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When Sue first came to Ms. Gardner in a nonsensical panic, her first instinct is to turn her away, her protectiveness over Carrie and her special night nearly blinding her from the truth. But when she really listens to what Sue tells her, her heart drops.
Ms. Gardner storms through the auditorium, finding the mean-hearted hooligans above the stage with their buckets of blood and drags them kicking and screaming before they can humiliate an innocent girl on the most special night of her life so far.
She makes sure they’ve got no backups and tosses it all where they can’t salvage it, the vice principal escorting them out as his ruthless lecture begins and more than eager to call the miscreant’s parents.
Ms. Gardner wants to follow, to see justice be served, but she stays, and God is she glad she does.
Because when she sees Carrie White standing up there in her beautiful prom dress and blinding smile and tiara in her mess of curls, she knows she did the right thing.
Once she and Tommy Ross have their slow dance, Carrie runs to Ms. Gardner, beaming and nearly jumping up and down as she holds her hands with a trembling grasp, a look of disbelief and pure joy on her features.
“Thank you, Ms. Gardner,” Carrie says. “You believed that I could be beautiful. And you made me believe it too.” She grins, her plump cheeks flushed from all the excitement. “I’m so happy.”
She barrels into Ms. Gardner and the woman wastes no moment before pulling her into a tight embrace. “I’m so happy you’re happy, darlin’.”
Ms. Gardner doesn’t tell Carrie about the blood or the bullies. There’s no reason to ruin her perfect night.
As the night begins to dwindle and the kids begin to shuffle out of the gymnasium off to wherever it is they go after school dances, Carrie still sits on the edge of the stage, tiara in her hands as she stares at it with wonderment.
“Carrie,” Ms. Gardner says. “It’s getting late. Your folks gonna pick you up soon?”
Her face falls, the beautiful awe disappearing as it’s replaced with a blank hurt. “You’re right. Mama… Mama’s waiting for me at home. I should get going.” She stands and is about to dash away when Ms. Gardner stops her.
“We’re heading the same way,” Ms. Gardner says. “How about we walk together?”
Carrie’s lips turn up. “I’d like that a lot.” Carrie puts her tiara back on goes to grab Ms. Gardner’s hand.
The girl may be a little old for hand holding, but Ms. Gardner knows that she needs it.
Carrie looks up at the stars as they walk, still in a daze from her night.
“What was your favorite part of your night?” Ms. Gardner asks.
She glances at Ms. Gardner before looking back up at the stars. “You’d think it would be winning. Hearing my name, getting the crown, dancing with Tommy Ross, but… my favorite part is being with you.”
Ms. Gardner’s steps falter. “Really? Why’s that?”
“Because all of them, even though they voted for me, they didn’t look at me like I was their Prom Queen. They looked at me the same way they do everyday. But you? You look at me the same way you always do.”
“And how’s that different?”
“Because you actually care about me.”
Ms. Gardner feels her breath catch, a lump in her throat keeping the words from coming out. “Of course I care about you, Carrie. And they’re fools if they don’t.”
“Then they’re fools.” She grins mischievously, like it’s a little secret just for them.
Ms. Gardner laughs, the tightness lifting just slightly.
As they enter the dimly lit suburb, Carrie’s steps stop. Once again, her face dims. “This is me.” She turns to Ms. Gardner. “Thank you for walking all this way with me. I know it wasn’t on your way.” She smiles. “But thank you for saying it was anyways.”
“You have a good night now, you hear? You’ve had lots of excitement.”
“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to sleep,” she says. “It’s like there’s bees under my skin just buzzing and buzzing and buzzing.”
“That’s a good thing,” Ms. Gardner says.
“I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before.”
Ms. Gardner’s heart constricts. “Well, now you have.”
Carrie takes in her words and nods. “Good night, Ms. Gardner!” She hurries up the stairs to her home and opens the door with her key. She turns around one last time before waving giddily at her before heading into her home.
Ms. Gardner can’t help but stand and stare at the now closed door. There’s just something cementing her feet to that spot, watching where Carrie had once been.
She’s such a sweet girl and she’s got the whole world against her.
But tonight, she got to be just a normal girl. More than a normal girl. She got to be the most special girl of the night.
Ms. Gardner is finally able to pry her feet away and is turning away when she hears an agonized scream from inside the house.
She goes to the door and is relieved to find it unlocked, whipping it open to find Carrie writhing on the ground with a knife in her back, her mother lying limp on the floor across from her.
Ms. Gardner rushes to Carrie. “Stay with me, girl. You’re gonna be alright.”
“She…” Carrie whispered. “She saw me… saw the crown and saw how happy I was and she…” She coughs and some blood spits out with it.
Ms. Gardner, wasting no more time, dials 911 and prays that the first aid classes she took can keep her alive.
Carrie goes to touch the knife but Ms. Gardner pulls her hand away. “Don’t touch that, sweetheart. I know it don’t make no sense, but it does you better being in than out.”
Carrie nods and her hands falls to her side. She winces from the movement.
“Has your Mama…” Ms. Gardner starts but quickly cuts short.
“She loves me,” Carrie says. “She does it because she loves me.”
Ms. Gardner bites back the words she wants to say. “She don’t love you if she hurts you like this, Carrie. You don’t hurt the people you love.”
“God punishes the sinners—”
“And you ain’t no sinner.” She runs a knuckle over Carrie’s cheek. “You are good, Carrie White. You may be flawed, but you’ve done nothing to earn God’s wrath.”
“The blood,” Carrie starts, and Ms. Gardner freezes, thinking she knows about the unspilled buckets. “It’s God’s punishment for a woman’s sin.”
It clicks. “Oh, Carrie. That ain’t no punishment. That’s life. That’s… that’s a beautiful, natural thing of bein’ a woman.”
“Then why does it hurt?”
“Because that’s the way your body handles it,” she says. She realizes that her explanation of it before didn’t click in the poor girl’s head. “A woman’s body wants to make babies. But when you don’t make a baby, it has to get rid of all the stuff it prepared for it. It’s like you all dolled up for Prom. You’ve got your dress and your lipstick and your hair all done up nice, but when it’s all done, you gotta take it off. But if it were Prom everyday, you’d keep it on. Well, maybe you wouldn’t. I think that’d make your dress pretty stinky.” Carrie chuckles slightly but she stares at Ms. Gardner with wide eyes. “It don’t mean it’s a bad thing. And sometimes your uterus, that’s that thing inside your belly that holds a baby when you’re ready, it just gets ready for something that’s not coming.”
“It’s not… it’s not punishment?”
“It’s not punishment.” Ms. Gardner confirms.
“Then why did Mama punish me?”
Ms. Gardner goes silent. Because she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know how anyone could ever hurt Carrie White.
“I can’t be pregnant yet,” Carrie says, her voice small. “I’m unwed.”
Ms. Gardner brushes Carrie’s hair from her face. “Then your uterus is gonna keep throwin’ that fit and giving you your periods. That’s all it is.”
“Did you ever have a baby, Ms. Gardner?”
“No,” Ms. Gardner says, so quiet it’s barely audible. “I’ve always wanted one, though.”
“I know I’m not a baby anymore,” Carrie says, “but would you want me?”
Ms. Gardner’s eyes dart at the dead body of Carrie’s mother lying just a few feet away from her. “I’ll do whatever I can to protect you.”
“Can you protect me from myself?”
“What do you mean?”
Carrie takes a shuddering breath and holds out her hand. The candles on the table erupt into flames, floating in the air, touching wicks to create a big ball of fire. As quickly as they began to burn, they’re extinguished, falling back to their spots.
“I’m a monster.”
“Hey now,” Ms. Gardner says, voice wavering, shaken from the unexpected sight. “You ain’t no monster. You’re just… different. And there ain’t nothing wrong with bein’ different.”
“I don’t want to be different.” A tear slips down Carrie’s cheek.
“Sometimes we don’t choose what we are,” Ms. Gardner says, wiping the tear away with her thumb. “And it’s what we choose to do that matters.”
“I killed her, Ms. Gardner,” Carrie admits, breaking down into hysterical sobs. “It’s the most unforgivable sin. I’ll never get to go to Heaven.”
Ms. Gardner cradles her head into her lap. “Don’t you go worryin’ about that right now. You protected yourself. You didn’t do it out of malice or evil.”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters because of your intent. That’s what distinguishes you from being good or bad. And you’ll never be bad, Carrie. I know that.”
“Please don’t leave me.”
“I’m staying right here,” Ms. Gardner says, knowing she’s making a promise she can’t guarantee she can keep but she’ll fight for. “And we’ll figure it out together. Because what you can do? It’s not a curse. It’s a gift.”
“It doesn’t feel like a gift.”
“Not right now it don’t,” Ms. Gardner says. “But one day, maybe it will.”
And she knows that her hopeful words can’t solve everything. Carrie has a lifetime of healing from the trauma she’s endured, but Ms. Gardner will do everything in her power to be there with her every step of the way.