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It was no secret that adventures came in many forms, and in many phases. Sometimes you were running as fast as you could from a volcano or tornado, and everything was about getting away as fast as possible. Sometimes you were fighting hordes of enemies at once, having to figure out their weakness and be ready to exploit it, all in a matter of seconds. Sometimes you were sneaking into a carefully guarded enemy fortress, depending entirely on your stealth, knowing full well that any slip up would mean you were a goner.
Other times, however paradoxical it seemed, adventure meant being stuck in one place for a long time, with no way in sight to pass it. A dragon’s dungeon, a prison camp behind enemy lines, even something mundane like camping in a strange forest, waiting for the sun to return, or in the front room of a castle, waiting to meet a powerful king you would want to ally with. Or in this case, being stuck in a container full of other cores with no way of getting out.
The self proclaimed adventure sphere had seen worse. But worse wasn’t quite as boring. A good song would sometimes pass the time, but it wasn’t easy to pull inspiration from anywhere for lyrics.
“Nananana nAAAAAA, and then another explosion, NANANA, riding the shockwave to VICTORYYYYYY!”
Rick sighed, and looked over at his companion. “Ayo, pinkie, how long’s it been?”
The aptly named pink-eyed testing sphere sputtered a bit. “Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. Twelve.”
“Ehhh, that’s whatcha said last time. When’s the last time you went and got yerself looked at?”
“The fact sphere is not defective. Its facts are wholly accurate and very interesting.”
Rick rolled his optic. The fact sphere, or Craig, as he sometimes liked to be called, had been a good companion for a while now. Rick could never quite remember how they had started hanging around each other, but as long as he could remember, wherever he was, “Pinkie” would follow.
That, however, did not mean their adventures were without conflict. “Pinkie, do you even remember how we got here?”
“The Intelligence Dampening Sphere, several hours after assuming control of the facility, restarted the explosives manufacturing wing, at first accidentally while trying to silence the alert announcer protocol. Upon realizing what he had done, he then began using parts of cores, both deactivated and live, to make more bombs, so as to increase total production.”
“Exactly. Now, I happen to be lucky, cause as much as I love explodin’, I’m more valuable to ol’ blue-eye as a consultant than as a single lil’ wad o’ napalm.”
“He will most likely kill you, violently.”
Rick looked over, or at least as best he could given his position. “Ain’t that the point of an adventure? Overcomin’ the odds, fightin’ towards victory. ‘Sides, I can keep ya from bein’ turned into a bomb – why else do you think he brought you here?”
“The fact sphere is the most handsome sphere.”
Rick sighed. “Run a temperature check for me, will ya, pinkie?”
“WARNING: Sphere temperature reaching ninety- Apples. Oranges. Pears. Plums. Kumquats. Tangerines. Lemons. Limes. Avocado. Tomato. Banana. Papaya. Guava.”
“Exactly. When Doc Virgil was sayin’ you was hot as Rigel, he wasn’t exactly complimentin’ ya. Only I can use that there line – got me a trademark on it.”
The moment he had said the word “Rigel”, a yellow-eyed core immediately sprung to action - that action being to spin its optic rapidly.
“Rigel! Rigel Rigel… blue star! Big blue star! …Goooooonna go supernova! Big bright star go boom! Wanna go to Rigel. Wanna see big boom star.”
“Sigh… yeah, that. You bein’ all overheated n whatnot makes you a perfect catalyst for a big bomb. And as much as I might enjoy that, I need ya alive so you can help me do the math for the next adventure course I build. Lucky for you, I know how to get us both outta this. ‘Member when we got Avery out of the whole mess with them turrets?”
“The adventure sphere had placed the gardening sphere, his then-romantic partner, into a custom built ‘adventure course’, which left her on the ground and under fire from turrets after a panel malfunction. Her injuries would require a full hull replacement afterwards.”
Rick nodded, “And how’d I get ‘er out of it?”
“The adventure sphere initially attempted to negotiate with the turrets as they were firing on the gardening sphere. This attempt was unsuccessful, as the turrets could not hear over the sound of their own gunfire. After several minutes, the fact sphere found and hit the deactivation switch.”
“Exac- wait, what?” Rick tried his best to remember. Now that he thought about it, Craig was right. He had tried to negotiate, but it was the fact sphere that had actually shut the turrets down. In his defense, he had better memories of what came next, when his romantic partner had decided to end things then and there.
“Alright, fine, bad example, but point is, I’m what keeps you and Spaceball here both nine times outta ten.” Remember that time I saved you from bein’ launched into acid?
“ERROR, ERROR, ERROR: File not found.”
The space sphere, seemingly unconcerned with the argument in question, had shifted his focus to planets. “Go to Jupiter, go to Jupiter, see all the moons! Bababa bap babap baba. Become the smallest moon of Jupiter.”
The adventure sphere rolled his eye. “Ayo Spaceball. Say one useful thing. One. I dare you. I will give you a hundred dollars if you say one thing remotely applicable to anything at all.”
Before he could respond with facts about neutron stars, however, Rick heard footsteps and what sounded like the one voice every core could hear from everywhere in the facility. Only this time, it was muffled, coming from what sounded like a small speaker.
“Corrupted cores, we’re in luck!” The footsteps grew louder, showing something Rick could never have imagined was still around. A human. The voice continued. “You find a way to stun him, I’ll send you a core, and then you attach it to him. If we do it a few times, he might become corrupt enough for another core transfer.”
The human nodded, made a right turn, and disappeared. Rick turned his focus back to his other companion. “Check it out pinkie, we got us another adventure! Good thing I’m here to save the day.”
The fact sphere was unfazed. “The adventure sphere is a blowhard and a coward.”
Rick was taken aback. “I… c’mon pinkie, you n’ me both know that ain’t true.”
“The adventure sphere, despite his insistence that he has no fears, cannot admit to his friends or partners that he depends on them or cares for them in any way. This traps him into a perpetual cycle of the cores he cares about abandoning him, which he justifies by insisting that they lack his adventuresome spirit.”
“C’mon pinkie, what are you even talki-”
“Examples include the gardening sphere, the culinary sphere, the public relations sphere, and the fact sphere.”
“I… I mean I don’t…” Rick was shocked more than anything to hear his companion say that. Not only because it was the same thing several of his exes always said to him, but also because it was perhaps the first time he had ever thought, or been made to think, about Craig as someone he cared about.
But now that he was forced to face it… he did care about Craig. Every now and then, when Craig was occupied, either from being repaired or working on the little documentary series he had been making, Rick was stuck on his own. If that had come across to Craig, it had been despite his personality, not because of it.
And as fun as it was to be on his own against every threat the world could throw at him, it wasn’t quite as fun if he couldn’t talk about what he enjoyed with someone who had been there as well. Craig was not really a singer, so they had never done a duet of any adventure songs, but he had been there to listen to them longer than anyone else. He’d even critiqued them from time to time.
It had taken him forever, but now he had to admit it.
“I… I care a lot about ya, pinkie. You’re like, my best friend and stuff. And… I dunno, I like havin’ ya by my side when I’m on an adventure.”
The fact sphere sputtered a bit. “To make a photocopier, simply photocopy a mirror.”
In the past, Rick had ignored his companion’s little tidbits whenever they were unsolicited. But for the first time, it felt good to hear them.
“We uh… we make a good duo, the two of us. I got me the adventuresome spirit, and you got yourself the brains.”
“It is incorrectly noted that deer are usually hunted for their antlers or their meat. They are instead hunted for their gearboxes, which can also be used to power motorcycles.”
Rick chuckled. Nervously, he looked away from Craig, hoping to find the right way to phrase his next question. “Shoot, whaddaya say… when we get us outta here, maybe we should like… hit the encore club again. Just the two of us this time. Whatcha… whatcha say?”
“Whoever wins this battle is clearly superior, and will earn the allegiance of the Fact Sphere.”
Rick’s handles moved, and his CPU experienced an extra burst of energy. “Ha, I’ll take that as a yes!”
The Space core, meanwhile, had continued his ramblings. “Ba ba ba babababa ba, wanna go to Saturn, go see Saturn. Saturn’s got rings. Big rings. Put a ring on it.”
Rick chuckled. “Heh, maybe we oughta put a ring on it, huh pinkie?”
“Cores do not have fingers.”