Chapter Text
The stars in the sky lent themselves to many a location. Some areas staunchly refused them; The big city could provide its own lights, thank you very much, and the badlands scoffed at the very notion of a sky that wasn’t menacing at all hours of the day. Other locales borrowed sparingly, such as the grasslands for a bit of light or the desert more for the sake of guidance. A few, such as the snowlands or the mountains, were such serial borrowers that their credit score would made even the most generous of lenders cower in fear. And then there was Star Hill.
Star Hill was one of the holiest areas in the Mushroom Kingdom. It was downright magical in appearance alone, which benefitted the actual magic of the place. It was a place where the world itself had that soft lighting; Not too bright as to ruin the mood, but not too dark as to be sinister or diabolical. Shooting stars danced in the sky, with many eventually landing and shattering into glistening star pieces. Many a person, from the nearby Beanbean Kingdom to the far off reaches of Sarasha Land journeyed for one simple reason: This was a place closest to the stars. A place where the Star Spirits’ attention was easiest to grab. It was a land of wishes.
King Bowser’s scowl didn’t even attempt to hide itself. It proudly put itself on display, mocking all of the starstruck and wondrous looks that the region had previous garnered.
“Would you hurry up already, Junior?!” Bowser barked in annoyance. “We’re wasting our time here!”
“Hold on, Papa! I gotta find a good one!”
“Oh, come on! Any of those stinkin’ stars will be good enough!”
The king’s son, Junior, made a mocking face and went back to searching.
Bowser sighed. Kamek had told him to “be patient” and “not to spoil the prince’s fun”, but he knew better: He had been a young Koopa himself once. He knew that the only way to get wishes granted was to get them granted yourself. He wished to the stars for years and years, and what did he get? Zilch! Nadda! And so it remained until he took matters into his own hands.
As Bowser continued to resent the stars, his son continued searching for the best star to wish on. Eventually he found a particularly bright and shiny one. Clasping his hands and bowing his head, the young Koopa prince prayed with all the might that his tiny body could muster. Once he had made his wish, he returned to his father.
“You done?”
“Yup!”
“What’d ya wish for?”
Junior shook his head rapidly. “Nuh uh! It’s a secret!”
Bowser chuckled. The boy was impatient and had a short attention span. He likely didn’t realize that most of his wishes were blabbed to Bowser at some point or another and that the king made notes (or rather, he would tell Kamek at the moment and Kamek would keep track) of what he wanted.
Which was the other reason why Bowser didn’t bother keeping up the charade. In years past, whenever a certain wish of Junior’s wasn’t granted, Kamek would rationalize some form of excuse. “Oh, you got so many toys already this year!” “Perhaps they overlooked that wish!” and so on. This year, Junior would make sure that the stars knew exactly what he wanted.
Bowser was not looking forward to what would happen later.
Still, Junior wasn’t having any words to the contrary. And so the two took off in their respective Koopa Clown Cars, Junior to find something else to do and Bowser to plan his annual New Years shindig/kidnapping of Princess Peach.
Even now in the present day, Star Hill still proved itself to be the most dazzling location in the Mushroom Kingdom. If there was a place that could outshine it, such a place had yet to be discovered. Stardust Fields continued to put up a bitter fight, yet just can not compare. It was almost impossible to not be taken in by the beauty of the summit.
“This is so dumb.” The youth muttered to himself as his Junior Clown Car took him to the summit of the hill. Part of him wondered why he even bothered with this stupid tradition. The stupid stars won’t grant his stupid wish anyway. In fact, he’s fine with it! He doesn’t care all that much about the Princess anymore! He doesn’t need her! All he needs is his dad and the minions! And he’ll still have one of those for the next month! Then again, it was either this or being bored back at the castle.
So, when the boy reached the top, he picked the first star he spotted, made his wish half-heartedly and flew off.
“See ya next year, boss!~” Iggy Koopa shouted.
“Yeah! Take care!” Roy Koopa said, making the ‘see ya’ gesture.
“Bye Mr. Bowser!” Lemmy Koopa waved rapidly.
“We’ll send ya postcards! Maybe we’ll even bring ya something back!” Larry Koopa considered.
“We’ll be back as soon as we can!” Morton Koopa promised.
“Ta-ta, Lord Bowser! We’ll keep you in our thoughts!” Wendy Koopa cooed.
“Thank you once again, Lord Bowser! We’ll see you in the new year!” Ludwig Von Koopa confirmed.
“Yeah, yeah. Get outta here you crazy kids.”
Bowser watched as the Koopalings’ airships took off in different direction. He stood, alone in the snow that stubbornly refused to take its surroundings into consideration until Kamek flew in on his broomstick.
“I’ll be at my library if you need me-”
“I won’t.”
“...But I’ll also be swooping in from time to time to talk with everyone.”
“Feh.”
Kamek flew off, leaving to wonder why he even bothered to still go through this song and dance. The king stuck around just long enough to see him disappear into the distance before retreating inside.
Bowser’s Castle was almost always a living organism of its own. From dawn to dusk and everything in between, the primary structure of the Koopa Kingdom constantly had some activity going on in the background. Boom Boom practicing his punches as Pom Pom chatted with Wendy over the phone. Captain Goomba giving pointers to the rest of the Goomba squadron. The Koopas and Paratroopas guarding the perimeter or neglecting their duties to do a little shell-bowling
But now it was silent. No sounds of minion gossip. No boos that wait in random furniture or walls to haunt the shells off of whatever pour souls pass by. No Hammer Bros and Monty Moles arguing about whether Rocky Wrenches were turtles or moles. Even the factories, usually rolling out walls-to-walls of Bullet Bills, Bob-Ombs and other devious devices, were still and silent.
For the first time all year, as it was at this time every other year, Bowser’s Castle was almost entirely empty.
The King’s constitutional through its silent halls was brief, but still affected him deeply. Could a king without subjects even still be called a king? Or was he just a crazy guy who happened to own a massive house? Still, this reverse exile was self-imposed. Indeed, the only reason Junior stayed was because the Koopa Prince refused to spend such an important holiday without his father. Kamek would get on Bowser’s case for this, pointing out that such a dreary atmosphere was not healthy for a boy like him. Bowser would make the counteroffer of letting him take Junior instead.
The one time Kamek agreed, he lasted almost two days before caving in.
At last, the King made it to the throne room. He sat down in his gaudy, spike-covered chair and ruminated; On his rivalry with Mario, on his love for Peach, on the various matters concerning his minions, on how he became a castle this year and how much fun that was until Mario ruined it, on that surprisingly gutsy Toad that charged an extra five coins for a parking space and Bowser almost restrained himself from stomping him. Almost.
To see the King so quiet and introspective would’ve jarring to any of his enemies, or his minions for that matter. But there was a reason Bowser did this every year.
Because every year, this was the last day of guaranteed quiet that he would get.
“Pshaw! Hehehe! You’ll never defeat me, the great and powerful Mario! All the Koopas will bow to me! KRACK! POW! Not so fast! Oh no! It’s Bowser Jr., son of the great King Bowser! The strongest Koopa to ever live!”
It was early the next morning when Bowser Jr. went outside of play in the snow. Having been raised on a healthy diet of comic books and action cartoons, Junior’s games usually revolved around playing out scenarios that he was previously involved with, usually skewered due to the boy’s slanted views.
“Junior! You’ve saved me! Now our family can be together again! Aw, it was nothing, Mama! That’s just the job of a Koopa Hero!” Junior paused in his antics as he noticed someone off in the distance. They seemed to be watching him from afar, and started to flee once he got close. “Huh? Was that the Princess? What’s she doin’ sneaking around here?” Junior grew determined. “Well, if it’s sneaking she wants, she’ll have to out-sneak the sneakiest sneaker to ever sneak!”
And thus, Junior moved in pursuit of what he assumed was the princess.
It was just shy of 11 in the morning that they arrived.
Bowser walked down the hall leading to the door as if he were headed for his own execution. Trying to ignore it would be a fool’s errand. It’d just lead to ceaseless knocking (amplified by the castle walls and opposed by sheer nothing to break it up) and Kamek would eventually show and let them in anyway. Better to just get it over with.
So Bowser opened the door.
“Hrmpth! Took you long enough!” Bowser’s Brother, denoted by his azure skin, grumbled.
“Actually, he answered 3.7 seconds faster than he did last year.” Bowser’s Sister corrected, adjusting her glasses snootily.
“Yeah, yeah, Bookworm.” Blue mumbled as he stepped into the keep before making a disgusted face, almost as if he were a Beanish person who had been told one of the 12 Horrific Jokes of Anti-Comedy. “I swear, you make this place tackier every year!”
“And I swear your taste gets worse every year!” Bowser shot back. Blue cleverly dodged the insult, which narrowly missed the Bookworm. Then there was a voice that commanded attention. The voice of the Matriarch of the Koopa Royal Family.
“Oh Gukbap! How’s my little guy?”
Bowser stiffened as his mother, with a beehive hairdo and glasses, hugged him. She turned to the other two Bowsers. “I see Bibinba and Yukke made it as well! Oh how nice it is to see you all!”
Blue and the Bookworm chuckled lightly. Mama Bowser stepped into the castle and looked around disapprovingly.
“Oh Gukbap. You’re still in this stuffy old castle.” She said with a sigh. “Have you ever thought about getting a nice place at Isle Delfino?
“I have places elsewhere! And I like the stuffiness!” Bowser argued back.
“Probably because you stay in stuffy places so much. Try another place. You never know until you try.”
“Yeah, bro! You should broaden your horizons!” Blue jabbed Bowser in the arm as he walked in.
“Maybe it’ll help with that bad attitude of yours.” The Bookworm chuckled as she followed.
Bowser’s glance could melt the very snow outside of his castle, which said something either about him or the lava moat surrounding it. Bowser discreetly took out his Bowser Phone (TM) and sent his son a message telling him to come back for lunch. Then, he begrudgingly followed.
A room’s size is never truly appreciated until it is empty. A king could have the grandest of grand halls, able to hold five armys’ worth of minions five times over. Yet, it never actually feels big until there are few people to take up all the space that otherwise permeates the room.
Bowser’s Great Hall could fit 20 armies, twenty times over.
And so, it was in this massive room that the Bowser Family congregated. The king himself sat at one of the ends of the table, setting the seating and his family sat at the nearby chairs; the siblings on one side and the queen on the other.
“Huh. Table seems a bit empty.” Blue raised an eyebrow. “Still no luck with the Princess, huh?
“She’ll come around! Eventually!” Bowser quickly stated.
“Huh. Funny. I remember you saying that the last year. And the year before that… and the year before that… and the year before that… and the…”
Bowser scowled as his brother continued to rattle off the years that Bowser promised to make the princess his. Clearly, this man hasn’t heard of a “work in progress”. He wasn’t there when Peach politely declined transferring over to the “Lord Bowser” racing team. She’s just playing hard to get!
“Brother Blue has a point, but not for that reason.” The Bookworm pointed out, adjusting her glasses. “Where’s Junior? Don’t tell me you’re Kooped up in this castle all by yourself?”
“Now that you mention it Yukke, where is my grandson?” The Queen asked.
“He’s out. Went to play in the snow. He’ll be back.”
“Oh? So he’s out playing with friends? How nice!”
“Eh...”
A buzz. Bowser looked at his phone.
“B there soon. Bringing Mom.”
Bringing Mom?
The Princess? So he nabbed her for the holidays? But that can’t be right. Junior wasn’t the type to bluntly reveal his intentions to Bowser; He always kept it a secret unless Bowser himself sent the boy. Bowser tried to remember if he gave Junior such an order.
“...the year before that… and the year before that… and-”
“ALRIGHT I GET IT!” Bowser roared, finally getting his brother to stop. “EXCUSE ME FOR PEACHY PLAYING HARD TO GET! STOP WITH YOUR STINKIN’ COUNTING!”
“Why not? It gets the point across so well.”
“What point?!”
“Come on. All these years and you’re no closer to conquering the world then you were back when I was helpin’ you.” Blue huffed. “All you’re doing is making the rest of us look bad.”
“And what do you care? You’re not exactly makin’ the news yourselves.”
“It’s one thing for you to embarrass yourself trying to woo that chick. But when you’re laying waste to kingdoms for your marriage or trying to brainwash the universe with a rock concert, that’s when you start getting noticed.” Blue took an extra long sip of his wine while glaring at his brother.
“How do you think we feel? Having to be the siblings of the guy who wants constantly gets his butt kicked by that pint-sized plumber?” The Bookworm pointed accusingly at Bowser.
“Yeah? And what would you do? Read another one of your dumb books? You got a “Killing Plumbers For Dummies” manual lyin’ around?” Bowser then glared at Blue. “And YOU of all people should know how troublesome those meddlesome Mario Bros are!”
Blue finished his drink and stared his brother in the eyes.
“Then why don’t you go somewhere they aren’t? Somewhere that isn’t the Mushroom Kingdom or anywhere close?”
Bowser stood up and glared at his family.
“Are you... tellin Me... t’ give up?”
The siblings held their respective glares. Mama Bowser had only vaguely been paying attention to conversation at hand, being engrossed one of the books she brought with her from her library. She had just finished and was about to get up to get another, when the doors leading out of the hall suddenly swung open just long enough for a koopa kid to scamper in. But this was not one of Bowser’s mini-mes, the few remaining entities in the castle, but rather the young prince.
“Oh, it’s Bowsy! How’s my little prince doing?”
“Grandma!” Junior promptly leapt into the Queen’s waiting hands and gave her a fierce hug.
The siblings, being the adults that they were, decided to table the argument for now. However, being the petty siblings that they were, this did not stop them from shooting dirty looks and obscene gestures at each other whenever they thought they could get away with it.
“Junior! Nice of you to make it kiddo.” Bowser said half-sarcastically. “How was your day?”
“Oh man! It started off soooo boooring! There’s nobody here so I had to play by myself, but there’s nothin’ to do outside either! Boring, bad, lame!” Junior ranted.
“Then why do you sound so exci-”
“But then, but then, but THEN-” Junior looked around giddly. “I found her, Dad! I found Mom!”
“Mom? Who? Peach?”
“No! Mom!”
“Son, what are you talking about?!”
There was a knock at the door that Junior previously entered from. Immediately, everyone’s attention turned to it. For reasons, Bowser could not explain, he felt a sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. But before he could consider why he was feeling this way, Junior took off to the door at speeds that would put blue shells to shame.
“Ahem! Presenting, the one, the only-” Junior proudly gestured to the door, “QUEEN OF THE KOOPAS!”
The doors slammed open.
In the darkness that was overpowering the hallway torches, a common occurrence in the Castle of Koopa, there stood a woman. A woman wearing a dress, earrings and embodied by a familiar silhouette…
Princess Peach?!
Some part of Bowser wanted to chastise his son for building up such a reveal, but said part of Bowser was too busy hiding from the fierce and destructive battle between Bowser’s joy at having Princess Peach and horror at the thought of Peach knowing about the rest of his family. It was a cataclysmic struggle . Few survived.
Even more cruel was that it was unnecessary. For King Bowser noticed some... differences. Like horns on her head and her dress. The the hands looked way bigger than Peach’s. And her shoes had a familiar reinforced ste e l look to them…
Then she stepped into the slightly-brighter-light.
Her features came into finer detail. Her green dress. Her red gem. Her tail. Her fiery hair. The fire-resistant fan that she fanned herself with.
“GWAHAHAHA! It’s good to see you again, Bowser dearest!” The mysterious woman announced. “It’s me! Princess Drupe!”
The dining hall was plunged into silence.
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…
“Look, Larry. The Boos won’t hurt as long as you follow their rules! ...For stars’ sake Larry, have you ever spoken to a Boo for five minutes?! … Well if you did, you’d know…” Ludwig put down his Bowser Phone (customized to look like himself, of course) and turned to Iggy and Roy. “You guys felt that right?”
“You mean that feeling that something big and world-changin’ is happenin’ to Bowz right now?” Roy asked.
“Nyahaha! I thought I was the only one!” Iggy said giddily.
“...Shouldn’t we go and check it out?”
“Nah, he’s probably got it.” Roy sat up in his seat, roaring with excitement as Rawk Hawk Rawked his opponent, bringing the latest Glitz Pit match to a climatic and sensational finish. It got 5 stars. Truly one for the history books.