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Kaigaku was shaking, eyes unfocused and hands clammy. He jiggled his leg up and down, nearly jostling his school desk as he didn’t pay attention to the lesson.
Mr. Rengoku, even as he continued teaching in front, couldn’t help his eyes kept glancing at Kaigaku in his periphery. From his spot at the back of the class, Kaigaku usually at least listened to his discussions, despite his penchant for causing trouble. Kaigaku, even with his delinquent status known throughout both his peers and his teachers, always made sure to keep his grades up, if only for his grandfather.
But now, he could see the brunette staring down at his desk, crystal blue eyes starkly bright against the paleness of his face. Mr. Rengoku could even see the shining beads of sweat make his forehead glisten.
“…Kaigaku?” Mr. Rengoku suddenly called out, causing the young teen to freeze as everyone in class turned to glance at him. From next to him, Gyutaro raised an eyebrow at his friend. Gyutaro of course had noticed Kaigaku’s strange behavior from the minute he walked into the classroom, but instead of biting back with his usually aggressive comments, Kaigaku was silent as he just told Gyutaro in a low voice, “Not now.” Despite his curiosity, that was enough for Gyutaro to back off, instead only giving Kaigaku a puzzling look.
Kaigaku glanced up at Mr. Rengoku, the teacher frowning as he opened a cabinet in the desk, pulling out a nurse’s pass. “Maybe you should go to the nurse’s office; you look a bit under the weather.” He said, voice loud and filled with worry as he held it up, offering it to Kaigaku.
“I—Y-yeah, okay.” Kaigaku murmured, standing up from his seat and pointedly ignoring how his classmate’s eyes trailed after him curiously. Even his steps felt heavy, as if he was walking through ice and lead.
As he finally reached the front of the classroom to grab the nurse’s pass, Mr. Rengoku lowered his voice. “Stay as long as you need there, alright? I can ask Gyutaro to bring your bag if you don’t come back by the end of the lesson.” He assured. Kaigaku didn’t answer, taking the pass silently and slipping out of the room.
As he walked down the halls, his mind was like static, his gaze on the ground as he passed by classes. So entangled in his thoughts he paid no heed to the curious looks students gave him, some filled with vitriol and one with hatred impassioned enough to rival the sun and scorch the earth. Instead, an icy chill settled in his bones, his mind and body going numb as he moved on autopilot. A traitorous part of him assured him that yeah, a quick nap at the nurse’s office was all he needed to feel better.
But he knew he wouldn’t feel better even if they gave him all the medicine in the world.
He couldn’t.
He won’t feel better ever again.
Kaigaku prays that the body won’t rot in his closet.
With Jigoro out of the house, a screaming match between the brothers was inevitable. It was always something stupid, insignificant, and yet time and time again the two found themselves in the same place.
“—Dammit Aniki, give me my wallet!” Zenitsu cried, running into Kaigaku’s room and trying to grab said wallet out of his brother’s hands. Kaigaku merely growled as he tried to elbow Zenitsu away, cursing himself for not kicking the door closed fast enough when he retreated in here.
“It’s just 900-yen, dipshit!” Kaigaku barked back, causing Zenitsu to flinch from the sheer volume he shouted with. However, years of Kaigaku’s aggressive words caused the blonde to at least get used to it.
“900-yen is my entire allowance!” Zenitsu whined. The brunette had raised the arm holding the wallet high above his head out of Zenitsu’s reach, but if Zenitsu was anything, he was scrappy.
“What’d you even use your allowance on, anyway?! It’s just Monday!” Zenitsu asked, voice shrilled as he tried to tug Kaigaku’s arm back down to where he could reach it, trying to practically climb on his brother.
Kaigaku took a step back, hip hitting his desk and jostling the study materials he had earlier arranged there. “I used it to fucking buy our groceries, you little fuck!” And here he thought it was a good thing. The old man had said that he hadn’t been able to stop by the store in a while, so Kaigaku thought it would be a nice gift for the old man if he went in his stead.
But of course, Zenitsu had to ruin all that. “Gramps said that you shouldn’t do that anymore! He can buy groceries; you probably just used it for stupid arcade tickets and fuel again!”
Kaigaku turned red at that. So, what if he used it to buy stuff that he liked aside from groceries? “You’re so spoiled! I did so buy groceries! It’s not my fucking fault you do nothing but eat and sleep all day!”
“And it’s not my fucking fault you don’t have money saved! Aniki, just–! I-I’ll give you half!” Zenitsu tried again to grab at his wallet, jumping up and making a grabbing motion with one hand, the other gripping tightly unto Kaigaku’s arm, nails digging harsh enough into the skin to leave crescent shaped indentions.
Kaigaku snorted, elbowing Zenitsu again as he tried to take another step back. “Fat chance! You’re just going to bolt once you get your wallet!”
“I’m not like you, idiot! I promise I’ll give you half and—ow!” Zenitsu cried out as Kaigaku, in their tussling movements, elbowed him in the face, the two of them now directly in front of Kaigaku’s desk. Zenitsu grit his teeth and wanting to get even, quickly reached up to smack Kaigaku upside the head.
Letting out his own cry of pain, Kaigaku growled as he used his free hand to roughly shove Zenitsu backwards, the blonde stumbling away from him and falling backwards. “That hurt you little shit—!”
CRACK.
Zenitsu fell to the ground with a low thud, his arms falling in front of his face. Kaigaku blinked at Zenitsu, then glanced at his desk and snorted. Served the little brat right; he probably hit his head against Kaigaku’s study desk, a few stray pens falling to the ground next to the blonde.
“Look, I’ll give you the money next week.” Kaigaku sighed, easily opening Zenitsu’s wallet and pulling out the money. He made a face as he noticed the yellow checkered pattern on it instead of Zenitsu’s usual lightning patterned wallet. Must have been a gift from Kamado, no doubt.
Kaigaku tossed the wallet down next to Zenitsu, moving to step out of the room. “I’ll even buy us some dinner by Friday if there’s money left, okay?” He called over his shoulder.
Then stopped as Zenitsu didn’t chase him down, demanding for his money back.
“…Zenitsu?” He turned back around, and Zenitsu was still lying on the ground in his room. Kaigaku sighed, annoyance on his face as he stepped back inside. “Look, don’t be dramatic. Next week I’ll pay you back, I promise. On Chuntaro.” He said, crossing his arms and leaning on his doorframe.
No response.
Kaigaku frowned as he stepped back in his room fully, nudging Zenitsu with a slippered foot. “Would you get up already? Stop being a baby.” He grumbled.
No response.
Kaigaku groaned as he bent down to a squat, shaking Zenitsu’s shoulder. “Ugh, okay fine. I’ll take half…600-yen, okay?” He reasoned. Sure, a little bit more than half, but still.
…No response.
Kaigaku’s brows furrowed as he again shook Zenitsu, harder this time. “Zenitsu?” He pushed Zenitsu’s shoulder, feeling worry in his gut as there wasn’t any sort of resistance. “Hey, Zenitsu…” Does he have a concussion or something? Kaigaku lifted one of Zenitsu’s arms up—
And was met with unseeing, caramel eyes, blankly looking ahead. A tiny trail of blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth, his body limp.
“Z-Zenitsu?”
‘CRACK.’
The memory already seemed dull and faded, yet ringing clearly in his ears. “Z-Zenitsu, hey, hey—” Kaigaku quickly rushed to his knees, pulling Zenitsu up. “Hey, you’re okay, right?” He mumbled, cradling the blonde against his chest.
‘CRACK.’
“No no no no—” Kaigaku felt his breath quicken, his face turning pale as he still tried to shake the quiet, too quiet, blonde in his arms. “Zenitsu, no, I—”
‘CRACK.’
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” He croaked out, his eyes stinging as the heavy, limp weight in his arms didn’t so much as move—so much as breathe. “Zen, I’m sorry, you—no—”
‘CRACK.’
Kaigaku’s eyes were wide as tears fell freely from his eyes, stinging him. Tears fell on Zenitsu’s face, one hitting his mouth and smearing the blood at the corner, diluting it to a pale pink against still warm skin. Honey eyes that were once so full of life, staring at nothing.
‘CRACK.’
“No, no, Zen—m-my—”
‘CRACK.’
His brother.
‘CRACK.’
“Zen, please. I-I—”
‘CRACK.’
His baby brother.
‘CRACK.’
Zenitsu.
‘CRACK.’
Kaigaku rushed into the comfort room, slamming the door open to a stall and emptying his guts as he fell to his knees. The vomit stung his throat, the memory of Zenitsu proving too much. He vomited messily into the toilet, that morning breakfast gone within three minutes.
But even as his body had nothing left to give, he continued to dry heave over the toilet, the acidic bile leaving behind nothing but a sour taste behind.
It was a miracle in and of itself, having gone this far into the day and leaving the regret of yesterday behind.
It was a miracle that Jigoro, despite his concern as to where his youngest had gone, didn’t think to question Kaigaku; why should he, when Zenitsu is known to stay overnight with his friends.
It was a miracle that he managed to pull enough courage and strength in his shaking arms to carefully hide Zenitsu’s body in his closet.
It was a miracle he got this far at all.
But as he tried to regain his breathing, he ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. Sooner or later, Jigoro’s worry would win out, ultimately asking Kaigaku where his brother is. Sure, he could feign innocence, but for how long? What then?
What now?
Kaigaku shakily pulled himself back to his feet, trying to force his brain to think properly, pleading it to. He-he couldn’t admit to ki—t-to anything, not with how he hid Zenitsu’s b—Zenitsu. A-and, everyone hated him, he was sure of it; any excuse to send him away, t-to prison, even over a mistake—
This was all a mistake.
He swallowed down the spit that threatened to dribble past his lips, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Flushing the toilet, the remains of breakfast swirling down into the pipes, he opened his stall door. He-he just needs some rest, having no sleep last night from his actions, from—from Zenitsu in the closet—
“Kaigaku?”
Hell.
Kaigaku glared at Tanjiro, the redhead meeting his gaze with such an intensity that only he could bring out. “The other stalls are empty.” Kaigaku simply said, walking to the sink and turning it on. Kaigaku risked a glance at his reflection, dark circles under his eyes and mussed up hair glowering back at him.
Tanjiro however, instead of going to a stall, stepped behind Kaigaku, his reflection in the mirror looking stern. “I actually came in here to see you.” Tanjiro explained.
Kaigaku snorted, washing his hands briefly under the running water. “Why the hell do you want to talk to me? Thought we hated each other.”
“We do.” Tanjiro replied, his frown deepening. That was one of the many things Kaigaku loathed about the redhead; from his charming smile to his perfect manners, it was Kaigaku who managed to bring this darker, uglier side to Tanjiro. From Kaigaku’s treatment to Zenitsu and nasty disposition, the hatred was returned.
Tenfold. “…Did you vomit? I can smell it on you.” Tanjiro asked, a thin eyebrow rising curiously and unimpressed as Kaigaku cupped water in his hands then brought it to his mouth, swishing the water inside.
After spitting, Kaigaku glared at Tanjiro in the mirror. “If you can smell it, then why the hell are you asking?”
A brief second of silence washed over the both of them, and Kaigaku thought it was finally over and done with. He could finally get to the nurse’s office, stay there until the end of classes—
“Do you know where Zenitsu is?”
Kaigaku whipped his head around to face Tanjiro, the bile in his throat threatening to climb back up and spill his guts all over the tiled comfort room’s floor. However, Kaigaku swallowed it down and tried to give Tanjiro a confused look. “W-wasn’t he over at your place?”
Tanjiro shook his head without hesitation. “No. I walked him home yesterday; that was the last I saw him.”
Shit. “He-he never came home.”
“…Really.”
“Really.” Kaigaku replied. As opposed to Kaigaku’s expectations, Tanjiro didn’t turn into a blubbering mess then and there, worried over the blonde. Instead, Tanjiro still looked at him with such a dark, menacing, suspicious gaze, arms crossed over his chest.
…An interrogation. A test.
Kaigaku tried to make his voice steady, hoping his voice didn’t have so much as a warble in it. “I came home late, and he didn’t greet me,” He shrugged, trying to feign ignorance but knowing that he was failing. Both of them knew. But neither admitted it, admitted to anything. “So, I assumed he didn’t come home.”
“…He didn’t stay overnight at my place, or at Inosuke’s.” Tanjiro continued, his own voice betraying nothing but suspicion for the taller, older teen. “And he didn’t text me at all, last night.”
Kaigaku let out a huff through his nose, forcing a cocky smirk on his face. “What, you guys always—”
“Text each other, yeah.” Tanjiro confirmed with a small nod. “Not a night goes by that we don’t. It’s not like him to suddenly go silent.” It was a statement, an accusation, that was pointed to Kaigaku.
“…Do you know something, Kaigaku?” Tanjiro asked, red eyes unblinking and dark, heavy under his lashes.
“…None whatsoever.” Kaigaku replied, easily stepping past Tanjiro. Once again putting on his tougher, meaner persona (Feeling more like a farce, his legs unsteady) he shot Tanjiro another backwards glance. “Look, I’ll tell the old man about this, but as you can smell,” He waved a hand over his mouth to gesture. “I have a stomach bug that I need to tend to, so I’m heading to the nurse’s.” He then gave Tanjiro one last sneer, his heart pounding in his chest as he bravely, stupidly challenged him.
Tanjiro was silent, smelling not only the lie and the guilt,
But also the rotting scent of peaches hanging over Kaigaku like a dark and heavy cloak, clinging to him.