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Sung Hanbin is nervous. But naturally, that is a given, since today is his big day after all. He was finally getting married to the girl of his dreams after only a couple of months of dating. He paces around the dressing room, adjusting the dress shirt cuffs on his wrist, a loosened tie hanging around his neck flopping along with him as he goes. The neatly ironed silver blazer is laid diligently on top of the chair beside the mirror in the middle of the room. Hanbin sighs, he cannot help but feel nervous. Although this is supposed to be a happy day for him, why does he feel like there is a huge lump of something stuck in his throat? At times, it's almost like he can't breathe. He stops in his tracks in front of the mirror, deciding to take a few deep breaths to calm down. It's normal for him to be this nervous, he says to himself. It's perfectly fine, every groom goes through this like 30 minutes before the wedding, right? Right.
"Breathe in, breathe out," Hanbin says to himself in the mirror, looking dead in the middle. He's too preoccupied with the breathing exercise to notice the door of the dressing room open and a young man dressed in a black blazer walk in. He comes up behind Hanbin, putting two warm hands on his shoulders, startling the latter.
"Ah! Hao!" Hanbin exclaims as he turns around. "I didn't notice you coming in, sorry"
"Checking yourself out in the mirror?" The other man asks teasingly. Hanbin smiles "No.. just nervous, I guess. It's fine though." Hao smiles back. Hanbin's shoulders instantly relax, as if on command.
His bride-to-be's brother, Zhang Hao, as well as his best man at their wedding, is dressed in a black blazer with a freshly picked white rose tucked in one of his upper pockets. His white dress shirt is unbuttoned at the front, revealing his collarbones. His blonde hair is parted messily in the middle, but it looks stylish. Hanbin can't help but look him up and down. "You look really good." He says after a while and turns back around to face the mirror. Zhang Hao smiles to himself and meets Hanbin's gaze in the reflection. A comfortable silence spreads across the room, as the two men enjoy each other's presence.
It has always been like this with Zhang Hao and Hanbin. They understand each other without needing to say much, they share the same taste in everything; It's almost as if they're soulmates. Almost.
When Hanbin met Zhang Hao for the first time, it was like fate. Both of them worked as part-timers at coffee shops situated right across each other on different sides of the same street. When Hanbin checked into work, Hao did too. When Hao left his shift, Hanbin too, was busy closing up. They naturally grew close, visiting each other's coffee shops every other day during lunch break. Hao would treat Hanbin to his signature drink, a double espresso shot rose latte. Hanbin would then bring Hao his own drink, a pecan-flavored cappuccino. On days when they didn't have a lot of customers, they both would slip out of the cafes to enjoy quick smoke breaks and talk about any random thing they could think of. And if Hanbin would catch his gaze lingering on Hao a little longer every time he talked about something he enjoyed and smiled that beautiful, radiating smile of his, he would simply ignore it and hide that unknown feeling away at the bottom of his heart.
It was also Zhang Hao who coincidentally introduced him to his future fiancee. At first, Hanbin thought that she was just Hao in a wig. They looked so identical he could barely tell them apart. She even had the same moles as Zhang hao, under her eye and on her cheek. They got introduced to each other after Hao suggested they pay a visit to his house to pick something up.
She was a pretty thing, his future girlfriend. Short, dyed red hair, kind eyes, and a smile almost as radiant as Hao's. They grew close fast, with all three of them going to eat out together occasionally. Days of hanging out turned into weeks, and then into months. They started dating naturally, with her asking out Hanbin on one cold, winter night. Hanbin remembers it clearly, it was midnight, a single lamp post illuminating a snow-covered park in the middle of December. They stood still in silence. She asked him out. How could Hanbin say no? She looked so much like Zhang ha-
"Hanbin," Zhang hao snaps him back to reality. Hanbin's inhales sharply. What was he just thinking of? "I came here today because I got you a little gift, actually. I wanted to give this to you.. It's not much but.." The blonde man starts, reaching his hand into the pockets of his pants only to pull out a thin, silver necklace with a small star charm hanging from it. He walks closer to Hanbin and stops an inch behind him. Their gazes still fixated on each other's in the mirror. "I got you this necklace, do.. do you mind if I..?" Hanbin shakes his head instantly. The older man brings his fingers to the nape of Hanbin's neck, brushing what is left of his freshly shaven undercut away. Hanbin's breath hitches at the skin contact.
"Hao.. it's beautiful. Thank you" the man of the hour starts, mesmerized by the gift, bringing his fingers up to touch the necklace gently. "But you really didn't have to."
"It reminded me of you. The star." Hao whispers behind him, his breath tickling Hanbin's neck. He puts his right hand on Hanbin's shoulder, tightening his grip on it "I'm really glad I met you Hanbin, I really do.." he trails off
Hanbin's eyes start watering. He's not sure why. Hao slowly lowers his head and buries it on top of the younger man's shoulder, the strands of his messy blonde hair falling on top. Hanbin brings his hand up to gently ruffle Hao's hair.
His heart hurts. His throat is dry and his fingers start trembling slightly, he's not sure what this feeling is. The same feeling he always has when he's around Zhang Hao. Hao makes him happy, he makes him smile and he makes him giddy. He's never felt the same emotions he feels with the older man when he's with anyone else, even his future bride-to-be. They may look identical, but her smile doesn't shine as bright as Hao's, her laugh is pretty, but doesn't send a flood of butterflies spiraling in his stomach, her eyes twinkle, but Hao's hold the stars and the galaxy. But Hanbin likes her. He has to. It's only naturally he would like her, she's everything a man could ever dream of. Then why does Hanbin feel so bad, why does he feel like being with her is wrong but being next to Hao, holding his face like he's doing now, smiling at him, and laughing with him feel so right?
A sudden knock on the door of the dressing room interrupts his thoughts before he's able to process anything. Zhang Hao instantly moves away from him, walking closer to the corner of the room. It's Hao's father, the man walking his bride-to-be down the aisle. "Ready for the big event, champ?" He asks, face full of glee and joy. "You're needed in the hall in 5 minutes." Hanbin nods at him and shoots him a smile. He doesn't know if it's genuine anymore. Scanning the room, Hao's father notices the older twin, "Oh Hao, you're here too? I think it's better if you come with me right now, we need to check the seating positions" Hao's father says, and after his son nods, he leaves, leaving the two men alone together again.
Hanbin's smile drops. He stares aimlessly at the shut door.
"Hanbin?" Zhang Hao quietly says as he inches closer to the door "I'll see you at the banquet hall then. You got this." he shoots him a weak smile, leaving Hanbin alone.
The small dressing room suddenly feels huge. Hanbin feels like it's about to swallow him whole.
And when in the next ten minutes he's all dressed up in a dashing white suit, standing at the end of the aisle, with his bride-to-be coming up to him at the hall, he doesn't meet her eyes. Instead, staring off into the seating area he locks eyes with Zhang Hao. Zhang Hao's smile does not reach his eyes. The freshly picked white rose tucked into his front pocket from earlier has started to wilt.
The bride-to-be's footsteps are getting closer with each passing second.
Hanbin's throat goes dry.