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Megumi was trying to focus, he really was, but the ball of energy to his right was making that very difficult. It was snowing in Tokyo, which was making Yuuji unreasonably excited. Instead of listening to Gojo’s ramblings, he was too busy bouncing his leg and looking outside as the city became covered in soft white. Megumi was like a moth to a flame when Yuuji was like this, it was impossible to tear his eyes away from the boy. His heart clenched as he watched hope soar in his friend, he both envied and craved the naivety that he could see in his eyes.
“Fushiguro?” His teacher’s voice broke him out of his intense staring session. His ears flushed bright red as he felt everyone stare at him. “I asked you a question.”
The teasing lilt in Gojo’s voice did not help his embarrassment. “Could you repeat that?”
“I asked you how the author portrays love in this chapter.” He tapped the whiteboard. “I’m sure you know all about that.”
The other students snickered, making a pit open in Megumi’s stomach. If his stupid little crush was so obvious that even the teacher noticed, Yuuji must have noticed too. “Uh, he describes love as all consuming. He loves this person to the point it is almost painful for him, he compares it to a fire.”
“Good job Fushiguro.” He thought he saw a wink from under his dark glasses. He was going to fling himself out of the window.
When the bell rang, Yuuji wasted no time in grabbing Megumi by the wrist and dragging him out to the lockers. He didn’t even say a word, just trusted that Megumi would follow along. He was right, Megumi would follow him to the ends of the earth.
Yuuji kicked off his school shoes and started to tie his outdoor ones. “Okay so I had the best idea while Gojo was talking, but that guy has like super hearing so I was scared to tell you in class!”
“Okay?” Megumi was immediately suspicious, as many of Yuuji’s great ideas turned out to be horrible. He took time to make sure his outdoor shoes were tied perfectly and his indoor shoes were placed neatly, instead of just throwing them in his locker.
“Have you ever been ice skating?” His eyes were so wide, they almost sparkled, though behind them there seemed to be an uneasiness that he couldn’t quite place.
Megumi was already uneasy, testing his balance on ice with Yuuji probably going five billion miles per hour sounded like a disaster waiting to happen. He bit his lip and only thought of cracked skulls and blood spilled on ice. “No.”
“Turn that frown upside down!” Yuuji forced his friend to smile, the points where their skin made contact felt like it burned. “We should go! It would be fun! And then after we can get hot chocolate and go shopping for our friends!”
Megumi had almost forgotten that Christmas was just a few weeks away. Which meant he had bought nothing for his friends and family. Yuuji was practically giving him puppy dog eyes, it was sickening. “Fine, alright.”
“Yay! Let’s go!” He took Megumi’s scarf from his hands and wrapped it around his neck, thankfully hiding his bright red cheeks. If he didn’t die from slipping on the ice, he would surely die of his heart exploding.
As they walked out of the school, Yuuji practically running and Megumi desperately trying to keep up with him, they saw Nobara standing by the gates. She was huddled in on herself, protecting herself from the biting cold.
“Hey virgins.” She grinned as the two boys approached. That had been her selected nickname for Megumi since she found out his secret love for Weezer.
“Hey Nobara!” Yuuji grinned. “Megumi and I were just about to go ice skating!”
Megumi’s stomach sank. He liked Nobara, she was a good friend and Yuuji seemed to like her, but he really didn’t want her to join them on this excursion. Even though it wasn’t a date by any means.
“Cute.” She smiled. “I’m waiting for Maki, you two have fun though.”
“Oh-” Yuuji made an inexplicable expression. “Alright, have fun!”
He let out a sigh of relief, ignoring the look Nobara was giving him. She had figured out his not-so-secret crush even before he did, and she was not above teasing him. When Maki entered the picture, it was very tempting to get payback for her jokes. However, he was far above childish taunts.
“Have fun.” He nodded curtly, giving her a look. He was not above giving looks. She just stuck her tongue out at him.
They walked through the school gates as Yuuji directed them towards the inner city. The nearest rink was in Shibuya, but they were distinctly banned from a shop there due to ‘causing a disturbance’. Apparently people weren’t fans of minor vandalism for school projects. It was all Gojo’s fault.
“There’s one in Harajuku, and there’s a bunch of shopping there too.” Yuuji explained as they hopped on a train. Megumi didn’t care where they went, they could fall into the ocean and he would be happy as long as he had Yuuji by his side.
“Yeah that works for me.” He nodded and looked down at his phone. Soon enough he felt a warmth on his shoulder, Yuuji had rested his head against him. His stomach clenched, he clearly had no clue what he was doing to him. Feeling his warm breath on his cheek was sending him spiraling. He didn’t want to push him away, giving him the wrong idea, but if they stayed like this for much longer Megumi would die.
Luckily they arrived at their destination before he had the chance to explode into a million pieces. Still oblivious to his affect on the other man, Yuuji grabbed his hand and dragged him off the train. Megumi would remember the feeling of his hand on his for a thousand years, when he died they would find the imprint of his hand on his bones. It seared him deep down to his core.
“You have the angry face on.” Yuuji frowned at him as they navigated through swarms of people.
“That’s just how I look.”
“No it’s not.” Yuuji poked his cheeks, sending a burning fire to his face. “I know you smile sometimes.”
“Maybe I just don’t like you, ever considered that?” He looked over to his pink-haired friend. A blatant falsehood, but he did enjoy poking Yuuji a little.
Yuuji just laughed in response. “Oh I know you like me!”
Megumi’s stomach turned. The other boy would never know how true those words were. It was cheesy as all hell, but Yuuji was a brightness he had never felt before. The warmth he exuded was only rivaled by the sun, and looking straight at him stung Megumi’s eyes. Searing his visage into his memory forever. If he was a more romantic person, he would write a thousand poems about him. If he had the words, sonnets and songs would flow out of him, each one declaring a love more passionate than the last.
He could never tell him. It was embarrassing. Yuuji was a kind boy and he would never laugh, but the fear of his scorn was still there. He couldn’t bear losing his dearest friend.
As he was in his state of melancholic daydreaming, Yuuji had managed to find his way to a small ice rink. It honestly was very charming. Christmas was not a big holiday in Japan, but this little place seemed to have a European Christmas market vibe. All of the lights and decorations made Yuuji’s face brighten like a little kid. Though it wasn’t his vibe at all, Megumi bit back a smile at his companion’s excitement.
“Have you ever been skating before?” Yuuji asked as they approached the stall to rent skates.
Megumi bit his lip, thinking about it. “Not really, I did run onto a frozen lake when Gojo told me not to.”
He bit back laughter. “Yeah that sounds like you. I’ve been skating a couple of times, but I don’t do all that fancy stuff.”
“The fancy stuff?”
“Yeah like the twirls!” He tried to do a twirl on the ground and stumbled, Megumi quickly reached to grab his arm to keep him from falling over. When he was caught, Yuuji looked up at him and gave him that blinding smile. Megumi almost let him fall as his heart skipped a beat, he couldn’t smile like that at him. It would only lead to disaster.
“Thanks man!” He smiled, punching him lightly on the shoulder. “Since you’ve never really done it before, I think you should go with hockey skates.”
“Alright.” Megumi nodded, he had no knowledge of skating.
“Figure skates are kinda delicate.” He smiled and turned to the girl working at the rental place. “Two pairs of hockey skates please.”
The girl went to grab the skates and Yuuji took out his wallet. Megumi quickly grabbed his arm away. “No, I can do it.”
“No! Don’t worry about it ‘gumi, let me treat you.” He smiled.
His heart leapt at the nickname, nobody had ever given him a nickname. He was so caught up in his thoughts he almost forgot what he was doing. “No, it’s Gojo’s money.”
Yuuji shrugged. “Yeah sure, let’s let Gojo treat us today!”
He grabbed the two pairs of skates and brought them over to the bench so they could put them on. Yuuji tied his skates with the skill of a professional and hopped up ready to run onto the ice. He only paused when he saw Megumi sitting there, hopelessly staring at the skates.
“Oh, you don’t know how to tie those do you?” He frowned. Megumi looked down at his skates, face burning. There was no pity in his friend’s voice, simply just an observation. Even so, it still made Megumi feel a sort of shame.
“Yeah they’re kinda weird, let me give you a hand.” Yuuji smiled and knelt down in front of him. He suddenly remembered a dream he once had, some stupid dream about Yuuji going down on one knee and confessing his love for him. At such a reminder, Megumi’s mind went blank. Too overwhelmed by his own thoughts to keep functioning.
He watched Yuuji’s deft hands work at the laces and all he wanted to do was take those pale hands in his and kiss every inch. A boy like him shouldn’t have to work a day in his life, he deserved to be exalted like a god, and never forced to look down on humble commoners like him.
Megumi was getting ahead of himself, for as much as he cared for Yuuji, he was so human. He was so human that it was beautiful. All of those stumbles, messed up words, too loud of laughs, and bad days were what truly made Megumi love him.
“You look bothered by something.” Yuju frowned, startling the other boy out of his own thoughts once more.
“Oh no-” he shook his head, looking for another reason why he was so deep in thought. “I’m nervous about falling.”
Dumb excuse, but it seemed to work.
“Oh don’t worry dude!” Yuuji gave him a thumbs up. “You can hold my hand the whole time if you want!”
Megumi would actually die if he had to hold Yuuji’s hand for an extended period of time, screw falling on the ice, he would die from his heart exploding.
“Here, take my hands, I’ll help you up.” The pink-haired boy extended his hands, it would look weird if he didn’t accept his offer, so he took them. Yuuji pulled him up and helped him balance, giggling a little bit as he wobbled. “Okay we’re gonna go to the ice now, I won’t let you fall.”
Too late, he had already fallen for him. Ignoring the joke he could have made, Megumi shuffled to the ice with the help of his friend. His balance was awful, but Yuuji was a solid rock to lean on. He always was. He was the anchor in the chaos of Megumi’s life. He didn’t know what to do about this crush. It was getting out of hand. This was becoming a possibly life-ruining crush.
He knew from Gojo that love could only end terribly. He remembered sitting on the couch with his teacher as he sobbed into a pillow about his boyfriend. Gojo had explicitly told him to never fall in love. He had failed miserably.
“Okay follow my lead, I’ll pull you around for a little.” He smiled widely, eyes shining in the setting sun. He couldn’t help but think that this was a little too romantic, the lights, the sunset, everything. Megumi realized with horror that everyone on the rink was a couple. He felt sick. Was he being too obvious?
He tried to push down his feelings and focus on skating, but unfortunately he did not take to it easily. Perhaps it was because he was so close to Yuuji, but also it could have been that he was trying to balance on two thin blades. Whatever the cause was, he couldn't stop shaking.
“Okay, legs shoulder-width apart! I’m gonna let go! You can do it!” Yuuji warned before he carefully started to let go of his hands.
“Wait no-” Megumi protested weakly, not sure if he was wanting him to keep holding his hands or keep holding him up. Once the pink-haired boy had officially let go, he clung to the railing like it was his lifeline. He was determined to not fall and make himself look like an idiot in front of Yuuji. Even though Yuuji looked like an idiot most of the time.
As he clung to the side, standing like a baby deer, Yuuji looked perfectly in his element. He was right, he wasn’t a graceful skater, but his speed was something to be amazed at. Megumi watched in awe as the chilly wind whipped through his hair and he looked at the ice with the dedication of a professional. His focused expression was frankly adorable, the way his brown eyes squinted in concentration.
Megumi wanted to be like him, he wanted to be able to skate by his side and keep pace with him. He wanted to see his focused smile directed at him. So he mustered up all his courage and balance to push himself off of the railing and skate to the middle of the rink.
Yuuji noticed him and skated closer, laughing and whooping in congratulations. He wanted to capture that laugh and listen to it all the time. He could go deaf right then and he would be happy, because the last thing he would have heard would have been that beautiful laugh.
“Look at you! You’re like a professional!” Yuuji was a pink blur as he skated circles around his friend.
“No- no I’m not.” He assured his friend as he was desperately trying to stay stable, his knees were shaking and he felt like he was seconds away from falling on his face.
Yuuji grabbed him before he was able to fall, and skated calmly with him in tow. He had to admit, it felt kind of like flying. The wind was whipping through his black hair and the chilly air made his cheeks flush red. In that moment, holding hands with Yuuji, he felt like he was on the top of the world. Fuck everyone else, all he needed was right before him.
His internal peace did not last long, and like a Greek hero his downfall was his hubris. Yuuji sped up and spun them around a couple times, laughing uncontrollably, Megumi couldn’t keep in a small laugh of his own. His laugh soon turned into a shout of distress as his skate caught a small hole in the ice.
Careening towards the hard ground felt like he was in slow motion. As Megumi stared up at the cloudless sky, he wondered what would kill him first; the impact of his head on the ice or the embarrassment of eating shit in front of Yuuji. He braced himself for the impact, but it never came.
His head did hit something, but he wasn’t sure what it was. It wasn’t soft by any means, but it was definitely softer than ice. When Yuuji’s face came into view, he realized with horror he was laying with his head on his best friend’s lap.
“Are you okay?” Yuuji sounded panicked, checking his face for any signs of injury. Megumi was unharmed, but he couldn’t form coherent words in such an intimate position. In an attempt to comfort him, the pink-haired boy ran his hands through his black hair and it really wasn’t helping. It frankly was just making his thoughts less and less coherent. “Megumi? Can you hear me?”
“Oh- yes- what?” He frowned looking up at him slightly, maybe if he pretended to be concussed it would make him seem less stupid.
“How many fingers am I holding up?” Yuuji frowned, holding up two fingers.
He paused for a moment, trying to think of how concussed he should seem. To make sure that Yuuji thought he was just injured and not swooning he decided to overshoot it. “Seventeen.”
“What?”
Too far. “Two.”
Megumi pulled himself up into a sitting position on the cold ice, even though he didn’t hit his head, the rest of his body was in quite a bit of pain. When he looked over to Yuuji, he was surprised to see the boy’s eyes filling with tears. “Hey- what’s wrong?”
“I- I really fucked this up didn’t I?” The pink haired boy tried to smile, but it was just wobbly and unstable.
“What? No, you didn’t fuck anything up, what are you talking about?” Megumi scooted closer to his friend, raising a gloved hand slowly. He didn’t know if he was allowed to touch him.
“I should have picked something else for us to do, I was only thinking about myself, and then I got you hurt.” Yuuji explained helplessly.
“Hey, I’m not hurt, my ass is a bit sore- but that’s all.” He shrugged, trying to console his friend. Eventually he decided that a comforting hand on the arm wasn’t giving away his true thoughts.
“This is the worst first date ever.” Yuuji laughed lightly, like he didn’t just send Megumi’s world crashing down.
All he could hear was the rush of blood between his ears, surely he had actually hit his head and was hallucinating. Surely Yuuji hadn’t just called this a date, right? “Yuuji, what did you just say?”
“...That this is the worst first date ever?” He said hesitantly, moving his arm away from his grip. “Did I misunderstand the situation?”
Megumi could barely talk. His brain was unable to form coherent words, this was a date the entire time? And he didn’t know? “No- I think I misunderstood the situation.”
Yuuji bit his lip nervously, looking around at their surroundings. People were staring at them, it was quite a strange sight as they were both sitting in the center of the rink, blushing furiously. “How about we go inside and… talk?”
“Yeah- I think that would be… good.” Megumi nodded, still in a state of shock. Maybe he had died when he hit his head.
Yuuji helped him up and held him tight as they skated to the exit, scared he would fall again if he let go. Silently they untied their skates and returned them, too awkward to even make eye contact.
The coffee shop next to the rink was nice and small. Smooth jazz accompanied the earthy smell of coffee and the lamplight made everything feel warm. The boys sat down at a table for two by the window, tapping their fingers and bouncing their legs awkwardly. They needed to talk, but neither boy knew how to start.
Suddenly, Yuuji stood up. “You know- I’ll grab us something to drink! What do you want?”
Megumi knew that he was just trying to postpone their eventual discussion, but he didn’t want to talk either. “Hot chocolate please.”
A few minutes later, Yuuji came back to the table with two big mugs of hot chocolate. He slid one across the table and started to drink the other one, a little whipped cream got on his nose, making him look adorable.
“So-” Yuuji wiped the cream off his nose. “What did you think this was?”
That was a great question actually, what did Megumi think they were doing? Taking someone out ice skating and to a cafe afterwards around Christmas wasn’t the most platonic thing that happened in Japan.
“I- I guess I thought you just wanted to hang out- as friends.” Megumi looked into the swirling mass of whipped cream and wished he could disappear into it forever. “You never actually said it was a date.”
The pink haired boy frowned. “Did I not?”
“No?”
“Oh, that explains a lot.” He nodded thoughtfully.
Megumi still could not fathom that Yuuji had meant to ask him out on a date, him. Nobody else. Him. Yuuji wanted to ask him out on a date, that meant Yuuji probably liked him. That meant Yuuji probably liked him. Yuuji probably liked him. He was going to explode.
“This is really awkward.” He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. Megumi couldn’t do anything but nod in acknowledgement. “So-”
“So?” Megumi’s voice was quiet and shaky, betraying his cool exterior.
“So if I did ask you on a date, would you have said- yes?” Their eyes quickly met and then returned to their extremely interesting mugs.
“Yeah- probably.” Megumi tried desperately to keep cool, it was taking every little bit of self control he had to not leap across the table and kiss him.
“Probably?” Yuuji sounded absolutely distraught, when Megumi looked up, the other boy’s expression was one he hadn’t ever seen. Something so sad.
“No- no- Yuuji-” Megumi tried to explain himself.
“No?” His voice was even more distraught.
“No! Not no!” He shook his head violently, reaching across the table to take his friend’s(?) hands. “Calm down, let me explain- please.”
Yuuji nodded, looking at their intertwined hands. “Okay, go ahead.”
It was the time, the time to lay it all down. Yuuji wanted to ask him on a date, so he had nothing to worry about. This was a mutual feeling. “Of course I would have said yes if you asked me out, I had- well I do have- a crush- fuck it- I like you Yuuji. A lot.”
The other boy’s eyes were like stars, big and bright. His smile was almost splitting his face in two “You like me?”
“Yes, I have, for a very long time.” Megumi looked back down at their intertwined hands, if he looked at Yuuji for too long he would go blind from how bright he was.
“That’s- that’s awesome!” He leapt up, causing the other patrons of the cafe to stare at him. “I’ve liked you for a very long time too! But I never thought I had a chance, ‘cause you’re so cool and stuff!”
The dark haired boy looked back up at him, a rare smile creeping onto his face. “You think I’m cool?”
“Megumi, I think you’re so cool.” He hadn’t heard Yuuji’s voice sound like that ever before, so quiet and genuine like it was a secret between just the two of them.
“I think you’re really cool too.” He admitted, his cheeks turning a bright red.
The rest of the date was absolutely magical. They finished their hot chocolates and went onto the street, it was nighttime but the street was lit up with holiday lights. A chill crept into both of them, but they held each other’s hands to keep warm. The boys shopped for stupid gifts for their friends, crying from laughter at some of them. Both of their cheeks were flushed from the cold, laughing, and just being in each other’s presence. It was perfect. Neither of them had ever been that happy before.
When it was time to go home, Yuuji walked Megumi back to his and Gojo’s house. As they stood by the gate saying goodbye, a soft snow started to fall.
“You’ve got something in your hair.” Yuuji smiled as brushed some snow out of his friend’s(?) dark locks. His hair was just as soft as he had imagined.
Megumi laughed and tried to swat his hands away as his heart felt like it was about to burst. “You make me smile.”
“Hey, you make me smile.” Yuuji put his hands back in his pockets. They both stood awkwardly by the gate for a moment. “So- I wanna ask you a question and you don’t have to say yes.”
Megumi didn’t even wait to hear the question, he grabbed Yuuji by his coat and pulled him into a kiss. For a first kiss it was okay, both of their lips were cold and they didn’t exactly know what to do about their noses, but they were happy and that’s what mattered most.
Yuuji couldn’t stop laughing as he pulled away. “That wasn’t what I was gonna ask.”
“Oh- I’m really sorry.” His face was somehow a brighter red than it ever had been, making it a world record day for blushing.
“No no! Don’t be sorry! That was going to be my next question!” Yuuji waved his hands trying to calm him down. “I was going to ask if you wanted to be my boyfriend.
Megumi felt the last of his soul leave his body when Yuuji said the word ‘boyfriend’. He wanted to be boyfriends, he wanted to date. Honestly he shouldn’t be that surprised after the whole day, but still it had him losing his mind.
“You’re taking a little bit too long to respond.” Yuuji laughed nervously.
“No!” Megumi snapped out of his haze. “No, not no, yes, I mean yes.”
Yuuji smiled again and stepped a little closer to him. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were cool.”
“Are you rethinking your decision?”
“Not at all.” He laughed and kissed him again.