he stares at the phone suddenly really wanting to eat vegan fusion sushi.
------++++------
Jinyoung throws his phone down on to his bed instead of out the window like he first contemplated doing. It had been the sixth time in a row that Jaebum had to cancel their plans because of work. He lets out a long sigh as he makes his way over to his desk to stare at his glowing laptop screen.
He’s in disbelief that he had actually finally done it. With encouragement from long Skype conversations with his parents, sisters and of course from Jaebum, his manuscript of A World of Kinetic Nothing is almost complete.
Now all he needs is a little bit of courage to actually meet with publishers and editors to even see if it even has a chance of becoming published.
Jinyoung flips over his iPhone lying on the bed and clicks it to see the selfie him and Jaebum took on one of their rare dates last week as his lock screen. He lets out a long sigh and plops down on his bed. It’s only nine, but he feels like sleeping and he hasn’t even eaten dinner yet.
It’s been two months since Jaebum had officially started acting as CEO at his father’s company and Jinyoung couldn’t have been happier for him. Sort of.
In those two months, Jinyoung had only seen his boyfriend a total of four times. It hurts and Jinyoung often finds himself moping around or complaining to Youngjae and Yugyeom, but he knows that Jaebum still cares about him a lot and they talk on the phone as often as they can. It just isn’t what Jinyoung thought dating Jaebum would be like.
After forcing down some leftover Chinese food he had sitting in his fridge and busting out the last few paragraphs of his manuscript, Jinyoung finds himself once again staring out at the city skyline he had grown to love, wondering if Jaebum is still working in one of those brightly lit skyscrapers. He doesn’t know why at times like these he feels like an outsider trying to blend into this concrete jungle.
“Jaebum…” He quietly whispers to himself before turning away from the window to shut off his small blue desk lamp to go to sleep.
The next day at work Jinyoung enters the kitchen to find Mark looking more awkward and meek than usual and Youngjae nowhere to be found.
“Hey Mark.” Jinyoung sighs. He can feel the lack of sleep he got last night catching up with him even though he downed two nonfat soy caramel macchiatos today.
“Hey Jinyoung…” Mark shoots him a toothy grin, but today it seems more forced and awkward than usual. Jinyoung doesn’t usually fully understand Mark’s brain, but he can tell something is definitely off today.
“Do you know where Youngjae is? Isn’t he usually around here early on Thursdays?” Jinyoung tries to pry more information from Mark who immediately blushes.
Bingo. Jinyoung smirks to himself
“Uhm, I…I don’t know where he is.” Mark responds, a little too quickly as he ferociously starts stirring the soup he’s working on.
“Okay. What happened between you two?” Jinyoung crosses his arms. Mark really does look stupid in that pink apron,especially over his oversized streetwear.
“Nothing…or err…yeah it’s nothing.” Mark looks up from the vibrant red soup he was basically beating to give Jinyoung another unconvincing smile.
“Mark….Tell me.” Jinyoung starts tapping his foot. He really hates how he has to mother Mark at times like these even though he’s the younger one.
“Okay….yesterday, Youngjae and I were just hanging out like we always do after work, but then I don’t know….” Mark starts but then awkwardly looks away from Jinyoung. He can’t help that his death glare is that good.
“Okay, Youngjae confessed to me last night.” Mark finally lets out.
“Oh my god. Don’t tell me, you did something stupid.” Jinyoung covers his face with his hand.
“I think I fucked it up really bad. I just froze. I didn’t know what to say after, and then I laughed.” Mark groans as he buries his face in his hands.
“You did not.” Jinyoung gasps in disbelief, or not really disbelief because he actually expected this kind of thing from Mark. He’s still appalled, though.
“I did! Then Youngjae thought I was laughing at him and just stormed off.” Mark looks like he’s about to have a mental breakdown right into his kimchi soup.
“Well, you like him back right?” Jinyoung asks even though he already knows the answer.
“I mean…yeah…is it that obvious?” Mark rubs the back of his head with his free hand.
“Well then get your shit together and tell him! Tell him that you’re just an awkward dweeb who fucked this up really bad and that you like him too! Fight for the ones you care about!” Jinyoung huffs.
“You’re…you’re right. Hey, I made enough soup and dumplings to satisfy the next few customers I think. Do you think you can watch over the shop and reheat things that Mrs. Choi and I cooked earlier? Everything’s in the fridge. I…I need to go.” Mark rambles, throwing off his apron.
“Of course I can.” Jinyoung feels a little tear coming out of his eye as Mark runs out the kitchen. He really is a sucker for romance.
A couple hours later, Mark and Youngjae return holding hands and Jinyoung lets out a sigh of relief.
“Thanks Jinyoung.” Mark says, his smile now fully sincere as he looks at Youngjae with that same look he gets when Jinyoung tells him how much the customers rave over his cooking.
Youngjae, blushing vibrantly, nods at Jinyoung, then buries his face into Mark’s shoulder, clearly embarrassed.
“We can take over from here, and I already told my parents that we had to cancel delivery service tonight so you can head home if you want.” Youngjae says to Jinyoung even though he’s still staring at Mark.
“Thanks, there’s actually something I wanted to do.” Jinyoung smiles and bids his coworkers farewell and heads out the door.
Yelling at Mark had given Jinyoung an idea. He knew that Jaebum would be home tonight, so it seemed like a perfect time to show up to his apartment and surprise him. He packs up his finished manuscript in the delivery compartment of his scooter when he gets home and again rides off into the night.
Once he arrives at Jaebum’s penthouse, he can feel his heart about to come out of his throat. He’d never done something like this before, but what’s life without taking risks, especially for the ones you love.
He clutches the manuscript to his chest and rings the doorbell. He’s going to do it. He’s going to tell Jaebum that he finished it and is going to start seriously going to publishers.
A few minutes pass before he hears shuffling coming from behind the door, and finally a very sleepy looking Jaebum opens the door sans shirt, almost making Jinyoung forget why he really stopped by.
“Jinyoung! I...I wasn’t expecting you tonight.” Jaebum immediately looked woken up by surprise.
“Well I’m here now, so, surprise!” Jinyoung says as he leans in to kiss Jaebum. Something feels off though, like the way Jaebum stiffens to Jinyoung’s touch.
“I… brought my manuscript I finished it this morning and couldn’t wait to tell you. So I brought a copy over. I thought maybe you’d want to read it…you know, since you helped inspire me to write it.” Jinyoung hesitates, still standing in the entrance of Jaebum’s penthouse.
“Thanks, Jinyoung. I don’t think I’ll get to read it yet, I have an early meeting tomorrow with a really big client, so...” Jaebum trails off, but the message is clear--you shouldn’t have come tonight.
“Sorry for wanting to see my boyfriend I have barely even gotten to see in the past couple months, and sorry for riding my scooter all the way here because I thought said boyfriend would be excited for my accomplishments and be happy to see me!” Jinyoung snaps, hurt at the implication that he’s bothering Jaebum, even if he already suspected he might be.
“I do care. It’s just work…” Jaebum starts.
“Work, work work! All you do is work. All you talk about is work and the company this and the company that.” Jinyoung is crying now, he throws down the manuscript at Jaebum and it spreads all over the floor. All two hundred fifty-two pages of Jinyoung’s hard work scattered at the feet on his stunned looking boyfriend.
“Jinyoung, it’s just that… tonight isn’t a good night.” Jaebum says, his voice raising.
“Then when is a good night for you?” Jinyoung snaps back.
“I don’t know. Just know you’re very important to me.” Jaebum says with ice in his voice, obviously trying not to lose his temper.
“I just don’t feel like I have been lately.” Jinyoung pouts, knowing he’s making a scene still standing in the doorway.
“You are! It’s just sometimes there are other important things…” Jaebum stops mid-sentence, interrupted by Jinyoung’s loud sobs.
Jinyoung can’t stop the tears that keep coming. He knows that Jaebum has a way more important, well-paying, big shot job than he could ever imagine having, and his relationship with Jinyoung is insignificant in the scope of things, but it hurts to hear Jaebum say it out loud, like all his worst fears are being confirmed. But he doesn’t have the energy to fight, or understand, so he picks up his helmet and starts to make his way out of the building.
“Jinyoung, wait! I didn’t…” Jaebum’s voice trails off as Jinyoung runs down the hall not even looking back for a second.
The air is brisk as he hops on his scooter and speeds off. He doesn’t even know where he’s going right now. He just doesn’t want to be home alone so he just wanders the street, tears still streaming down his face.
“Stupid. I’m so stupid.” Jinyoung thinks to himself.
As he turns the corner he sees a bright red light then, a bright flash of headlights coming right at him. He hears the very close sound of a horn.
And then suddenly, everything is dark.
---
When Jinyoung wakes up again, he can’t feel his left arm and he hears the quiet humming and beeping of machines that would normally be found in a hospital.
He opens his eyes and notices that he is in a hospital. He turns his head and notices Jaebum fast asleep next to him, clutching Jinyoung’s free hand.
“What…what happened.” Jinyoung’s head feels like it’s going to explode, his throat scratchy like he hasn’t talked in days.
Jaebum stirs awake and stands up upon hearing Jinyoung’s voice. It’s obvious he hasn’t slept well.
“Jinyoung…” His voice is soft and nothing like it was during their fight.
“Where…am I?” Jinyoung wants to cry again, but he doesn’t have the energy to. He looks down to notice his arm in a full cast.
Jaebum bites down on his lip. “You were in an accident. I got a distressed call from Youngjae last night, and no one knew how bad it was. You really scared us all.”
“Your…your meeting...” Jinyoung realizes that if Jaebum came last night he would’ve missed his important meeting that was scheduled this morning.
“Jackson took care of it. I wanted to be by your side when you woke up. My dad isn’t going to be too pleased about it, but that’s something I’ll deal with later.” Jaebum looks away and clears his throat.
“He really isn’t good at this.”Jinyoung thinks to himself, but wants to smile at the fact that he’s trying.
“You’re…you’re the most important to me, and when I thought I’d lost you forever…I don’t know.” Jaebum sits down again with his hand still clasped in Jinyoung’s. He looks so different sitting here in a t-shirt and sweatpants it looked like he threw on in one second.
“It’s just a scratch…I’ll be okay.” Jinyoung smiles, trying to lighten the mood.
Jaebum closes his eyes, clearly sleep deprived and emotionally spent. “The doctors already cleared you to go home, so Youngjae and his parents are going to come by any second to take you back. I’ll stop by after I clear some things up at work to take care of you okay?”
“I couldn’t ask that from you…” Jinyoung doesn’t know how to tell him that he’s not sure how much longer he’ll even have a home given that he doesn’t have much savings and with his scooter probably ruined and in his condition he can’t work.
“I want to, but I have to go right now so I’ll call you okay.” Jaebum puts on his black hoodie that was draped around the chair and leans down to kiss Jinyoung before he leaves. The fight from last night still lingering between their lips.
“Jinyoung you had us all so worried, thank goodness I made you put my family as your emergency contact so we could get to you quickly. Don’t worry, we already phoned your parents about the situation and they are concerned but significantly less worried.” Youngjae states as he barges into the room.
“Thanks Youngjae…” is all Jinyoung manages to get out. It’s been a long couple of days and he knows he doesn’t need to say more for his good friend to know how appreciative he is.
“Anyways, let’s get you home.” Youngjae says as he clutches his hand on Jinyoung’s uninjured shoulder.
It’s been a week since the accident and it still hurts to stand. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to exist. Jinyoung is definitely feeling the broken bones and bruised ribs now. According to the doctor, he had broken three major bones on his left side after his scooter fell on him.
He’s lying in bed unsure of what time or even what day it is, when he hears a knock on the door, and then a turn of a key. He had given Youngjae and Jaebum both a pair of spares so they can check on him whenever.
“I brought you soup.” Jaebum’s voice sounds strained and tired. Jinyoung knows that he had been working around the clock for missing that large meeting.
“Thanks…” Jinyoung sits up a little bit in bed, surprised to see Jaebum since he has only seen him once in the past week. He hates that he has to depend on people to bring him food and check on him. He hates that he wishes Jaebum could spend more time with him instead of at work.
“Is everything okay at the office?” he asks; Jaebum looks just about as bad as he sounds with giant bags under his eyes that were never there before the accident.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry.”
Jaebum leans in and kisses Jinyoung. They still never resolved the fight they had before the accident, but Jaebum seems to be trying to show Jinyoung that he can balance work and a relationship, even though his body shows otherwise.
“Youngjae told me about your apartment. Why didn’t you tell me they’re evicting you?” Jaebum’s voice isn’t cold, but it’s stern.
Jinyoung doesn’t respond for a few moments. “I didn’t want to burden you further.”
“I told you, you aren’t a burden to me.” Jaebum grabs Jinyoung’s hand. “Move in with me. You know there’s plenty of room for you in my penthouse.”
“No I can’t. I’ve already arranged it with my parents. They’re picking me up and I’m moving back home. I clearly failed as becoming a writer, the reason I moved here in the first place. It’s time for me to go back home. I’m moving at the end of this month.” Jinyoung softly says not making eye contact with Jaebum. If he looks at him he definitely will immediately start to cry.
“So you’re just going to leave?” Jaebum says with a hint of anger in his voice now.
“You have the company, that’s your future. I’m just distracting you and adding more stress to your life.” Jinyoung can’t hold it in anymore and starts to cry again. He hates how many times Jaebum has seen him cry.
“If that’s your decision then...there’s nothing I can do.” Jaebum finally replies sounding defeated after a few minutes of silence.
“I love you Jaebum.” Jinyoung says, his voice sounding desperate. He feels like the biggest failure in the world and Jaebum shouldn’t be with someone this pathetic.
“I thought you knew that I loved you too.” Jaebum says as he stands up and leaves Jinyoung in the dark with nothing but cold soup and a broken heart.
(end chapter 5)
Ever since he missed the meeting with the Lee account because of Jinyoung’s accident, Jaebum’s work had been non-stop craziness. Jackson wasn’t able to close with them and the fact that the CEO wasn’t present had made Mr. Lee even more skeptical of the business than he already had been.
Putting it lightly, Jaebum’s father was less than pleased about this news. Calling Jaebum the “biggest disappointment in his life” sure didn’t help boost his motivation to work, and on top of that his boyfriend, if he’s even still that, of almost a year is going to be moving 5,000 miles away next week.
“I’m not coming in today.” Jaebum says over the phone to Jackson one morning.
“Why not bro, I had all of our clients on my ass all week and you choose today not to come in?” Jackson sounds annoyed. He deserves to be, Jabeum really has been leaning on him a lot these past couple of weeks.
“I need to take care of some personal business. Anyway, pacify the clients for the rest of the day. I’ve got to go.” Jaebum responds and then hangs up the phone.
He had remembered he still had the copy of Jinyoung’s manuscript he left strewn about his front door that night and has meetings scheduled all day with some publishers he knows who owe him enough favors to at least consider Jinyoung’s manuscript.
After picking up each page, he had of course read the manuscript, and it was actually really good. Jaebum can tell the careful thought and consideration Jinyoung had put into each word. He thinks of the long nights of Jinyoung, wired off nothing but cold lattes, must’ve spent working on this.
He knows there’s only one more week before Jinyoung moves back to his hometown, but he’s hoping he can do this one last thing for him, to show that he really does care.
Meeting after meeting, Jaebum grows more and more anxious, with all the “We’ll get back to you”s and the “It doesn’t really fit in our budget at this time”s. Finally at the last publishing firm, JY Publishing, Mr. Park, the head publisher agrees on running the book.
“It has potential, I see that. Jaebum, you’re a real man, doing this for someone you love.” Mr. Park says warmly as he stands up and shakes Jaebum’s hand.This office makes his father’s office, or now his office, look like a kid’s playroom.
“I try; that’s all I can do is try.” Jaebum smiles forcing himself not to jump up and down from excitement as he signs some documents stating that he’ll get the approval of Jinyoung to publish it and other sorts of legalities.
Once Jaebum steps out of the tall glass building, he immediately wants to call Jinyoung to tell him the good news, but then he remembers they haven’t spoken since the night two weeks ago when Jinyoung told Jaebum he was moving. He stares at his phone he instinctively pulled out of his pocket and smiles at his lock screen. It’s a selfie that Jinyoung took of himself on Jaebum’s phone while he was in the shower one night.
They haven’t officially broken up or anything. Jaebum has been busy trying to smooth things over with angry clients and he knows Jinyoung is probably busy preparing to move back home. He doesn’t want to break up, but he can’t say the same for Jinyoung.
He decides to call him anyway, but it rings straight to voicemail. He starts to clear his voice like he’s going to leave a voicemail but then he quickly hangs up. He doesn’t know what he would say over voicemail. He just really wants to see Jinyoung. He just really wants to hold him and tell him they’re going to be okay.
He reaches into his pants’ pocket to see if he still had Jinyoung’s apartment key. When he realizes that he still does, he definitely knows where he’s headed to next.
He hops into trusty Nora, and speeds off to the outskirts of the city.
When he arrives at Jinyoung’s apartment, most things are in boxes already, and Jinyoung is asleep on his bed. It’s funny how his apartment looks so much smaller without most of Jinyoung’s quirky furnishings. Jaebum slowly walks over and sits down next to Jinyoung, softly stroking the hair out of his face.
Jinyoung stirs awake upon his touch; he forgets how much of a light sleeper he is.
“Jaebum?” Jinyoung says in a raspy voice. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have work today?” The pillow had made funny looking creases on his face adding to his cuteness.
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing. Clearly packing has been going well.” Jaebum says as he grabs Jinyoung’s hand reassuringly.
Jinyoung shuffles himself upright and looks at the boxes scattered around the apartment. “Yeah, Youngjae, his family, and Mark have been helping me since, you know.” He gestures his head towards his arm not only in a brace instead of a full cast.
“I know, I’m just sorry.” Jaebum’s sorry for everything. He’s sorry that him and Jinyoung fought. He’s sorry that he hasn’t been around to help Jinyoung pack. He’s sorry that Jinyoung hasn’t even once asked for his help to pack. He’s sorry that he just desperately doesn’t want Jinyoung to leave.
“It’s okay. Everything, everything will be alright.” Jinyoung says as he leans into Jaebum’s chest.
They cuddle in silence, because both of them know they don’t have to say anything for the other to know that everything will be alright between them, until they both fall asleep, clearly both emotionally and physically spent.
When Jaebum wakes up he notices that the blankets around him have been tucked in and Jinyoung isn’t around the apartment.
He makes his way over to the small kitchen table to find a note scribbled on a napkin.
Didn’t want to disturb your sleep. Went on a walk. –JY
He smiles to himself as he imagines Jinyoung’s voice complaining about how he hasn’t seen the sun in days when he hears the door unlock behind him.
“Oh, you’re awake!” Jinyoung has a bag of a tray of two coffee cups slung around his uninjured wrist. “I got us coffee. One Americano for you, obviously, it’s not as good as the cafe downtown, but it’s pretty good for something within walking distance.”
“You didn’t have to…” Jaebum looks at Jinyoung and remembers how they even met. “You know, it’s almost our anniversary. I’m counting the day that you so cruelly spilled iced Americano all over my jacket as our first date.” Jaebum smirks at Jinyoung and he leans in to kiss him. The kiss was slow and tentative like the first time they ever kissed, but from this kiss Jaebum could feel the tension and anger between them begin to dissipate.
Jinyoung immediately blushing all over his face stands there baffled. “I’m surprised you remember the date.”
“Dry cleaning receipts can be useful sometimes” Jaebum mumbles into Jinyoung’s ear, thinking how dumb and cliche it was that he had kept that receipt to remind him of that day.
Jinyoung obviously surprised doesn’t have anything to say in response, so they just move to the mostly empty kitchen in silence to drink their coffees, without taking their eyes off each other.
“Sorry.” Jinyoung finally says after they settle down at the table.
“For what?” Jaebum turning his head from the window to glance at him unsure of why Jinyoung has to be sorry as well.
“Pushing you away.” Jinyoung mumbles shyly fidgeting in his seat.
“It’s okay.” Awkwardness still thick between them and probably will be for a little bit, but at least Jaebum knows that they still care about each other, and for now, that’s all that matters to him.
“I’m going to be busy for the next week or so, I hope you can understand.” Jaebum says before he leaves Jinyoung’s apartment later that night. They had spent most of the day lying in bed watching some random indie movies on Netflix on Jinyoung’s Macbook he had in the queue.
Jinyoung just nods and leans in to kiss Jaebum tentatively before deepening the kiss. It’s been so long since they kissed like this.
“I want to see you before you leave, promise me you’ll see me before you leave.” Jaebum says after they finally break their kiss.
“I promise.” Jinyoung says back, still close enough that Jaebum can feel his breath on his ear.
--
The next couple weeks feels like a whirlwind of nonstop meetings and pacifying clients, but it finally seems like things are returning back to their normal pace.
There’s news of embezzlement at LeeCorp and Jaebum’s father had actually praised Jaebum for not doing business with them, even though he doesn’t know that Jaebum is going to quit soon. Jaebum had been prepping Jackson to take over his position at the end of next month. This type of life, he had realized, much thanks to Jinyoung, isn’t for him.
Yugyeom, the waiter at the coffee shop, told him about a dance studio downtown that was looking for instructors and Jaebum had applied and already basically had the job lined up for him by time he finished up at his current job. Sure he would have to give up Nora and joking around with Jackson every day, but he finally gets to go back to doing something that he loves.
”Passion without expression, is like a beautiful red flower without sunlight.”
Jaebum smiles to himself as he remembers the lines of Jinyoung’s novel.
It’s finally the second to last day before Jinyoung’s parents come and take him back to his hometown and Jinyoung, as promised, is sitting in the lush black leather sofa in Jaebum’s soon to be for sale penthouse looking nervous.
Of course Jaebum hadn’t told Jinyoung he was quitting his father’s company yet so it was understandable why he was quite curious as to why the place was mostly empty.
“Okay, so you won’t tell me why your apartment looks like you haven’t lived here the past couple weeks so what surprise do you have for me! What, what is it. Tell me, tell me!” Jinyoung whines, looking like a five year old who can’t wait to open his Christmas present bouncing up and down.
Jaebum whips out a manila envelope. He had promised Jinyoung he got him a going away present and this was it, he had always wanted to give Jinyoung his dreams and he hoped that he would get close with this.
“What, papers?” Jinyoung says looking annoyed and disappointed as he rips open the envelope.
“Just read them.” Jaebum urges calmly with a smile on his face, even though his heart is beating with anticipation too.
Jinyoung reads them thoroughly and then starts to cry. “Jaebum, you didn’t.”
“I did, all you have to do is sign.” The novel deal that Jaebum had struck with Mr. Park earlier that month was still valid if Jinyoung just sign on the dotted line releasing his work.
“I can’t believe this, I really can’t believe this.” Jinyoung keeps repeating, looking hysterical at this point.
“You’re an amazing writer Jinyoung. I just wanted to prove it to you before you left…if you’re still leaving?” Jaebum says with a hint of hope in his voice.
“I...I just don’t know what to say.” Jinyoung keeps flipping the papers and stares up at Jaebum with the look of disbelief.
Jaebum walks over and sits next to Jinyoung taking his hand is his.
“Just say you’ll stay. Please, Jinyoung just stay here with me.” Jaebum hates how pathetic he sounds right now but the thought of Jinyoung leaving hurts too much.
“Of course I’ll stay. What type of author would I be if I wasn’t here to do book signings with my beloved fans” Jinyoung smiles trying to lighten the mood, still sniffling from crying.
Jaebum just laughs and leans in to kiss Jinyoung over and over again, falling on top of Jinyoung both of them breathless from kissing and laughing.
Jaebum stares and Jinyoung softly illuminated from the setting sun seeping through the window. And in that moment, everything just felt perfect.
The future Jaebum had thought he would have is over after officially resigning from his father’s company, but he thinks, that maybe, this new future won’t be so bad.
------++++------
------++++------
“Come on we’re going to be late” Jaebum calls from across his and Jinyoung’s tiny apartment in the heart of downtown.
It’s been two years since they moved in together after Jinyoung said he would stay in the city with Jaebum and finalize his book deal. The apartment they live in suits both of them nicely with a nice mix of modern and vintage furniture. One wouldn’t think that the furnishings would go together but it somehow worked, just like their relationship.
“How do I look?” Jinyoung asks as he steps out of the bathroom wearing a sleek navy fitted suit of his own, much different than the Men’s Warehouse one he loaned from his father that used to be his only suit.
“You always look amazing to me.” Jaebum walks over and wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s waist kissing him passionately.
“You’re going to make us late” Jinyoung huffs as he pushes of a smirking Jaebum.
“I’m sure Mark and Youngjae would understand” Jaebum replies as he grabs Jinyoung’s waist again kissing him longer until Jinyoung’s head feels light.
“Mmmm, babe. You know how important tonight is to them.” Jinyoung hums as he slips out of Jaebum’s arms and straightens his tie.
Tonight is the night of Mark and Youngjae’s engagement dinner at his family’s restaurant and everyone really is expecting them to be there, on time.
“Fine, I know. I love you.” Jaebum smiles as he leans in for another kiss.
The two of them have really learned how to communicate better, Jaebum is working on his temper and Jinyoung is working on not being so sensitive all the time. Their relationship isn’t perfect, it has its ups and downs but they’re the happiest they have ever been and both doing what they’re passionate about. Jaebum is dancing again and loves spending time with the kids he teaches and Jinyoung is already working on a sequel to his hit novel, A World of Kinetic Nothing, which did well enough for Jinyoung to quit working at Youngjae’s parent’s restaurant and focus full-time on writing his next novel and spending copious amounts of time cooped up in his favorite coffee shop where the two of them met.
Upon arriving at the restaurant which both of them have spent plenty of time at, after Jaebum realized how much he prefers little hole in the wall places like this than those fancy stuffy restaurants his father used to claim were the “only way to eat,” they make their way over to Mark and Youngjae standing closely together surrounded by friends and family.
Youngjae’s mother in tears greets Jaebum and Jinyoung when she notices they arrived. “Oh, who would’ve thought my son would get married so young, but look how happy he and Mark are. Speaking of happy couples, should I expect more engagement parties to be going to soon?” She raises an eyebrow gesturing at the two of them.
Jinyoung immediately blushes because he knows Jaebum isn’t ready for taking their relationship to that kind of level. “Ahh, no Mrs. Choi. We’re just happy how we are now. Right honey?”
Clearly uncomfortable, Jaebum twirls his earring in his left hand and grips Jinyoung’s hand even tighter with his right. “I’m happy as long as I’m with you.”
That answer seems to pacify Mrs. Choi as she just smiles and makes her way back to greet some other people who just entered.
After a couple hours of cocktails and joyful bantering they finally get seated for dinner. The food was delicious as always and after they’re through the main portion of the dinner, Youngjae stands up to make a speech.
“A lot of you have asked me, how did Mark propose. Well, being the complete romantic he is, he took me to where we had our first kiss, this small little park where you can see the entire city skyline. It’s one of my favorite places in the entire city. The sun was setting right over the buildings and I was so mesmerized by the view that I couldn’t even tell how nervous Mark was.” He pauses to let the crowd chuckle.
“Anyway, suddenly he just grabs my hands, gets down on one knee and pops the question. I didn’t think I’d be this lucky to find someone who makes me as happy as he does, but I really can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. So, thank you everyone for coming to congratulate us. Please keep eating there’s plenty of food!” Youngjae finishes as he raises his glass and they all toast.
After a couple more hours of lingering around the party until late into the night Jaebum and Jinyoung head back to their apartment in Jaebum’s Honda Civic, not quite as luxurious as the Audi R8 he used to drive but it still fits his needs and he loves it even more knowing he bought it with his own hard earned money.
“Wasn’t that just so romantic Jaebum? Oh, I can just imagine what their wedding is going to be like I’m so excited. I just absolutely love weddings. Oh, don’t you just love weddings Jaebum?” Jinyoung asks but Jaebum doesn’t really reply. Jaebum tunes him out his mind buzzing with what Youngjae said about not imagining his life without anyone else. Is that how he felt about Jinyoung? It definitely was.
Jinyoung continues to ramble on about how romantic everything about Mark and Youngjae’s relationship has been and Jaebum just can’t help but smile at how enthusiastic Jinyoung gets over this stuff. Jaebum reaches his hand out to holds Jinyoung’s. He just really loves him.
When they finally arrive at their front door Jaebum pins Jinyoung against the door and kisses him heatedly.
“Babe, wait until we get inside the door at least” Jinyoung whispers quietly as their neighbor rushes by pretending not to look at them uncomfortably.
“Marry me.” Jaebum whispers into Jinyoung’s ear.
“Uhm, what?” Jinyoung asks with a laugh because Jaebum can’t be serious right now.
“I said, marry me.” Jaebum says slower and louder this time looking Jinyoung right in the eyes.
“Marry me Jinyoung Park. I don’t, I can’t-” Jaebum starts but is cut of by Jinyoung pressing his lips onto Jaebum’s.
“Of course, of course I’ll marry you.” Jinyoung replies as he starts to cry, the cold wind stinging against his tears.
Then, for a while they just stand there in their poorly lit doorway holding and kissing each other and everything just felt so...perfect.