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“You’ll call, right?” Chan asked, playing with the strings of his hoodie as he watched Soonyoung throw the bags into his car. The older turned around and smiled with a nod as Chan pouted. “You won’t call too late like last time, right? You know my school starts before your classes..”
“Oh, relax, Channie,” Soonyoung snickered as he closed the trunk and walked up to the younger one. “I’ll call you as soon as it gets dark, okay?”
“Okay,” Chan sniffled as he pulled the hood off of his head, making strands of hair stick out. Soonyoung chuckled and fixed the pouty one’s hair before pulling him in for a hug. Chan nuzzle his face into the crook of Soonyoung’s neck, pulling the older closer. “You promise you’re going to call.”
Soonyoung nodded, rubbing Chan’s back and sighing prior to kissing his forehead. He pulled back and smiled as he caressed Chan’s cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll see you next time I come back, okay?”
Chan nodded, smiling sadly as he let go and watched Soonyoung pull out of his driveway and onto the horizon. He shook his head, grunting as he started to sniffle once again.
This was yet another out of an endless parade of their same old see-you-next-time’s. Truthfully, Chan was glad that at least it’s been a week since the last time he saw Soonyoung, but measuring days between their goodbyes was painful.
Long distance was hard, Chan and Soonyoung learned that the hard way. It’s true, at least Soonyoung was driving distance from the neighborhood he grew up in and where he first met Chan, but it was far enough for them not to see each other as they once did a few years ago.
“University studies and high school studies are two separate worlds,” Hansol, Chan’s best friend, said the year Soonyoung was to graduate. “He’s going to be very busy, he might not have time for you. Are you going to be okay with that?”
“I’ll manage,” Chan lied. “He’s only going to be three hours away anyway.” Three years away, meaning no daily hugs before and after school, no holding hands in the hallways, not even forehead kisses when walking home together.
Soonyoung experience the same agony, only he had the addition of heavy schoolwork and dance competitions along with the occasional party his older friends, Seungcheol and Jeonghan, host.
However, one thing that connected them was stargazing. They did it a lot when they were younger, even before there were feelings attached. Late at night, they would run to the big hill a mile or two away from their neighborhood and lie down in the grass. The feeling of the dew on his neck always made Chan giggle and squirm.
And just when the time was right, the stars began to appear. No light posts or street lamps blocked their view of the starry sky. They were both enchanted by the show the sky decided to put on. It was different every time, different constellations forming, different patterns appearing, and different stars dancing.
Even despite their distance, they still manage to stargaze at night together, thanks to their cellphones with each other on speed dial one.
It was something to always look forward to, especially when their free times collided and the weather permitted.
Soonyoung held the phone close to his ear, almost as if he was holding Chan’s hand. He closed his eyes lightly, face still aimed towards the nighttime sky as he listened to Chan talk about his day. Sometimes, it felt as if the miles melted away and that Chan was right next to him.
Chan did the same, of course, neither of them knew of each other’s actions. With eyes closed, arms and legs stretched in the grass, ears opened nodding and snickering at Soonyoung’s every complaint was soothing, as odd as it sounded. There were times that he swore that he felt his arms engulf him into a hug as their legs tangled. His eyes opened quickly as he stood up, but was disappointed to see only his phone in hand.
–
“Wow,” Chan gasped as he picked up his phone. “You’re earlier than usual.”
“I just finished my reading for tomorrow’s class,” Soonyoung sighed as he grabbed a nearby jacket, probably his roommates, and put his arm through the sleeve. “Finish homework?”
“Been done,” Chan snickered as he zipped up his sweater and waved to his mom as he headed to the foyer to get his shoes. He grunted as he almost tripped sliding it one, making Soonyoung chuckle, before opening the door and putting the key in his pocket.
“Why don’t you tie your shoes? They have laces for a reason…”
“It slows down my mojo!”
“What mojo?”
“Stop it!” The older laughed on the other line as he grabbed his apartment keys and locked the door behind him. “You’re lucky I like you..”
“Love you too, Channie!” Soonyoung cheekily smiled. They headed to their usual spots: Chan on the big hill where the two once laid, Soonyoung on the nearby rather smaller hill that was adjacent to the convenience store. It wasn’t the same, but the lights were dim enough to see the nightfall.
“You there yet?”
“One second.” Soonyoung flicked the nearby debris in his typical position. He leaned back, arms thrown behind his back as he sighed in content. “Sorry. Had to clean.”
“Again?” Chan asked. He shook his head as he adjusted himself to a comfier pose. “I thought they enforced littering laws there.”
“They did. That doesn’t change anything.” They both giggled.
After a few more moments, the stars began to be more visible, earning ooh’s and ahh’s from both of their lips. They’ve done this countless times, together and by themselves, but they were always awestruck by the sight.
“You know what Hansol told me the other day? There are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sands on the beaches.”
“That’s crazy!” Soonyoung exclaimed. “Ah, but that makes sense. There are a ton of stars.”
“Some of them are billions of lightyears away too, so the light we see now are from a long, long time ago!”
“Lee Chan, you’ve been hanging out with Hansol too much!” Soonyoung imagined Chan pouting, which he was, as he heard grumbling and mumbling on the other line.
“You know,” Chan coughed, “the moon seems brighter today.”
“Or the sky just darkened.”
“Maybe our eyes are just tricking us.”
Soonyoung nodded, eyebrows raising at the possibility. “Maybe we’re actually right next to each other.”
“Hyung…”
“Well, let’s say that we are hypothetically–”
“If we were, I’d hypothetically flick your forehead.”
“And I’d hypothetically frown at you as I rub my forehead before hugging you.”
Chan blushed just thinking of Soonyoung hugging him. The warmth, the feeling, and the sound of his heart practically beating out of his chest. He missed it. “When’s your next break?”
“In a month. After exams.”
“Good luck,” Chan displayed a small smile as his hands was lifted and began tracing patterns following the stars. “I know you’ll do well.”
“Well, my brain says otherwise. But thanks.” Soonyoung smiled, his hands drawing as well, writing his and Chan’s names together afterward. “I’ll drive there as soon as my last test is done though.”
“What if I’m still in school?”
“Well, you’re not going to be if I sigh you out early,” he snickered. “Channie?”
“Yeah?”
“I miss you.” His hands fell back to the earth and he brushed them along the grass, as if there were snow and he were creating snow angels.
“I miss you too,” Chan sadly smiled. “But at least I can hear your voice.”
“I’d rather you be only a heartbeat away though.” He closed his eyes and exhaled, playing with a blade of grass in between his thumb and pointer.
Chan looked back at the sky, smiling as he saw the moon and traced the circumference with his finger. “At least we’re beneath the same moon, right?”
“Well, we only have one moon,” Soonyoung replied, eyes still closed.
The younger sighed happily. “It doesn’t seem so bad though.” His hand dropped onto his chest, resting right against his heart, smiling as he felt it beat a bit faster hearing Soonyoung. “At least we can pretend that we’re together.”
“It suffices I guess,” the older shrugged. He opened his eyes, seeing the moon to his left. A full moon tonight, and a brighter one than usual. “Imagining you here isn’t the same, but it’ll do.”
Soonyoung rolled around a bit, making Chan snicker as he heard the crunch of the grass. Even if they were apart, just thinking of him made Chan’s long and lonely days just more bearable.
“Soonyoung?”
“Yes, Channie?”
“I wish it was night all the time.”
“That’s the strangest wish I’ve ever heard.” Soonyoung sat up and stretched his arms, grunting as he moved his body. “Why do you say that?”
Chan was making his way back to his house and switched his phone to the other ear. “Because I get you all to myself.”
Soonyoung paused in his step and blushed, patting his cheek as he walked. “I wish for the same thing to happen too.”
“Tomorrow night sound good?”
“Definitely,” Soonyoung smiled as he opened the door with his keys. “I’m all yours.”