Chapter Text
Finch walked over to Crowley, wobbling a bit along the way. When they stopped in front of the couch they brought their hand up to their mouth in a closed fist with two fingers out. They tried to flick their fingers but ended up moving their whole hand instead.
“Just stay where Daddy can see you, okay? It’s easy to get lost when you’re so little.” Crowley responded and Finch squealed happily, shifting into snake form. They were quite small in this form, barely the length of Crowley’s forearm and almost as thin as a pencil. They had red scales on their belly and on top their scales were black and white in a diamond pattern. They slithered around curiously, scenting the air with their tongue.
“Daddy!” Robin ran up to Crowley, stopping with a stomp in front of him. “Bingo, please!”
“You’ve had enough screen time today, Birdie, how about you have Papa read you a book?” Crowley suggested.
“No! I. Want. Bingo!” They shouted, punctuating each word with a stomp and stretching out their wings to appear bigger.
“Why don’t we try to find something fun to do?” Crowley tried to appease the toddler before this turned into a full-on meltdown.
“NOOOOO” Robin screeched in as high of a pitch as their voice could go and as loudly as possible. Finch, wanting to get away from the noise, slithered under the couch.
“Now, just what is going on in here?” Aziraphale asked from the doorway.
“Robin wants to watch Bluey,” Crowley replied with practised patience.
“Now dear,” Aziraphale spoke, getting down to Robin’s level “too much time watching the television isn’t good for you.”
“Okay, papa,” Robin hugged Aziraphale.
“How do you do that?” Crowley asked, amazed.
“I’m not sure, honestly,” Aziraphale stood, picking up Robin as they didn’t let go. “Where’s Finch?”
“Having some snake time,” Crowley looked around "somewhere…"
"Well, I suppose I'll have to have tea and cakes all by myself then," Aziraphale said dramatically, a little snake head poked out from under the sofa.
"There you are," Crowley sighed with relief. Finch slithered out from beneath the sofa and shifted back. They put the tips of their fingers and their thumb together and brought their hand to their mouth, tapping twice.
“All right, little serpent,” Crowley ruffled their hair “Let’s go wash up, I’m sure Papa already has the kettle on.”
“I want cakes too, Papa!” Robin said too loudly in Aziraphale’s ear.
“We will all have tea and cakes, dear,” Aziraphale said, giving a playful tap to Robin’s nose, “But you know the rules, wash up first then tea.”
“Okay, Papa,” Robin wiggled around in Aziraphale’s arms “down now.” Aziraphale carefully placed Robin down on their feet, they took a moment to find their balance before standing steady.
Once they had washed up Crowley and Aziraphale sat them at the table in their booster seats. They pushed their chairs up to the table before filling sippy cups with decaf tea. Aziraphale added sugar and milk to both cups and mixed them with a long spoon before screwing the caps on and handing them to the toddlers. The tea was miraculously the perfect temperature for two-year-olds when Aziraphale handed them to the twins. Crowley placed miniature strawberry cakes on each of their trays. Finch waved their hands excitedly before grabbing the whole little cake in their fist and shoving it in their mouth. Robin fluttered their wings as they picked up the little plastic toddler fork provided and used it to clumsily bring a bite of cake to their mouth and eat it.
“Yummy!!” Robin said, kicking their legs. Finch squeaked in agreement through a messy mouthful of cake. Aziraphale and Crowley sat next to each other across the table from the twins, angel with his tea and demon with his coffee.
The twins had a strong sense of smell compared to humans, a trait they had inherited from Crowley. Robin sniffed the air and noticed that the contents of Crowley’s cup were different. They threw their cup on the floor and a few drops spilled out but the spill was contained by the stopper in the cup’s lid.
“Want tea like daddy’s!” Robin shouted, stretching out their wings in an attempt at intimidation.
“Daddy is having coffee, it has quite a lot of caffeine,” Aziraphale said, using a miracle to transport Robin’s cup from the floor back to their tray. “Caffeine is not good for children, perhaps when you’re older you can have coffee with daddy,” Aziraphale added. Robin squinted at Aziraphale and copied his hand movement, they had seen both Aziraphale and Crowley performing magical acts with a wave of the hand and figured they could too. Robin concentrated really hard on the cup and it disappeared, they smiled triumphantly and stuck out their tongue at Aziraphale. Aziraphale gasped and reached out to put his hand on Crowley’s arm.
“Crowley, did you see that?” Aziraphale asked.
“I did, birdie’s first miracle,” Crowley said, looking at Aziraphale with wide eyes. He looked back at Robin and performed a miracle to return their cup to its place in front of them, curious to see what they would do. Robin copied Crowley’s hand motion this time, giggling as they banished the cup again. To Robin, this was a fun little game of miracle-the-cup now.
“They can do it the other way too,” Crowley said, eyes wider.
“It would seem they can,” Aziraphale responded. “Do you think either side noticed?”
“Tiny little miracle like that? Not likely.” Crowley miracled the cup in front of Robin again but with decaf coffee in it this time. “There we go, coffee just like mine but without any of that nasty caffeine.” Robin sniffed the cup and decided it was similar enough to what Crowley was drinking and took a sip. They immediately realised their mistake as the bitter liquid filled their mouth and they spit it out in a spray that hit both Aziraphale and Crowley in the face.
“Yucky!” Robin said, banishing the cup again. Aziraphale waved his hand and returned the cup in front of Robin with the decaf tea that was originally in it. Crowley performed a miracle to clean up the coffee mess. Finch had finished their cake and was holding their cup with cake-covered hands as they chugged their tea like their life depended on it. When they finished the drink they took a moment to catch their breath before making a noise to get their parents’ attention. When Crowley and Aziraphale looked over, they made a shape with their hand like they were holding an invisible tea cup. They tipped their hand towards their face twice and then pointed at their sippy cup.
“You know the rules, dear, one cup of tea and then you may have water,” Aziraphale said, standing to take the cup to the sink for a wash. Finch fussed and whined, they knew the rules but they didn’t like them. They furrowed their brows and crossed their arms as they mentally marked down ‘rules’ as their least favourite word.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, little serpent,” Crowley said, standing up to pick up Finch. They had learned early on that Finch wasn’t fond of having their face wiped down, so they used miracles for such messes. Crowley held Finch with one arm, supporting them on his hip as he used his other arm to wave a hand and clean up the toddler.
“Now when did Papa teach you to sign ‘tea’?” Crowley asked warmly.
“Oh, I assumed you did.” Aziraphale turned around, drying the outside of Finch’s cup which was now filled with water.
“Perhaps they saw you drinking tea so many times, they just copied that motion.” Crowley shrugged.
“You’re probably right,” Aziraphale said before looking over and noticing that Robin had fallen asleep face first in their cake. “Oh, you poor thing.” He handed the cup to Finch before walking over to Robin and carefully picking them up, using a miracle to clean up the cake smashed to their face.
“Must be nap time, think I just heard this one yawn,” Crowley said, bouncing Finch gently.
“I’ll lay Robin down, then we’ll see about getting Finch to sleep as well,” Aziraphale spoke softly. Finch fussed, they were tired but that wasn’t something they would ever admit. Crowley took Finch to the sitting room and sat down with them, rocking them gently. They could fight it all they wanted, but once they felt the gentle swaying motion and Crowley began to sing their eyelids became heavy. They tried moving their arms and legs to stay awake, but those movements eventually stilled as they drifted off to sleep in Crowley’s arms. Crowley smiled and slowly quieted his singing until the sound faded to nothing. He stood up carefully and walked up the stairs, holding Finch’s head instinctively to protect them from any potential bumps along the way. He stepped into the bedroom that Robin and Finch shared and smiled at Aziraphale, who was still sitting on the edge of Robin’s bed. Robin was tucked in peacefully under their Bluey blanket, hugging a stuffed rabbit that had been repaired a few times. Crowley laid Finch in bed, pulling their Paw Patrol blanket over them and placing their favourite stuffed dinosaur next to them. He chucked quietly, looking at the toy.
“Should I tell them?” Crowley asked in a joking tone.
“Don’t you dare .” Aziraphale responded quietly, but his voice was firm.