Archive of Our Own

– – –

“It’s not…not cold.”

“Then why are you shivering?” Shu laughed, eyeing the man on the porch of his family home. “Come back inside!”

“It’s not NOT cold,” Luca insisted. “N-not.” He shuffled in a circle like he was slow-roasting in the sunlight, getting every glint in his golden hair and trying to warm his outstretched, bare arms. “Shu, it’s not-not NOT not cold!”

“What does that mean?” Shu’s voice shook in a laugh on the last word. “You’re not in Australia anymore, it’s actually winter! Did you only pack t-shirts?”

“No, of course!” Luca’s accent dragged through the vowels. “Of course not!”

“Grab a coat! Or I’ll lend you one of mine.”

“There’s no going back, Shu! We’re out touching grass now. I can’t go back.”

That was the bit right now, ‘I have to touch grass or I’ll die!’, which was silly since Luca had just been outside yesterday. Technically he hadn’t even made it to the grass yet, but Shu played along, rummaging through the closet near the front door.

His hands paused on heavy, brown wool as he hesitated – would it fit okay? – but he grabbed it anyway.

“Oh, thank you, Shu!” Luca exclaimed, accepting the coat with icy fingers and wriggling into it, his smile beaming. “It’s warm!”

“Yippee,” Shu remarked, averting his eyes. Uh, to lock the door, right. He locked it.

–

Luca noticed Shu’s coats fit much better on their owner; navy plaid hugging his body, his shoulders broad, some kind of half-belt in the back to cinch his waist? Wow. “You’re kind of a fashion guy, huh?”

“What?”

Suddenly Shu’s eyes were on him, all wide and violet, making a self-conscious laugh bubble up in Luca’s chest as his eyes darted away, shy. “My coats aren’t this nice!” he tried to explain.

“Oh, my mom made them.”

“M-made?”

“She sews a lot of stuff, yeah.”

“Pog!” Luca ran his eyes and hands over the sturdy brown coat, tugging the cuffs, the buttons, shoving his hands in the pockets to feel the lining. He lifted the collar at his neck to stare at it, and paused. Wow, it smelled really nice – was it cologne, or…?

The moment he pressed it to his nose, he froze, eyes whipping guiltily toward Shu – then he sagged in relief as he saw the man’s back turned, walking down the driveway.

“Your mom is really cool!” Luca commented, trying to stay casual.

“Haha, I’m glad y’all are really getting along. Wasn’t she just saying you’d make a good son-in-law, or something?”

Oh? Why would Shu bring that up? “Aaah, y-yeah! Ha. Wh-how…who am I marrying?” Luca stumbled after Shu.

“One of my sisters, I guess?” Shu offered.

His sisters? Was that a joke? Was his voice strained? His back looked relaxed, but Luca couldn’t see his face.

“Oh.” Luca’s laugh sounded clunky in his ears. He paused, then chuckled through the word, “we-e-eirdge.”

“Yeah, weirdge,” Shu agreed. Oh good, he agreed!

“Where should we go first?” Luca asked, charging ahead of Shu. The tension was too much, he just had to move. “Like, if there’s stuff to do somewhere! Anywhere!”

“Underwear.”

Luca whirled to see Shu’s grin. It was exactly like Shu to shatter all the tension with one silly word. “U-underwear!” Luca cackled. “Underwear!!”

Another couple of pedestrians turned to glance at the loud blonde, and Luca didn’t miss how Shu purposefully ignored it. “Yeah, underwear.” He was so dignified, it only made Luca want to tease, to push a little harder.

He’d have to wait to come up with something else. “Let’s go to underwear, Shu.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

– – –

– – –

The Yamino house was on the edge of the neighborhood, and it was only a few blocks and a big crosswalk to get to the first few shops. Shu couldn’t argue when Luca had insisted on walking instead of taking one of the cars.

The further they went, the more people there were. It wasn’t a big city, more of a college town than anything, but this time of year was one of the busiest. People last-minute shopping for Christmas presents, buying ingredients for big meals, taking selfies with the snowflake decor and colorful lights.

The two of them stopped into one store, then another. Neither of them bought anything, but they both cooed over a display of penguin statues bundled up in hats and scarves.

“Look, this one’s you, Shu!”

“Wait, why?”

“Cause it’s in the house still,” Luca snickered.

“Hey! I’m out with you right now, right?”

“Oh! Yeah, you are,” Luca had to admit.

“I wish I had a hat like that, my ears are freezing.” Shu’s whole face felt like it was burning with the cold.

“Here!” Luca suddenly straightened and cupped his palms over the sides of Shu’s head, covering his ears. “How about that, hm?”

Oh. Shu stood still.

It made everything quieter and blanketed his hearing. The sound of his heartbeat thudded loudly between Luca’s palms. He lowered his eyes from Luca’s grin, staring at the flames tattooed on his exposed neck, noting how his chest rose and fell.

Huh. How long could he get away with staying like this?

–

This close, Luca was on eye level with Shu’s blonde swoop of hair. If he stood a little closer, he could put his chin right on Shu’s head.

Maybe he shouldn’t.

He glanced at Shu’s face – the man was just looking down. Relaxed. A slip of his neck showed under his scarf, long strands of his hair staticky and sticking everywhere.

Luca wanted to drag the scarf off, bare his pretty pale neck, and…t-touch it, somehow…

He definitely shouldn’t.

“Oh. Thanks,” Shu murmured as Luca’s hands moved down to his scarf, adjusting it a little tighter.

The words made Luca look up from the scarf to Shu’s face – and his breath stopped, finding the wide violet eyes staring up at him. So close.

The muscles in Luca’s hands tensed, itching to yank the scarf even tighter, to drag it and that pretty neck up even closer…

“Ah!” Luca shouted louder than he meant to. “Yes, haha, yup!” He nodded enthusiastically, bursting into more laughter and running away.

What? Huh? What was he doing?

He wanted to tease Shu, to catch him off guard by doing something embarrassing. His reactions were always so good. But all the wrong things were coming to mind, and now Luca was the one getting super embarrassed.

Seeing him in person like this made it…well, not different, but like, worse. The way he watched Luca, his face when he laughed at something stupid. His pink ears sticking out from his long hair.

Um…something else, focus on something else. There had to be something else to do, right?

–

“Shu!” Luca burst, standing still. “What’s that? Do you see that?”

Shu tried to see where he was pointing. There was a small crowd and…a tiny ice rink?

“I’ll race you, okay?” Luca’s face was all excitement.

He was already running off before Shu could scold, “Luca!”

It didn’t take long before he sprinted back, huffing. “They’re skating!” he exclaimed, his cheeks red and his lavender eyes sparkling, asking without asking.

Shu felt like he’d say yes to anything those eyes wanted.

Erm. He swallowed down the awkward hiccup of emotion. “But there’s no pond over here. Where’d they get the water from?” Facts, focus on the facts. He looked carefully away from Luca, peering through the crowd.

“I dunno! It’s maybe, like, a plastic board and they made it wet and that’s what froze. Like that, y’know?”

“What? Plastic?” Shu frowned.

“C’mon, don’t you wanna try it? Do you?” Luca’s eyes darted all around Shu’s face, his eyebrows raised, his mouth open in a big wide grin.

The feverish energy was impossible to ignore, his smile infectious. “Yeah, sure!” Shu let himself be dragged forward by the sheer force of Luca.

It really was some big, white plastic board. And it was only $5 to rent some skates. Shu was the first one to step out – and almost immediately landed on his knee, while Luca laughed his ass off.

“Y-you, pffhaha! Shu, you said you knew how to skate!”

“It’s not ice! You try it!” Shu said, a little indignant. It didn’t feel right at all, like…scraping on plastic.

The moment Luca touched the plastic, he started to go down, still in giggles that hadn’t stopped since Shu fell. He made a goofy scream and Shu tried to catch him, but he didn’t want help, sprawling comically before staggering upright like a baby deer.

Despite the antics, it didn’t take long for them to find their bearings and start a glide, joining the other people circling around the little rink.

It was quiet, so Shu searched for words.

‘Are you having fun?’ maybe. Or ‘Thanks for coming to visit.’ How was Luca holding up with the Yamino family’s antics? Shu was grateful to have the blonde with him, but he understood immediately when Luca had asked to get out of the house that morning. Maybe it was all a little too much.

‘Would you really marry one of my sisters?’

Haha, no, where did that thought come from? Shu stared down at his skates.

“Hey Luca. Y’know when I asked you to spend Christmas with me…” The words disappeared. Where was he going with that?

A child’s voice cried out, making Shu glance up – but it was too late, he’d been looking at his shoes and didn’t see the kid in front of them stumble and fall down.

“Ack–” A little cry was all he managed before he was yanked away.

“Careful.” Luca’s voice was soft and close, his shoulder very close, Shu’s arm pinned awkwardly between their bodies. It wasn’t clear who he was talking to, his lavender eyes fixed on something distant, but his words in Shu’s ear.

Oh. Huh?

Silly, flailing Luca was suddenly so steady, braced firmly with arm gripping the safety bar on the wall. Meanwhile, Shu felt very, very unbalanced.

“Oh, sorry!” Luca let go of Shu’s waist, letting the man re-steady himself. “Didn’t want an accident, y’know? You all right?”

“Yeah!” Did his voice crack? Shu tried to give his best reassuring smile, but he wasn’t actually sure what kind of face he was making. “Nice reaction time.”

Luca looked very proud. “No, no, it’s nothing, pff haha!” He skated away, then almost immediately turned back. “Wait, wait, watch this trick!”

–

Just like that, it was back to normal, Luca executing a very ungraceful pirouette, Shu jumping as a trick.

“Bunny hop, whoaaa.”

“Whoa, oh my goshers oh my gosh. How’d you do that?”

There were at least three rounds of, “Do you wanna do one more time? Another loop?” “Like five more minutes, maybe?”, and then Luca sneezed really disgustingly, so Shu led them to a cafe to warm up.

Luca fidgeted with the American dollars in his pocket, watching from a little table while Shu talked to the cashier. A little yellow frog keychain dangled on Shu’s wallet while he touched his card to the payment terminal. The cashier smiled a lot. Too much.

Their eyes met when Shu stepped away – oops, was Luca glaring? He tried to smile, but they just looked away quickly to the next customer.

Oh, man.

Luca crumpled the dollars. He’d made sure to get them converted from his AUD at the airport, he was more than capable of paying for some drinks.

As soon as Shu joined him, Luca burst, “Are you sure I can’t pay? Like, actually?”

Shu paused in the middle of setting a little numbered sign on their table, then smiled, his eyebrows pinching. “Of course, Luca,” he chuckled, sitting. “Save your money for something else.”

“But, you know. I have a lot of money, haha.”

“Oh, a lot?” Shu repeated.

“Yeah, actually.” Luca stared at the table, fists in his pockets. “Like, it’s the least I can do after staying at your house and all that. Crashing your family Christmas, you know? Like that.”

He wasn’t a mooch, or immature. He had his own income, and he didn’t feel right just taking favors from Shu without giving anything back.

Reciprocation felt very important.

“No? What do you mean, Luca? You’re the one helping me, here.”

“Helping you? But Shu, you…”

Shu had been the one who’d noticed Luca would be alone for Christmas.

Since he’d moved out on his own, and circumstances with his family were…strained and complicated, to say the least, Luca would be alone for the first Christmas in his life.

But Shu, being Shu, had somehow figured out how to casually offer his own home and family. Just – “Hey, well you could always come here. My mom’s always saying she wants to meet you. It would be the perfect time, actually. Just think about it, y’know?”

And then Luca was in the airport.

And then Shu was there. Solid and real.

So solid that he let Luca crash straight into him, laughed as Luca tackled him, stumbled only a little. He didn’t mind anything. When Luca steadied him, suddenly noticing the weight of Shu’s body in his hands and yanking back, shy and stammering incoherently – Shu didn’t miss a beat.

He shoved Luca right back.

He laughed and scolded, and pushed him, and Luca fell without moving an inch.

Shu’s half-hearted shove didn’t actually make Luca move, but the timing of it – just when Luca was cringing at having full-body-tackled someone who he’d technically just met for the first time, Shu pushed him right back, and Luca fell down a lot and very hard.

Reciprocation meant everything was okay.

It wasn’t the first time Luca had fallen like that, and now, with Shu right here, it kept happening more and more.

…Was it bad that Luca wanted reciprocation that badly? A reciprocation that might mean something else…

One of the cafe staff set down their drinks and retrieved the little number marker. “Here you are, gentlemen! Can I get you anything else?”

“No, thank you,” Shu smiled, and Luca grinned as big as he could, too.

As the employee walked away, Luca grabbed the big ceramic mug, feeling it hot in his hands. “Shu, you’re the one who keeps doing everything for me.”

“Hey, that’s not true. Buying you a drink is the least I can do after you flew all the way over here to save me from my family Christmas.”

Luca just looked confused, so Shu continued. “It’s like I was saying before, they’re a little…you know. I love them, but it can be a lot.

“Like my sister freaking out over the cookies this morning, and my parents arguing about church, and you just…kinda noticed and said we should go out. It means a lot, I’m really grateful to have you here. I mean, you dropped everything and paid for a plane ticket just to come hang out with me. International flights aren’t cheap.”

“It’s not that bad, I don’t have to pay for a hotel or food, or anything,” Luca noted.

“So it’s even, then, right? You paid for the plane, I can pay for food. Haha, to make it even…” Shu stared down at his drink. “Maybe I’ll come visit you next,” he muttered and immediately bent to sip from his mug.

Next? Oh.

Shu knew Luca lived alone. Or maybe it didn’t mean…

When Shu straightened, there was a little foam on his upper lip. He eyed Luca questioningly, licking his lips, which made Luca’s chest tighten so hard it hurt.

Oh man, oh man, Luca should say something, not just keep staring, but–

“Are you gonna drink yours?” Shu asked.

“Oh.” Luca inhaled sharply, then nearly spilled on himself and definitely burnt his tongue on his spiced cider. “Ow! It’s hot,” he whined, trying to break up all the tightness. Why did it keep getting so tense?

“Owie owie, it’s so hot,” Luca kept complaining, sliding his drink across the table towards Shu. “Quick, let me try yours.”

“Mine is hot, too!” Shu laughed, but he offered it anyway. “Be careful.”

It was deeper, more earthy. An earl gray latte with cinnamon and bergamot, while Luca’s drink was basically just fancy apple juice. It felt fitting.

Their eyes met as they drank. With the way they’d passed the drinks, Luca’s lips wouldn’t touch where Shu’s had, and neither would Shu’s.

But it was close.

“It’s good, right?”

“Yeah!”

– – –

– – –

Their drinks were emptied in between silly chatter. Just as they walked to the door, Luca shouted, “Shu! Look!”

Shu followed his wide-eyed gaze out the window and saw a flurry of snow starting to fall.

“Shu!” This time Luca nearly whispered, sounding breathless. “It’s snow.”

“Haha, yup. It’s snow, Luca.” Shu didn’t mean to laugh, but he couldn’t help the little bubble that welled up when he saw Luca’s entire face glittering with joy.

“Wait, really? Really for real? No, actually?” Luca’s voice pitched up. He shifted on his feet, fumbling to button up the brown coat he’d borrowed from Shu.

“It looks like it. We can go touch it and find out,” Shu offered, opening the door.

“Oh my gosh no way.” Luca’s voice went strained and squeaky, silly like he was joking, but there was no hiding his genuine excitement.

Luca stood still the moment he got outside, letting a few flakes fall on his golden hair and melt on his cheeks. Shu watched his breath ghost in the air once, twice.

“It’s cold.”

“That’s how you know it’s real,” Shu said. He stuck out his tongue, catching a few of the huge flakes that fell from the sky.

“You’re eating it?” Luca stared at him. “Gross!”

“What do you mean, gross? You try it.”

“No way!” Luca refused, and immediately tilted his head back, sticking his tongue out. He made a displeased sound with his mouth open. “Ihs old!”

“What?” Shu laughed.

“Ihs old!” Luca insisted before putting his tongue back. He smacked his lips a few times. “This is like a movie. Like not real, you know?”

“Not real?” Shu asked.

“Not for real!”

“Haha. But it is! Here it’s for real, Luca!”

“Oh! P-pog.” Luca stared at Shu for a moment with a dazed-looking smile.

And then he ran off.

“Winter, real!” he shouted. “Christmas, like, reaaal!” he laughed through the word, running awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, stomping through the crunching white powder.

After rushing a little ways down the sidewalk, he crouched to stare at the ground.

There was already a thin layer of snow, and more and more falling fast. It must’ve started when they were in the cafe. Shu wandered to a windowsill where it had piled up just enough to ball between his hands.

He aimed right for Luca’s butt, sticking out where he crouched.

“OW!” Luca shouted, whirling with a huge smile. “Oh, you’re gonna regret that, Mr. Yamino,” he lowered his voice playfully.

“Oh yeah?” Shu laughed. “Make me.”

There wasn’t really enough to have much of a snow fight yet, but they did their best anyway, throwing handfuls and shouting, Luca running and Shu dodging under and around him.

“Shu, look!” Luca skidded to a halt at a street lamp decorated with a wreath. “Look, look, look!”

“Oh, yeah!” Shu called, hurrying to catch up. “It’s getting covered.”

“It’s so pretty.” Luca’s voice was so gentle, his lavender eyes huge. Blonde hair speckled with snow shifted around his cheeks. His lips were soft with awe, a little slack, big puffs of breath fogging in the air.

Shu bit his tongue to keep from saying something cheesy – but Luca beat him to it.

“You know what else is pretty?” Luca asked. His voice was still soft, but his eyes moved to Shu, glittering.

Shu tried to breathe. Hold on, wait, what? That was the exact stupid, cheesy thing he was about to say to Luca. Surely he wasn’t…

“…What?” Shu asked.

Luca stepped closer still, right up to Shu and raised his hand – and suddenly Shu tried backing away, but it was too late – and Shu yelped, getting a fistful of half-melted snow shoved into the front of his jacket.

“You’re pretty, pretty cold!” Luca cackled, sprinting away to avoid Shu’s retaliation.

“LUCA!” Shu squawked, shaking his jacket out wildly. Luca was so stupid. Shu was so stupid. What was he thinking would happen? “Get back here so I can fill your pants with snow!”

“Noo!”

It wasn’t long before Luca stopped resisting, encouraging Shu to get him back and then shrieking as Shu shoved snow down his shirt.

“I’m dying,” he moaned, clutching his chest. “You killed me, Shu.”

“Just shake it out!”

“No, you actually murdered me.” Luca staggered against Shu, who tried to steady him, pulling his giant weight upright. In return, he got Luca’s frozen fingers on his cheeks. “Look! It’s so cold. I’m dying, actually.”

“Hey!” Shu exclaimed. “What if I just shoved my hands on you?”

“Do it!” Luca laughed in Shu’s face, curling his knuckles against Shu’s jaw. “Do it, do it!”

“Hi-yah,” Shu muttered, cupping Luca’s cheeks.

Oh. Oh jeez. Well.

Standing still like this, both holding each other’s faces…Shu fought back and forth with an urge to shove his freezing nose against Luca, just for good measure. Or maybe he just wanted to hide from something.

The street was quiet. It felt very alone, way more alone than they had been this whole time, packed into a very full house or surrounded by strangers.

Luca was warm, in a way Shu could never feel when they were half a world apart. Burning hot under Shu’s fingers.

“...See?” Shu demanded, breaking the silence, although he wasn’t sure what he was asking.

But Luca didn’t answer, his expression dark and hard to read as he stared back at Shu.

Shu wavered, but stubbornly held on. “Luca…”

–

Shu sounded like maybe he was asking something, or maybe he was giving a warning.

Luca felt so unreal. Both tense and wobbly, crackling with so much energy. He didn’t know what would happen if he moved, but he felt pretty sure it would ruin everything, so he just stayed very, very still.

Shu looked down, then back up, making energy jolt in Luca’s spine. “Hey, Luca.”

Still neither of them moved. Luca opened his mouth, inhaled sharply, then closed it and exhaled. He tried again, “Shu.”

It was a hushed sound, a little whisper. Like he was asking, or like a warning.

Then Shu’s head fell, his forehead dropping to Luca’s collarbone. Luca went even stiffer. Shu’s hands lowered, too, hovering past Luca’s shoulders, chest, and hips, finally feeling for the pockets in the front of the borrowed coat and resting there.

“Thanks for coming all this way,” Shu said, and his voice was calm and casual, just like normal. “I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, y–” Luca’s voice cracked into a whisper. He cleared his throat. “Yeah, of course.” He tried to be just as casual. Was it working?

“Two more days, right? It’ll be Christmas, and then you leave in the morning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay.” Shu straightened and stood back, like he was satisfied with that.

Luca wasn’t though, not satisfied at all.

Shu laughed a little. “It’s just gonna get even more hectic, you might regret coming here after all!

“No way,” Luca breathed, trying his best not to reach back out to Shu again. He buried his hands in the pockets Shu had just vacated.

Five days wasn’t enough. No way in hell.

“I–” Luca’s voice burst, then cut off. “I think I’ll just regret, like, not doing enough. You know?”

Shu eyed him. “Do I?”

Luca swallowed. “Shu…” There it was again, Luca was saying it like a warning. And he was asking. In another universe, Luca just dropped to his knees and begged for Shu to kiss him, just once. Dear god, please.

There wasn’t a chance. There had never been a chance like this, ever. Not ever. Only in Luca’s imagination. No way it was real. What was he supposed to do if it was real?

But there was no way it was real. Shu wouldn’t…he hadn’t ever said he…really, he just let Luca get away with things because they were friends. Wasn’t that true?

“Luca.” Even though Luca was stone-still, Shu sounded so much steadier. “My fingers are cold again.”

“O-oh.” Luca’s jaw dropped a little, his breaths coming faster before he could help it. “Yeah, yeah yeah.” He accepted Shu’s hands, holding the man’s wrists, bringing them back up to his cheeks.

They really were icy.

Shu’s face really was close. And really, really the prettiest face in the universe, from his temple and the bridge of his nose past his downcast eyes, to his soft, pink lips and his chin. Luca watched a snowflake catch in his dark lashes and melt.

“Okay, thank you,” Shu chirped, drawing back again, still looking down.

Like a tease. He was just going to pull his hands back, all done, back to normal.

But Luca didn’t let him.

No, Luca wasn’t satisfied with that.

“I’m good now, you can let go, Luca.”

“No,” the blonde pouted with the slightest bit of a growl, keeping his grip tight on Shu’s wrists.

Shu’s eyes flashed onto him in an instant. “Not done yet?”

“No,” Luca repeated. He searched Shu’s eyes, but they were as calm as ever.

“Okay. You’re asking for it then, right?”

And then.

Then Shu’s mouth was so close Luca couldn’t see it, only feel it. The whisper of his breath, the faintest brush of his lips as they hovered, and Luca’s own breath crashing heavily, rebounding back to him.

But Shu paused. “Right?”

“Please,” Luca whined before he could stop himself. He clutched Shu’s wrists harder still, not in the right state of mind to worry about bruises. He’d been begging in his mind for so long, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer. “Please, please, Shu, please.”

“Okey,” Shu said cutely, and pressed their lips together.

Luca’s begging hitched straight into a little whine. Magic, Shu was magic. The teasing lit Luca’s nerves on fire, and he burned as Shu leaned into him, gasping when they parted.

“Still not done?” Shu asked, undoubtedly noting Luca’s tightly closed eyes and unyielding grip.

“One more.” A hundred more. A billion.

Shu’s lips worked against him again, then again, parting with satisfying pops and then pushing close again, indulging Luca and stealing all his sanity and breath. Finally Luca’s grip relaxed, just so he could move to hold Shu’s cheeks, brush his ears and through his hair, cup the back of his head. In return, Shu’s hands smoothed along Luca’s neck, like they were feeling for his tattoos.

Oh god, why had he waited this long?

They pulled apart with Shu’s hand on Luca’s heaving chest, and Luca admiring Shu’s bright red cheeks.

“…M-merry Christmas,” Luca stammered, then laughed. What else was he supposed to say? A hundred different thoughts raced in his mind.

Shu laughed too, pushing at Luca. “You’re two days early!”

“Good.” Luca’s brows drew together. “Good! Good. That way I still have two more days where I can…kiss you again before I leave, you know? Right?”

“Right, yeah.” Shu looked down. “But maybe…”

“Yeah?”

“Two days isn’t a lot. So I’ll have to come visit you soon.”

Luca’s heart felt like bursting. “You think so? Don’t you think so? Maybe? Yeah, yeah, really soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Shu chuckled. “We should…really go back to the house and change clothes and, like, eat something.”

“…Five more minutes.”

“Okay.”

– – –