Archive of Our Own ^beta

You’re asleep beside her, golden light filtering in through the curtains of your dorm room. Angie’s unique music pounds through the walls and into her skull, the stench of alcohol just a door away. How you have managed to rest in this place is beyond her, but she will not complain if it means she has a few more moments here, with you.

She carefully brushes the hair from your face, fingers ghosting against your skin, hesitant. Your warmth is inviting, calling for her to rest in your arms and enjoy the peace before it is broken. But the painful throb of her heart warns her against such action. The closer she gets, the more it hurts.

You came back to her, again.

Three times you have fallen in love with her, three times you have picked her. Twice you have restored her heart, once when you very first arrived and once after Donna numbed it at Miranda’s behest. You had seen it all, chosen every person available to you, and still you returned.

You remember nothing of it, from what she can tell. When you first saw her, and stumbled against the student council table for the millionth time, there was no familiarity in your perfect eyes. When she introduced herself, there was no realization, no recollection, nothing. And still, you offered to be her vice president, you stood up for her at Miranda’s incredulous look and vague threats, you danced with her. You believed her at face value when she said she had felt truly heartless before she met you, knowing nothing of how true it really was, but you let her kiss you anyway.

You had acted with Cassandra, and fallen by her hand. You had broken Daniela’s curse, escaped to a village safely. Her mother had wooed you, and you had disappeared mysteriously not long after. You drank with Angie, and you wound up working in Donna’s shop twice. Miranda had you in her clutches for a single, excruciating round.

Now you are in her arms, oblivious to all of it, yet somehow still here. With her. Again.

What determines your choice, she wonders. What brings you back to her, in direct opposition to Miranda's claim of being your soulmate? What made you more interested in theater than partying, then vice versa? What brought you to Daniela one day, and Donna the next? In every heartbreaking timeline, you are still you. You change a little each time, but your interests, your past, your personality, it all stays fairly consistent. It is as if you are living in different facets of your own personality, each one a little more right for one woman than another. Is there a true you in all of that?

One thing she does know is that you might not love her in each timeline, but she loves each and every version of you. She hopes that maybe, just maybe, you coming back to her is a sign. That some part of you is more drawn to her, for some reason. Did a piece of her heart get lodged in yours, always bringing you back together? She kept tabs on you every time, in every life. She convinced her sister to tell her what was going on with her new roommate, she kept eyes on Miranda as much as she safely could. She … talked to Donna. At first, at least. Before she….

You mumble a bit in your sleep, saying something concerning about Angie and a lobster tank, before dozing back off. Her heart squeezes, oozing fondness and fear into her veins. She doesn't know how long she will have with you today, in this timeline. She never does.

She locks her fingers with yours, squeezing I love you into them. She taught you this form of nonverbal affection last time, in Italy. She has not introduced you to it yet, but she smiles at the memories. She hopes you make it to Italy again. She wants to take you to different stores, bring you back to the ones you liked before. Watch your smile make every timeline worth enduring.

Lost in thought, she almost misses it.

You squeeze back, exactly as you used to, sleepily whispering,

“I love you too.”