Chapter Text
Kanade had seen much of the world; she had seen the sorrows of the children and the plights of the people. She had seen the way that society hated and loved each to their fullest extent and both of them so different to one another and yet so similar. She had seen the birth of new loved ones into homes and hearts of warmth and she had seen death and she knew that all too well. She knew about the suddenness of it and the way that people thought it was so sudden, she remembered her own feelings about her mother’s death and how it was too soon.
But when you were dying? It wasn’t soon enough and time passed slowly, and the rope around her ankle and everything else burnt and the blood going to her head and the way the world spun.
The snow looked prettier that day than it ever had and Kanade was finally appreciating the finer things in life like people wanted and moaned at her for not doing. It was a little too late she supposed so she was glad to do it anyway.
She took one last breath and the sun on the snow was the last thing she saw.
#
Death felt weird. It was too much like real life even the smells of death and the way that her hands were able to grip onto something as she struggled to open her eyes. They barely opened up enough for her to see what clothes she was in, much less the afterlife or the inside of her casket. Though, she supposed she would be in a pool with other bodies around her if she did die because people were hypocritical and haters.
“I don’t get why she’s here,” someone stated coldly and maybe Kanade thought she had went to hell. Or whatever variation of an afterlife was similar to that.
“The princess wanted to help her and we are duty bound, Mafuyu.”
“Don’t call me that,” the first voice snapped. The other voice laughed and Kanade heard some chinking and clanking as they moved and a flurry of fabric.
“Alright then Yuki, we are duty and honour bound. You signed up for this when you became an archer, and you know it.”
“Well, unlike you Amia, not all of us have a wonderful relationship with the princess we are forced to serve.”
“You know very well you can leave and Ena would give you that opportunity should you want it. She’s not cruel as you think her to be,” the other one countered and their voice was cold enough it made Kanade shiver and scrunch her eyes up tighter. A movement which alerted the people in the room of the fact that she was awake.
“Good morning,” the most recent speaker said, their voice light and happy, their words no longer clipped and strained. “How are you?”
“You’re speaking to someone who just nearly died as though they were only sleeping,” the other one countered and Kanade forced her eyes to open a little more to look at them and stare at the place she was in.
“Well, Yuki, if you were on the frontlines, you know that this is what someone needs.”
“And you’ve been on the front lines?” the other one – Yuki – countered and Kanade was overwhelmed trying to watch the argument occur between the two of them. Twisting and craning her neck far too often for her own comfort, looking at them intensely.
“You’re overwhelming her,” the pink haired one countered sharply.
“It’s- it’s fine,” Kanade said weakly, her throat sore and dry from the torture and lack of fluids. The person in front of them, Amia she presumed, shook their head vehemently.
“Yuki, tell Ena and the physician our guest is awake. I’ll do all I can to check on her right now.”
Yuki made a sound of disagreement, something lodging in the back of her throat before rolling her eyes and stalking out the room and Kanade felt like she could breathe again. Like before she was listening to some inharmonious harmony that pierced and ripped her ears to shred. Some sort of thing that was in a constant battle with one another to be heard and seen properly. That was how it felt.
But the air was light again and Kanade was left to stare at this knight properly.
The knight was tall, standing at 5”8 foot at a minimum guess with long pink hair that spilled over their shoulders as they bent down and cocked their head, their pretty cherry blossom eyes that stared at her earnestly and with worry. Even with their hands that touched her head, checking for a fever or something, which was reasonable because she did seem weak. More so than normal and her memories of what happened before were blurry at best, the bright, clean and cold snow stuck out at the forefront of her mind the most.
The knight also lacked the confidence and assertion that people would immediately think of for them. The knight, instead, seemed very reserved and hesitant, nervous in their own way, about talking with Kanade from how they shuffled around on their feet and playing with the edge of their skirt and a blue rose that was clumsily stitched to it.
It struck Kanade as odd to notice that, but she needed to focus on something, anything, because her head kept throbbing and she was confused where she was entirely. It had something to do with royalty from the archer and knight and the usage of the status ‘princess’ but Kanade couldn’t put all the pieces together. She had only been visiting this town momentarily, she wasn’t staying there forever and ever. Not in the slightest. She had been planning on going there, listening to the people and trying to create new musics, new songs or ideas. Get to know them enough or not at all and disappear. It was her go to but clearly her original plan had taken a turn.
She looked at herself again and the person in front of her once more and they laughed nervously. “You’re… you’re in the castle,” they offered eventually. “Do you remember much? Anything at all?”
“I’m sorry…”
“It’s fine, you went through quite the ordeal. I suppose,” they returned easily. “I’m Mizuki, Akiyama Mizuki. That first person was Yuki, an archer in the army and one of Princess Ena’s confidants and friends. It’s a pleasure to see you awake, miss.”
“Thank you for talking care of me, Knight Akiyama.” Kanade returned, her voice low and quiet. Her hands wringing around one another and the blanket in front of her, trying to calm her racing heart.
She didn’t intend for this; she didn’t want this to happen. She never wanted to get close to nobility because it was dangerous for a hermit like her with her different biology, the way she spoke, her nomad manner and-
“We don’t discriminate in the castle. We try not to, some of us don’t fit into conventions. It’s fine to be a hermit, it’s safer here until you know where to go,” Mizuki said as she went to touch her horns. Making sure they were still in place.
She had heard horror stories of hermits simply being themselves and travelling alone, like she was, and how they would kidnap them and cut off their horns. Subject them to pure agony with no reprieve, though regular people did not know the best methods of anaesthesia, and made them bleed to death. Forcing them to conform to societal norms and pretending to be humans and normal when they were not before being killed because they were freaks and hated. They were despised and strange.
It was awful to live with being the kind and gentle soul that she knew she was. It was worse when she knew that there was no difference between her and humans because she was just like them but with horns. They were her only difference from humans and regular society. She spoke their language, she knew their culture, they danced the same dances and sung the same songs. They felt and created a sense of community in the same way that people did with villages and towns that were scattered all over the countryside. They were similar to them in every way with their own rituals and hierarchy, but they were despised by others because they were not conventional.
“Oh… okay…”
She shuffled around uncomfortably and the Knight sighed. “I’ll leave you to get some rest.” They decided, getting up and glancing back at them. “Rest up for the moment, the physician will be on the way.”
Kanade nodded sleepily, her eyes fluttering once more, and sleep was within reach and it felt good to be at peace.