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It is the seventh time now, but who was counting, right? Harvey certainly wasn't.
He hadn't specifically ordered his secretary to prioritize it when it would happen and let all the other work be. It also did not go as far as having his phone in meetings, display up - mind you, and obviously set with his ringtone on - in full volume, of course.
More than once not only Harvey but also his clients jumped because of his ringtone alarming him simply with a new text message. Mostly a stupid meme about old people Mike considered funny and wanted to tease him with. The initial racing of his heart and its connected fear quickly morphing into disappointment, slight frustration, and a heavy sigh. It all followed a shy apology to the client and a promise of it not happening again, silencing his phone with regret. His gut clenched with clicking the switch to silent mode, fearful of missing that important call and not being there.
However, as it was always happening, his secretary would be waiting by the door. The nervous energy she was radiating told him the inevitable.
"Mr. Specter, your wife was called to the elementary school regarding-" Natalie, his secretary, reported but was already interrupted by her boss.
"Say no more. I'll take care of this. In the meantime could you type these up and move my 3 o'clock to tomorrow?" He handed her the files and checked his phone anew.
0 new messages.
0 new calls.
Nothing. Not a single notification was staring back at him. Only his screensaver of Donna who was chasing Nate, while Amelia was chasing her staring back at him.
It felt like a punch in the gut. He was a very attentive father. Anything concerning his family, especially his children, he was the first to jump the gun to be there and protect them. But whenever something happened to either Amelia or Nathan, everyone always called Donna. He wasn't jealous per se, but it stung.
After the birth of his twins, he was helpless. Not in the sense of not helping or being overwhelmed, but he was helpless because he was simply said not needed. Donna provided them with their meals. The first few weeks were the worst when both infants would only settle while being snuggled up on Donna's chest, so attuned to their mother’s heartbeat. Whereas he was just the in-between feeds and changing entertainment. He was lucky even that the changes happened without too much squirming and squawking on the twins' behalf.
Of course, Donna being her amazing self had noticed and once they switched to bottle feeding per her request, it got better. To this day she claimed it was because she couldn't handle it, feeding both without someone always entertaining the other twin, but he knew it was partly for him too. And of course, it helped the skin on skin time, bottle feeding, and getting their munchkins attuned to daddy’s heartbeat as well. It was just a phase he needed to overcome and he did, especially since his bedtime stories are still the only ones that put them to sleep up to this day. His own special superpowers as Donna called it, as well as sometimes teased him that they must be so boring, that they are tiring.
Back in the sanctuary of his office, he fetched the phone out of his pocket again. Still no change.
What did the munchkins do now?
He quickly typed out the message to Donna, frustrated but also defeated that he - once again - had to ask for information like he was some third-party with no involvement in any of this. Damn this stereotype of busy fathers not having enough time to care for their children. While he always thought a reputation, or more likely his own, was only affected by his wins and attractiveness, he quickly had to learn it still affected oneself when married with kids. A father in a high position apparently still has no time for his kids; whereas the mom is always available. His musings and frustrations of society's views were interrupted by the speech bubble appearing.
~ Lia defended Nate against a bully… She's got detention for the rest of the week.
What? Why? She just stood up for her brother.
~ Well, she punched the kid. Definitely a Specter there.
Well… That's my girl. But we'll talk w/ her tonight.
~ And no more boxing sessions with Daddy.
Fine.
Another huff escapes him, a hand running over his face while breathing out, let’s the usually goal-oriented man succumb to his feelings. His armor slipping for a second and showing the vulnerable defeated man that’s hiding underneath. Harvey always said caring makes one weak, and while his family is his soft spot, they are also his strength. But in this particular situation, where societal norms are using his kryptonite against him, over and over again, he just needs to recollect and suffer in silence. The tumbler of scotch is quickly filled and down, much against his promise of leaving this habit behind. But sometimes, there is something soothing in the burn of your throat to ignore the ache inside your chest. The picture frame of their family photo is a punch in the gut because instead of being there for his family, he lets himself wallow in self-pity, wasting precious time to be with his family. In a hurry, Harvey grabs everything he needs and leaves the office. Society may not think he plays an important role, but the happy shouts of “Daddy” and patter of feet running to him, while he enters their home tells him otherwise.