Chapter Text
Once every month the agents were given a select day off, free to do whatever they pleased.
Being the rowdy kids they were, the entire friend group consisting of Jett, Neon, Phoenix, Yoru, Raze, Killjoy, Gekko, and Iso were gathered around the lounge. While the older agents had gone out to a bar, they decided to get shitfaced inside the compound.
Halfway through the night, Phoenix had gotten drunk enough to jump onto a table, yelling at the top of his lungs.
“Let’s get this shit started!”
The fairly calm ambience quickly turned chaotic. Yoru forcing alcohol down Iso’s throat, Neon wincing as Gekko smashed a bottle over Phoenix’s head, and plugging her ears as Raze turned up the music.
Everytime I think it can’t get worse than last time, I’m always proven wrong.
She barely avoided getting crushed under the firebird who was tackling Gekko to the ground.
I need more alcohol.
Amidst everything, Neon’s eyes drifted over to the wind girl, slumped over at the bar. There were two empty bottles of soju littered on the table, a third on the floor. Any sane person would’ve stopped on the first bottle, blacking out on the second.
But Jett wasn’t normal, and Neon knew better than to underestimate her best friend’s alcohol tolerance.
The lightning agent knew Jett wasn’t completely in the right state of mind when she put a hand on the wind girl’s shoulder.
No reaction.
She gently shook her, careful not to overdo it.
Still nothing.
Neon frowned, a little concerned. Jett wasn’t a huge fan of excessive physical contact. Especially if she didn’t know who it was coming from. Surely the wind girl hadn’t blacked out already, it was only 11PM.
Leaning in closer, Neon gently rolled her friend to the side to try and get a look at her face—
—Only to see a glimpse of a grin before getting tackled to the ground.
“Oof—!”
Falling onto her back, Neon wheezed as Jett laid on top of her.
“Hey, Sparky!”
“Jett… You asshole…” Neon groaned, trying to heave the wind girl off of her.
Normally she would complain about her back hurting from the fall, but Jett had learned to cushion the landing with wind. It was a trick so clever it had Neon questioning whether Jett tackled her for a hug or to have fun.
Neon found she didn’t care either way.
“Get offff…” The lightning agent begged. “You’re going to crush me, please.”
Jett hesitantly sat up from Neon with a grin. The pressure was relieved from her chest, but Jett remained sitting on top of her, keeping her on the floor.
“You’re the one always asking for hugs. I’m just giving you what you want.” Jett teased, cheeks flushed red.
That was indication enough the wind girl had a decent amount to drink already.
“Oh my god, you’re fucking drunk.” Neon groaned once more. “You know this isn’t what I meant.”
At least she’s not slurring her words yet.
“I dunno.” Jett mused, “You look pretty comfy with me on top of you. I’m not sure you want me to get off.”
“Maybe I don’t.” Neon bit back, taking a moment to process her comment.
… I guess she’s not the only one.
Neon wasn’t quite sure why she was scolding Jett about taking it slow when she herself already had more than enough alcohol. Not at the point of having waking up to a hangover, but enough to be flirting back with Jett.
“Oooo~” Jett grinned, settling onto Neon’s stomach in a suggestive position. “Someone’s flirty today.”
Neon wasn’t sure if her face was burning from the alcohol or Jett’s tease.
“Jett stop being such a heartbreaker!” Raze yelled at them from the set of couches across the room.
The two duelists on top of each other both glanced towards her. Jett rolled her eyes, “Shut up! We know you already have Killjoy, okay?! You guys— AHH—!”
Jett was cut off as Phoenix lifted her off Neon. He dodged a smack from the wind girl before setting her down.
The lightning agent had her gaze still fixed onto Jett.
Heartbreaker, huh?
“Need some help?” He offered, reaching a hand down to Neon.
“Thanks.” The lightning agent accepted, letting him pull her back to her feet as she brushed herself off.
Jett sighed, crossing her arms. “Why are you such a killjoy, pretty boy?”
Neon tried to ignore the use of the nickname Jett had designated for Phoenix.
She failed.
“Someone has to keep you in check.” The firebird rolled his eyes, snatching one of the empty soju bottles off the counter. He took a peek inside before flipping it upside down, not a drop spilling out.
“And they don’t believe me when I say you’re an alcoholic.” He mused.
Jett flipped him off, “‘Cause I’m not. A girl needs to let loose once in a while.”
“Stop bickering!” Raze shouted once more, this time with a group of people congregating near her. “We’re playing a game, get over here!”
“Okaaayy!” Jett yelled back, turning to the other two duelists. “Let’s go!”
Phoenix flashed Jett a smile before throwing the wind girl over his shoulder. Jett yelped, giggling as he carried her over to the group fireman style.
Neon watched them gallop over, biting her lip. She followed along, trailing behind the two making a scene.
Not jealous. It’s okay.
Following her duelist friends over to the group, they slot themselves into the circle, sitting on the floor. Neon was sure if someone walked in at that moment it would look like a cult gathering.
“Alright, is everyone here?” Raze glanced around, doing a quick head count.
“Are we really playing games?” Yoru complained, “This isn’t a high school party.”
“Yep! It may not be high school but you sure act like one.” Raze pulled out a bottle with an evil grin. “Drinking is fun and all, but we need to spice it up a bit. Everyone ready for a fun night?”
“Spin the bottle? Really?” Yoru yawned, “Boring.”
Killjoy smacked the rift walker in the back of the head. “You’re somehow worse when drunk, you know that?”
Raze snickered, watching Yoru rub the back of his head with a scowl. “C’mon, we aren’t that basic. Everyone’s done that before, which is why we’re doing 7 minutes in heaven.”
Killjoy grinned, “Who wants to go first?”
——
Neon thought it was a stupid game. What was the point? Everyone here already knew each other decently well and she doubted things would play out like they normally did in highschool movies. None of them were sex hungry fiends and she highly doubted anyone would even kiss.
It would just be two people sitting in a stuffy closet for 7 minutes, what was anyone supposed to do?
That was what she thought before Killjoy mentioned the soundproofing she’d done on the closet. It was still cramped, but Raze said that’s what made it fun. Everyone was forced to take another shot or five before spinning the bottle, and Neon had to admit it wasn’t her smartest choice.
Phoenix also suggested they shuffle seats in the circle just to make it even more random. Neon didn’t like the way Jett immediately agreed with him.
Yoru had been forced to go first after being the one to make fun of the idea. He reluctantly spun it, the bottle landing on the German engineer. He paled as Killjoy cracked a smile, forcing him on his feet.
Neon let herself chuckle a little as the two walked out 7 minutes later with Yoru rubbing the bruise on the back of his head.
Raze hi fives her girlfriend before giving her a peck on the cheek. The lightning agent sighed, knowing that would be the only romantic thing happening that night.
The second round starts with Iso spinning the bottle and the cork landing on Gekko. The two grin at each other, Iso shaking his head with a chuckle.
They were good friends and Neon didn’t expect anything except talking to come out of their time. They walked in chatting about who knows what and came out with Iso getting chased by wingman.
Next was Killjoy who got Raze. Neon was convinced that was rigged in their favour. Of course the only couple would get matched up to spend time in there. Raze had been the one to produce the bottle so there was reasonable suspicion placed on the two, but Neon was too drunk to care.
Everyone already knew they were going to kiss, the only question was if they were bold enough to go beyond that. Neon sincerely hoped not, especially with them knowing others would go in afterwards.
Thankfully, they came out exactly on time, the only thing indicating anything had happened was the smudged lipstick.
They shuffled seats again and Neon took the chance to sit next to Jett again. She rested her head on the wind girl’s shoulder, dozing off as someone spun the bottle.
Neon felt someone poke her nose, jolting as she opened her eyes. Jett stared down at her, eyes droopy from the alcohol.
“You okay?” The Korean asked, “You seem kinda out of it.”
“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Neon yawned, “Just a little tired.”
As she closed her eyes once more, she heard someone whistle, accompanied by a few gasps.
Her eyes snapped open as she watched it slow to a stop, the cork pointing at Jett. Neon felt a tinge of jealousy, wondering who’d scored the jackpot before vaguely remembering who was next in turn.
The lightning agent’s eyes shot up, a stab of jealousy and pain striking her heart as she laid eyes on the agent who spun it.
Him with his stupid British accent and charming flare.
Phoenix.
Just when Neon’s night couldn’t get any worse.
The lightning agent pursed her lips, reluctantly shifting her weight off of her friend. Jett seemed to notice her hesitancy, gently squeezing Neon’s hand. “I’ll be right back, okay? Hang tight, Sparky.”
Jett flashed a drunken smile, watching the firebird stand up and returning the grin. She accepted his hand, letting him pull her onto her feet.
“Finally something interesting.” Yoru smirked, “Go get ‘em pretty boy .”
Neon felt her heart ache.
Even Yoru’s cheering them on, huh? Why wouldn’t he? Phoenix is his best friend.
Jett rolled her eyes playfully as Killjoy elbowed her, whispering into her ear in excitement.
The lightning agent tried to drown out the noise as everyone cheered, watching each step as they approached the closet.
Neon felt the hole in her heart grow exponentially larger as the door shut close behind the pair. She wanted to cry, but knew she never would. She suffocated the pain like she always did.
She didn’t have the right to be jealous, really. Neon didn’t control Jett’s life, nor have any power over the wind girl’s decision. Jett flirted with everyone from time to time, that’s just how she was. It was how she expressed affection, how she complimented people.
She noticed the way Jett acted around Phoenix, especially this past week. Everyone did. Jett smiled brighter, laughed harder. Her flirtatious jokes directed more towards the firebird. And that nickname. That stupid, fucking, nickname.
The two weren’t even dating, but it sure didn’t feel that way.
Practically everyone in the protocol had already accepted they were a pair. It was just a matter of time before they came out as official. Neon might cry herself to death when that day comes.
Neon wanted her feelings to leave, she wanted to give up on chasing this hopeless dream. But every time Jett dropped a suggestive remark, every time she blew a kiss or dropped a comment, Neon fell for her again.
Jett’s love was like a drug and Neon was addicted to it.
She knew it was bad, both for her and as a friend, but she just wanted more. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Jett how much it affected her when the wind girl slid a hand too low or spoiled her like a princess. Everything Jett did for Neon made her heart grow.
And now it was all shattering down, crashing and burning as Jett and Phoenix approached the closet. She watched them step in, heart heavy as she saw them holding hands as the door shut.
“Those two have been getting awfully close, no?” Iso mused.
Gekko nodded, “Yeah, Phoenix talks about her a lot. Good for them.”
“They’re not even dating.” Neon muttered bitterly.
“Not yet .”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if they came out of the closet and announced it.” Killjoy admitted, “Too bad I made it soundproof, right?”
Neon zoned out the conversation around her, staring at the ground.
They’re just friends. Sure she flirts with him, but she does that with everyone. Phoenix isn’t anymore than I am to her… right?
Each second passed with the length of a month, each minute a year.
Her brain was buzzing, thoughts coming in and leaving within the span of seconds.
What were they doing in there? Flirting? Kissing? Neon swears if it’s any of the above or worse, she’ll claw her eyes out and jump off a balcony.
Every second they spent in that closet was driving her crazy. She tried to hide how bothered she was, failing miserably. While everyone else was excited, cheering the two duelists on, Neon was moping, debating a painless way to die.
They were definitely talking, but about what? Were they going to walk out holding hands? Maybe Phoenix would walk out carrying Jett like he did earlier. Neon didn’t want to see that again.
If they did start dating, would Jett stop spending time with her? Surely she’d give Phoenix more attention once they announced their relationship as official.
Neon bit the inside of her cheek, not bothering to hide the frown on her face anymore. For once in her life, she just wanted to know. She wanted to find out what they were talking about, tear the stupid closet down and destroy the soundproofing.
But what if they were kissing? What if he was making her laugh, making her happy? At the end of the day, all she wanted was for Jett to get the life she deserved. But if she heard Jett laughing with him, that sparkle in her eyes only Phoenix could ignite, she might pass out.
The lightning agent would be lying if she said the thought of Jett dating someone else didn’t piss her off. Again, she had no right to dictate Jett’s relationships, platonic or romantic, but it hurt. It hurt that Jett kept flirting with her, keeping the feelings she’d been trying to drown afloat, all while the wind girl ditched her for Phoenix every time.
The firebird didn’t deserve Jett. Jett was hers —-
Neon cut herself off, instantly regretting where her thought process was going.
What am I saying…?
She just wanted Jett to be happy. If the Korean liked Phoenix, which she probably did, there was nothing Neon could do. She’ll be supportive, she’ll be there as a friend .
Nothing more.
“You good?” Yoru asked, peering over the lightning agent.
Neon scowled, “What do you want?”
He raised his hands, surprised by the aggression. “Geez, woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”
The lightning agent huffed, “Go away.”
“What’s got you so pissed off? You looked happy a moment ago.”
“...”
Neon’s gaze drifted over to the closet, eyebrows furrowing.
Yoru followed her line of sight, inhaling sharply as everything clicked in his brain. Neon glared at him, “I know what you’re going to say. Shut up.”
“Neon, I forgot you said you—“
“ Shut up.”
The rift walker fell silent, mouthing out an apology. Neon ignored it, scowling.
I hate this. I hate everything. Of course he only remembers now. He seemed perfectly happy cheering those two on earlier.
Glancing over at her friend, Neon couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for snapping at Yoru like that. It was a rare sight to see him so somber.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
After a decade of waiting, the timer went off from inside the closet. Everyone fell into silence, attention focused on the closet, waiting for them to step out.
Neon felt sick. All that was left was for the two to walk out and announce they were dating.
The doors are pushed open, leaving everyone with varying reactions upon seeing Phoenix’s jacket on Jett’s shoulders.
“Sharing clothes now, are we?” Gekko joked.
“Pipe down, short stuff.” Phoenix retorted, brushing off his clothes as he walked out behind the wind girl. “I might stuff you in there next.”
Iso chuckled, moving aside to let the two join the circle once more. Jett returned to her spot beside Neon, flashing the lightning agent a warm smile before pulling her in for a hug.
“Sorry I kept you waiting, hope you didn’t miss me too much, Sparky.”
Neon let herself get suffocated in Jett’s arms, wincing at how tightly she was being held. “…How’d it go?”
Jett sighed, “As you’d expect it to.”
Neon wrinkled her nose.
“As you’d expect it to?” What the fuck does that mean? Does she know that everyone already ships them together?
Neon barely caught a whisper of Phoenix and Yoru’s conversation from across the circle.
“…—tell her yet?” Yoru asked, arms crossed.
Phoenix nodded. “Yeah, it went well.”
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse.
The lightning agent zoned back to the person in front of her, a tinge of annoyance when she saw Jett staring at Phoenix.
“Your face is kinda red.” Neon pointed out bitterly, trying to change the topic.
Jett shook her head, smiling sheepishly as she shrugged off the firebirds jacket. “Yeah, that’s what happens when you wear a radiance heated jacket, I guess.”
Or maybe because he was flirting with you.
“Hey, don’t just talk individually!” Raze interrupted, “Well? How’d it go?”
Jett shrugged, shaking her head with a small smile. “I dunno.”
“What do you mean ‘I dunno’?!” Killjoy groaned, “C’mon… Where’s all the juicy stories?”
Phoenix gently shoved the engineer, sighing playfully. “Cut her some slack, do you see her right now? She’s too drunk to talk.”
The group zeroed in on the firebird. Raze jerked a finger at him. “Well you seem perfectly capable to share. Go on, spill!”
“We just sat in there and talked for a bit.” He rolled his eyes, “You guys are expecting too much. It was stuffy as shit though, you might wanna add some ventilation.”
Killjoy frowned, “Really?”
“What? It’s a good idea.” Phoenix defended.
Yoru rolled his eyes, “She meant the closet, dumbass.”
“Oh.”
“Well?” Iso nudged his friend. “We’re all curious.”
Neon felt the fire within her ignite once more. They all needed to stop rooting for whatever this was.
“Geez, why are you guys so horny?” Jett laughed, breaking the tension. “If you want stories so bad, go spin the damn bottle and fuck in the closet.” She paused for a moment, “You might suffocate first though, be careful.”
“PFT—“
“…Yeah she’s definitely drunk.”
“And here I thought I was a bad shitfaced.”
Neon sighed. What did she expect?
“Alright, alright!” Raze yelled, “who’s next?!”
Neon let herself zone out once more, no longer paying any attention to the game in front of her. It no longer mattered. Jett already had her time with Phoenix, and from what she caught between his conversation with Yoru, he told Jett something and received a good reaction.
Fuck me.
Neon decided she wasn’t nearly drunk enough, turning over to Jett with a bottle of soju. She smiled weakly.
“…Do you mind helping me open this?”
Jett grinned back, snatching the beverage out of her hands. “I thought you’d never ask.”
The next few rounds pass in a blur, the lightning agent not being able to think of anything except Phoenix and Jett. She barely even remembered the pairs that entered the closet.
Iso and Killjoy, boring.
Herself and Gekko, they had an okay conversation, but her mind was elsewhere the entire time.
And then the bomb dropped.
Neon felt her stomach twist into a knot as the bottle landed on her once more.
She should’ve been happy, ecstatic, even.
But all she felt was guilt and horror as she glanced up to see the person who’d spun the bottle, only to see Jett staring back at her with wide eyes.
This was wrong on so many levels. Just when she finally decided to give up on Jett, she’d been pulled back into the ruthless cycle that never seemed to end.
Neon’s throat was dry as she glanced over at Phoenix to see him quiet. It felt like a robbery, really. Did she even have the right to go into the closet with Jett after the wind girl already had the peak of her night with Mr. “Pretty boy”?
The shock faded from Jett’s face, morphing into a smile as she chuckled to herself.
Neon didn’t know how to take that reaction. Was it a good thing? Did Jett want to spend time with her? Or was she just laughing at the stupidity of the game?
“Okay! I guess we can end the night off with some bestie bonding time.” Raze nodded, “Off you two go.
Killjoy smiled, “Try to keep your teasing to yourself, okay Jett?”
The Korean rolled her eyes, “That’s real slick coming from you two.” She turned to the lightning agent, offering a hand to Neon. “Up you get.”
Unlike her usual self Neon hesitated. She pursed her lips, unsure. Physical gestures between them weren't strange at all, but after Jett’s time with Phoenix, it didn’t feel right.
Jett was probably doing these acts purely out of friendship, which only made Neon feel even more guilty. It was wrong for her to be reciprocating, especially if she liked Jett in a different way.
But if Neon didn’t take her hand, everyone would think something was wrong.
Suppressing a sigh, the lightning agent accepted the help, letting Jett pull her onto her feet. The wind girl squeezed her into a hug, “I’m going to love every single second of this.”
Another flirt. A joke.
Doesn’t hurt or make me love her anymore than anything else she’s said.
Neon pulled away from the embrace after a moment, forcing a smile on her face. “Alright, charmer. Talk once we get inside the closet, how about that?”
Thank god she’s had enough alcohol to bluff her way through this.
The journey to the closet felt like a corridor of judgement. Whispering, both from the people gathered and her intrusive thoughts. It was her friend group, yes, but they wouldn’t think Neon would get in between Jett and Phoenix, right?
Jett was openly bisexual, and Neon wasn’t exactly hiding the fact she was gay and smitten for the wind girl. Or at least that’s what she thought.
“You’re a shitty person, let alone a friend.”
“You're going to ruin Jett’s relationship just because you’re jealous?”
“You selfish fuck, get over yourself.”
Neon grit her teeth, trying to empty her thoughts to no avail. She’d managed to suppress them for most of the night, but continuously drowning her guilt in alcohol could only do so much.
She counted the steps until they reached the closet.
20.
17.
11.
5.
3.
2…
Neon resisted the urge to sigh again as they stood in front of the wooden chamber. It looked the exact same as when she walked in with Gekko. Except this time it was with Jett.
The person she loved that didn’t love her back.
The wind girl pulled the door open, gesturing for Neon to go in first. She offered, bowing jokingly. “Ladies first.”
Neon couldn’t help but notice the slurring of Jett’s words. It made her feel slightly better knowing both of them were drunk out of their minds.
“Thank you.”
Minute One.
Stepping into the closet, it was smaller than Neon remembered.
Either that, or Jett was taking up all the space, just like she did everytime they slept over.
They pulled the doors shut, and Neon let out a groan of annoyance that she’d been holding in. They both leaned against the doors, side by side, arms brushing.
They kept silent, Neon almost jumping as Jett draped an arm over the lightning agent's shoulders and neck.
Neon didn’t feel right doing this with Jett anymore. Not after she was doing god knows what in here with Phoenix. It felt like she was unintentionally making Jett cheat on the firebird, even though they weren’t dating and in no way were they doing anything remotely romantic.
Jett seemed to feel Neon shaking against her, vibrations down the arm hooked around the lightning agent’s neck.
Normally, the wind girl would’ve just silently comforted her. A hug, maybe.
But instead, she asked openly, in a very drunken Jett fashion.
“What’s wrong, Sparky? You’re shaking a little.”
Why did I ever think she’d just let it go?
“…I—It’s nothing. I’m just a little cold.” Neon murmured, lying through her teeth.
A split second passed before she realized how bad of a lie that was.
Jett made a noise of acknowledgement before pulling Neon up against her body. The lightning agent bit down on her tongue, hard, suppressing a gasp.
It wasn’t unfamiliar to be pressed up against her friend in a hug, but it still made her stomach lurch. She felt horrible, knowing Jett already loved someone else. Everything from the context to every thought made her sick.
Jett squeezed her tighter, patting Neon’s back. “You can hug me back, you know?”
“…Yeah.”
The lightning agent swallowed thickly, bringing her arms up to wrap around Jett’s body.
“You can lie on me too.”
“…”
Fuck.
Minute Two.
After several seconds of heated debate, Neon guiltily rested her head against the crook of Jett’s neck.
The wind girl was very picky when it came to who she was physically intimate with. And once she latched onto you, she didn’t let go. Neon was lucky enough to be chosen as one of the select few.
At this point, she didn’t know whether it was a curse or a blessing.
A chill ran down her spine as she felt Jett breathing against her ear.
“You warm now?”
“Mhm.” Neon nodded, voice muffled against Jett’s hoodie. “Thanks.”
“You okay tonight?”
Her heart ached, knowing that Jett was worried about her.
“…Yeah. This game just gets old really fast.”
Jett snorted, “You can say that again. I’m not sure alcohol pairs well with this game.”
“Half of our friends get sleepy on alcohol and the other half go batshit crazy.” Neon joked.
The Korean hummed in agreement. “I’m not sure what they expect us to do when we’re all drunk.”
“Yeah.” Neon mumbled. “I wonder.”
Jett sighed, “Coming in here one time was enough, don’t you think so?”
Neon knew Jett hadn’t meant that in a way to say she didn’t like her time with Neon, but it still felt like a punch to the gut.
Of course she’d just want to be with Phoenix.
Minute Three.
“…What’d you do with Phoenix in here?”
Jett was silent for a moment before chuckling.
“Jealous?” She joked.
Neon scowled into Jett’s hoodie, glad that the wind girl couldn’t see her expression.
Of course I fucking am. He got you all to himself.
Jett took Neon’s silence as more proof to tease her. “We just talked about what we wanted in life. Our future, relationships, all that boring stuff.”
Her jealousy spiked up another notch.
Relationships. How convenient. Wouldn’t it be funny if she announced it right after this? Seven minutes in heaven; more like seven minutes until I cry.
“Did you have fun with him?”
Neon felt Jett shrug. “It was okay, I guess. About as interesting as talks in a stuffy closet can be.”
“Anything else?”
“Playing detective are we?” Jett teased, “No, not really. I almost fell asleep, but that’s it.”
Neon pursed her lips.
Should I keep digging? Or is that too much…?
“…What about his jacket?”
“Oh, I also said it was kinda cold in here so he gave me his jacket towards the end. Nothing much there.”
Her jealousy peaked.
Of course they would do that cheesy TV show shit. What’s next? They bump into each other turning a corner and accidentally kiss?
Jett nudged her, “What about you? How was talking to Gekko?”
“…Same. We just talked.”
“Mm.”
Minute Four.
It was getting too hot.
As much as she loved being held by Jett and being able to cuddle into her, Neon could feel herself starting to sweat.
She pulled back, out of Jett’s arms. The wind girl let out a noise of disappointment that had Neon’s heart throbbing.
“I’m sorry,” Neon muttered apologetically, “You’re really hot.”
She snapped her mouth shut, opening it again only to leave it agape at the realization of what she’d just uttered.
Jett didn’t let the slip up go unnoticed, but also too drunk to register it was a mistake. “Woah, calm down there Sparky.”
Neon’s face burnt, almost certain you could see her glowing in the dark.
“I didn’t mean it like—“
“You’re sexy too, but I was mostly joking about fucking in the closet.” Jett admitted. “Ask me again when we're sober, hm?”
…
WHAT?
Neon’s brain short wired as she tried to process what had left Jett’s mouth.
Was that a flirt? Yes, but was it a joke? A flirtatious comment that had no feelings behind them, the same ones Jett threw at Neon on a daily basis, just to get a reaction out of her?
Neon had no fucking idea.
As much as she hated the firebird, she had to agree the closet was too stuffy. Neon was too hot, she might pass out.
Jett was too hot, she might pass out.
Neon wanted Jett’s words to be genuine, more than she could’ve imagined in the moment, but knew not to take her chances. Both of them were drunk out of their minds, and Jett had to be joking.
She was going to break the news to Neon right then and there, come out with guns blazing.
“Sorry, Sparky. Phoenix and I are dating.”
Neon could practically hear it already.
She’d say that Neon was just a friend. That Phoenix was her boyfriend, and that they kissed in the very closet Neon was stuck in. Jett would say that she couldn’t talk to Neon as much anymore, and that flirting was off limits now.
Don’t even mention physical intimacy, because that was also out the window.
Because Jett was Phoenix’s now.
Neon had nothing personal against the firebird, but wanted to puke the thought of them together. It was too much. Too many unanswered questions; and five too many pent up emotions.
“Sparky?”
And that’s when Neon realized Jett was still waiting for a reply.
Minute Five.
Jett was immediately caressing her again.
The wind girl’s hand on Neon’s chest, cradling her as she gasped for air.
She couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know what was happening nor what happened.
Neon was about to respond to Jett’s statement when her body stopped breathing. She didn’t even remember what her reply would be, even though that was the least of her concerns at that moment.
She was sweating buckets, choked gasps and ragged breathing clawing their way out of her throat. Her eyes were wet from tears, body weak as she had no choice but to let Jett hold her up.
Was she having a panic attack? That wasn’t good. What would Jett think?
“—athe. Sparky, you’re okay. Breathe, it’ll be over soon. You’re doing so well, take a deep breath. You’re okay, I’ve got you.”
Like a beacon in the dark, Jett’s whispers in her ears grounded her like an anchor. Although some words were incoherent, the soothing tone of the wind girl's voice was enough.
Neon was sure more than seven minutes had passed before she let out one last choked gasp. She felt her airway open up again, regaining partial control of her body.
She scrambled to stand up on her own feet, but failed.
“Neon? Are you okay?” Jett whispered, holding her friend up and preventing her from collapsing.
Neon squinted as Jett brushed the lightning agent’s bangs out of her face.
“…Jett—?” She managed.
The wind girl immediately responded. “I’m here, Sparky. You’re okay, take your time. I’m with you.”
Minute Six.
“Fuck, I—I’m sorry.” Neon mumbled, tripping over her words. “I don’t know what happened. I just—“
Jett patted her head, shushing her. “Shh… It’s okay. It was just a panic attack, it’s not your fault. I’ve got you.”
What would’ve normally comforted her instead turned into a living nightmare.
Neon fought to push Jett away and respect the wind girl’s relationship with Phoenix, but couldn’t bring herself to do anything about it.
“Jett, you…”
Seeing that Neon was able to form words and breathe okay, Jett smiled. “It’s okay, don’t cry Sparky. It hurts me to see someone as beautiful as you shed tears.”
“Says—“
Neon’s equally flirty reply gets caught in her throat as she remembers where she stands. She pulls her arms back from Jett, bringing them back to hug herself as she backs away as far as possible.
She saw the confused and wounded expression on Jett’s face, making it all the worse.
“Jett, you need to stop s—saying these things.” Neon whispered guiltily. “Phoenix is just outside. He’s…”
“He’s your boyfriend.” “He’s waiting for you.” “He’s the only one for you, and I accept that knowing how much it hurts.”
What she expected to snap Jett back to reality, seemed to do the exact opposite.
The wind girl was either too drunk to realize or just didn’t seem to care. Jett stepped up to Neon once more, closing the already minimal distance between them.
“It’s not about pretty boy right now.” Jett whispered dreamily. “It’s about my pretty girl.”
Neon almost exploded upon hearing that. She bit her tongue, refusing to let herself enjoy the compliments and flirts from Jett.
She’s just drunk. She doesn’t know what she’s saying. If I bring it up tomorrow morning she’ll look at me and say it was a joke. That it’s something she’d say again because I know she’s just playing around.
Neon hated what Phoenix had managed to snag, but only because she was fiercely jealous. She knew he’d treat Jett right, probably better than Neon ever could.
She couldn’t do this to him. It would be horrible of her to do the firebird dirty like this.
“ Jett , n—no.” Neon begged, “What about Phoenix?? You two are—“
Jett scoffed…?
“Sparky… Don’t make me say it again. He’s not important right now. ” The wind girl cupped Neon’s face, whispering. “You’re more than him, always. You’ll be the one, each and every time. Always you.”
Neon opens her mouth to refute, to cry or to protest, but nothing comes out.
Jett giggled, “You’re always first, only you. Always and only you, Sparky.”
Neon is left speechless, heart on the verge of combusting and wondering if she’d finally lost it.
Minute Seven.
Everything Jett had said, from the day they met up until now, all convulsed into one. Each flirtatious remark, every gentle reassurance and all the sweet nothings Jett had been whispering into her ear.
Whether the wind girl’s drunken confession was genuine or not, Neon never in a million years thought she would cry if Jett said she loved her back.
But reality rammed into her like a truck, and it fucking hurt.
The alcohol in her system made everything so much harder to control, and Neon knew she shouldn’t have drunk more.
She let Jett and Phoenix’s relationship get to her head, and now she’s paying the price. Like a dam about to crumble, it’s too much to handle and Neom gives up.
She feels tears pool in her eyes—
“I love you, Sparky.” Jett singsonged.
—and one last comment caused them to spill over, staining her cheeks as they rolled down her face.
Jett noticed the heaving movement in Neon’s chest, as well as the change in ragged breathing. To Neon’s dismay, Jett gently held the lightning agent at an arm's reach instead of hugging her.
Inspecting her friend’s face in the dark closet, Jett frowns upon seeing the state she was in.
Neon was immediately pulled into a hug, arms around her torso squeezing reassuringly.
“Sparky, it’s okay. I’m here for you, you can cry. It’s okay, I’m here.” Jett murmured, a chant almost. “I’m sorry if that was too much. I’m sorry, It’s okay.”
Jett repeated this string of phrases into Neon’s ear as the lightning agent continued to sob into Jett’s chest.
“I—I’m so—sorry—“ Neon choked out.
“Sorry for what?”
Either Jett or her inner conscience asked. Maybe both, Neon couldn’t tell.
Sorry for crying. Sorry for being such a mess. Sorry for always needing you to take care of me.
Sorry for getting in between you and phoenix. Sorry for feeling jealous everytime he looks at you like that or when you call him pretty names.
I’m sorry for being such a shit friend, I'm sorry for falling in love with you.
Neon tried to form words but failed miserably as another round of sobs ripped through her chest.
She couldn’t pinpoint where Jett’s hands had drifted, but couldn’t bring herself to care. Her head was lifted by one of them, vision blurred by tears as she saw Jett’s deep blue eyes.
A split second later, she felt a pair of lips against her own. Jett was gentle, not forcing herself onto the younger duelist in any way. Neon felt another hand trail up her side, squeezing gently as if asking for permission.
Neon knew it was wrong. It would be horrible for her to encourage this seeing where it was headed, she’d be the worst friend one could have.
I don’t give a shit anymore.
She kissed back, whimpering into Jett’s mouth as tears glided down her cheeks.
It was beyond selfish of her, and Neon knew that. But she didn’t give a shit about Phoenix and Jett anymore, not at that moment.
Jett broke the kiss, pulling Neon back against her chest as she whispered praises into the Filipino’s ear. Neon felt her heart flutter as Jett left hundreds of kisses littered on her forehead, counting out each of them as she went along.
All she wanted and needed was for Jett to keep hugging her, to continue kissing away her pain and to never stop.
It was the only thing holding her together.