Chapter Text
THEN:
A small silver haired boy from a non-well-known orphanage had only been five when he was adopted into the wealthy and prestigious Yoshida family. He had never known his own parents, so getting adopted into a family, though not his own, made him happy. Yoshida Shouyou, the head of the family, had never gotten married and he had no siblings of his own. No one would be the next heir if something were to ever happen to Shouyou, and so he adopted a kid.
The boy had never shown any signs of being frail nor weak when he was younger. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He was lively, obnoxious and loud. Even though he never had a lot of friends, he would still try and get along with the other kids, but get shunned in the end because he wasn’t a true Yoshida.
Shouyou, upon seeing this, decided to let him take piano lessons. At least this way, he would have something to do rather than staring at the window and play by himself whenever he gave up on trying to get along with the other kids. He agreed to take the lessons, and so Shouyou got Kondo Isao to teach him the piano.
Learning the piano was a pure bliss for the small boy. Through his lessons and recitals, he met two other boys from two of the most powerful families in the country; Shinsuke Takasugi and Katsura Kotaro. The three of them quickly became friends since they all liked doing the same thing: playing the piano.
However, as the years passed by, the two boys couldn’t help but notice that the small, silver haired boy grew paler and weaker each day. When the two confronted him about this one day, he’d said it was because he was tired. There were times when the boys would notice him randomly staying still, hand on his chest and wincing, as though it hurt to breathe. They asked him what was wrong, but he assured them that it was nothing, and though reluctantly, they put it in the back of their minds.
Now they were aged fifteen, and were waiting patiently for their turn before they went to compete for their piano recitals. Kondo was telling them not to be nervous and that it was just like playing in front of their parents and house guests during special occasions.
Katsura had been observing the boy ever since they’d gotten here. He knew his condition – whatever it was – was worsening. He would wince more frequently and then, when he thought no one was looking, he would subtly start clawing at the skin of his chest. This definitely had caught Katsura’s attention. Unfortunately, just as he was about to ask him about it, he was called up onto the stage, leaving him very concerned about his friend.
Soon it was Takasugi’s turn and finally, the silver haired boy. A tremor passed through his entire body, cold sweat trailing down his back. His chest ached as his heart beat furiously against it and swallowed thickly as he teetered on stage. Stars were dancing in his eyes as he faced the judges, bowed– very ungracefully, because he could barely see what was in front of him – and wobbled his way towards the piano.
Trying to calm his nerves down, he took three deep breaths and began to play. His fingers were stiff from nervousness at first, but slowly disappeared as he eased into playing. His piece was one of the hardest to play, which made everything a lot more difficult and challenging for him. But he had been practicing it for so long, so what could go wrong, right?
Kondo Isao had always liked the way the boy played the piano; so elegant and sophisticated. He put all his emotions into playing the piano. But he was not playing like that today. After the four minute mark, where the notes slowly get faster, he knew something was wrong. The boy was off-key, and then there was a pause. What came after was a horrible sound, like a random set of keys being smashed – and then there was nothing, except for the image of the silver-haired boy passed out on stage burned into their minds.
**********
NOW:
Sakata Gintoki, the same silver haired boy from ten years ago, was not an ambitious man. He had passion and dedication for playing music, but other than that, nothing. He loved and enjoyed it when he had to play music for other people.
Because of the heart condition he was diagnosed with when he was fifteen, he didn’t really get the chance to go out as often. Shouyou would let him go out every now and then, but he had to be with someone, whether it be Katsura and Takasugi or a bodyguard. He wasn’t allowed to do any strenuous work either, and he had to take pills every now and then.
Though he wasn’t allowed to go out, save for his piano lessons, Katsura and Takasugi would often sneak into his room and keep him company. They’d been friends for so long, Gintoki couldn’t even imagine a life without them. Speaking of which, they should be entering his room by now. Gintoki sat up straight on his bed and eyed the opened window right in front of his bed.
Moments later, Katsura came flying in with Takasugi hot on his trail. He was screaming for help, but Gintoki just laughed, feeling refreshed and happy for what felt like forever. Since his last visit to the doctor, he had been strictly prohibited from doing any physical activities that could cause distress to his heart.
“What’d you do this time, Zura?” He asked.
“Nothing!” the long haired boy shot back a little too quickly.
“He put fire ants! In my shoes!” said Takasugi angrily.
“Hey, at least it wasn’t your pants,” Gintoki replied and burst out in laughter.
“Why are you always taking his side?” Takasugi complained.
“’Cause he’s an idiot,” Gintoki winked at him.
“He-!” Katsura was about to retort when Takasugi cut him off.
“Did you hear the news?”
“What news?”
“There’s a new student joining our group today. His name is Hijikata Toushirou, and he’s a violinist. I heard he’s really close to Kondo Isao. But rumours say he was an illegitimate child thou-”
Takasugi immediately shut up when Gintoki looked at him. He’d forgotten Gintoki was a child who came from neither a rich nor poor family. He was just an orphaned kid with no parents and living relatives.
“Anyways,” he cleared his throat, subtly diverting the attention from what he’d been about to say. “He’s coming to our lessons today. I’ve never seen him, but I heard he was a very short tempered man. Some said he even comes off as rude and obnoxious, but I want to see it for myself.”
“Where’s Go-…I mean Kondo-san, anyway? Wasn’t he supposed to be here like fifteen minutes ago?” Gintoki wondered out loud, scratching his head. He’d never liked his natural wavy perm even when he was a child. They were silver, yes, which made him very distinguishable and easily recognizable among people, but they just annoyed him. No matter how many times he tried to fix them, no matter how much gel he tried to apply on his head until he went bald, they just revert back to being the perpetually messy perm again. He’d given up on it a long time ago, so whenever he had to perform, he just kept it as it is, even if it was hiding his incredibly handsome face.
“I texted him before we – ahhhh!” There was a loud buzz and Katsura yelped from shock, as he had put his phone on vibrate. Clutching his chest, he dug in his pockets for his phone. “Kondo-san said he’s out in the front.”
“Cool, let’s go get him.” Gintoki threw the covers off and slipped off the bed, glad to finally be able to walk around and get blood pumping in his legs. He was actually quite excited to see this Hijikata. He felt like they were similar, somehow. And if what Takasugi said was true – maybe he could finally found someone who felt and suffered the same way he did.
“Oi, don’t forget your pills,” Katsura reminded him as he rushed to the door.
“Right! Almost forgot,” he took a deep breath, slightly irritated as he went back towards his bedside table. His bedroom was really plain, actually. He had a keyboard in the corner of his room, and stacks of books practically littered his room. Shouyou had gotten them for him to read whenever he was bored, but he was only ever interested in the comic books and manga that somehow ended up in the pile, so most of them were left untouched and dusty.
Gintoki grabbed it swiftly and shook it slightly, just to see if it still has pills inside. It was almost half-empty and it was enough to last him at least a few days at most, depending on his heart. He pocketed it, and whistling, headed towards the door.
****
Gintoki regretted not bringing a muffler or something to keep him warm the moment he stepped outside. No one told him it was going to be this cold! Even wearing layers on top of layers weren’t working! Trying not to show his irritation, he shoved his hands in his coat and walked down the porch.
“Heya, Gin-san, Katsura-san, Takasugi-san!” Kondo greeted them cheerfully.
“Hi, Kondo-san,” Katsura greeted him back, just as cheerfully.
“You’re late,” Takasugi said. He was so straightforward.
“Sorry, I had to go over to the Hijikatas to pick up the new student joining us today,” he said apologetically, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.
“Uh guys, can we chat later?” Gintoki cut them off before the conversation got too long. “If you haven’t noticed, it is negative something degree out here and I’m currently freezing my butt off.”
“Right, sorry,” he replied, smiling sheepishly. “And to answer your question, Katsura, no – I dropped him off at my place already. He’s sort of a loner."
The four of them quickly made their way towards the car and Gintoki got in way before Kondo even managed to open his door; he was just that eager to get out of the cold. Without even looking through a mirror, he knew that his nose and ears were probably red. It always happened to him whenever it got too cold. Katsura was suddenly seated next to him, then Takasugi went in last.
“So, what about this Hijikata boy?” Takasugi asked, folding his arms together. “I heard you were close to him.”
“Yeah, I was friends with his brother.” Kondo turned on the heater, which made Gintoki feel a little relieved.
“So is it true?” Gintoki pressed on this time, “is he really an illegitimate chil- ouch!” He yelled out as Katsura elbowed him hard on the side.
“Don’t ask things so straightforward like that, what are you going to do when you actually meet him?”
“Well obviously, I’ll pester him to talk more- okay, okay, I was joking!” Gintoki raised his hands in defeat when he shot a glare at him. Katsura was a really polite person – he often took great care not to offend anyone – and he was also very talented. Some even called him a genius prodigy just for his talent to play piano and Gintoki had to admit that he admired him for that. Katsura surpassed him when it comes to playing.
There was a long, awkward silence after that. Gintoki didn’t know why all three of them were sitting at the back when the shotgun seat was open. He was trying to think of a topic to talk about when Kondo broke the silence.
“How’s that recital of yours going, Gin-san?” he asked, looking at him through the rearview mirror.
Recital…oh yeah, he was supposed to practice one of Chopin’s pieces. He’d forgotten all about it until now. Was he supposed to show Kondo-san how well he’d been practicing today?
“Uh – fine, I guess. I’m still having a bit of complications with it,” he lied, looking away as Kondo looked at him again.
“Good, you better be practicing that piece,” Kondo said slowly, as though he suspected that Gintoki was lying. “You might perform next month.”
That certainly caught his attention, because he quickly looked up and shouted very loudly, “WHAT?!” before the car made a sharp turn, making Gintoki accidentally bite his tongue. “AHHH! I BIH MY HONGUE!”
They all burst out laughing, except for Gintoki, who was busy squirming in his seat, trying to get rid of the pain. At one point Kondo had to pull over and stop the car because he was laughing too hard. Katsura doubled over, his hair all over his face. Takasugi looked like he was trying hard to fight a smile, since he had a really ugly expression on his face.
Laughs filled the car for a whole two minutes. Gintoki didn’t want to admit it, but it made him happy. He hadn’t seen or interacted with people in such a long time because he was mostly holed up in his room getting “rest” – whatever that meant. If resting meant getting better, then he was definitely not resting. From the looks of it, he wasn’t getting any better. If anything, he was getting worse. But it’s been a long time since he’s last visited the doctor, so he could’ve progressively gotten better.
A loud phone call abruptly stopped everyone’s laughs. It was Kondo-san’s phone, and from the way it was vibrating, it looked like the person calling was really pissed off. Kondo answered it and everyone heard the yelling before he even put it against his ear.
“Where the fuck are you? Do you want me to fucking wait here forever until you get those students of yours? If you don’t arrive here in exactly ten fucking minutes I’m going to leave this house!”
“Toushi, calm down. We’re pulling over the driveway right now.”
“I don’t fucking see you! I’m looking out of the window right now, if you didn’t know. I can see who is coming and who isn’t!”
Before Kondo managed to open his mouth, he had hung up already. With a look of conflict on his face, he started driving again, just a tad faster than their original pace.
The vulgar language of the caller had left them all speechless. They all came from wealthy, prestigious families, were all taught to be elegant, sophisticated, polite even, but the anonymous caller just seemed like they cared about none of those morals they’d been taught since they were kids.
“Uh,” Gintoki cleared his throat, trying to lighten up the mood in the car. “Was that…Hijikata-kun?”
“Unfortunately, yes,” Kondo gave a deep sigh.
“Wow, I knew he was obnoxious and rude, but I didn’t expect him to be like that. Guess the rumours were right,” Takasugi intervened.
“Toushi’s fine, really. He’s just…complicated, but he’s an alright kid once you get to know him,”
“After that phone call? Goodness, no, I’m never going to get to know him better,” he scowled, and looked at the window.
Katsura merely sighed and Gintoki could sense there was tinge bit of irritation in it. But he paid no heed to it as they finally rounded the corner and Kondo’s house came into view. Well, a ‘house’ seemed to be a bit of an understatement. It was huge, it looked exactly like one of those ‘rich people’ house you see on TV. The house must’ve had at least three floors with about a hundred rooms. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but the house – no, mansion – was actually pretty big.
Kondo parked the car just outside the gate; Gintoki guessed that the man was probably just too lazy to really park it in the driveway. He stepped out of the car first, gaping at the large mansion towering over him as if attempting to intimidate him. Really, no matter how many times he’s visited Kondo’s place, he could never stop staring at his mansion in awe. Gintoki himself has never even visited all the rooms there!
“I wonder how much money Kondo-san’s got to buy a mansion this huge,” Katsura whistled, stuffing his own ungloved hands in his pockets. Though the sun was up and shining, it seemed to have been defeated by the cold weather.
The four of them stepped onto the sidewalk and waited for the guard to open the gate. As they were waiting, Gintoki looked at the mansion, his gut twisting in anticipation to meet this Hijikata Toushirou person. No sooner than later, the guard finally opened the gate and let them in.
As they were walking, he observed the mansion. It still looked pretty much the same since the last time he’d visited, what with the cream coating of the paint shining that seemed to envelop the house and the uniquely twisted fencing and neatly trimmed hedges surrounding it. The roof was peaked, slanting down at an angle. The windows had royal purple curtains hanging on the other side of them, usually drawn so that the sunlight could stream through. The mansion even had amarble fountain sitting towards the right side of the lawn. An angel holding a flower was perched on top, looking up towards the sky. Water spurted from its other hand, which lay gently out in front of it, as if waiting for someone to take it in return. The water fell gently towards the crystal blue pool beneath it, causing ripples to form and wave out until they were no more. They walked towards the extravagant house, down the little stone path to the door. Katsura was in front of them, so he had to be the one to jab the doorbell.
“This is my house, Zura, no need to ring the doorbell,” Kondo said and weaved through them. He pushed open the door and Gintoki was immediately greeted with the marble floor and the staircase that was split into two opposite corners of the room. In the middle lay another fountain, just smaller than the one outside.
“Hijikata should be upstairs in the music room,” he said after shrugging off his clothes. “Go on up, I’ll just ask the maid something.”
The three nodded and went up the stairs. Gintoki’s own house wasn’t this big so it made him feel a bit out of place, but it was comforting in its own way.
“What do you think that Hijikata lad looks like?” Katsura wondered out loud.
“Hmm, I imagine he’s just as ugly as his personality,” Takasugi yapped loudly as they turned a corner and stopped in front of the door to the music room.
Gintoki felt extremely nervous. He’d been wiping his sweaty palms on his pants repeatedly ever since they went up the stairs. For what reason, he did not know. Perhaps it’s because of the fear of making a bad impression; but Gintoki had never really felt like that before. Maybe it was the rumours and the things they’ve said about him that made him nervous. Or maybe it was just his head playing tricks on him and he wasn’t actually anxious or anything like that.
Swallowing thickly, he stepped forward and reached for the handle. But then he stopped. He could hear something from the music room. It was faint, but definitely there. Gintoki leaned forward and pressed his ear against the mahogany door.
What he heard reminded him of something melancholic and bittersweet. Though the music was really good, it created a sad, lonely feeling pooling in his gut. His throat tightened. With this, he could feel the musician’s feelings. He could feel the musician’s hope turn into despair, happiness turn into sadness, liveliness into emptiness, love into heartbreak and a swirling vortex of loneliness and longing.
“Gintoki, you’ve been standing there for the past five minutes,” Katsura said, breaking the silence, much to Gintoki’s dismay. “What are you doing?”
“I think Hijikata-kun is playing music inside,” he said, licking his parched lips.
“Knock?” Katsura suggested.
“I don’t wanna knock, what if he kills me!” he protested, oblivious to the fact that the music had stopped and was instead replaced with shuffling feet inside the room.
“Why are you so nervous, anyway? He’s just a person!”
Why was Gintoki feeling like this anyway? Katsura was right. There was nothing to worry about. Hijikata Toushirou was just a man, a normal man who played instruments and loved music. The silver-haired man took deep breaths and pushed the door open.
The door opened with a slow creak and the three of them stepped in. Suddenly, Gintoki’s nervousness faded away into nothingness, as though it weren’t even there. Seeing the grand piano laying in the middle of the room and a few other instruments before him made him feel relieved. The music room made him feel at ease, more comfortable and at home.
“Who the hell’s ya?” an unfamiliar voice said from behind him.
“YAH!” Katsura shouted, backing away so fast his head collided with Gintoki’s chin.
“That hurt, you idiot!” Gintoki shouted, rubbing his chin that was slowly turning red.
“Well, ain’t ya a force to be reckoned with,” the voice said again, and this time Gintoki finally looked at him. He was a tall man with dark green hair and v-shaped bangs covering his deep, deep blue eyes. He wore casual clothing, dressed in all black. Gintoki had no idea why, but he immediately felt drawn to him. Perhaps it was because he was extremely handsome, or perhaps it was because of his eyes that had different shades of blue. But the more he looked at them, the more he realized that his eyes looked…empty.
“Might you be Hijikata Toushirou?” Katsura asked politely.
“Yeah,” Gintoki watched as he reached into his pockets and pulled out a cigarette from a packet. He raised it to his lips and lit it up.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Takasugi asked, glaring at him with such ferocity even the toughest animal would cower away in fear.
“Smoking?” he said sarcastically as he exhaled smoke out.
“Why are you smoking in someone else’s house?”
“Kondo-san lets me smoke when I’m here,” he shrugged nonchalantly.
Takasugi looked like he was about to say something, but Gintoki cut him off with a sharp look. He cleared his throat and took a step towards Hijikata. “I’m Sakata Gintoki,” he said and extended his hand.
Hijikata looked at his outstretched hand, but did not shake it. Instead, he just blew out more smoke. Though his handshake was rejected, Gintoki continued talking.
“This here is Katsura Kotarou,” he said pointing at his long-haired friend. “Call him Zura for short.”
“It’s not Zura, it’s Katsura!” he complained softly but Gintoki only chuckled at him.
“The gloomy one over here is Takasugi Shinsuke,” he said, pointing at his friend who was scowling so much it honestly looked like it was permanent. “He’s kind of…well, you already saw it. But he’s not so bad.”
“Mhmm,” Hijikata hummed, leaning against the piano. He huffed out more smoke and jabbed his cigarette into the ash tray. The three of them watched in silence as he pulled one out again.
“Isn’t that unhealthy?” Katsura asked out loud. “Chain smoking is bad for your health.”
“I don’t really care.” Hijikata shrugged as he blew out more smoke. “Where’s Kondo-san anyway? I'm gonna fucking kill him for making me wait so long.”
“Were you the one playing the violin earlier?” Gintoki asked abruptly and Hijikata fell silent. He gave one last, long drag on his cigarette and stubbed it into the ash tray.
“Nope,” he replied blankly, as he walked across the room. “Just something I was playing on my phone.”
“Oh,” was all Gintoki could say.