Work Text:
Simon would never be able to explain the myriad of emotions that ran through him in that moment.
In the span of him luring the impostor into the boiler room, Maddie's spirit running straight into her own body, and the body of his best friend collapsing, he forgot how to breathe. He stood, frozen, as Maddie's body began to twitch and writhe violently, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. They had spent so many nights watching scenes like this in movies only to end up experiencing a real-life exorcism. It was unreal, more so than talking to her ghost for weeks.
It was only when Maddie's fingers began to scratch at the skin of her arms did he snap back to reality. "Maddie!" he breathed, rushing to the side of her body. Blood had been drawn from the shallow cuts. He tried to tear her hands away only to be met with a sharp scrape to his cheek.
Still, Simon didn't let that deter him. Ignoring the stinging in his face, he successfully pinned her arms to the floor. Her legs flailed and thrashed about, probably aiming to kick him. But he didn't let up. "I'm sorry," he murmured, it was the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry."
He watched, carefully, as the struggle continued. It was painful, doing nothing as he knew his other half was fighting for her life. He wished he wasn't so utterly useless, he wished she had never been put in this situation in the first place. But she was and he hated it, he hated everything.
He hated Sandra for failing Maddie at every stage of her life. He hated Xavier for betraying her. He hated Claire for turning her back on her. He hated Janet for stealing her life from her. But most of all? Simon hated himself.
How could he have been so stupid? How could a figment of his imagination have figured out Mr. Anderson's passcode? Or led him to the knock-off uniforms in the first place? Maddie had felt real the entire time and he'd known that. He knew her, just like she knew him. Yet he had stilled turned his back on her. And he had almost lost her for good because of it.
"I'm sorry I left you," he continued before he could stop himself. His voice was muffled even to his own ears. "I... I was being an idiot. I should have listened to you, I should have believed you. I'm sorry I let you down." The struggling had quelled a bit and his hand slid from her wrist into her hand. The hand tightened around his painfully, but it didn't bother him.
Simon's lip trembled as he remembered when he'd realized she was missing. The fear that something terrible had happened to her had been like a weight on his back pulling him further and further into the ground. And then finding out she was dead? He'd wanted to tear everyone and everything apart until he found out who was responsible.
"You're everything to me," Simon confessed as tears blurred his eyes. He had never liked crying, his father had been hard on him about it growing up. It was a sign of weakness. But he had already cried in front of Maddie, three times to be exact. One more time wouldn't hurt. "I-I can't lose you, not again."
He gripped her hands tighter, noticing how the thrashing had picked up again. "I know you're a really bad fighter," he said, a poor attempt at a joke. Maddie liked dry humor even if it was at her expense. "But kick her ass, okay? She fucking deserves it. This is your body and she stole it, she stole your life from you."
Maddie's body went limp. Half a second later, Simon's heart dropped. "Maddie?" No response, not even a twitch. "Mads?" He shook her, to no avail. "No... No please no." His fingers flew to her neck.
No pulse.
Simon threw herself over her. His mind raced, but he tried to recall the CPR classes his mother had signed him up for. He tilted her head back and started chest compressions. One, two, three...
Don't leave me, don't leave me, I'msorryI'msorry-
Six, seven, eight, nine...
Please, please, please-
Eleven, twelve, thirteen...
I love you, I love you-
Fifteen. Their lips connected and he breathed.
Green eyes flew open. Pink lips gaped, desperately sucking in air. The body of his best friend shook, but zeroed in on him immediately. "...Simon?" A small, trembling hand struggling to reach up and touch his cheek. He hadn't felt her touch in so long, he'd forgotten how much he'd missed it.
Every one of his instincts told him to lean into the touch, to be relieved that she was alive. But he stood firm; he couldn't fail her again. "How did we meet?" he asked, clenching his jaw.
She blinked rapidly as if she hadn't heard him and his heart was in his throat, until her lips curled into that beautiful smile of hers. "Third grade," she answered, voice hoarse. "I did my English report on Carrie. You came up to me at lunch, told me that it was your favorite movie too, and offered me half of your pop-tart."
Before she could even finish, Simon was already clutching her to his chest. He buried his face in her long blond hair- Janet had grown it out, apparently, as if she'd had the right- and sobbed. She was here, she was alive. He hadn't lost her. He-
Maddie winced. "Si," she rasped. "I'm happy to see you too, but I think you broke one of my ribs."
Simon immediately loosened his grip. "Shit," he hissed. "I'm sorry, Maddie-"
She laughed, exhausted, and rested her head against his shoulder. "S'okay," she assured him, eyes drooping. "'m tired."
"I know," he murmured. Arm looped around her hip as to not agitate her ribs, he hauled them both off of the ground. "Mads, these stairs are gonna be a bitch. I need you to bear with me, okay?"
Maddie nodded, steadying herself against him. "Kay," she agreed easily. After some walking, she spoke again, "Si?"
Simon was focused ahead, intent on keeping them from tumbling to the ground. "Yeah?"
"You didn't let me down," she told him firmly.
He staggered, almost causing them to fall, but managed to steady them. His face burned in embarrassment. "You heard?"
Maddie smiled at him. "Of course I did, dork," she answered fondly. "How do you think I beat her?" Her eyes turned sad suddenly. "I... I didn't want to hurt her."
That didn't surprise Simon. Despite her cool exterior, Maddie was a bleeding heart. She took care of people, couldn't stand it when anyone was hurting. If Janet even resembled a tortured soul, she would have shown her compassion. "Why?" he asked.
She inhaled through her nose. "She was hurting so bad." The blond looked at him through teary eyes. "She was a kid, younger than us. Mr. Martin... he ruined her. Not just during her life, but for over sixty years when she was dead. He took... everything from her. After hearing that, part of me just wanted to let her win."
Simon swallowed down what he wanted to say to that. How he wanted to berate her for even considering something so stupid. Just because he hurt her doesn't give her the right to hurt you, he wanted to yell at her. But he didn't because that was the last thing she needed.
"Why didn't you?" he asked instead.
Maddie's smile returned. "Because that would have meant leaving you," she told him, holding onto him a little tighter. "And that wasn't an option for me, it never was. You're everything to me too, y'know?"
Simon was completely normal about those words, of course he was.
When they finally made it out of the school, an ambulance was waiting. Paramedics approached her, ready to load her into it, but she stepped away from them and looked at the vehicle like it would swallow her whole. "Hey," he said, worried. "What's wrong?"
Her fingers curled tighter around him. "I... I can't leave," she whispered.
It hit him over the head; she hadn't been able to leave the school for weeks. Even if she was alive now, part of her probably thought she'd end up back in that boiler room. "It's okay," Simon assured her. "You're alive, Mads, you're here. You won't go back, I promise." He needed her to make it to the hospital, who knew what injuries she had other than a broken rib?
Maddie looked at him. "Stay with me?" she beckoned.
Simon smiled this time. "Always," he swore. And they clambered into the back of the ambulance together.