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“Oh Chuuya…”
Dazai cooed as he ran his hand down Chuuya’s face, tracing the dark circles under the ginger’s eyes.
“How long has it been since you got some rest? You know you’re not made for this…”
Chuuya groaned and leaned into Dazai’s touch, seeking comfort in the hands that have held him so many times before.
And the ones who he used to think would never hold him again.
The redhead eventually answered, melting into Dazai’s touch as he rasped,
“2 days no sleep… which normally wouldn’t be an issue if I hadn’t been dealing with that fucking Russian. Not to mention the water… that was exhausting. And then having to shoot you. I was scared Osamu.”
The exhaustion seemed to finally be hitting him, as his voice cracked,
“I didn’t want to lose you again..”
Dazai’s heart shattered. He gently grabbed Chuuya, pulling him into a hug as he brushed his hands over his back in circles, trying to soothe the pain. He whispered,
“You’re never losing me again Chuu…never.”
The gravity manipulator broke, grabbing onto the back of the brunette's shirt, fisting the material as he sobbed. He was too tired to feel embarrassed, he knew that it would eventually hit him later as he most likely woke up in Dazai’s arms, but he just couldn’t care less. All he wanted was to be told it was okay, for Dazai to promise that he would never leave him behind again, for him to apologize.
Dazai sighed and squeezed the shorter man before pulling away and smoothing over his shoulders, rubbing them gently.
“Chibi we’re still in enemy territory, now come on I thought you were a smart dog!”
Chuuya attempts to punch the taller man’s shoulder, but it doesn’t really have any effect, as he is the one who ends up tripping over himself, and ends up stumbling into Dazai, much to his own embarrassment.
“I’m not a fucking dog! Shut up you mackerel!”
Dazai makes a tutting noise before gently scooping Chuuya up, carrying him koala style… which hurt pretty fucking bad considering he had just been shot in the arm. But alas, anything for his chibikko.
Chuuya initially struggled, but eventually he succumbed into the brunette’s embrace, going as far to nuzzle his head into the nook of his neck, seeking the warmth that Dazai was so foolishly offering him. He mumbled something that Dazai couldn’t understand, before passing out completely, snoring softly.
Dazai seemed to be in a trance. He couldn’t believe that the ginger was asleep in his arms. He asked Nikolai to open up a portal so that they could go home.. but as he watched the clown cradling the hand of that fucking Russian… something finally clicked in his head.
What if that had been Chuuya? What if he hadn’t made it out of the water like they had planned? What if Fyodor had discarded of him earlier? What if…
What if he had lost Chuuya for good?
Oh no… no, no, no. NO. Dazai loved the ginger, he truly did, but this this was bad. How was he ever supposed to let Chuuya go on another mission with him? How could he support him using corruption if losing him could be an outcome? How had this never clicked in his head?
He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t even entertain the thought of something happening to Chuuya.
As they eventually arrived in one of the mafia’s safe houses, and waved a quick goodbye to the incredibly solemn looking Ukrainian, Dazai walked Chuuya to the bedroom. He laid him down gently, smoothing his hair down before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.
He whispered,
“Be right back Chibikko.”
Dazai moved to the kitchen and started searching the cabinets, no food. Well shit. He didn’t have his phone on him either…. He sighed before searching the drawers and he eventually found an old burner phone. Nobody from the agency would be able to to help him… and he couldn’t call Atsushi or Akutagawa as the two were probably doing their own recuperating as of right now… so he settled for the next best thing.
“Yeah. Two orders of your orange chicken and lo mein please. Thanks. Yeah…yup… nope. My address is [redacted]”
Cheap Chinese takeout.
If Chuuya was even half conscious, Dazai knew that he would have a black eye right about now as Chuuya refused to eat “unclean foods” because they didn’t “support the lifestyle he wanted”, but he knew he’d forgive him later.
He always did. Sometimes Dazai wishes he didn’t.
He quickly grabbed a glass of water before heading back into the bedroom, trying to be as quiet as he could so as to not disturb the sleeping beauty. He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently brushed the redhead’s bangs off of his forehead, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead before murmuring,
“Hatrack… I have some water for you..”
Chuuya grumbles and protests, but eventually he sits up, eyeing Dazai before quickly downing the water in one big gulp. His voice was hoarse as he questioned,
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“You’re still in that prison uniform. Take care of yourself damnit.”
Dazai looks down and blushes, the man was right, still in that nasty sweaty uniform. He sighs before looking back at the ginger and saying,
“You need to get changed too, as much as I love seeing you in your little outfit..”
He points to the more casual attire, it suited him well. Chuuya really was incredibly attractive.
“..you stink.”
The ginger turns a furious shade of red, now wide awake as he yells,
“ I stink? Smell yourself first! If I wasn’t so damn tired… I swear Dazai…”
“Chibi’s too loud~!!”
“Why I oughta….”
Dazai presses a finger to the angry little man’s lips before sighing annoyedly,
“I’ll run a bath for us, okay? Now hush up. I left some Advil on the nightstand, take that while I get everything ready okay?”
Chuuya stares at him for a moment before moving to grab the medicine,
“Did you drug this?”
“Oh my! The slug thinks i’m that horrible? I’m hurt~!”
“Shut the fuck up and go get the bath ready.”
“On it!”
Dazai gets up begrudgingly and moves to the bathroom. It’s modern and bright… a bit too bright for the headache that he can feel coming on, so he dims the lights and gets to work. He turns the bath water on, feeling it a couple times to make sure that it’s the perfect temperature for the redhead. He knows from experience how sensitive the shorter man is to the water temperature so he does his best to make sure that it’s not too hot and not too cold. Admittedly, Chuuya likes his baths hotter than Dazai does, but he supposes he can withstand it just this once.
Once the water is just right, he exits the bathroom and heads to the laundry closet, grabbing four towels, one more than he really needed but you can never be too careful.
A little ball catches his eye right as he’s reaching to shut the closet and he grabs it, inspecting it as he reads the label. A.. bath bomb?
‘hm.. maybe this will relax him a tad? It says it’s lavender scented… can’t hurt!’
Dazai adds the bath bomb to his pile and returns to the bathroom, where the tub is filled just about to the rim, which is a bit too full but honestly Dazai could care less right now.
He places one of the towels on the floor by the tub, so that the ginger doesn’t slip and crack his head open, then he moves to set the other three on the counter.
All done!
He walks out of the bathroom and shakes away the ginger again, tickling him a tad which earns him a half assed kick.
“Come on chibi, let’s go.”
“ughhh…”
“Nope! Let’s go!”
The shorter man peels himself out of bed, dragging himself into the bathroom. Dazai watches him carefully, ready to catch him if he somehow falls, which is unlikely because he can manipulate gravity but oh well.
Chuuya starts to undress himself, cursing at Dazai to
“stop watching like a damn pervert”
before hopping into the tub, letting a relaxed sigh fall from his lips. Yeah, this was just what he needed. After a moment he shoots a glare at Dazai,
“Aren’t you getting in?”
“Didn’t think you’d want me to.”
“Just get in here asshole, you smell wretched.”
Dazai laughs to himself before undressing, pausing once his hands reach the bandages that cover his body.
This was always an issue. Damnit.
Chuuya studies him, his head resting on his arms that are thrown over the edge of the tub, before mumbling,
“Osamu, it’s not like I haven’t seen them before. Come on, it’s okay.”
“I know.. I just…”
“Osamu.”
Dazai stares at him for a moment before sighing and trying to get himself to relax. Chuuya’s right. He’s seen under the bandages a thousand times, not to mention he’s one of the two people who he has willingly let see.. so it’s alright.
He feels safe. Chuuya has a tendency to make him feel that way.
He slowly peels off the bandages, his skin burning under the gaze of the redhead.
It never gets less embarrassing, does it?
He eventually slips in behind Chuuya, wrapping his arms around him and tangling their legs together. He hums a tad as he rests his chin in the crook of the other man’s neck and closes his eyes.
“I missed you slug.”
“I missed you too.”
Dazai kisses Chuuya's neck, which earns a soft laugh from the ginger.
He would never get tired of looking at Chuuya.
His skin was so soft and milky. It really was perfect. He traced his fingers along the freckles that graced his shoulders, it’s almost as if the man had been kissed by the sun. Beautiful. The way that his hair cascaded down his back, resembling fire that travels the surface that it touches. The way that the curves of his muscles gently shifted as the redhead made any sort of movement, no matter how small.
He loved him. Dazai really did love him.
Eventually Chuuya breaks the silence and mutters,
“Could you wash my hair for me? My arms hurt…”
Dazai blushes a tad, he adored being this intimate with Chuuya. Truly.
“Of course..”
He grabs the shampoo bottle and squeezes out a decent amount before rubbing his hands together so that the shampoo wouldn’t be so cold on the ginger’s head. He gently starts to work it in, paying extra attention to the roots where he would lightly scratch them. He knows Chuuya likes that. His suspicions were proven correct as the redhead sinks deeper into the bath, eyes fluttering shut as he lets out a soft noise of satisfaction.
Heaven.
This was heaven for Chuuya.
“Feels so good, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were a hairdresser…”
Dazai laughs and continues his work, admiring how Chuuya’s waves become more defined the wetter that his hair becomes. Fascinating.
He was always infatuated with the redhead’s hair, but getting to wash it himself always felt like a high honor bestowed to him. It really did make him feel so special.
Once he felt that he had done a sufficient enough job, he whispers,
“Mind leaning your head back for me? I need to wash the soap out dear.”
Chuuya silently complies, melting into Dazai’s touch as he cups the side of his face, protecting the suds from getting in his eyes as he slowly washes out the shampoo. He works from the roots down, once again giving Chuuya a scalp massage.
Once he finishes, he supports the shorter by pulling him closer as he pushes him upwards, his arms now wrapping around his middle. He loved holding him like this, almost as much as he liked being held.
He gently traces his sides, paying extra attention to his ribcage before pulling his arms away and reaching for the conditioner. He remembers Chuuya telling him that the conditioner has to sit in his hair for a while because the waves in his hair need more moisture to stay defined.
He kept this in mind as he worked in the conditioner, twirling and untangling each strand lovingly, as if he was working with the most precious silk material.
Chuuya groans and lets his head fall back a tad. Dazai really worked magic when he wanted to. Chuuya cherished the gentle side of him. He didn’t get to see it often, but whenever he did, he was reminded of why he fell in love with him in the first place.
Dazai pulls away and kisses Chuuya’s shoulder, muttering against the skin,
“5 minutes for it to sit right?”
Chuuya turns his head slightly, kissing the top of the brunettes head,
“Yeah.”
“M’kay..”
Chuuya noticed the tiredness creeping into the taller man’s voice and his heart melted.
‘so cute…’
Without a second thought he whispers,
“Can I wash yours as well?”
Dazai’s eyes light up and he gives the ginger just about the most reverent smile that he’s ever seen.
“You would do that for me?”
“Of course my love, now turn around.”
Dazai turned a shade of crimson at the pet name. God. Chuuya really does know how to make him weak.
After a bit of struggling, the two’s positions are rearranged, Dazai’s back being pressed against Chuuya’s chest.
Chuuya traced the curve of the taller man’s spine, paying extra attention to how his bones jutted out a bit more than normal.
“Did they not feed you enough at Mersault?”
“Hm?”
“Honey…”
Chuuya made a tutting noise before leaning down and kissing the middle of his back, lingering for a moment before pulling away and grabbing the shampoo, commenting as he did so:
“We’ll get you nice and fed now won’t we?”
Before Dazai could respond, Chuuya plunges his hands into the others hair, making the messy brown locks even messier as he takes a more aggressive approach than Dazai initially did. However, this is how Dazai likes it, he lets out a groan of pleasure and practically turns to putty in the other’s hands.
The ginger massages his head, scratching and untangling as he goes, and the brunette just about asks the other man to marry him right there on the spot because it feels so good.
Once he’s done rubbing it in, Chuuya washes it out before immediately working the conditioner in there as well. Dazai’s hair really was so soft… when it wasn’t all greasy and grimy. He loved how fluffy and frizzy it would be when it initially dried. It really was adorable.
He untangles his hair before washing out the remaining product, kissing his head as he does so. He’s about to tell Dazai to turn back around so that he can wash his own conditioner out, but the man’s almost asleep!
Chuuya sighs and begins attacking the detective’s neck and shoulders with soft kisses, doing his best to awaken the man as gently as he could.
“Osamu…”
He cooed against the other man’s warm skin, hoping the use of his first name would snap him out of his trance, and sure enough, it worked.
The younger man sat up a bit straighter and turned his head to look at Chuuya,
“Sorry, just felt so good.”
“It’s alright.”
“Do I wash your hair out now as well?”
“If you could, please.”
Before switching positions again, Dazai pulls Chuuya in for a kiss. It’s not passionate or hungry. It’s just soft. An unspoken ‘I love you’ conveyed through lips gently slotting together, fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces. It’s almost as if they were made for one another.
The two pull away, and get situated. Dazai washes the conditioner out quickly, and scrunches the red hair, watching as the waves become more defined right in front of his eyes. Oh how he adored those ginger waves.
Dazai then takes a wash cloth and gently washes the older’s body, being extra gentle around the various cuts and scratches that currently littered his body. He would be cleaning those later.
Once he finished, he washed his own body quickly, scrubbing furiously. He really did stink….
He washed himself off and put the wash cloth back.
The water was getting cold now, and as he looked towards the counter he cursed, he forgot that damn bath bomb. It was too late now though, he could tell by the way that the ginger’s eyes were drooping that it was time to get out, they were both too tired.
He steps out first, shivering as the cool air hits his skin, and he wraps himself up in a towel. He waits a moment before grabbing a second towel and holding it out like a mother would for her child stepping out of the pool.
“Come on Chuu… time to get out.”
Chuuya steps out, and Dazai wraps him up in the towel embrace, holding him tightly as he kisses the top of his head reverently a few times.
“Chibi’s the perfect height for me. So easy to kiss!”
Chuuya swats at the taller man’s hand but eventually just gives up. The bath relaxed him to a point of no return. Sleep was threatening him right now.
Dazai grabs the third towel, and begins scrunching Chuuya’s hair, letting the water come out as his hair begins to spring upwards, the bottom of his ginger locks beginning to curl into themselves.
Cute.
Once he finishes he aggressively runs the towel through his own hair, messing it up until it’s only semi - damp. Good enough for him.
“Chuuya honey, can I dress your wounds?”
“Yeah.. just… please be gentle. I’m hurting a lot right now.”
Dazai nodded as he moved Chuuya to sit on the toilet, closing the lid as he turns it into a seat. He kisses Chuuya’s hand before unwrapping him and staring at his body.
His heart breaks.
Bruises, gashes, bullet holes, surface level wounds.
He whispers softly, pain echoing in his voice,
“Oh my sweetheart…”
He reaches out and gently touches a particularly long gash across his forearm, this must have happened when he was manipulating the door so that he could escape the room full of water. He must have scratched it against the metal on his way out.
As he starts to care for each wound, his heart cracks a bit at the noises of pain that Chuuya makes. Every single whimper, gasp, wince, and yelp hurt him more deeply than he could ever describe. He felt each one so personally, it felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest.
Why wasn’t he there for him? Why didn’t he protect him?
Dazai eventually finishes up, kissing each bandaid and bandage softly before squeezing the other’s hand and whispering,
“All done. Feel better?”
Chuuya nods his head and inspects Dazai, slowly reaching towards him to thumb at the gun wound in his shoulder. Tears well up in his eyes as he remembers that he did this to Dazai. He was the one who had hurt him. His voice is barely audible when he breathes,
“I’m so sorry. Oh, Osamu..”
Dazai watches him, sorrow filling his own eyes as he studies his movements. He’s never seen Chuuya this worked up over his injuries. He grabs the older man’s hand and kisses it softly, murmuring into the skin,
“It’s okay, I forgive you… you did what you had to.”
Chuuya breaks down sobbing, clutching Dazai’s hand as if it were a lifeline. All of this was too much. What if they hadn’t pulled off the gun trick? What if Dazai had actually died there? Or even worse, what if he didn’t die but still suffered permanent damage? He couldn’t take it. He was so exhausted, emotionally and physically.
Dazai’s face softens, he pulls Chuuya in for a hug, caressing his hair while mumbles sweet nothings into his neck. He hated to see the redhead all worked up like this, it pained him to see the one he loved in so much anguish.
He pulls away, and cups Chuuya’s face, turning it towards him firmly before whispering,
“Chuuya. It’s okay my love. I’m safe. You’re safe. We’re together.”
Chuuya sniffles and nods his head. Fucking damnit. Fucking Dazai making him feel all of these fucking emotions! Fucking disgusting.
Once he had calmed down, Chuuya dresses Dazai’s wounds as well, eyes welling up every once in a while as pangs of guilt rushed over his neck, making it feel hot.
The two get dressed into pyjamas.. albeit they’re a bit small on Dazai considering that this is Chuuya’s safe house, so there’s no clothes big enough for him to squeeze into.
Just as they were about to get into bed, Dazai heard a knock at the door and remembered that he ordered that food.
He groans and gets up, greeting the man at the door with saccharine sweetness, paying him but not tipping.
He drags himself back to the bedroom and holds up the food triumphantly before joking,
“Who’s hungry?”
Chuuya is wide awake now. In the midst of everything he had forgotten just how hungry he was. But now it was all coming back to him as his stomach growled ferociously. He was starving.
He smiled as Dazai unpacked the meal, panda eyes lighting up as he saw the junk food. Normally he would protest, but my God this shit smelled so good.
Dazai smiles to himself as he sees the ginger’s reaction, he’s happy he’s not upset… he was worried for a moment.
Before Chuuya can reach for the bag, the younger man is shoving chopsticks into his mouth, feeding him as if he were a baby.
He wanted to protest so bad. He wanted to fucking snap those chopsticks in two and stab Dazai with them.
But he was too tired. Genuinely.
So he sat there. Being spoon fed by a sicko wearing a sadistic smile.
..He’d be lying if he said that some part of him didn’t enjoy being babied like this… it was kinda nice
Dazai cooed,
“Aww.. look at the chibi… so cute~..”
Never mind. He hated it.
He snatched the chopsticks from Dazai and shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth, gripping onto his jaw and smiling, his eyes full of disgust,
“Chew.”
Dazai gulped. Oops.
He chewed and swallowed, following every single one of Chuuya’s commands until they both had eaten enough. Chills ran down his spine as Chuuya looked like he was going to start screaming a long list of expletives, but instead an order comes out of his mouth,
“Now go lay in that fucking bed and let me fucking hold you until we fall asleep. I’m fucking exhausted.”
Dazai has no problem with complying.
He scrambles into bed, feeling a bit giddy as a goofy smile finds its way onto his face. He waits for Chuuya to join him, which he eventually does right after he shuts off the bedroom light and places the leftover food onto the ground (he’d deal with it later).
Chuuya spoons Dazai, holding him against his chest, Dazai’s head tucked away into his neck.
Home…
He was home.
Home was wherever Chuuya was.
The ginger gently rubbed Dazai’s back, kissing his cheek or his head every once in a while before whispering,
“I love you ‘Samu.”
Just when he thought that the confession had fallen on deaf ears, he heard a soft,
“I love you too, My Chuuya.”
before finally closing his eyes and letting himself succumb to the sweet song of sleep.