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“Ian Andrew Hecox, how many times must I tell you that phones are forbidden at the table?”
The smile etched on Ian's face when he was seemingly replying to a text vanished as he cleared his throat. He put his phone down on the table next to him, nodding softly.
“Yes, mom. Sorry.’'
“Ah, c'mon, mom, our little business man has so many things to do! Which includes texting his boyfriend.”
Ian choked on his saliva, glaring at his sister from across the dinner table.
“First of all, I'm 36, second of all, Anthony's no–”
“Don't bother your brother too much, Melissa,” Cheryl softly nodded, although there was a small smile on her face.
“I'm just saying the truth! By the way, you bringing him to Christmas this year?”
Melissa smiled at her brother, a knowing glint in her eyes. Back when they were teenagers, Anthony used to spend most of the big holidays with the Hecox family, considering how much his mom worked. Ian fondly remembered those times spent decorating the Christmas tree and unwrapping the gifts once midnight came. Even as they both became adults, Anthony always dropped either the 24th or the 25th to spend a little time with the family that had helped raise him too.
“Anthony is a grown man, now. You can't expect him to always come when he probably has a family of his own.”
“A family?” Ian choked once again, a laugh nearly spilling out of his mouth. “Anthony doesn't have kids.’’
“Didn't he have a girlfriend?”
“Oh, well…They broke up a while ago,” the man said a bit awkwardly. He cleared his throat once again, nervousness in his voice. Neither his mom or his sister seemed to notice.
“Hard to have a girlfriend when he's too busying fucking Ia–”
“Potatoes! Who wants more mashed potatoes?”
Ian rolled his eyes at his sister's antics, not without sending her a murderous glare. She simply smiled wider and winked at her brother.
God. Why did I even come here in the first place?
________________________________
“Do you need help, mom?”
Ian walked to the sink as he distantly watched his sister's car pull out of the driveway. His hands were sweating and itching a little at the thought of finally coming clear, but he knew he had to. After what had been said at dinner, Ian knew he had to tell his mom and inquire for some advice from her for his future plans. There was no one else he would trust with that kind of stuff.
“No, no, sweetie, it's alright. You work so much already, just relax today.”
“But mom–” Ian knew there was no reasoning with his mom, even though he felt like watching her wash the dishes was mean. Still, he sighed and sat down on a kitchen chair. He could feel his heart beating in his throat.
“About what Mel said earlier…”
“What? Your sister says a lot of things,” Cheryl softly laughed. Ian couldn't help but chuckle too.
“Well, about Anthony coming at Christmas. I…Was wondering if he could, actually?”
Cheryl turned around from the dishes, staring at her son with a surprised expression. Soon enough, however, her features softened and a fond smile grew on her lips.
“Of course he can. You don't even have to ask. You two know he is welcome any time!”
Ian nodded, anxiety swirling high in his guts. He swallowed a lump obstructing his throat and looked up at his mom, at the earnest and sweet expression on her face.
Ian knew he had to be brave and speak up for once, or he would pussy out.
“Thank you,” Ian answered softly. “But, uhm, there was something else I…Needed to tell you.”
Sensing the anxiety and honesty in Ian's voice, Cheryl abandoned the wet sponge on the counter and sat on the chair next to her son. She extended a hand to rub a little the back of Ian's hand resting on the table. “You know you can tell me anything, Ian. What is it?”
“I would like to come at Christmas with Anthony as my…My boyfriend.”
Ian felt the oxygen leave his body. He inhaled deeply one last time, almost fearing to look into his mother's eyes; he was afraid he would find a negative reaction there. Even though his parents always somehow teased him about him and Anthony, he didn't know how she would react to learning it hadn't just been a joke for a while now.
However, to Ian's surprise, Cheryl simply started laughing.
“Of course you want to bring him as your boyfriend…Of course. Would have never guessed it could happen.”
There was a clear sarcastic but very fond undertone to his mom's words. Ian could see the sweet smile on her lips, the one that screamed “We've known” and it relieved him just as much as it embarrassed him. Ian wanted to squirm and bury himself in a hole, so much so that his cheeks grew red.
“How long?”
“Uh?”
“You and Anthony. How many years?”
Ian's cheeks grew redder, although his eyebrows frowned in confusion. “What do you mean, years? One. We've reconnected like, a year ago, mom. You know that…”
Cheryl's eyebrows raised at that answer, an obvious doubt painted over face. “Young man, it's greatly impolite to lie to your mom.”
Despite the clear humor in her tone, Ian's first reaction was to pout and frown a little. Why would he even bother to lie to his mom, if he did the effort of coming out?
“Mom, I'm not lying! We weren't even talking two years ago, you know that!”
“Okay, but before that. Before Anthony left Smosh. Weren't you two a thing?”
Ian spluttered, choking on air at the words leaving his mom's mouth. It was clear from the way she expectantly looked at him that she was not kidding; how long had she thought Anthony and Ian were a thing when they weren't even truly friends anymore? Ian didn't think they looked that suspicious back then, but the thought that he was wrong caused a flush to appear on his cheeks.
“No! No, we weren't…We weren't even really friends, we've…Me and Anthony never….”
Cheryl's face lit up in his surprise at her son's words. She had always been convinced that Anthony and him had secretly been a couple behind her back. She didn't really mind, having known for far too long that her son was in love anyway; there was no one else that could elicit the reactions Anthony elicited from Ian. She still remembered how sheepish but happy he had looked coming back from school that fateful day of sixth grade, announcing he had met someone new at school. Melissa had teased him far too much already, noticing a certain glint in his eyes that he didn’t have when talking about any of his other friends. She had teased him about having a crush, an annoying smirk stretched on her face, and Ian had replied with a frown that no, Anthony was just really cool, and they both liked to play video games, and he was really funny. That, anyway, he was straight and had met him like three hours earlier. He still wanted to ask Sarah for their little end of middle school prom, too.
Even back then, Cheryl had thought Ian was far too defensive over his sister’s teasing. She was always on his back, like siblings did, but there was always a weird edge to the way Ian reacted when her snarky remarks were about Anthony. Obviously, it hadn’t died down; with how much time the dark-haired boy spent at their house, it was impossible for Melissa to hold back. Cheryl couldn’t say she disagreed with what she was saying, either. Ian always was overjoyed to spend time with Anthony, dropping everything he was doing to go see the other boy or begging for days on end to bring him with them on holidays.
However, what had sealed the deal for Cheryl was one warm summer evening in 2003, one that she still remembered like it was yesterday.
School was almost over for the two teenage boys, who were spending yet another Saturday evening sinking into the couch. Cheryl just got done with dinner when she turned around to stare at the two boys digging their hand into one large bowl of popcorn as Jackass played in the background.
“Hey, you know what would be super cool?”
Ian looked over at Anthony as he munched over on his mouthful. Anthony leaned over to briefly brush Ian's bangs away from his eyes.
“We could get our own place together. After we're done with school, you know. I know it's kinda far away, but it'd be cool.”
“Like, all of us? With Stephen, Ryan and Brian?”
“Are you insane? I'd kill Stephen, he's fucking lazy.” Ian laughed, that joyful and loud laugh he only had when Anthony was around. “Just us two. I don't know, I think it'd be neat. We could, like, spend all of our time together and shit. We could play video games whenever we want. We wouldn't even have a curfew! I could be kicking your ass at Mario Kart way more often.”
“Fuck you, you know I'm way better than you!” Ian laughed once again, not even bothering to push away Anthony's legs settling on his lap. “Well, yeah, it'd be cool. We could do that. I wouldn't mind spending all my days with you. Only if you get off your ass and get a real job other than making crappy websites, though.”
“Oh, fuck you, you use the Smosh forums too much to tell me that.”
Both boys laughed, Ian's hands instinctively landing on Anthony's knees and caressing it. Cheryl would usually scold them for using such foul language inside the house, but she found out she didn't have the heart to when that heartwarming moment transformed into a small play-fighting session. As she watched Ian and Anthony playfully fight each other on the couch, half on top of each other and still smiling and laughing, she decided they could eat dinner a little later. She had never seen Ian this happy with anybody else, nor had she ever seen him be this comfortable with someone getting into his space, fully sharing his life.
Listening to the echoes of laughter down the hall, Cheryl hoped that gleeful crush wouldn't go away and could blossom into something more. After all, if they kept on walking that path, she didn't doubt both boys could make something great together, a life they would both be happy to live and share.
The more they grew, the closer Ian and Anthony seemed to get; which explained why Cheryl fully believed something else was going on when they finally honored that promise of moving in together. She could see the shy smiles, the deeply fond glint inside of Anthony's own eyes when he was with Ian. The way the world seemed to melt away as soon as soon as they were together, simply talking or creating videos together. She even still remembered how sour Ian had been all week when he had learned –and therefore told her– about Anthony's relationship with Kalel. How jealous he had even been back when Anthony had taken out this girl in their math class instead of coming to Ian's house like he usually did after school. Or even Anthony's own disappointment the day he had knocked on Cheryl's door, asking for Ian with a hopeful smile, only to be told the teenager was currently gone at the mall with two female friends. Anthony had accepted to come in and wait for his friend's return, sulking on the couch for a good few hours until Ian was back. He and Ian had even argued like an old couple once he came back, and Cheryl had had to resist stepping in to fix the problem. She knew her son's relationship with Anthony was a somewhat difficult one, the lines blurred all the time along with their denial of being anything but straight, but she had fully believed the lines had been crossed over the years. She was greatly surprised to learn they had never been before recently.
“Oh, well, I was sure you two had tried something. You're sure you never?...”
“Mom!” Ian spluttered, red as beet. “Look, that doesn't matter anyway, we're dating now. For real.”
Cheryl couldn't help but smile. “Okay, okay, I get it. Well, how is it going? Everything's alright? Thinking about moving in together again soon, maybe? Unless you already have and didn't tell me.”
Ian shyly shook his head no. “
“Well, no, but…Yeah, we've been, you know, thinking about it. We're just searching for the perfect place. We don't want to choose one of ours, we want a new place to make ours, you see. So, eventually. So, uhm, yes, everything's going well, but… I, uh, I was thinking of, uh, taking the next step for Christmas this year…”
There was a new ball of anxiety obstructing Ian's throat, but he swallowed it down best he could as he watched his mom's eyebrows arch in confusion. He didn't wait for her to ask and simply decided to be brave on his own, for once.
“I want to, I want to marry him. Ask him to. I, uh, thought it'd be a nice gift?...”
Cheryl's mouth dropped agape. “You want to get married?”
Ian gulped, inhaling sharply for a second. He had spent all his years insisting that, even though it was not unlikely he would settle down with someone, he didn't think he'd get married. This was the reason why his relationship with Melanie had failed, after all, and one of the reasons why he and Pam had broken up as well. Ian had always been of the belief that paperwork wasn't what made a relationship more real and only served to hurt more if things went askew down the line, and this was another thing both his exes weren't fan of. Ian always thought a step ahead, not necessarily believing the worst would happen but simply thinking it could happen and taking a few preventive measures for it. Marriages were also so big, so huge, a lot of things to prepare and a big gesture Ian had never really been super comfortable with. Simply thinking about writing vows had always been enough to make his skin tingle uncomfortably.
“I mean…It's Anthony. He, uh, he likes big gestures, you know, and he always dreamed of getting married, so I thought he would like it…Maybe?”
Anthony, with whom Ian had been through more than he ever would with anybody else. Anthony, who had seen him at his worst and best all throughout his life and still accepted him. Anthony, who always looked at him like he hung all the stars in the sky and left flowers on his desk, kissed every freckle on his face and always declared his love without limits. Anthony, who Ian felt the most comfortable with.
If there was one person Ian could see his life merging with, it was him. Ian didn't really see any way for them to ever be apart again. If it didn't work with Anthony, then it wouldn't work with anybody else. Ian was ready to take that risk, to step into this huge thing and show Anthony that he loved him just as much.
“You better be prepared for next Christmas already, because I don't think you'll ever be able to top this year's if that's what you do,” Cheryl answered with a huge smile on her face. She couldn't help but motion Ian to get up, which he did, and step closer in order to hug him. She could feel tears threatening to leak from her eyes at the joy she felt for her son, the pride she had of how far he came. She knew Ian wasn't one to show his affection very often, especially not in such a huge manner, but she couldn't imagine it happening with anybody else but Anthony. And if he was ready for such a step, then that meant he was happy. Cheryl was so, so happy for him and for the boy she considered a second son, too.
“Mom, I can't breathe…”
Cheryl regretfully let go of her son and wiped a tear at the corner of her eyes.
“I'm so happy for you, Oh My God. I can't believe my baby is getting married.”
“Mom! I didn't even ask him yet…I don't even know if he'll say yes!”
“Don't be silly,” she retorted as she swatted him sweetly. “It's Anthony. You know he will.”
Then, a thought entered her head. “Wait…Were you two already dating when you shot the announcement video?”
Ian shyly nodded.
“You little sneaky thing!” Once again, Cheryl swatted him softly. “I knew he was looking at you weirdly! I couldn't stop thinking he was looking at you like a man in love. And he was!”
“Sorry,” Ian chuckled sheepishly as he scratched his neck. “We didn't want to blow it off too soon. We wanted to take our time and keep it private until we'd be sure everything was good, and uh, yeah, it is now.”
“I can see that, considering you're gonna ask him to marry you.”
Ian smiled, shyly. “Well, uh, I was gonna ask you, you know, a few pieces of advice. I'm not so sure what to do…”
“Oh, sweetie, it's really simple. Just buy a ring that you know he'll love, bring him somewhere cute or that has significance for you two, and tell him how much you love him and what he means to you! Knowing Anthony, it'll be more than enough for him. Especially coming from you.”
Ian nodded, his hand instinctively coming to pat the box he kept inside of his pockets. The ring, he had bought long ago, but had been too much of a coward to plan anything about it until now.
“I…Yeah, I think I can do that. It shouldn't be too hard.”
Ian could. It was Anthony. Even if things didn't go perfectly, he would forgive Ian. He deserved to be told all those things Ian always thought, and there were a few places he had in mind already, anyway. He would just have to choose one.
“Anthony's kind of cliché, hopeless romantic guy, isn't he?”
“Uh? Oh, uhm, yeah, yeah he really is…”
“If you really want to go all out, you could even ask his mom for permission. I know it sounds silly, but that's what your dad did for me, and it made me want to marry him even more. Anthony's mom will be so happy to know you two are together too, and she'll give you her blessing.”
Ian cringed at first. This was such an outdated and sexist tradition that it didn't even cross his mind in all the sleepless nights he pulled thinking about this lately. Yet, there was something kind of charming about it that he thought Anthony could like. It could show his boyfriend how much he cared, how much he meant to him and how important he was. Maybe…Maybe Anthony would like this. It wasn't such a bad idea, even if it seemed a little silly. After all, they were far from conventional.
“That's…That's not dumb. I could do that…I think he'd like it.”
The smile on Cheryl's lips did not vanish or falter at all as she stared at her son's sheepish but hopeful face. She fought back the tears threatening to overcome her once again and instead reached out to pull Ian into her arms.
“Whatever you do, I’m sure he’ll be super happy. I’m so happy for you, too. I love you so much.”
Ian’s face didn’t become any less red, but he ignored it in favor of wrapping his arms around his mom. “I love you too, mom. Thank you.”
And he meant it. He had spent hours worrying about being accepted, even if he logically knew his mom would be happy for them. Still, it felt good to know his worries had been unfounded. Now, all he had to worry about was getting Anthony to tell him yes.
“He better be your husband when we see him on the 25th.”
Ian couldn’t help but laugh at his mom’s serious expression. A fond smile grew on his lips.
“I hope he will.”