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Lunch rush was always such a pain in the ass for Changbin. He loved people but sometimes it was just too much even for him. Today was even more exhausting than normal, the week leading up to Christmas was always chaotic but it provided the best revenue for his business so he kept the café open all the way up until Christmas Eve. His workers didn’t mind doing the hours if it meant more pay and Changbin never had any family obligations except for Christmas Day itself so there was never any issue about keeping the place operating at normal hours.
Changbin was so glad when things started to calm down after the mid day lunch rush and people were starting to clear out of the café. It gave him a chance to slow down and rest his aching feet for a moment. He tried so hard not to look at the clock, knowing they were still hours from closing time and that looking at the clock will only make time go by slower. He loved his job, he really did otherwise he wouldn’t have become the owner of a café, but some days made him question whether it was worth it.
Changbin groaned and leaned on the bench with his head hanging low, his lower back aching more than his feet as he tried to lazily stretch. “Whoever thought working in hospitality was a good idea is fucking stupid.”
“You’re telling me.” Minho complained as he cleaned the espresso machine. “If I have to hear one more ridiculous coffee order I’m quitting.”
Changbin rolled his eyes and glanced back over his shoulder at Minho. “I want a tall cappuccino, triple shot with oat milk but hold the froth. Oh and if you could put extra sprinkles of chocolate on top that would be awesome.”
Minho death glared him. “I know where you sleep at night.”
Changbin snorted as he laughed. “Is that really any way to speak to your boss?” Changbin asked, standing up straight again and trying to stretch out his back resulting in his lower back letting out a satisfying crack. Changbin felt relief as the small pressure build up was momentarily settled enough to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling he had earlier.
“You won’t fire me, I’m your best worker.” Minho reminded him.
Changbin scrunched up his face in disagreement. “Shouldn’t you be training Jisung to make those ridiculous drink orders or something?”
“Actually Mr Know It All; Chan is his best worker.” They both looked to see Seungmin, a regular customer and the love of Chan’s life, come up to the counter with dishes in his hands.
Minho groaned and rolled his eyes. “I called myself Lee Know in third person ONE TIME!” Seungmin and Changbin just laughed at him and Minho stormed away to find Jisung.
“Minnie, you really need to stop bringing dishes up here. I'm gonna have to start paying you if you keep it up.” Changbin whined as he finally saw the dirty dishes that were placed on the counter.
Seungmin shrugged. “The table was on my way, I thought I’d help out… Just make sure Hyunjin or Jisung remember to wipe it down.”
“That’s your excuse every time…” Changbin looked around until he spotted Hyunjin wiping down their cold drink preparation bench. “Hyunjin, please go wipe down the tables later.”
“Yes sir.” Hyunjin commented without stopping his task.
Changbin looked back to Seungmin. “Why don’t you take these to the kitchen and go see your husband, after the dishes he’s due for a break.”
Seungmin grinned but before he could leave with the stack of dishes the sound of the door opening caught both of their attentions. Standing in the doorway robed head to toe in the warmest and the most festive looking outfit Changbin had ever seen, was the most beautiful man he had been dying to see again.
“Holy crap.” Changbin mumbled under his breath. “He’s actually here…”
Changbin watched in fascination as Felix shook off the snow, his luscious blonde hair swaying about as he did so. He wheeled a suitcase behind him and moved out of the doorway to let other customers leave.
“Ah Jikseu!” Hyunjin screeched from his side of the café making some of the customers look up as Hyunjin left the service area and bolted across the room, dodging tables, just to pull the younger male into his arms.
Changbin sighed as he felt his heart drop seeing those two embrace. He momentarily forgot Seungmin was standing on the other side of the counter, now watching him curiously.
“Who is that?” Seungmin questioned.
Changbin hummed. Seungmin had become part of their friendship group almost three years ago but Felix had been gone long before then and Changbin sometimes forgot that. “Between me and you… He’s the one who got away…” Changbin muttered and Seungmin’s eyes widened.
“Do the others know that?” Seungmin asked, a devious look on his face like he was ready to tease him at any moment.
Changbin shook his head. “No, so please don’t tell… I’m begging you Minnie.”
Seungmin observed him for a moment then nodded. “Your secret’s safe with me.”
Hyunjin and Felix approached the counter, Felix wheeling his suitcase and Hyunjin bouncing hyperactively as they made their way over. Changbin took the chance to admire Felix’s red and green Christmas tree sweater that was underneath a white padded jacket and a cozy looking infinity scarf. Changbin wanted to chuckle to himself, he knew it was cold outside because of the snow but he didn’t know it was almost four layers kind of cold, then again Felix was from a city that never snowed and was generally boiling hot this time of year.
“Well well, the star returns just in time to sit upon the tree.” Changbin joked as Felix stood between Seungmin and Hyunjin.
Felix’s face brightened with a smile and Changbin’s heart stuttered as he let out a small chuckle at Changbin’s lame joke. Changbin could feel Seungmin’s eyes watching both of them but he was too lost in Felix’s smile to care.
“What can I say? Santa ordered me to come, he said you put me on your Christmas Wish list, how could I not grant that wish?” Felix blatantly flirted, causing Changbin to blush.
Changbin bit his lip and looked down at the bench, fidgeting aimlessly with his fingers. “It’s good to have you home, Yongbok.”
“Hi, I’m Seungmin, we haven’t officially met.” Seungmin interrupted the moment and held out his hand.
Felix blinked rapidly then shook Seungmin’s hand. “Right, you’re Channie’s husband. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding, my flight was delayed due to weather conditions and the flight from America to home is so long I would have missed it even if I caught a later flight… Hannah facetimed me though so I at least got to see part of the ceremony.”
“Oh, are you close with the family?” Seungmin asked curiously.
Felix nodded. “My older sister went to school with Channie and he spent so much time at my house that we practically became brothers. My work keeps me busy though so I haven’t had a chance to visit in the past three years.. Maybe longer.”
“Being a celebrity pastry chef would do that. Speaking of, how was New York?” Changbin commented.
Felix groaned. “Expensive as hell! I thought Sydney was bad but it didn’t even compare to New York pricing.”
“Are you just here for a holiday?” Hyunjin asked curiously.
“Yes… Well no. I’m staying for a while so that I can house hunt in person but who knows if I’ll find anything.”
Changbin looked up in surprise. “You’re moving back?”
Felix spared him a glance. “Yes, well, I don’t think my business partner selling my company out from under me was on my bingo list for this year but here I am, ready to start anew. All my friends are here so I should be here too.” Felix said lightheartedly but Changbin could see in his eyes that it cut deep.
“Do you have somewhere to stay during your visit?” Hyunjin asked.
“I’m staying at the Four Seasons.” Felix answered.
“Stay at mine, don’t waste your money.” Changbin offered before Hyunjin could and Hyunjin looked deflated especially when Felix agreed.
Felix pointedly ignored the sad look Hyunjin was giving him, only focusing on Changbin. “That would be lovely. We can catch up just like old times.”
“Yeah.” Changbin agreed with a smile and a soft sigh.
“Anyone special in your life?” Changbin asked as they walked down the snow covered street after the café closed. Changbin wheeled Felix’s suitcase behind him and held a freshly made coffee in the other hand.
Felix smiled and held his coffee cup up close to his face for warmth and to take in the sweet smell of hot chocolate mixed with caffeine. “There is.” Felix said softly, a look of love that broke Changbin’s heart plastered on his face. “He just doesn’t seem to know that he is special.”
Changbin shouldn’t have asked, he shouldn’t have put himself in this situation when he knew it would hurt to learn this information.
Changbin almost drowned himself in his self pity thoughts until Felix let out a gasp. “Hyung, look at that!” The excitement dripped from Felix’s voice and Changbin looked in the direction that Felix had started pointing.
Changbin wasn’t expecting to see reindeer in the middle of the shopping complex that they were approaching but there they were. A closed off pen with signs in front of it and what looked to be human sized elves helping children feed the animals from a safe distance.
Changbin blinked rapidly as his brain tried to process the fact that reindeer were real and not just made up creatures.
“Oh Hyung,” Felix cooed excitedly. “I’m normally against these sorts of things but can we please go feed them? I’ve never seen one in real life before.” Felix pleaded.
“Uh sure?” Changbin answered, wanting to give Felix everything he wanted but was hesitant about the idea of interacting with an animal.
Felix grinned and linked his arm around Changbin’s, pulling him and the suitcase over to the reindeer’s pen. Felix watched as a reindeer came over to the fence line and Changbin stared in amazement. It was huge and Changbin was somewhat terrified.
Felix and Changbin let out a hearty laugh as the reindeer stuck its tongue out derpily. One of the elf workers approached them holding a bucket of different types of grass.
“Would you like to feed it? This one’s name is Custard.” The worker said.
Changbin nodded, let go of the suitcase handle and got his wallet out of his pocket. “How much? And is it okay to pet it?” He just knew Felix would want to.
Changbin paid when the elf told him the price. She handed over some of the grass to Felix who had passed his coffee to Changbin. She then left them alone and Changbin watched as Felix held out the grass strands.
“Hi Custard.” Felix spoke softly as he fed him and reached out to pet his snout gently. “That’s a good deer, eat to your heart's content. You’re so beautiful, I hope they feed you well.”
Changbin felt like the embodiment of the heart eye emoji as he watched Felix feeding that reindeer. Nothing could have prepared his heart to see how kind natured this beautiful man was, if Changbin hadn’t already recognised his feelings before he definitely recognised them now. This minor interaction warmed Changbin’s heart in a way he couldn’t describe but of course the touching moment was ruined by the reindeer sneezing in Felix’s face.
Changbin let out a boisterous laugh as Felix wiped his face with the back of his sleeve. “Gross.” Felix whined.
“Just be glad you weren’t still holding your mocha.”
Felix laughed. “Yeah, good point.”
Felix finished feeding the reindeer and then wiped his face with the back of his sleeve before taking his drink back from Changbin. “Ready to go home Hyung?”
Picturing what it would be like to live with Felix wasn’t hard to imagine. They had lived together before so he knew what it was like but he still dreamed of it often. He always imagined that if they lived together as a couple it would involve so much kissing… Cuddling is always a guarantee since it’s Felix but kissing would definitely be another factor to include… What he wouldn’t give to be able to kiss the sweetest man who ever lived.
“Changbin Hyung?”
“Huh?” Changbin was pulled from his fantasy of tender domestic kisses with Felix. A small blush made its way onto his face when he noticed Felix observing him curiously.
“I know I’m pretty but you really gotta stop staring so much.” Felix teased with a smirk on his face making Changbin blush even harder.
“I- That’s not what I was doing.” Changbin groaned.
Felix pouted. “So you don’t think I’m pretty?”
Changbin rolled his eyes. “Don’t be stupid, you know I think you’re pretty.”
Felix grinned and chuckled. “I know, I just wanted you to admit it.”
“You’re such a gremlin sometimes.”
Felix poked his tongue out cheekily. Changbin finished off his own drink before going to toss it out in the closest bin, when he came back he switched the suitcase to his opposite hand so he could throw his arm around Felix’s shoulder.
“Let’s get you home.” Changbin told him.
Felix nuzzled into his side and they made their way to the car park.
Things with Felix were always easy. He was never sure why but it always felt easy. Felix being in his apartment making himself at home, acting as domestic as possible, it was almost like he had never left. Almost as if Felix’s decision to run a bakery in New York for four years hadn’t torn them apart and ruined any chance Changbin had of confessing his feelings to the man he loved.
Changbin could pretend that never happened because every time he saw Felix’s face, especially in the mornings over the next few days, he was reminded of how much Felix meant to him. He remembered the feeling of excitement he gets every time he sees that beautiful smile and how reminiscent it was of a child opening presents on Christmas day. Changbin wasn’t the biggest Christmas fan but he remembered that feeling and it was something he wanted in his life every day, what he wouldn’t give to have Felix in his life permanently.
He did know though that no matter how far apart they are, talking or not, Felix would always be in his heart. Felix owned his heart completely and now like a Christmas miracle he was here once again, Changbin just prayed he won’t fuck it up this time.
“I’m glad you’re home. We’ve all missed you.” Changbin announced as he came into his living room carrying the hot cocoa he had made for both of them.
Felix clad in warm flannel pyjamas gratefully took the mug and then brought his knees up to his chest. Despite being in warm pyjamas and sitting in front of a fireplace Felix was freezing his ass off, so Changbin was doing his best to warm him up.
Changbin set his own mug down on the end table next to the armrest of the couch then fetched a blanket from the blanket basket in the back corner of the room. “I’m sorry that your business partner turned out to be an asshole…”
Changbin sat down beside Felix and placed the blanket over both of them before picking his drink back up to take a sip of the chocolatey goodness.
“I think I was in over my head by going to New York.” Felix said nonchalantly.
Changbin furrowed his eyebrows together. “What do you mean?”
Felix hummed and stared at his hot chocolate, rubbing the side of the mug to warm his hand. “I mean I feel like I lost myself while I was over there… Having my business ripped out from under me was kind of like a wake up call. A desperately needed wake up call.”
Changbin set his drink back down on the table and then turned awkwardly to face Felix, trying to set his feelings aside so that he could be helpful in this conversation. “Yongbok-Ah, you worked so hard for your career and going over there was just the next step. It may not have worked out but it was still a life experience you needed to go through in order to have the success which you achieved before it was taken away.”
Felix sighed, still staring at the mug. “What’s the point in trying to reach success if I don’t have the people I want to share that success with around me?”
Changbin quirked his eyebrow curiously. “Huh?”
Felix’s mouth twitched as he tried to work out what to say and Changbin heavily focused on the lolly colored lips. “It’s nothing, don't worry about it…”
Changbin frowned, he didn’t understand why Felix was closing up defensively, he never did that. “I know this might not be my place considering I don’t know what you’re referring to… But there’s a job at the café for you if you want to start simple again.”
Felix looked up at him, a sparkle gleaming in his eye and Changbin knew he had said the right thing for once. “You’d really let me come work with you all?”
Changbin’s mouth curled up into a half smile. “Are you kidding me? Hyunjin would be thrilled to have you on the team.”
“Oh. Right… Hyunjin.” Felix said, nodding, something about his tone not adding up in Changbin’s brain but not enough for him to question it.
Changbin paused for a moment and bit his lower lip anxiously. “I’d be glad to have you there too…”
When Changbin sat back against the couch with an embarrassed groan Felix just grinned and nuzzled against him trying his best not to spill the hot chocolate in his hands. Changbin smiled softly and put his arm around Felix’s shoulder so that they could snuggle together properly.
He has to try his best to keep Felix around this time.
“Good morning sunshine!” Felix exclaimed happily as Changbin groggily made his way out of the bedroom the next morning.
Changbin scrunched up his face in disgust. “Why are you up so early? And so chipper?”
“I made you something.” Felix announced and came over to him.
Changbin watched sleepily as Felix grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen. He wasn’t expecting to see his kitchen island littered with beautifully decorated assortments of sweets and pastries.
“What the…” Changbin mumbled and looked to Felix for answers.
“Oh those are for work… I can start today right?” Felix said but before Changbin could answer Felix let go of his hand and went to fetch something. “This one is yours.”
Changbin held out his hands and Felix placed a small cellophane bundle full of handmade Christmas cookies in his hand. Changbin pursed his lips and looked down at it, admiring the packaging since Felix had used tinsel to tie it together. It had been so long since Changbin had Felix’s baking, his mouth was almost watering at the thought of this whole bag belonging to him.
“Baking is my love language…” Felix explained. “Consider it a thank you, like thank you for giving me the job and thank you for letting me stay with you and thank you for letting me spend Christmas with you this year even though you didn’t have to do any of this for me.”
Changbin couldn’t think straight. It was second nature for him to do everything in his power to make Felix happy, to do anything that would keep Felix in his presence at all times and he wanted to be honest about that but he didn’t know how. “I never wanted you to leave.” He blurted out.
Felix seemed to be stupefied by that. “What?”
Changbin felt frozen in place, so frozen in fact that you might as well call him Jack Frost.
He wanted to tell Felix everything. He wanted to tell him that from the first time he met him that they had something special between them. He wanted to tell him about how whenever he was around him that his knees go weak and his smile fuels an uncontrollable fire in his heart. He wanted to tell Felix that he wanted to support him in all walks of life and that he never wanted to stand in the way of his dreams even if it meant losing him. He wanted to tell Felix that his radiance was like the sun and that his warmth could melt the snow outside and that like the sun he just couldn’t live without it; that he couldn’t live without him.
Most importantly, Changbin wanted to tell Felix that he loved him; but none of this came out.
Instead, he stood there rocking on the balls of his bare feet, staring down at the cookies in his hand. “I’m just glad you’re back…”
Changbin couldn’t even look him in the eye. It was such a cowardly way out and he couldn’t forgive himself. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just say what was in his heart.
“I’m going to go shower and get ready for work… I don’t have a spare uniform that will fit you so maybe just wear something Christmassy.” Changbin said and placed the bag on the counter, he was much more awake now. “I’ll be back to help you to put this all in the car when I’m done.”
Changbin took at least half an hour to shower and that’s mainly because he just stood under the water scolding himself for not telling Felix how he felt. He helped Felix put all the baked goods in the car and then took a look at the cookies that were especially made for him.
He giggled to himself as he read the icing notes on the cookies. There were pictures of dumbbells and kettlebells covered in tinsel which Changbin worked out was a sort of play on jingle bells. Others had written messages a lot like the valentine cookies except in Christmas fonts and colors, his favorite by far though was the one with the Christmas pun on it that said; “You’re elf-ly cute” instead of “You’re awfully cute”.
“Well look at you looking all snazzy in your three piece suit.” Felix commented with a flirty smile as Seungmin approached the counter, coming in early to beat the morning rush.
“Are you sure you don’t just want a job here? You wouldn’t have to play dress ups… Unless I made you the cafe mascot.” Changbin teased.
Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Hyung, I’ll have you know that I quite enjoy my job even if my boss is going to have my ass if I’m not in the office in fifteen minutes.”
“Just become a managing partner and your problems will be all solved.” Changbin said with a shrug.
A flat white in a takeaway coffee cup was set down on the counter in front of Changbin along with two freshly toasted bagels. “Thank you for always having the most normal order of the day.” Minho spoke as Changbin keyed the price into the register.
Seungmin paywaved the money then took his coffee and breakfast. “You are most welcome, Hyung.” Seungmin grinned then took a sip of his coffee. “Mmm, perfect as always. Okay I have to love you and leave you, I’m working on a class action lawsuit so I really can’t afford to be late. I’ll text the group chat if I’m still able to make it tonight. Not sure what time I’ll be wrapping up my work day yet.”
“Tonight?” Changbin raised an eyebrow but he got no answer from Seungmin about it.
“Tell Chan that I love him and I’ll be back during my lunch break.” Seungmin said in a rush before leaving.
“Bye Seungmin!” Felix called out then turned to Changbin and Minho. “Chan married a lawyer?”
Minho nodded and moved to the back counter to wipe down the coffee machine. “Chan said he practically drooled the first time he saw Seungmin in court while he was on jury duty.”
“Guys.” Changbin interrupted.
They both turned to look at him and spoke in unison. “What?”
“What did Seungmin mean about tonight? Also when did Felix get added to the group chat?”
Felix frowned. “I never got deleted from it?”
Color drained from Changbin’s face and he suddenly felt nauseous as he thought about all the times he texted the group about missing Felix. He also thought about all the depressed gifs he had sent whenever he thought about him, which was almost every second day at this point.
“How much of it do you read?” Changbin asked faintly.
Felix smirked. “Enough to know that you missed me as much as I missed you.”
“Ew don’t start getting all lovey dovey in front of me. It’s way too early for this.” Minho complained and walked away from them completely.
Changbin and Felix laughed between themselves but their moment of happiness was ruined by the sound of the door with the first batch of breakfast consumers.
“Time to look alive Lix.” Changbin groaned then plastered a fake customer service smile on his face.
Changbin couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen later since he hadn’t checked the group chat at all since yesterday morning. He didn’t get to dwell on it for long considering they were suddenly up to their ears in customers. Changbin had never seen Minho so stressed before; orders for regulars were fine, Jisung helping by his side made it go smoothly but there seemed to be an influx of new customers and it stressed Minho to the point that he kicked Jisung off the coffee machine so he could do all the current orders himself.
Jisung didn’t take any offense from it, he simply moved to bus tables. Changbin made the assumption that the new customers were due to the promotional post about Felix working in his café that he and Felix had curated and posted on the business’ Facebook page last night.
Customer after customer and the occasional small talk filled the entire morning. Changbin made the elective decision to man the register throughout the whole ordeal. Minho was knee deep in coffee, Hyunjin and Jisung wore holes into the anti-slip mats with the amount of times they walked back and forth from the tables to the kitchen or to behind the counter. Felix stuck by Changbin’s side, a genuine smile pasted on his face as he handed customers their Christmas baked goods.
Changbin was leaning back against the back counter during his short break, shoveling his personalized cookies into his mouth. They had somehow survived both the morning rush and the lunch rush and were now in graceful period when customers were starting to clear out.
“So does anyone want to tell me what is happening later or-?” Changbin commented.
“We’re going to go take photos with Santa as a group.” Jisung said excitedly.
Changbin raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because it’s Felix’s first Christmas back with us and our first Christmas as a full family.” Jisung shrugged. “If he leaves again at least we’ll have a photo of all of us together.”
Changbin twirled a cookie between his fingers and looked down as he did so. He could hear Minho at the register serving customers. Felix was currently in the kitchen helping out by doing the dishes since everything he had baked this morning sold out.
“If he leaves again…” Changbin mumbles to himself.
Changbin could feel Jisung’s eyes boring into him and he unintentionally crushed the cookie in his hand when thoughts of Felix leaving again hit him. He didn’t know if he could go through that again. He would just have to abandon his café and follow Felix to the ends of the earth, wherever it was that he was going to disappear to this time.
“I know you’re the boss and everything but can you not make a mess? It makes my job more annoying.” Jisung whined as he watched the crumbs fall to the ground he was due to sweep when every customer had left.
Changbin hummed and pushed himself up from the edge of the counter. “Right, sorry. I’m going to go help with the dishes.”
Changbin threw the rest of the crumbs in the bin and left his bag on the counter for later before going to collect dishes from tables. He took the dishes to the kitchen, passing Chan and Jeongin who were packing up their food prep stations, then into the back where the sink and dishwasher was.
Felix glanced back over his shoulder when he heard Changbin approach. “Oh Changbin-Ah thank god you’re here. Can you please move the hair out of my face and roll my sleeves up?”
Changbin nodded and came over to dump the dishes in the sink before rolling up Felix’s sleeves for him. Felix stared at Changbin wide eyed when Changbin pulled the hair tie out of his hair. He ran his fingers through Felix’s freshly washed hair softly trying to gather all of it into a ponytail whilst simultaneously fighting the urge to admire Felix’s face.
Changbin tied Felix’s hair into a high ponytail then realized he missed a strand of Felix’s fringe so he tucked it behind Felix’s ear, making the mistake of looking directly into Felix’s eyes as he did so. He froze on the spot, no matter how casual they were as friends, moments like this always made his heart race like crazy.
“Oh god, can you two not be gay for like five minutes?” Minho’s voice cut through the tension.
Chan peaked his head into the room just as Minho pushed through and broke them apart. “Minho leave them alone, they’re in love, how would you feel if they did that to you and Jisung every time you guys had a moment.”
“Wait, I’m not~ We’re not~” Changbin blushed furiously. “Excuse me while I go find somewhere to die.”
Changbin saw Felix glare at Chan before he started to bolt from the room completely unable to handle this situation right now. “Good job Channie Hyung, you scared him off. Real subtle.” Changbin heard Felix complain as he was leaving.
Jeongin was snickering to himself in the other room as Changbin dashed past. Changbin hid in the supply closet where Jisung was currently filling up a bucket with floor cleaner.
“Hyung?” Jisung asked in surprise as Changbin came in and crouched against the wall. “Are you okay?”
Changbin shook his head. “I’m going insane…”
“More than usual?” Jisung raised his eyebrow and turned off the tap.
Changbin simply nodded without another word. Jisung hummed and took the mop bucket out of the room so that Changbin could hide in peace.
Organizing group photos was never easy for them as they always fought over who got to stand next to who. Changbin didn’t normally care who he stood next to, typically it would be Chan or Jisung, but this time he actually wanted to stand next to someone and quite badly too.
Unfortunately for him he wasn’t the only one vying for the spot next to Felix. Hyunjin wanted it too, even Jeongin looked like he was ready to throw down just to stand next to the older male.
Felix laughed as Hyunjin and Jeongin dramatically argued over who would get the spot whilst Changbin stood helplessly staring. Felix came over to him and linked his arms through his.
“Would you like to be my photo buddy? I don’t think they will ever resolve that fight on their own.” Felix said with a giggle.
Changbin let out a breathy laugh. “I’d be honored to be your photo buddy, Bokkie.”
It inevitably ended up with Chan and Seungmin together off to the left with Chan curled like a koala around his husband, Minho and Jeongin kneeling in front of the husbands posing ridiculously but enjoying themselves. Santa was in the middle with Jisung sitting on his lap, one arm around his neck and the biggest grin on his face. Hyunjin leaning against Santa’s golden chair smiling whilst somehow looking disgusted at the same time. Changbin always admired his ability to make disgusted faces, they were always hilarious but this was a whole new talent unlocked.
Felix and Changbin stood to Santa’s right, awkwardly at first but then Felix reached up and fixed Changbin’s hair forcing Changbin to look at him and stare in amazement at how beautiful he was up close. Felix’s visuals always took Changbin’s breath away, that mixed with Felix’s current tender look had Changbin on the brink of death from lack of oxygen to the brain.
“Smile real pretty for the camera, Hyung. I want to keep this photo forever so I can always remember this moment.” Felix whispered to him softly.
Changbin was confused as to what Felix meant by that but he soon found out as the photographer asked if they were ready. Changbin quickly put his arm around Felix’s shoulder holding him close and smiling shyly for the camera but the smile became brighter before the photo was taken because Felix casually leaned in and kissed Changbin’s cheek as his way of posing for the photo.
Changbin’s heart was currently doing backflips or something inside of his chest, kicking so hard against his ribcage; trying to escape and jump into Felix’s hand like that cute animation video he had seen on YouTube.
Changbin turned his head to stare incredulously at Felix who looked at him fondly and smiling shyly. Changbin had once heard a quote in a movie, something about how “You only need twenty seconds of embarrassing courage and something great will come of it.”. The movie had been in English so he hadn’t really understood at the time but now with Felix staring at him almost expectantly but slightly nervous he thought he finally understood the quote.
All he needed was twenty seconds of courage; so he took a deep breath and began to mentally count.
‘ 1… Was this a bad idea?’
‘2… Felix has such pretty eyes.’
‘3… I’m not worthy of someone as amazing as him…’
‘4… Dammit Changbin don’t think like that, Felix will make you feel like you’re worthy if he accepts you.’
‘5… ‘
He’s brain blanked at five when he realized he was already at five out of twenty and he hadn’t even moved yet. He began to panic when he came to the conclusion that just staring at each other would look so weird to all the others if they were watching. He forgot that five seconds wasn’t actually that long but he felt so lost in Felix’s pretty eyes that it felt like a lifetime.
Changbin slowly lifted his hand, trying to ignore the idea of the others watching them and lived in the moment. His hand found its place on Felix’s cheek, caressing it gently.
‘6… Such pretty freckles.’
He rubbed his thumb gently over the cluster of freckles on Felix’s cheek.
“So pretty…” Changbin muttered aloud, not realizing he had.
A blush spread over Felix’s face.
‘7… Come on Changbin, just kiss him!’
‘8… Maybe I shouldn’t… What if he rejects it?’
‘9… This was a stupid idea, I don’t actually have the courage to kiss him…’
‘10… So tell him you love him.’
‘11… Tell him you don’t want him to leave you again.’
‘12. Just tell him something… anything!’
“Hurry up, you're holding up the line!” Someone in the photo line complained loudly.
“We paid for three photos so just wait your turn sir.” Chan called back politely. “Don’t interrupt true love.”
Changbin almost blacked out at the idea of Chan calling this true love but even more so because he now knew people were watching them and that made him even more nervous.
“Hey…” Felix said, trying to get his attention.
Changbin focused back on him and he saw Felix bite his lower lip trying to hint that this is what he wanted.
‘13… You can do this.’
‘14… Why can’t Felix do it? It would be easier if Felix took the lead… If Felix really wanted to kiss Changbin he would just do it, he’s always been confident at taking what he wants…’
‘15… That isn’t fair on Felix, man up Changbin, it’s your turn to take the lead.’
‘16… If you get to twenty without doing anything, consider your chance to have Felix completely gone.’
Changbin still hadn’t moved, he stood frozen just stroking Felix’s freckles. He couldn’t hear the faint click of the camera and that there was talking and carols being played over the radio but everything sounded muffled as his entire body filled with nerves. He couldn’t even read Felix’s expression, that's how anxious he was about this. He closed his eyes trying to compose himself.
‘17… Don’t keep him waiting! He’s too beautiful to wait on you.’
The frustration within himself started to mix with the nerves.
‘18… SEO CHANGBIN FOR FUCKS SAKES JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY! LITERALLY ANYTHING WILL DO AT THIS POINT!’
‘19… YOU’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!’
“Changbin-Ah~” Felix whispered sweetly with his deep voice and that’s all Changbin needed to break out of his stupor.
He used his spare hand to grip Felix’s hip and with a nervous breath pulled the younger male in for a passionate kiss. Felix’s hands moved to rest against Changbin’s chest as he pressed his body forward, melting into the kiss. Changbin could no longer think straight, he couldn’t believe this was finally happening, it was nothing like he had ever imagined.
He didn’t know how long they kissed for but the sounds of the world eventually came back to him when his brain decided to come out of shock. He could hear the sound of the camera taking the third photo and the other boys cooing teasingly and clapping happily for them.
His embarrassment was the only thing that could pull him away from Felix’s plush lips. He blushed and looked down at their hand positions because he couldn’t look Felix in the eye right now without dying.
“Well it’s about time!” Jisung whined. “I thought I was gonna die before I ever saw you two get together.”
Changbin looked up and glared over Felix’s shoulder at Jisung whose mouth got covered by Hyunjin who looked disheartened but smiling softly.
“He’s right, you know, it took you long enough.” Felix said with a chuckle.
Changbin brought his attention back to Felix who was tilting his head, pressing his cheek further into Changbin’s hand and blinking up at him so prettily.
Changbin was a little breathless from the visuals. “Twenty seconds is a really long time…”
