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The fire crackling in the fireplace, the comfortable peninsula sofa and the silence of Oslo are the ingredients of Holger's newfound inner peace.
After the tiring commitments of Indian Wells and Miami, the two decided to treat themselves to a long relaxing weekend at the Ruud house, in Norway, before returning to prepare for the upcoming Master 1000 in Monte-Carlo.
Holger, lying on the sofa, is almost dozing off, his legs intertwined with Casper's. As usual he is lying in the arms of his boyfriend, who doesn't seem to complain about the position.
The truly unnerving thing is that Casper hasn't stopped typing furiously on his cell phone since they arrived.
“Can I know who you're talking to?” Holger asks, a little exasperated, before managing to bite his tongue.
He doesn't want to play the nosy boyfriend but Casper never spends all that time on the phone, especially when they're together.
“Oh it's Sebastian, we were talking about the Northern Lights, he's planning to go see it at the end of the year and I was giving him some advice”
Holger obviously ignores the rest of the sentence.
“Sebastian? Korda?” he asks, not bothering to hide his surprise.
“I'm not speaking to Vettel yet”
At another time the joke would have definitely made him laugh.
“Since when have you and Sebastian Korda been friends?”
Casper raises an eyebrow, confused, and finally puts the phone away.
Holger looks at him out of the corner of his eye, the position does not allow him to turn completely and he thinks it’s better that way.
“What does that mean? He is one of our colleagues, of course we are friends”
“It doesn't mean anything Casp, I'm not friends with all the guys on tour”
“But you are you, Holg”
Holger, shocked, takes a moment to metabolize that response, which hurts him beyond all means.
Casper realizes he chose the wrong words when the youngest is already getting up from the sofa.
“Love, I didn't mean to say that…-“
“It was exactly what you meant, though.”
Holger cuts him short, without sparing him a glance, disappearing up the stairs leading to the bedrooms.
Casper sighs, running a hand over his face.

*

Holger locks himself in Casper's room and the owner is smart enough to give his boyfriend a good half hour of solitude.
Holger, being the twenty-year-old boy that he is, does the least mature thing in the world: spying on the Instagram profile of Sebastian Korda, who apparently seems to be friends with all the tennis players on the circuit. The classic good guy.
The Dane almost slams his phone on the bedside table in frustration.
Of course, the world loves Sebastian Korda.
He seems to be his opposite: never a word out of place, never disrespectful to an opponent, never attracted boos from the public.
He just seems like Casper's type.
The thought almost makes him nauseous.
He should be Casper's type, damn it, he's his damn boyfriend, everyone knows it... ah, but no.
At the same time he thinks back to the words Casper addressed to him just now: “But you are you, Holg”.
At this point it almost seems like a curse to be Holger Rune, a condemnation.
Why? Just because he doesn't give much confidence to Jannik, Carlos and all the others?
Just because he doesn't laugh and joke with them? He went back to high school and didn't notice it?
The fact that it was Casper who voiced something that everyone probably thinks hurts him even more.
When the elder one peeks into the room, cautiously opening the door, Holger does his best not to look at his face.
Despite the indifference he receives, Casper takes a seat at the foot of the bed.
There is only a few centimeters of duvet between them but to the Norwegian it seems like kilometers.
"Hey, will you look at me?"
Holger does not respond or mention to look up, he stubbornly focuses on the laces of the sweatshirt he is wearing.
Casper bites his lip, his face twisted in a regretful expression.
“Baby, I'm sorry, I used the wrong words”
“There aren't many words to say that I’ve been on everyone’s ass” blurts out the youngest, unable to hide his sadness.
“Holg I didn't mean that and it's not true at all, I just wanted to say that you are more closed off than me and that's why...-“
“Maybe if you talk to Sebastian so much during your free time you should start dating him, not me… at least you shouldn't hide him from people”
Casper knows that Holger says those words because he is hurt, but it is difficult for him too to face that wall of jealousy and fear.
Holger, however, is only twenty years old, sometimes he seems to forget it, and it is right that he has his own insecurities about a relationship that, in a world like the tennis one, seems to be much bigger than them.
“Sebastian is just a friend!”
The answer is not what Holger expected.
“It's you I love, not Sebastian” or “I'm not ashamed of you at all, I want everyone to know we're together” – here's maybe something like that.
However he lets the words die in his throat because he doesn't want to be that kind of boyfriend, the one who forces you to cut ties with friends or bite off more than you can chew.
Holger feels his eyes becoming shiny and raises them towards the wooden ceiling, desperately trying to suppress the emotionality that he hates so much and which makes him feel ridiculous.
You're pathetic
You're pathetic
You're pathetic
He'll end up preferring Sebastian Korda or anyone else other than you because you're so damn pathetic.
Holger hates the voices in his head.
He gets out of bed too quickly and tries to remember where he put the suitcase he arrived with.
“Holg please explain to me what the hell are you…-“
“I need to go home”
The strangled voice with which the youngest pronounces those words leaves Casper astonished for a moment.
Only then does he seem to realize how hurt Holger really is by the situation.
"What…? Baby come on, wait, can we please clarify calmly"
Meanwhile Holger continues not to look at him and throws the clothes into the blue trolley.
Casper wants to take his arms and block him but for the first time since they've been together he doesn't know what is the right move to make.
“I think you'll be better spending a couple of days without me, I’ll see you in Monaco on Tuesday…”
"No I won't be better without you, what the fuck are you talking about!" the Norwegian blurts out, losing his usual calm for a moment.
He doesn't like the feeling of his relationship with Holger slipping out of hand, it makes him feel disoriented, empty.
In the end, when the blond is about to close the suitcase, Casper gently grabs his elbow.
This time Holger looks at him with his blue eyes full of tears.
“You can't always run away from the things that hurt you, okay? Please talk to me, everything was fine like ten minutes ago”
“You're right, I'm me with all my fucking problems, maybe you need someone less complicated who you won't be afraid to come out with”
Someone like Sebastian.
“But I want you!”
No matter how hard he tries, Casper can't talk sense into Holger and every word that comes out of his mouth seems to be the wrong one.
So that Saturday evening Casper punches the pillow in his room while Holger is in tears on a flight from Oslo to Nice booked at the last second.

*

Now that Holger isn't there with him, Casper realizes everything he should have said to him, starting with an "I love you" that he shouldn't have taken for granted.
It's just that the intensity with which Holger experiences his emotions, without ever really being able to manage them, sometimes leaves even Casper taken aback, he doesn't know what to do. People love Holger for his way of experiencing feelings but it also is his great flaw.
Having missed dinner he is not surprised that Caroline, after gently tapping on the door with her knuckles, hands him a tray with a cup of tea and some biscuits.
“Thanks Caro but I don't feel like it”
Needless to say, his sister is not intimidated.
“Spit it out little brother, why did Holger leave and you're here brooding?”
Caroline places the tray on the bedside table and takes a seat next to her brother, holding him in an unsolicited but definitely welcome hug.
“A jealous scene, Holger's insecurity... I don't know, I don't think I handled it well”
"Holger jealous? Seriously? I would have said that you were the jealous one of the couple!”
Casper is a little jealous indeed, because Holger is so damn handsome and could have anyone he wants, but for some reason he chose Casper and... fuck , how can he even think that he could prefer Sebastian or anyone else other than him?
“Maybe I should have told him that I love him”
Caro rests her head on his shoulder, like she did as a child.
“I think Holger is just afraid of losing you”
“If only he would stop running away…” the eldest Ruud murmurs, his cheek pressed against his sister's blonde hair.
“Casp, put yourself in his shoes and imagine that you have built the image of the asshole boy hated by everyone, then see how difficult it is when no one wants to see beyond that mask what good thing you have to give”
Caroline's words make him shudder.
“I wish the world could see what a wonderful person he is”
“Don't be afraid to show him to the world then” his sister encourages him, giving him a half smile.
“And above all, show him how much you like the person he is” adds Caro, now standing under the door frame.
Once alone Casper grabs the cup of hot tea and gets lost in his thoughts.

*

There’s no point pretending otherwise: he had a shitty two days.
Holger spends his time hiding tears in his pillow and blaming himself.
He can’t even train decently, so even the last thing he was good at goes to hell.
It was Holger himself who suggested they should spend some time apart but now that it's Tuesday and Casper hasn't looked for him yet, Holger bitterly regrets having taken that plane to Nice.
Why didn't he come back?  
What if he got tired of him? 
What if he realized it wasn't worth it?
The voices in his head throw him back into despair.
He argued with Boris a bit, he should get busy preparing something for lunch, but instead Holger opens Instagram and finds a story by Sebastian Korda, a photo of those fucking Northern Lights, on which he had the barbaric courage to tag Casper.
Holger keeps his finger on the story to keep it from scrolling for five, ten, thirty seconds.
Sebastian Korda is blatantly hitting on his boyfriend, his completely naive boyfriend who ignores the situation and thinks Holger is a mess to keep secret.
Maybe that's why Casper isn't back yet.
Maybe Casper won't come back.
Just as Holger is about to burst into tears, a call from Alma finally makes the damned Instagram page disappear.
Holger swipes his finger to respond almost reflexively.
“Holg hi! Mom wanted to know if the tuxedo for this evening has returned from the laundry"
For a moment Holger doesn't even know what the fuck his sister is talking about, then he remembers.
The shitty gala the ATP organizes every year before the Monte-Carlo Master 1000 with the entire entry list of the tournament.
Until last week Holger was over the moon about the first official event he and Casper would attend together.
But Casper didn't ask him to go together.
It doesn't matter anymore anyway.
Maybe Casper will go to the gala with Sebastian.
Holger almost wants to tear his hair out to turn off those voices.
“I'm not going,” he murmurs, his voice flat.
He doesn't realize it but tears are running down his face.
"What? What do you mean you're not going?" he hears a commotion on the other end of the phone, his mother is angry.
Sometimes he forgets that Aneke is also his manager.
“Holger but we have already told the sponsors that…-”
He hangs up the phone before Alma or his mom can add anything else.

*

Casper has never felt so uncomfortable in a tuxedo in his life.
The Country Club is full of personalities from the tennis world, many chatting with each other with a glass of fine champagne in their hands but he is too focused on trying not to suffocate with the bow tie tied around his neck.
He arrived directly from the airport without even having time to put his bags down at home.
He desperately needs to see Holger and tell him that they are both complete idiots who do stupid things because they love each other too much.
But Holger hasn't shown up yet and Casper is approached by the person with the worst timing in the world.
“Hey finally see you in person!”
“Hi Sebastian” replies the Norwegian, trying not to be rude.
After all, he is totally unaware.
Sebastian hands him a flute of champagne which Casper accepts with little ceremony, he needs alcohol to get through the evening.
“Thank you so much for the travel tips”
"Of course, it's nice that people want to see the beauties of Norway"
Sebastian smiles showing his teeth but Casper can't help but think about how much less bright his smile is than Holger's.
He takes another quick look around the room.
“When I come will I find you there? We could go on some excursions together, I don't know, have a drink"
Casper lets his gaze dart across the American's face again, tinged with slight embarrassment.
Oh no, please don't…
“Um sure, maybe me and… maybe my boyfriend and I could stop by and say hello when you're there.”
Sebastian's face after those words is entirely a program.
Casper has never felt so uncomfortable in his life, who knows why these days fate has decided to go after him.
Now it turns out Holger was also right to be jealous, what a situation .
“Oh God Casper I'm sorry, what a bad impression”
“No, don't worry, you really couldn't have known…”
The Norwegian stops, not knowing what else to add.
The two tennis players look at each other as an awkward silence falls between them.
The awareness of those words hits Casper in an annoying way.
Of course Sebastian couldn't know, no one knows, he thinks bitterly.
By now, that situation is getting to him.
Holger is convinced that Casper is ashamed of him when the older one simply tries to protect him.
He doesn't want to hide, he wants everyone to know that he and Holger are a couple, that they love each other.
He doesn't want Holger to have doubts because of other people.
Maybe Casper really has had enough of secrets.
“Is he um… is he here tonight?” Sebastian asks, to prepare himself for another possible shitty figure.
The slightly bewildered expression that Casper gives him must make him look like a complete idiot.
He should, maybe, I thought so, I don't know.
I hope I still have a boyfriend.
“Actually, I really have to go look for him, sorry, we'll catch up!”
Casper doesn't like to pretend with people but for his own sanity, after giving Sebastian a false smile of mere courtesy, he runs away towards the terrace. In the process he loosens the knot of the bow tie that seems to want to suffocate him.
On the balcony there is Zverev, all polished, dazzling his interlocutors with a smile.
The small group of Russians led by Daniil and Andrey laugh at something Bublik said, everyone has a glass in their hands.
Carlos and Jannik are obviously glued to each other's sides while Shelton moves like a shadow behind Taylor and Tommy, as if he doesn't know where to go.
Maybe it seems evident only to Casper but Holger's absence clashes with the whole picture, the lack of his crystalline laugh and his biting jokes makes the puzzle incomplete.
Driven by the force of desperation, Casper first phones Holger, who obviously doesn't answer, then he calls Alma.
It takes a while before she picks up the phone.
Her tone is annoyed.
“Casp tell me you only called because you managed to bring Holger to his senses”
Doesn't sound like a great prelude.
"Why is he not at the event?" he investigates, trying not to bring out the air of defeat and dejection that has accompanied him for two days.
"You should tell me! Mom’s pissed off, he makes us look bad with sponsors, and I’m tired of getting Holger out of trouble every time."
In the end, with an exasperated gesture, Casper actually takes off the bow tie and sticks it in his trouser pocket, hoping that no one has looked at him badly.
“I'll take care of it, okay?”
“You don't have to justify him all the time Casp, you know?”
He doesn't want to imagine how Holger feels at the moment, aware of being alone and without allies.
“No Alma seriously this time it's my fault, I have everything under control”
Not at all.
“I sincerely hope you're right” the girl's tone is understandably skeptical.

*

Holger knows that his reaction is not mature for a professional athlete but for once, just once, not giving a damn what other people think makes him feel almost good.
He is holed up at home, while the entire tennis world is at one of the most social events of the season and his cell phone is almost burning from how much it is ringing. To improve the work he even turned the display upside down.
When there is a knock on the door he reluctantly gets up from the sofa, certain that his mother has sent a very angry Becker to rescue him.
Instead in the doorway there is Casper in an elegant suit but looking out of breath, his hair is sticking out in all directions and the collar of his shirt is wrinkled, his bow tie comes out of a pocket.
Holger takes a second to look at him and swallows hard because damn he’s beautiful.
"Why are you here? Weren't you at the party?” is the only meaningful sentence that comes out of his mouth.
“I took the taxi, it's waiting for us downstairs, aren't you ready yet?”
Holger gives him a slightly shocked look.
"Are you drunk?"
"I’d really love to"
"I’m not going to that shit party."
"You’re right, it was shit without you, but I don’t want your mother to kill us both."
The youngest seems almost exasperated by all the wrong answers Casper’s been giving him lately.
"If you’re here to be nice to my mom, you can fuck off back to Sebastian, Casp, I’m serious."
Casper rolls his eyes so dramatically that Holger fears he's about to scream.
Instead the other takes his face in his hands with a delicacy that shocks him.
“I don't give a shit about Sebastian, okay? I don't give a shit about anyone other than you, now please put on that damn tuxedo and let's go out."
In reality Casper would like to say many more things while Holger would like to cry again but in the end, no one knows how, they are both in the back seat of the taxi, finally heading towards the party.
“Shall we go in together?”
These are the first words that Holger says since they left the house and he does so with a slightly lost tone that makes Casper's heart break. He turns to look at him.
“Of course we'll go in together”
In truth, not only do they enter the Country Club together but Casper, on the threshold of the reception room, takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.
Holger casts a look of pure terror first at their joined hands and then at the guy's clear eyes.
"What are you doing?"
“I'm going to the damn party with my amazing boyfriend” – Casper doesn't even bother keeping his voice down.
The youngest boy's heart beats at a frenetic pace and Holger fears he is about to have a heart attack.
“Is this your way of not pissing off my mother?”
Casper calms down when Holger, despite his slightly tremulous voice, tries to joke.
He scrutinizes the boy carefully, looking for any sign of hesitation, but Holger holds his hand even tighter as they enter the room.
People look at them.
Some more discreetly, some without being able to hide their amazement, some with genuine curiosity.
Their colleagues don't even seem too surprised given the bizarre precedents that occurred during recent tournaments, when both attended each other's matches.
Holger moves a little uncomfortably in his Hugo Boss suit.
“Do you mind them staring at us?” Casper asks him softly, in the sweetest tone in the world.
Holger shakes his head.
“And do you mind?”
Do you mind if they see you with me?
“Sorry? So everyone can admire how fucking handsome my boyfriend is."
The youngest blushes and dares a caress with his thumb against the palm of Casper’s hand.
With immense surprise, Andrey is the first to approach them with a sly smile painted on his face.
"Hello lads!"
Holger hesitantly grabs the glass that the Russian is offering him.
When Casper reassures him with his gaze he understands that Andrey already knew.
“For what it's worth, I wanted to tell you that I have your back, both of you, so just relax and enjoy your night”
Andrey's words, full of affection, almost make Holger cry with joy.
No one – except Casper – is usually this nice to him.
“It means a lot, really” the Norwegian replies for him, returning Andrey's smile.
“Thank you” adds Holger and his tone is so full of emotion that it pushes Andrey to pat him on the shoulder in a brotherly manner.
After that conversation Holger begins to loosen up a bit, from afar he sees Carlos and Jannik greeting him with a wave of their hand.
“Why don't you go to them? I think they like chatting with you" Casper encourages him, his tone always light and attentive.
"You say?"
“Absolutely yes and if not I will be right here waiting for you to talk badly about the terrible jacket Stefanos is wearing”
Strengthened by that reassurance, Holger manages to have a pleasant chat with his two peers in perfect tranquility.
Casper watches him from afar with his eyes shining.
He wants Holger to never feel wrong again at any point in their life together.
Perhaps the only one who is incredulous at seeing them together is Sebastian Korda himself who just can't help but pop out his eyes when he sees Holger and Casper sitting down at their table, the major's hand resting firmly on Holger's lower back.
Out of the corner of his eye, the Dane notices Korda's insistent glances.
“Your friend looks like he’s seen a ghost”
Casper laughs sadly.
“I hate to admit it but maybe you were right, I misunderstood his intentions”
Holger raises an eyebrow, not surprised at all by that revelation.
“I notice when someone hits on my man, you know?”
Those words stir something in Casper's belly, he suddenly feels pretty warm.
He brings his face close to Holger's in a cheeky way.
“Maybe you should mark better your territory”
Casper knows that the Dane is at ease now so he takes the chance, with a glimmer of challenge lighting up his eyes.
He sees that same light reflected in Holger's blue irises.
“Yeah, I really think I should”
Being careful that Sebastian has his eyes on them, Holger leans forward and captures Casper's lips in a kiss that, despite the prelude, turns out to be sweet and chaste.
Probably someone else besides Sebastian is staring at them but Holger no longer cares. Now he is happy.

*

It's not indecently late when they come back home so Casper takes the opportunity to make himself some tea, worn out by the day.
His suitcase lies abandoned in the hall but now he doesn't have the strength to unpack it.
Holger has finally freed himself from the tuxedo to slip into an old creamy hoodie that he uses to sleep.
He stops in the kitchen doorway to watch Casper pour the contents of the kettle into a cup.
Casper is wearing one of Holger’s sweatshirts, the Nike logo and the fact that it is slightly long give him away.
The thought that he might no longer enjoy that familiar sight makes his eyes water.
“Hey, are you okay? Do you want some hot tea?” Casper asks, noticing him there at the door.
Holger shakes his head.
“Sorry… it's just that these days I was afraid that you wouldn't come back and well… nothing, I'm happy that you are here, preparing your tea in our kitchen”
Casper tilts his head to the side, looking at Holger tenderly.
The tea is soon forgotten as the Norwegian covers the distance between them in long strides to embrace Holger in a hug.
Holger closes his eyes, hiding his face against the sweatshirt that now smells like Casper.
“ Kjærlighet , hey, I will always come back to you, okay?”
“Even if I'm a fucking insecure?”
Casper leaves a kiss in his hair.
“Then I will make a point of reminding you every day that you are my favorite person in the world”
The youngest breaks into a smile, finally relaxed.
“So now the whole tour knows we're together…”
“What a shame, no one will be able to hit on you, liten ”
“For now the one with the most suitors is you” the blond teases, turning up his nose.
Casper doesn't show any signs of wanting to detach his arms from Holger's torso, on the contrary, he holds him firmly by the hips.
“You were a fucking vision in that tuxedo,” the Dane murmurs under his breath, remembering the image of Casper with his bow tie untied.
The Norwegian approaches to leave a trail of kisses that starts from the jaw and reaches the earlobe. There he plays a little by sucking and biting Holger's soft skin, the younger one closes his eyes sighing heavily.
“You're a fucking vision even now”
Casper pushes him towards the kitchen island and draws his soul out with a kiss.
Holger moans against his lips and unceremoniously slides his hands under Casper's sweatshirt, caressing his abs.
Their pelvises collide, hearing how turned on Holger is makes him dizzy, ecstatic.
Casper is about to reach the elastic of Holger's trousers when the other guy stops him, reversing the positions, so Casper finds himself with the back pressed against the table.
Holger only needs a last-gasp effort, taking advantage of the difference in height, to lift Casper and make him sit on the glass surface.
He hopes that table is worth the money it cost him.
The Norwegian is pleasantly surprised by Holger's resourcefulness.
“I want to take care of you tonight” he tells him, in a hoarse voice.
Casper thinks he can come just by hearing those words.
Since they've been together, Casper has always been the one to take the reins of the situation in bed, not that Holger minded, on the contrary.
The Dane, not having all of Casper's experience with men, has always been insecure about wanting to reverse roles.
What if he wasn't good enough? What if Casper didn't like it?
But that night Casper had the courage to tell all their friends that they are together, that he loves him, without shame. Holger wants to be brave like him, as he can only be next to him.
The younger one takes it easy, taking Casper's entire length into his mouth right there in their kitchen, making indecent noises with his mouth.
Casper throws his head back as he arches under the deft movements of Holger's tongue. He has memorized every sound and every movement of Casper's body, so much so that he knows that he is close to the edge, so Holger pulls away from his cock making him moan loudly. The Norwegian stares at him with liquid eyes, his legs tingling. 
In an instant the same lips that before caressed his intimacy devour Casper's mouth, the other answers by squeezing Holger’s butt tightly making him moan.
“Let's go to the bedroom” the younger finds the strength to say, breathing heavily.
He wants that first time to be special, not something done quickly at the kitchen table. The dim bedroom, lit only by the lamp on the bedside table, has something poetic, especially when mixed with Casper's scent and his moans while Holger prepares him first with one finger, then two and finally three. He tries to imitate the gestures that Casper has always expertly done for him.
He loves seeing his boyfriend get off from this other perspective.
“Holg… I want you now”
After leaving him one last kiss, the younger one goes to approach the drawer where he keeps the condoms but Casper blocks him, trapping him between his hips.
“I want all of you” he specifies, piercing him with his clear eyes. Holger smiles brightly and steals yet another infinite kiss.

*

Their breathing begins to regularize and a relaxed silence full of tenderness fills the room.
Holger has his head resting on Casper's chest, the major holds him tightly in his arms. The sheets partially cover their naked bodies.
If they had told him that feeling Casper's warmth around him would be so addictive, Holger would have found the courage much sooner.
For his part, Casper still seems dazed by the wave of pleasure that overwhelmed him.
It's as if their bodies were made to fit together like puzzle pieces.
“Can't we stay like this our whole lives?” Holger asks, his voice dreamy, as Casper laughs softly and leaves a kiss in his sweaty hair.
“It seems like an interesting way to spend your existence”
Holger chuckles.
He turns onto his stomach, peering up at Casper's face with those huge blue eyes, so deep you could drown in them.
“I love your insecurities and flaws too, you know that?” the older one breaks the silence, surprising him.
“But I don't want you to be unsure about us, ever, you shouldn't have any doubts about how I feel about you”
Holger's cheeks turn slightly red.
“You can't tell me these things, okay? You'll give me a stroke sooner or later and you'll be forced to call my mother to tell her that you killed me."
In fact it is rare for Casper to be the frank one between the two, hearing him talk so openly about his feelings stuns Holger, moving him and making him feel so profoundly lucky.
Casper smiles at him, caressing his silky smooth cheek. Holger doesn't have a single beard, while he shaves carefully every two days to avoid scratching him.
“I'm serious Holg”
“I know, sorry, often I don't know how to control my emotions... but you are the only certainty I have besides tennis Casp, maybe even more than that”
A shiver runs up his spine as Holger says those words with the most sincere tone in the world.
Casper holds him even tighter, the Dane's skin is warm under his hands.
They spend some time without saying anything, the silence broken only by their rhythmic breathing and the rain falling lightly on Monte-Carlo.
For a moment Casper thinks Holger has fallen asleep but then he feels his fingers tracing circles on his bare stomach.
“Does it scare you that everyone else knows about us?” he asks then, unable to help himself.
He wants to make sure that everything is okay between them now and he prefers not to keep anything inside.
Holger remains relaxed with his face hidden between Casper's neck and shoulder, without batting an eyelid.
“I'm happy we don't have to hide anymore, at least on tour”
Casper understands what he means.
The tour is a bit of their safe haven, there are the people they see most often during the season and with whom they compete on the playing field, people who share their same passion and their same lifestyle. Their friends, too.
In some ways it is important for Holger to feel comfortable in the ATP.
“It won't always be easy, you know that, right?” he asks again, cautiously.
It would be nice to think that everyone, inside and outside the tennis world, will always be kind and supportive. Casper knows that won't be the case. People can be really mean sometimes.
“It's okay if you are with me” Holger murmurs, this time in a softer voice.
He's so cute, Casper feels compelled to protect him from the world.
He kisses his temple, lingering with his lips a few moments longer than necessary to imprint his scent well on him.
“I'm always with you babe”

*

"So? Did your brother show up to the party or is this the right time for me to resign?”
Aneke enters the kitchen of the Rune household in Copenhagen where Alma is having breakfast.
The girl is scrolling through her social media from her iPad and Aneke knows perfectly well that the photos from last night have already been published.
A photo of Holger and Casper kissing during the buffet at the Country Club fills the entire display. 
Alma doesn't know whether to laugh hysterically, be happy or fear for her mother's sanity.
“Well… if I were you I would take the day off”
Aneke, however, incredibly half-smiles.