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"I have been keeping from you for oh, 200 hundred years," Isaac told Nigel, looking deep into Nigel's green eyes. "I'm just really nervous how you're going to take it."
Nigel was excited this was it! Finally, they would confess, and Nigel could confess as well and they could finally be together. "I might take it just fine."
"Really?" Isaac looked at Nigel with all of the hope in the world. Nigel could hardly wait for him to confess. In truth, Nigel has figured that Isaac had been curious since at least the 80s, but better late than never.
"Oh," Nigel assured him.
"Alright, here it goes, Nigel?"
"Yes, Isaac."
"I killed you."
"Excuse me?" That was what he wanted to talk about. About his demise, not his love? Had Nigel been wrong?
"Well what happened was I had invented a gun with a spyglass," Isaac tried to explain. Nigel wasn't processing anything, this man had killed him. And Nigel had fallen in love, what was he stupid?
"But I sneezed, and for... no reason at all you just happen to in my view."
"Are telling me the cowardly sniper that took my life was you?" Nigel felt awful for having these feelings. He should have known a Yankee could not have been trusted. What a fool he was.
"Well, that was not at all my intention," Isaac muttered like an idiot.
"To have murder in cold blood a fellow officer,' Nigel stood up in disgrace. You think you can know someone after 200 years. No, Isaac was less than the dirt under Nigel's undead boots.
"My hope was to apologize," Isaac tried. To apologize for what? Like Nigel would ever forgive him.
"I've had enough of this," Nigel snarked. Isaac brought him from the shed, just for this? "Baxter!" Nigel yelled just Baxter started playing that familiar tune. It felt soothing almost, but nothing could break the mood he was in.
Baxter's fife carried them to the familiar shed where they had made a home. "At ease Baxter."
Baxter stopped playing, "Is everything alright, Litentuant General Chessum?"
"I have received some devasting news." Nigel tried not to think about it.
"Do you want me to play something for you?" Baxter asked, putting the fife next to his mouth.
"No, I'm afraid that this pain can't be simply played away." He entered the shed, Baxter following.
"Whatever it was, me and Jenkins are here for you." Baxter looked like like he was prepared for Nigel to kiss, or hug him. But Nigel had a better plan.
Nigel commanded his men, "We are taking back the mansion!"
Baxter's eyes went wide, "Last time we did that, the Viking picked me up and threw me at you two."
Jenkins checked his nails, "And at your weight, we barely felt a thing."
"Because I'm a ghost right?" Baxter asked.
"Well, now doubt in your life-'
Nigel yelled at them, "Men, focus!" Nigel remembered that the Yankee lied and was filled with determination. He told his army, "We had updated the terms of combat between ghosts, so while it may be violent, we will be of little danger.
Baxter went up to him, "So will all I have to do is play music?" He reached for Nigel's hand, but he turned away, not even noticing Baxter's hand.
Jenkins smirked, a rather devilish smirk, "Looking forward to fighting Isaac"
"The British are coming" Some loser with an arrow in his neck yelled.
"No, Sam they didn't," Isaac told the living woman as he headed downstairs.
Nigel was standing in the center of the hallway, his men behind him. The three were ready for everything.
Nigel laid out his grievances. "It has come to my attention that, I an officer, in His Majesty's Armed Forces, was murdered by the shameless American war criminal Isaac Higgintoot."
"Wait, that was the secret?" A female living rudely butted in. Can't she see that this is official business?
Nigel continued, his entire being full of hatred, "This horrifying breach of decorum shall not go unpunished. We are taking the house." That will teach Isaac, that now everything he and his friends have will be gone, and it was his fault.
"Well..." Isaac said, Nigel could pick up some uncertainty in his voice. "If you insist that the time for words has passed-"
He told Arrow Boy, "Just coming through"
"- Then no matter the cost in blood or treasure. My Army and I will defend this house to the bitter end."
That is Captain Higgintoot for you. So determined as always. If Nigel wasn't so mad he would be so turned on right now.
He was, actually, but that's unrelated. The house should belong to the British!
Two of Isaac's men stood behind him. It was war.
"If it's war you want, then war you shall have" Nigel stared Isaac down. Those beautiful eyes he had... No, that devilish eyes, he had. He dare he stand between Nigel and the house?
"So be it."
"It's time for battle!" Nigel gave Baxter the single to start playing, and the battle commenced.
They swung at each other, trying to fight as strongly as they could. Nigel swiped at one of Isaac's men, and then narrowly dodged his attack. Isaac could barely land a swipe at him.
The battle was going...
It was a...
"Oh! Damn this impotent existence!" Isaac screamed out. Tired from this battle, and from the rules they had made. "If was alive I would wipe you and your boys off the face of the earth."
Nigel was assaulted, they were his men! And also, "No you'd shoot me in the chest while I was reading my poems!" He thought about how never got to the end of The Odyssey. "Oh, wait! You already did that."
Nigel couldn't help but notice that Isaac winced a bit. Was it in shame, or fear that he got caught?"
Isaac sighed, "Well. If we can't fight, then how the hell do we resolve this invasion, hmm?"
Nigel was also stumped, the ghost couldn't get violent after they had worked hard to decide the rules of combat.
He kicked the ground, "If only there were some way to simulate actual combat."
The female living grimaced, looking like she had a terrible plan. She nonetheless raised her hand.
Could they have picked a more boring way to settle this? Jenkins was having fun, the little weirdo, but oh my word! Nigel had quit following a long time into the battle but it just kept going.
Isaac was somehow less into this than he was, not even hiding his boredom. He had his head in his hands, so exhausted.
"Why would anyone play this?" Nigel looked at the board in boredom. This game never ends.
Isaac shook his head, “This is silly. Nigel, my killing you was an accident, but not telling you about it for the last two centuries was my fault.”
Isaac seemed sincere, and Nigel fought the feelings he already felt. In truth, he had let his emotions drag him into this battle.
Nigel asked, "Why didn't you just say something?"
"I-I was afraid you'd be mad," Isaac told him. He was right, look at what happened today.
"I can see why that might be a hard subject to broach, but..." The question burned in Nigel "How does one even accidentally shoot another?" NIgel could feel the pain of the fatal wound in him as he thought about it.
"Well, I was really intending to spy on you-"
He was spying on me? Why?
"-ur camp, using a musket-looking glass that I had invented. Some people are calling it the "Eyesaac." Isaac was so nervous, of course. But Nigel would be lying if he didn't think he looked cute. And he just knew what someone as vain as Isaac would call the musket.
"So like your name, but with E-y-e"
Isaac seemed shocked that Nigel was able to figure that out. Isaac looked so cute when he felt relaxed.
"Yes. How did you know?"
Nigel told him the truth, "Well, what else would it be? Simply brilliant. I love it." Isaac looked so cute when got compliments. Of course, Nigel wasn't going to let him off the hook, not yet. "I mean... for an instrument of my demise."
Isaac said dreamily, "And I love you."
I knew it! This is finally
"...loving it."
"I love you loving it."
Nigel refused to let his feelings take control, not after what happened today. He told the mansion ghosts and his men, "We shall consider the matter water the bridge. The invasion is canceled."
He told the beautiful Isaac, "Thank you for your gracious hospitality. Until we next parley." before standing and leaving. Jenkins was going to continue playing, but Nigel called to Baxter to start playing him out. Baxter seemed so happy to play for him.
"About that!" Isaac stopped Nigel. Baxter stopped playing, also curious about what Isaac wanted. Isaac very nervously suggested, "-About that, maybe it would help keep the peace if we, um... parleyed more often."
Baxter was worried, and Jenkins narrowed his eyes.
Nigel smiled, yeah, keep the peace. That was the goal. He looked at Isaac, just the perfect thing.
