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It wasn't that Papyrus hated Grillby’s, or its proprietor. It wasn't anything about the location, the patrons, or anything specific about the food. It wasn’t even anything he could name.
Trips to the restaurant would start well enough, he was able to enter and take a seat without any problems. Often, he could even order food. On good days, he might even be able to eat it.
He would never make it to dessert.
Eventually though, his chest would tighten. His mind would ice over. The surface of his bones would tingle, and his chest would catch on the air drawn to his soul. Papyrus would begin to shake, and his eyes would go out of focus, and the room would seem to darken around him. Papyrus would lose himself, mind going to places he wouldn't remember.
He felt terrible. He wouldn't come out of it until someone shook him out of it. Once he did, the rest of the day would be ruined. He had to sleep, which he was loath to do, to recover at all. Until he did that, we would keep slipping into the fugue state, losing minutes throughout his day.
When Papyrus was at the restaurant with his brother or Grillby, they would catch it quickly. If he was just there with the regulars, or the dogs, he might be out for 15 minutes or more. Those times were the worst.
Once Undyne had tried taking him to Grillby’s, after one of their cooking sessions resulted in Sans shooing them out of the house. They arrived during one of the busiest times, and it had taken almost half an hour to get a table. Then Undyne had passed out onto the table, and shortly after Papyrus had dissociated. After this, it was almost a full 45 minutes before Grillby came by to take their order and rescued him.
Since then, he had avoided the restaurant more than ever.
It wasn't fair. Grillby was family. He was their father, even if neither of them could remember how. Papyrus knew there was more to the story than they knew.
Than he remembered.
It didn't matter.
It didn’t matter how they were family. Their feelings still remained. They might not know how they were family, but their souls did. That was enough. Even if his brother's face always had that funny smile on it when Papyrus asked, even if he didn't know why it was so hard to be there for Grillby. Papyrus always stepped up for his family.
That was why he was here today, on the diner's doorstep. It was Grillby’s 75th anniversary, at least for the location here in Snowdin. The whole town had turned out for the event, turning it into a community potluck. Grillby was still serving some of his own food though, milkshakes and fries.
Standing at the entrance now, Papyrus fidgeted. A weight in his stomach kept him standing there. He was bringing some spaghetti he had prepared earlier with Undyne. He wasn't as good a cook as Grillby was. Grillby would've been able to help him, but Papyrus had been avoiding him lately. He was so guilty at how little he had seen him lately, and all at his own weakness.
Papyrus helped his family. Papyrus was there for his family. He needed to be there for Grillby.
He wanted to be there for Grillby, he really did. Not just out of duty, but out of their confusing family love.
His nerves still shot, he hesitated over the doorway, before pushing through the door, and into the warm restaurant.
He could do this.
Entering the restaurant, a wave of noise crashed over him.
The bar was absolutely packed. Tables had been set up around the walls, with a buffet in the center. Groups of regulars, snowdin residents, and friends from around the underground. The dogi were in the corner, playing an enormous game of poker with all the other guards. Undyne was watching the game from the edges, sitting at the bar with Asgore.
Sans sat next to them, talking with Grillby behind the counter. Sans had an empty seat next to him, with various regulars scattered across the rest of the bar. Other snowdin residents, mk’s family, the snowdrakes, and the rocks were all in booths around the room. Bonnie was by the door helping her sister, the innkeeper, manage all her kids.
Papyrus’ eye sockets settled on the center of the room, where the massive potluck had been set up. Residents and friends had brought varieties of items. Soup, cinnamon bunnies, fresh bread, hot dogs, and more. As he moved to place his spaghetti alongside the rest, he felt inadequate in comparison.
“hey papyrus, glad you made it bro” sans shook him from his worries as he appeared beside him “i saved us a seat over by grillby ok? come on over.”
“OF COURSE BROTHER, I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED THIS FOR ANYTHING!” Papyrus said, ignoring the worry sans was sending his way,
“I’LL BE RIGHT THERE, I WANT TO SAY HELLO TO UNDYNE FIRST, AND MAYBE THE DOGS. AND THEN MAYBE THE BUNNIES, OR ASGORE!” he said, starting to sweat a bit in shame
Sans shot him a look “... bro, come on over. i know you’ve been stressing about today, come on over and get some food, it’ll help. you can people surf after some time with us ok?”
He shuffled a bit “i know you’re sorta uncomfortable being here, i won't push you on this, but its not worth stressing about. grillby loves you, he's not upset you’ve been avoiding him lately, just concerned for you.”
“I-I KNOW BROTHER ITS JUST THAT-”
“its ok bro, relax”
“I-I OK BROTHER, I’M ON MY WAY”
“Cool” sans breathed out, turning around and heading back to the seats he had saved “thanks”
Papyrus started after him, following the path the short skeleton carved through the crowd. His steps became hesitant, before slowing, and fretting. He could do this.
Papyrus pushed his worries lower, and continued on after his brother.
Papyrus had delayed the short trip to his spot with his brother, striking up hellos with almost everyone in his path. He tried to start a longer conversation with Undyne, but she recognized what he was trying to do, and shoved him after his brother with an encouraging smile.
He delayed for as much as he could, feigning interest in a corkboard showing photos and snippets of information about Grillbys through the years. Some of the images showed a family photo of Grillby, Sans, and Papyrus.
who was taking this picture again?
Eye sockets catching on an image of Grillby and a stranger in black building the Snowdin location.
He began disassociating here when a voice spoke from behind him, shaking him from his stupor.
“Hey kiddo…”
He started, turning suddenly. “D-DAD!”
“Sorry, to startle you.” Grillby stood there, mugs in hand, a sheepish expression on his fiery face. It had taken Papyrus a lifetime of interaction to be able to read his father this well.
“I-ITS NO PROBLEM! I WAS JUST ON MY WAY OVER WHEN I – WHEN I -”
“Something catch your eye on my memory board?”
“Y-YES I WAS JUST LOOKING AT THIS PHOTO HERE” Papyrus turned around to point at the photo of Grillby and the stranger
(father)
. He couldn't find it
“WAIT WHERE DID - ” Papyrus started, confusion evident on his face
“Come sit down kiddo, are you alright?”
“THE PHOTO WAS JUST HERE !?”
“I'm sure it was kiddo, sorry about that. I lose stuff in here all the time.” Grillby chuckled “Sometimes I’ll find them in the wrong place days later, it just happens, some twist of the magic in here I suppose. Maybe
Gast
Alphys could look into it one day, but she has other priorities right now I suppose”
“Y-YEAH, I’LL COME SIT DOWN WITH YOU SORRY”
“It's no problem kid” he said, moving them back to the bar, papyrus sitting down, and Grillby sitting down next to him for a change. “I got us some milkshakes, sans is grabbing some fries, those were always
your dad’s
your favorites.”
“I-I YEAH, THANK YOU” Papyrus said, feeling his bones begin to tingle before he shook himself out of it
Sans returned with the fries. Sans casting privacy magic around them, the three of them sat eating in silence for a moment before Papyrus and Grillby spoke up at the same time.
“Kiddo I’m – “
“DAD I’M - “
Grillbys flame rippled slightly in amusement and anxiety “Sorry, go ahead pap”
“I’M SORRY I’VE BEEN AVOIDING YOU. AVOIDING HERE” he said, eye lights locked on his milkshake. “IT'S JUST THAT-”
“It's ok kiddo, I know what this place does to you…” Grillbys flame flickered “uh - sorry for interrupting you.”
“THANKS GRILLBY.”
“I APPRECIATE IT.”
“If I’m being honest though, I haven't been great to you either. I thought I needed to give you some space, but I should have still tried to see you a bit at your boy's place. I’m sorry”
“grillby” Sans piped up before quieting himself, and shooting a look at his brother, letting him continue.
“T-THANKS DAD.”
They sat there in silence a moment longer thinking to themselves.
“IT’LL BE ALRIGHT. WE’RE FAMILY AFTER ALL. FAMILY ALWAYS STICK TOGETHER” Papyrus said “BUT YOU’RE RIGHT, IT MIGHT BE BETTER IF WE GET TOGETHER MORE OUTSIDE OF THE RESTAURANT. I’D LOVE TO GET SOME POINTERS ON MY COOKING”
“That would be lovely pap! I need to make sure to pass down the family recipes to you! I taught some to you as a kid, but its been so long…” Grillby trailed off
“ITS OK, I’M SORRY I’D BEEN AVOIDING YOU THESE LAST FEW YEARS”
“Its ok, Its been painful for all of us bud, I think we’re all sorry”
“YEAH”
“Thanks for coming kiddo, it really means alot to have both you boys here with me” Grillby said “I don’t know what I’d do without you”
The small family sat together in silence, eating their milkshakes. As they did so, Papyrus felt happy here for the first time in years. As if whatever was haunting him, reminding him of a past he was not allowed to remember, was moving on. Or maybe, here with his family now, he simply felt better equipped to handle it.
Whatever the issue, here with his family, he knew he would be taken care of. He was loved, and so were they. As Sans dropped his privacy magic, and the world seemed to come alive around the trio, he knew that whatever he would face, they would all face as a family.
As the party continued around him, well wishers came and went. Papyrus felt himself becoming more tired. Beginning to slump onto Grillby, he became more relaxed than he had been in years here. Falling into a deep familiar sleep among his family, he was at peace.