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‘Fuck.’
That was the first thing that Robin thought as she pushed the practice room door open, revealing Nancy wheeler lounging about like she owned the place.
“Robin.” Nancy nodded; her teeth clenched.
“Wheeler.” The taller girl replied. What the hell was Nancy even doing here? She wasn’t in the band. Hell, she’d probably never even stepped foot in the band building before this.
She glanced at her watch, 6:47, thirteen minutes before the biggest performance of her life, thirteen minutes to practice just one more time, thirteen minutes to get it perfect.
Twelve years. Twelve long years of hard work. She had been playing the trumpet since she was six years old, courtesy of her parents, who insisted that ‘playing an instrument will increase your brain power!’ It hadn’t been easy, with her coordination problems and short attention span, let's just say there had been plenty of blood, sweat and tears put into getting to this point.
So many times she had wanted to quit, had wanted to learn something easier, had wanted to strangle the (clueless) band teacher.
But she had gotten here, through perseverance and hard work.
She was not going to let Nancy wheeler ruin this for her.
She tuned again, for the third time this night, trying to ignore Nancy wheelers eyes on her. It sounded perfect, she knew it was perfect, but a part of her kept whispering that it would never be quite perfect enough.
“That sounds pretty good.” Nancy interrupted, Robin sighed, louder than she had meant to. “I always wanted to learn an instrument. Never really had the time.” Robin checked the time; it was 6:49. There was eleven minutes to show time. She really needed to practice again, and Nancy wheeler was taking up her time with small talk.
“Thanks.” She replied and went back to examining the sheet music. “Seriously though, it’s neat that you can do that.” What was happening? Had she somehow switched into an alternate universe where pretty, prissy straight girls tried to give her genuine compliments? Not make fun of her or ignore her, but talk to her? Weird. This was weird.
“Well, I’ve been practicing for approximately a million years, so I would hope it sounded okay.” She joked.
“Seriously though wheeler, what’re you doing here?” She asked.
Nancy looked away from Robin, fiddling with the hem of her grey cardigan. “… I don’t know, Mike’s performing tonight, so the whole family’s here, got a bit much.” She answered.
Robin nodded. “Okay then, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed in here, but I can hide you anyway, as long as you don’t do what Scott B did that one time.”
“Oh god, Scott B, what’d he do?”
“Let's just say that a tuba shouldn’t be used as a hat.”
Nancy snorted, and Robin felt herself blush, stupidly. She glanced back at the sheet music, her heart pounded, how long until Showtime?
“Well, I promise I won’t try to wear any instruments.”
“I suppose you could stick around then.” Robin replied.
Nancy lent up against the sound proofed wall, her ankles crossed. “I don’t really get this whole music thing anyway.” Robin twisted around to look at her. “What?”
“Like, I just don’t see the point, y’know, you spend all this time learning something that an old guy wrote like hundreds of years ago, you play it, you move on, you forget, you learn something else.”
Here it was, here was the catch, here was where it all went up in flames, it was stupid to ever think that a girl like Nancy wheeler would talk to her anyway.
“I could say the same thing about school newspaper wheeler. You spend ages working on a story, it gets published, nobody really reads it, you forget, you move on.” She stared back at Nancy, her tone sharp.
“Nobody reads it huh? Well at least it’s getting me somewhere.” Nancy straightened.
“I’ll have you know that there is a college scout out there tonight, and if I get in, then even I can go somewhere.”
Nancy looked down; mouth pinched into a tight line. Robin played a note, blowing into the mouthpiece, it came out flat and squeaky, this was bad.
“Well, I’ll be going now. Good luck Robin.”
And with that Nancy wheeler marched across the room, her little heeled boots click-clacking as she went. Robin watched her walk to the door, not knowing how to feel. At least now she could practice in peace.
Nancy was making her way out the door, pulling it shut behind her, when suddenly she stopped, noticing her handbag still sitting in the room. Robin could practically hear the cogs turning in the brunette’s brain: leave without the bag, win the argument, go back for the bag, lose the argument. Nancy grunted as she went back in. Robin had won.
Except, something was wrong, something about this room.
The door.
The door. Shit! The door!
It slammed shut behind Nancy as she went for the bag.
“The door! It’s broken! It locks by itself!”
Nancy’s head spun around, “huh?” She gripped the door handle and desperately tried to pull it open. Robin jumped up from where she was sitting and dashed to the door, where she also tried to pull the door open, failing to do so she pounded it with her fists.
“Help! Hello! Is anyone there?” She checked the time, it was 6:53, the show was starting soon, if she listened hard she could hear the band tuning up. People would be taking their seats; nobody was going to hear her.
“Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. I actually cannot fucking believe this.” She breathed, sliding her back down the door. She curled up against it, her head in her hands.
Nancy stood there in shock.
“Wait! I’ll just call someone! It’ll be fine!” she reached into the bag that had caused this whole catastrophe and pulled out her phone, desperately trying to ring somebody, anybody. She tried mike, her mom, her dad, Jonathan, even Steve. Each and everyone went through to voice mail.
“The show’s starting, their phones will all be off or on silent.”
“Shit, I am so sorry Robin.”
All Robin could do was nod. She swallowed back tears. “I can’t believe this is happening to me right now. For Gods sakes, tonight of all nights as well.”
“Somebody has to come, I’m sure they will.”
Nancy leaned up against the wall, Robin swore she had never hated somebody more than she did Nancy wheeler right now. She could’ve said something, but what would be the point? They were locked in, starting an argument wasn’t going to change that. So, she sat in silence.
At some point Nancy pulled out a chair and sat down, Robin picked at her nails.
Of course it had to be Nancy wheeler she had gotten trapped with. She had always been there throughout high school. In homeroom, in science freshman year, always walking about with some group of girls that were somewhere between being popular and being uncool, seemingly above it all.
For a while Nancy had ignored her, then she seemed to dislike her. Whenever robin had even looked like she might sit near them, Nancy had glared at her with a stare that growled ‘stay away.’
No, girls like Nancy Wheeler did not mix with girls like Robin Buckley.
But here she was trapped with her, for who knows how long. Because of her, she would be stuck in this tiny backwards town forever. And okay, maybe she was being a little dramatic, but the truth was that without somehow magically winning the lottery or getting a scholarship she could never afford college. She wanted to leave so badly. she had spent years of her life wanting nothing more than to just get in a car and drive, move to somewhere where people didn’t stare at you for having short hair, for wearing jeans and pins on your jacket, where you could be yourself, be with who you wanted, and nobody would care.
Would she ever get to have that now? Who knew if this scout would ever be back. She felt silent tears track down her face. Nancy looked over at her and Robin hid her face in her hands, breathing deeply. It was past seven o’clock. Nobody had come.
Was Nancy glaring at her? Seriously? After everything?
At this point she was honestly too tired to care.
‘Wheeler… seriously, what is your problem with me?’ She whispered, just loud enough that both could hear.
Nancy sat up a little straighter, looking a little flushed. She crossed her arms.
‘You’re just so…’
So what? Pretty? No. This was not the time. Fuck, why was she even thinking this? She wasn’t pretty. And of all the people in the world, she did not want Nancy ‘the priss’ wheeler, who had probably just ruined her life to think she was pretty. Did she?
‘Annoying! You’re loud and you’re always making stupid jokes and you never even pay attention in class!’
Nancy ranted, standing up suddenly, waving her hands in the air.
‘And you stole my favourite pen!’
Even though the words seemed meaner than before, at least she was talking now. And somehow, maybe it was the fast, (flustered?) way she was saying them, she didn’t seem so genuine. Almost like she was lying.
Was she lying to Robin, or to herself?
Still, it was almost funny. Robin found herself grinning, just a little.
‘A pen! Oh yeah, you lent it to me in french and I forgot to give it back.’ She rifled through her black jean jacket, pulling out tissues, mints, a pencil, and eventually, a black pen. Nancy blushed bright pink as she handed it to her. Their hands brushed together before Robin pulled away, her heartbeat inexplicably louder than before.
‘Thanks, it's just, y’know, a good pen.’
Robin nodded. ‘Yeah, I get it. Sometimes a pen is just worth it.’
They sat there for a while, Robin didn’t look at her trumpet, couldn’t bare to, not just yet. It sat discarded next to the chair and sheet music.
Nancy leaned up against the soundproof wall, her brow furrowed, glaring at nothing in particular.
‘Ha, you really do hate me. Don’t you?’ Robin observed, standing up to lean on the wall opposite her.
‘No.’ Nancy replied, looking Robin in the eye. Nancy’s eyes looked dark brown in the school lighting, but really, they were more blue, just darker than usual. Robin looked down, realising she was staring.
‘But you find me annoying?’ She countered.
Nancy thought for a second. ‘No, you’re just… hard not to notice.’ She turned unmistakably red. Was she that embarrassed to have looked at Robin? Was she just that ugly or something? Or was Nancy noticing her for… some other reason?
‘I mean… I just…’ Nancy stuttered. Robin stood up straighter.
‘I’m just tired of being stuck in here, I want to go home.’ She whispered, eyes glistened, and suddenly all the confidence and bravado was gone, and both of them were just stressed and tired.
Robin walked over to Nancy and wrapped her in a hug. Maybe it was weird, but neither of them seemed to care.
‘Oh Nancy, it's okay, someone will come soon.’
Nancy just hugged her back. Her cardigan was itchy against Robin’s face, and a strand of curly hair was tickling her nose, but she didn’t pull away. She felt herself breathe easier, maybe she needed this as well.
Time went by, and soon Robin found herself sitting down, Nancy resting her head on her shoulder. She noticed the frilly socks that the other girl was wearing and grinned, they must’ve been quite a sight sitting here together.
Robin looked at her and laughed. ‘Your mascara has smeared all over your eyes, just so you know.’ Nancy sat up straight, touching her own face, ‘Shut up!’
She pulled out her phone and opened the camera app and saw that nothing was there. ‘Where?’ She tilted her head to one side, brown hair falling over her eyes.
‘Haha, tricked you!’ Robin teased. Nancy stared at her in mock outrage, pulling the pen out of her pocket.
‘I have a pen! I will draw on you!’ She laughed, narrowing her eyes before leaping onto Robin.
Robin crawled away on her hands, ‘Don’t you dare!’
‘Revenge.’ Said Nancy matter-of-factly, Robin pulled away from her in a fit of laughter, twisting her head side to side to avoid the pen. Maybe Nancy Wheeler wasn’t as boring as she seemed.
Nancy grabbed her wrist, pining her to the carpet. she laughed into Robins face, she was so close, Robin could smell sweet oranges on her breath.
‘Noooooo’ she said, grinning up at Nancy. ‘Yes!’ Nancy replied, nearly on top of the Robin. Robin looked up at Nancy, she had little freckles across her nose, and was blushing. She was pretty, really, really pretty. Robin had no clue how she had never really noticed before, or truth be told, maybe she had noticed. Maybe she just hadn’t wanted to admit it.
‘Okay, just do it.’ She said, wondering what Nancy would draw. Nancy looked down at her, thinking, her lips parted slightly. Robin looked back.
Then Nancy Wheeler was kissing her.
It was soft and warm, breathy and nice. It took Robin a second to figure out what exactly was happening, and for a bit it was just Nancy kissing her. She could feel her heartbeat pounding and was almost sure that Nancy could too.
Nancy pulled away, looking down at her, seemingly stunned with herself. ‘Is this okay?’ she asked. ‘Yes. Very okay. The okayist.’ Robin replied, before pulling Nancy’s mouth back to hers.
Robin had kissed people before, they were mostly silly childhood kisses with friends that never really meant anything, just kissing because they wanted to know how it felt.
There had been Kisses with boys at parties, spin the bottle, that kind of thing, before she’d realised that A: She was most definitely a complete and utter lesbian, and B: She really wasn’t that into the Hawkins high Party scene.
Then there had been sneaky kisses with girls, Vickie on band camp behind the cabins, before Vickie decided that she really didn’t swing that way and went back to her boyfriend. Other girls who hadn’t even known her name, probably kissed her as a joke. Kisses where she hadn’t known what to do with her mouth, her tongue, her hands.
Kissing Nancy was nothing like that.
Kissing Nancy was everything it should’ve been and more, it was light, and smiling. giving and taking. Robin tangled her hands in Nancys hair, pulling her closer, Nancy sighed into her mouth, and Robin could’ve sworn it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Nancys hands brushed against the sides of her face, and she moved one hand down to her waist. Electricity seemed to flow between them, and in the moment they were one, together.
The door flew open. Nancy left off her, and Robin looked up to see Steve standing in the doorway.
Steve’s eyes flitted around the room, taking them both in. ‘sorry to uh... interrupt... just uh...’
‘Oh, thank God you’re here! I can still make my solo!’ Robin picked up her phone and her trumpet, then her sheet music, and dashed to the door. Nancy sat there stunned, until grabbing her bag and following Robin out of the room. ‘Yeah, thanks Steve.’ She said as she passed him.
Nancy skipped down the hallway to Robin and grabbed her hand, Robin looked back at her, curious. ‘Hey Robin, good luck.’
She kissed Robins cheek before walking back down the hall to find her seat. Robin just watched, before Steve came and tapped her on the shoulder, ‘It’s show time!’ she walked side stage with him, he looked at her ‘Was everything okay with you and Nancy? I know you haven’t gotten on in the past.’
Robin got her trumpet and her music, and took a deep breath before replying ‘Yeah, she’s really not that bad, she’s alright, actually.’ Steve nodded.
She walked out onto the stage, put her sheet music down and picked up her trumpet. There were so many people watching, a few more than usual, but not so many she couldn’t see Nancy’s face in the audience. Nancy seemed to see her and smiled softly. Robin started to play.
It was now nine thirty. The concert was over, after Robin had started playing it had all gone smoothly, there had been some... interesting performances from some of the younger students, notably an out of tune rendition of the imperial march played by Nancy’s brother Mike and some other kid named Dustin, which the audience had loved.
It was hard to believe it was all over now, after everything, but she was happy, it had seemed good.
She walked out into the foyer where her mum was waiting for her. ‘Robin! Honey, you were excellent tonight!’ Her mum beamed, enveloping her in a hug. ‘Aw, thanks, it was a bit of a drama.’ She replied.
‘Tell me about it later Robby, this is Eric.’ She said gesturing to an official looking man standing next to her. ‘Hi Robin, I’m from the Berkeley school of music, I was just talking to your mother and letting her know that we’ll be in touch about scholarships for college next year.’
So this was the scout, and he was thinking of offering her a scholarship. She resisted the urge to jump up and down on the spot and found herself beaming.
‘Oh wow, thank you so much.’
‘No problem, and awesome playing tonight.’ Eric walked of, and Robin looked to her mum in complete amazement.
She found Steve in the crowd and jumped up to hug him. ‘I think I’m going to college!’ she squealed. ‘That’s so great! You deserve it, seriously.’ He hugged her again. ‘I genuinely don’t think it’s sunk in yet; I just can’t believe it!’
Steve started saying something, but Robin didn’t know what it was, and she didn’t really care, because she could see Nancy walking towards her.
Nancy pushed her way through the crowd, muttering apologies until she was standing next to them.
‘Hey Steve, I need to borrow Robin for a second if that’s okay.’ Steve looked from Nancy to Robin. From Robin to Nancy. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
He nodded, giving Robin a knowing look. ‘Yeah sure, that’s fine.’
Nancy took Robins hand and lead her outside. The air was chilly, and the stars were peeping through clouds. The moonlight made Nancy look purple.
Nancy turned to face her. ‘You were so good!’ She placed a small kiss to Robins lips. ‘Ha, thanks, I’m still shocked. Tonight’s been a complete roller-coaster.’
‘Yeah, I get that. Has it been... alright though?’ Nancy asked, suddenly shy.
‘More than alright, I think.’ Robin replied and put a hand on Nancy’s cheek. She took a step closer. Nancy smiled up at her before stepping up on her tiptoes to lace her fingers in Robins hair.
They kissed, and the world slowed down. Robin’s eyes fluttered open. ‘I can’t believe I thought you were straight.’
‘I’m bisexual.’ Nancy said. Her breath foggy in the cold. Robin kissed her again. ‘Figured.’ They laughed.
Robin laced her fingers through Nancy's. ‘Sooo, what does this mean for us?’
‘Well, I like you, and I hope you like me...’ ‘I do.’ ‘So, if at some point you wanted to go out, I would be very, very, into that.’
Robin grinned down at her happily. ‘That could be arranged... how does Friday sound? I could pick you up at six.’
‘Yeah, that sounds great.’
They kissed again.
‘Okay, not to spoil the moment, but I am freezing right now.’ Laughed Robin.
‘Let’s go inside then.’ Nancy took Robins hand, and they went back inside, feeling bubbly and full.
Eventually the night came to an end, and Robin was happier than she could remember being in a long time.
She fell asleep in the early hours of the morning with thoughts of Friday, trumpets, stars and pretty girls with dark blue eyes swirling around her head.