Chapter Text
“I can’t believe this.”
Wooyoung doesn’t leave an opening for one of Yunho’s usual cheerful greetings as he dumps his backpack on the table and slumps into the chair next to him. “You know who just told me they’re not going to be around for Christmas? Apparently Yeosang’s going home to visit family, too. You’re all so ready to leave me behind on this god-forsaken campus.”
With Yeosang going home for the holidays, Wooyoung has officially run out of friends to spend Christmas with.
Yunho and Mingi have been busy planning how to divide the days between their families for weeks now – working out the logistics of staying with Mingi’s family in Incheon for a couple of days before traveling all the way down to Gwangju, where they’ll meet Yunho’s parents and younger brother. Jongho had tried to opt out of family duties back in Ilsan and stay behind with Wooyoung until his mother had threatened to take the whole family down to Seoul instead. It’s not far from the city, but with his grandparents and cousins all gathering in one place, Wooyoung doubts Jongho will have the time to pay him a visit. Wooyoung had been holding onto Yeosang, best friend and roommate alike, as his last thread of hope.
“Yeosang’s told us this at the library last month,” Yunho snorts, reaching across to amicably pat Wooyoung’s shoulder. “It’s not his fault you’re shit at multitasking.”
“I was studying,” Wooyoung wails. “Excuse me for wanting to do well on my finals– Oh, hi San.” A head popping up behind Yunho’s broad frame puts an end to Wooyoung’s tirade. Wooyoung hasn’t seen Yunho’s roommate around this class for at least the past two weeks, he’s sure of it, but his pretty dimples are a welcome sight amidst Wooyoung’s despair. He smiles past Yunho at the boy, who’s looking up from his text book and the sticky note he’s been scribbling on. Wooyoung thinks he can make out the doodle of a cat between the messy writing.
“Hi Wooyoung.” San sends him a tiny smile. He pastes the sticky note onto the edge of the open book page in front of him, where Wooyoung can see it more clearly– the siamese cat stretching her paws next to San’s notes on Benford’s law. When Wooyoung looks up, San looks like he is about to say something else, but is interrupted when their professor clears her throat, signaling the beginning of class.
Wooyoung turns away from San’s kind smile with a heavy heart and fumbles his own notes and pencil case from his backpack. He may be partly at fault, but he’s not gonna let that stop him from adding Yeosang bailing out of their – admittedly unspoken – plans for the holidays to his list of top ten anime betrayals.
❅
Because Wooyoung’s last exam falls on the Friday before Christmas, he ends up cramming for his finals until the very last day of class. In the afternoon following the seminar he shares with Yunho and San he settles down at one of the study cafés near campus and digs out his notebook. He pulls up the slides from one of his past classes on his laptop and makes to write the topic on top of the blank page, when his eyes catch onto a little slip of yellow paper stuck between two pages towards the back. Wooyoung forgets all about his previous intent as he flips to the little sticky note.
Even if he hadn’t caught sight of San preparing his sticky notes earlier in the day, he has sat through enough lectures next to San to recognize his handwriting. San must have snuck it between his notes when Wooyoung was busy texting Yeonjun, his best friend from home, about his Christmas-crisis, thus rendered inapproachable by anyone from the real outside world. Maybe he does need to work on his multitasking skills.
There is the head of a tiny Santa Claus painted next to the single sentence written on the paper and Wooyoung can feel the corners of his lips tug up into a smile at the sight.
‘Would you like to spend Christmas together?’
An excited spark of hope lights in Wooyoung’s chest.
The thing is, San and him aren’t really friends. San is a pleasant presence in Wooyoung’s life, but he has always been just out of reach. They don’t meet up outside of class or hang out without Yunho’s synergizing presence between them. He’s been in Wooyoung’s orbit for over a year now, running in much of the same circles ever since Yunho moved dorm rooms after their sophomore year. And while they’re not really friends, Wooyoung has seen plenty of San to feel drawn to him.
San has been the one to let Wooyoung in and keep him company when Yunho runs late from work to one of their study dates at the dorm room Yunho shares with San. When Wooyoung came down with tonsillitis in fall, San had offered him his notes that he had taken in class without Wooyoung ever having asked for them. At one of the end-of-semester-parties at the beginning of summer they’d bumped into each other by chance and San had helped a severely inebriated Wooyoung back to his dorm room after going through the trouble of finding Yeosang’s instagram and texting him for their building and room number.
Maybe it was then, in his drunken stupor, that Wooyoung first realized how pretty San’s sharp jawline and warm eyes looked underneath the dim street lights.
He can’t say he expected something like this sticky note, yet the thought of declining San’s offer, no matter how out of the blue, doesn’t cross Wooyoung’s mind.
Buoyed by the prospect of new holiday plans (and the caffeine boost of an extra shot espresso in his hazelnut latte) Wooyoung feels significantly more productive for the next two hours. When he zips up his backpack, San’s sticky note slipped into his phone case, and exits the café into the icy winter evening, there is a little skip to his step. Wooyoung doesn’t want to keep San waiting or delay planning for Christmas any longer and he isn’t sure he’ll see San again before Sunday. The cold stiffens his fingers as he pulls up San’s contact on kakaotalk, their chat unused ever since Wooyoung’s recovery back in October, and types out his answer.
To: san 06:32 PM
hi
so
what did you have in mind for christmas?
❅
“How come you’re not mad anymore?” Yeosang squints at him from the door to their kitchen, eyes moving between Wooyoung and the dinner he’s volunteered to whip up for the two of them. “That’s not suspicious at all.”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” Wooyoung says, stirring the stew for another half minute before deciding that it’s ready for eating. “Plus, you told me, like, a month ago. I just forgot about it.”
Yeosang pins him with a deadpan stare. “You not holding a grudge is suspicious regardless of whether you were in the right or wrong,” he points out. Wooyoung shrugs. He knows that beating around the bush is not going to do him any favors in the long run. “Turns out that I do have plans for Christmas and I won’t be alone, so there’s not really a reason to be mad anymore.”
“Oh?” Yeosang asks earnestly while he fills two glasses with water from the fridge. “That’s new. What’s warranted the change in plans?”
“San did,” Wooyoung answers, blowing on a spoonful of stew to test the level of spice on his tongue. “San?” It’s fascinating to watch Yeosang’s skepticism grow the further Wooyoung goes spelling out the truth to him. He takes the pot off the stove and motions for Yeosang to grab two bowls from the cabinet, walking the hot dish over to the small kitchen table. He wonders how much further up Yeosang’s eyebrow can move in his disbelief and whether it will eventually disappear behind his bangs, if Wooyoung keeps going. “I didn’t know you guys were hanging out.”
“We weren’t,” Wooyoung turns to face Yeosang after safely placing down their food and offers him a shrug. “But he overheard me complain to Yunho in class today and later slipped me a note asking if I wanted to spend Christmas with him. So I guess we are now.”
Yeosang grabs the bowls and two pairs of cutlery from the cupboard as Wooyoung’s phone vibrates loudly against the wooden surface of their table. Wooyoung reaches for it while Yeosang joins him for their food and taps on San’s name in his notifications.
From: san 08:24 PM
okay first things first
i hope you didn’t text me out of obligation
it’s totally fine if you don’t want to spend your christmas with me
but just in case you do:
have you ever been to the lantern festival in seoul?
Wooyoung can’t help but smile at that. San’s consideration is sweet and appreciated but also highly unwarranted with the way his sticky note has lifted Wooyoung’s Christmas spirit to new heights. He motions for Yeosang to get started on the food as he types out his replies.
To: san 08:26 PM
i mean you’ve heard me this morning…
believe me when i say i’m excited to spend christmas with you
i’m rly happy that you asked, actually
and i’ve been meaning to go to the festival last year but 🥴
never rly got around to it
This time, San’s answer comes right away.
From: san 08:26
yay, okay!
i’ll pick you up at 4 on christmas eve?
As Wooyoung sends his confirmation, the giddy feeling from earlier at the café settles in his chest.
He thinks back to the multiple photos of San with the same girl on the wall he and Yunho have dedicated to friends and memories in their little living space and wonders what it means that San has offered to pick him up.
He puts his phone away and takes his spoon, turning his attention back on his best friend.
“So,” Yeosang says, mid-bite, before Wooyoung has the chance to speak first. “San’s hot.”
Wooyoung recoils. Screw Yeosang and his perceptiveness when it comes to all things Wooyoung. He has known Yeosang long enough to not be surprised, but he can’t help feeling caught under Yeosang’s scrutinizing stare.
“It’s not like that. You know my dramatic ass. He heard me whine and apparently he’s also staying here over the holidays, so he was nice enough to offer me a way out of my misery.” Wooyoung shrugs, intensely focused on his own bowl of stew, so he doesn’t have to look up at Yeosang and admit that maybe he wouldn’t at all mind if it was like that.
“And yet,” Yeosang says and Wooyoung is able to detect the hint of amusement in his voice even without looking at him, “the last time I’ve seen San and you together, he seemed very fond of your clingy drunk self.”
Wooyoung swallows another spoonful of stew and finally decides it’s time to look up and meet Yeosang’s eyes. After that encounter half a year ago Yeosang had teased Wooyoung relentlessly about the way he had come home draped over San’s side as he was struggling through his self-induced hangover the next day. But then Wooyoung hadn’t really seen San around over summer break and the memory of that night sort of dissolved into nothingness. Wooyoung had been almost convinced Yeosang had forgotten about it until now.
“Stop reading into this,” Wooyoung reprimands, but there is little bite to his words, even less so when he swiftly adds as an afterthought, “I’m not even sure he’s not straight, you know.”
“He slipped you a sticky note in class. While that’s very middle-school-crush of him, it’s also unbearably cute.” Yeosang leans back with a sigh, but his eyes soften when they meet Wooyoung’s. “Fine, I’ll stop. But I’m not only making fun of you, Young-ah. I’m glad that you won’t be on your own and I will no longer be unfairly banished from your cooking.”
❅
Christmas approaches faster than Wooyoung expected. Between pestering Yeosang to delay his packing, struggling through his last exams and steeling his nerves for his Christmas plans with San, Wooyoung almost forgets to buy him a present.
He could have easily found a gift in the time he spent deliberating whether to get something for San in the first place, until he, by a stroke of faith, walks right by a siamese cat plushie that looks exactly like the one from San’s doodle in the window of a tiny gift shop the evening before the 24th. Wooyoung is so smitten by the resemblance – both to the drawing and San’s own cat-like smile – that he doesn’t give himself time to hesitate or chicken out before buying it.
On Sunday, Wooyoung wakes up to a couple of insightful but no less dreadful messages in the group chat.
fab five 🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️
From: yunho 01:12 AM
this is a public service announcement
san’s queer
he’s also a really good guy
do with that info what you want wooyoung
From: yunho 01:15 AM
just don’t let san use the stove
or fuck on our couch ♡
happy holidays everyone!!
From: mangi 01:17 AM
happy holidays!!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡
From: jongho 08:02 AM
that’s the christmas spirit
at least one of us is about to have happy holidays
go get some, wooyoung hyung
With a groan Wooyoung drops back into his pillows and decides that none of these messages warrant a reply. Instead, he turns to his chat with Yeosang.
To: yeosang 08:50 AM
you fucking snitch
From: yeosang 08:51 AM
it could be san who told him
To: yeosang 08:54 AM
then why’d he mention his sexual orientation like that
From: yeosang 08:56 AM
idk man it’s yunho
To: yeosang 08:56 AM
points were made
and yet
you didn't deny any of it
From: yeosang 08:57 AM
tell san a merry christmas from me, too ❤️❤️
Wooyoung questions why he ever bothered to keep his Christmas plans on the downlow when he’s best friends with the nosiest bitch of all, as he leaves said bitch on read.
The problem isn’t necessarily that Yeosang is wrong with all his implications of the last few days. Wooyoung is not blind; he is very well aware of the fact that San is attractive. Or the fact that Wooyoung feels attracted to San. The problem is that Wooyoung has absolutely no idea whether there’s any of the same interest reciprocated on San’s side.
It doesn’t help that there’s a constant stream of new worries nagging at the back of his head when he thinks too long about San and what the evening may hold for him. He thought the cat plushie made for a cute idea for a gift at the time, but as more time passes and the meeting time with San draws closer, he can’t help but grow increasingly nervous. Is it too childish of him to gift San a plushie? Is he being silly, paying this much attention to the detail in San’s mindless class doodles? Wooyoung finds San amiable, really wants to get to know him better, but what if San doesn’t think of him like that at all? What if Wooyoung is completely wrong about San and they turn out to be on entirely different wavelengths?
Wooyoung tries to shake off his worries and not let the doubt that’s been seeping in make itself at home in his thoughts as he begins going about his day. Despite having woken up fairly early for a Sunday, Wooyoung succumbs to his tiktok feed until suddenly it’s noon and he hasn’t had breakfast yet. His thoughts keep drifting off to San as he uses up all the hot water in the shower in celebration of Yeosang’s absence; this time in eager anticipation. He is going to have fun with San, Wooyoung decides as some of the shampoo drips from his hair and makes his eyes burn hot; he’s going to make the best of his Christmas without overthinking every one of his moves.
By the time Wooyoung is freshly showered and peering at himself in the mirror, he’s psyched himself up enough to feel somewhat confident. In a moment of weakness he facetimes Yeosang, bowl of cereal in hand while he leads his best friend through the contents of his dresser and his double-digit options for a cute winter fit. To his credit, Yeosang barely pokes fun at him for putting in so much effort for his alleged non-date as he rules out anything that’s not at least made of cotton wool in this weather.
“Nah,” Yeosang says as Wooyoung holds up one of his favorite cropped pieces, squinting his eyes through the screen of Wooyoung’s phone. “It’s freezing out. I know you wanna look cute, but no crop top can save you through the chattering of teeth.” Wooyoung looks at the shirt with a pout before discarding it on the growing pile of sweaters and cardigans Yeosang has already turned down. He shoves a spoonful of soggy chocoballs in his mouth in order to muffle a frustrated sigh.
“Wear that striped sweater, the black and white one that shows your collarbone,” Yeosang suggests, momentarily disappearing from view as he reaches down for something. “It looks cute on you and it’s warm enough.” Wooyoung perks up at the proposal and almost chokes on a chocoball in his attempt to agree. In the background, Wooyoung can hear Yeosang’s mom call for him, before Wooyoung can pester him about picking a matching pair of pants.
“It’s going to be fine, Young-ah,” Yeosang says as they bid each other goodbye. “San’s cute and you’re going to have loads of fun.” Wooyoung beams at his best friend’s encouragement and mourns the fact that he’s not here to hug him right now.
“Thanks, Sangie. Tell your mom I said hi.” He waves Yeosang goodbye and waits for his best friend to cut the feed before turning his attention back to his dresser.
By the time Wooyoung has coordinated the sweater with a pair of black jeans and silver jewelry, Wooyoung has fifteen minutes left to brace himself. He doesn’t remember the last time he was so nervous to go on a date. Maybe it’s the fact that he doesn’t know whether this even counts as one, or maybe it’s because it’s Christmas, but San has him fidgeting in his spot on the sofa.
San picks him up at exactly 4:02 PM and although he’s only two minutes late, he apologizes to Wooyoung profusely.
“Are you ready to go?” San asks once he rests fully reassured that Wooyoung doesn’t consider his delay a big deal. He looks around their living room with palpable interest while Wooyoung puts on his jacket and slips on his shoes, bundling up with a thick scarf and mittens to face the cold awaiting them outside.
It feels a little odd to see San standing in his apartment, not Yunho’s, in a setting where they’re not awaiting anyone else to join them, but against Wooyoung’s countless concerns San’s presence feels comfortable. When he meets San’s gaze, he’s faced with the familiar curl of lips that makes San’s eyes almost disappear and inexplicably dissolves most of Wooyoung’s nerves.
Wooyoung spends most of the train ride to the lantern festival worrying whether he has put on enough cologne. The subway is swamped with people, the next handle just out of Wooyoung’s reach where he and San are pressed together. He does most of the talking as they move through Seoul, but San doesn’t seem to mind and neither does Wooyoung – he knows he’s quite the chatterbox, but San lets him ramble on about him and Mingi making snow angels in front of the dorms and laughs at his retelling of Mingi almost ending up stuck head first in a deep patch of snow.
When they reach Gwanghwamun station and an onslaught of people tries to squeeze past them, San catches Wooyoung’s hand. They make it out of the station without losing each other and breathe out a relieved laugh upon being met with fresh air and colorful Christmas lights above ground.
“What do you want to do first?” San asks, releasing Wooyoung’s hand as they watch the masses of people blend together and spread out over the square and adjacent streets. The sun is beginning to set, dipping them into crepuscular light aloof the artificial Christmas lighting. “I was thinking we could grab something from the street food vendors at the market for dinner later, but if you want we can check out the festival lights and stalls first.”
Wooyoung takes a moment to think through his options as he wiggles his fingers back into his gloves and motions to a big, neon Christmas tree towering over them by the stream.
“Are you okay to walk around for a bit first? I want to take some pictures for my family.” San agrees with an easy smile and follows Wooyoung along the illuminated path, hands stuffed into his pockets and eyes caught by the light installments adorning the street.
“They’re a little corny,” Wooyoung points out as they walk past the first figurines dipping their path into colorful light. San chuckles.
“A little,” he agrees, “but they’re pretty, too. I like that they’ve stuck to a traditional Korean theme and it’s not so commercialized. I’ve never been to a real Christmas market like this.” Wooyoung snaps a photo of a golden dragon they pass and chuckles at his screen, then turns his head to gaze at San.
“I take it you’re not from a big city?” San shakes his head no, his eyes sparkling when they meet Wooyoung’s.
“I’m from Namhae. We don’t really have big public events like this.”
Wooyoung nods in understanding. “I’m from Ilsan, but I didn’t really start traveling down to Seoul much until I was in high school, so, I get it.”
San lets out a soft laugh. “You know, I would have mistaken you for a big city boy. You’re so…” he seems at a loss for words, searching his mind for what he wants to say, “bright, candid. You make it look so easy to get chummy with everyone; it’s like you’re glowing, whenever I look at you.”
Wooyoung forgets to breathe for a moment. San’s smile is so pretty and cute when he speaks, but he’s quick to look away when their eyes meet and even at dusk Wooyoung catches the bashful color in his cheeks. From this new angle the Christmas lights shine on San’s face and flatter his edges, dipping his cheek into deep orange light. It reminds Wooyoung of walking home with San on a summer night, drunken laughter and tentative touches as Wooyoung grew increasingly more wobbly on his own two legs.
Yeosang was right – San is lovely and Wooyoung doesn’t know why he was so worried about feeling uncomfortable in his presence when it fills him with nothing but pure delight.
The Christmas lights lead them to a part of the market that’s selling Korean arts and crafts. They end up at a stall displaying a wide selection of fairy lights and Christmas decor and Wooyoung’s eyes catch on a globe light of what looks like a christmas version of Seoul’s skyline at night. It’s a deep blue color, speckled with warm lights and Wooyoung finds himself spellbound by the starry sky that’s so unlike the big city.
“This is so pretty,” he mumbles, carefully lifting the delicate item at eye level. He turns the item in his hands, watches the lights move and the gleam shift. After carefully placing the item down in its designated spot again, he finds San’s eyes on him.
“Are you ready to move on?” Wooyoung asks, motioning forward and stepping away from the table with a last smile at the lady behind the display.
Wooyoung doesn’t notice that San isn’t following him over to the next booth that’s selling handcrafted dinnerware until he turns around, mid-sentence into deliberating whether he should buy some for Yeosang and stock up their kitchen, and San isn’t right beside him like he thought. He spins in circles in search of the other man, worried that he’s ultimately lost him in the crowd, when San squeezes past two people ogling the stand with the Christmas lights, tightly holding onto a paper bag. He picks up his steps until he’s standing right in front of Wooyoung and reaches out his arms, so Wooyoung can see what he’s been holding in his hands.
“Merry Christmas, Wooyoung,” San says and reaches into the bag. He removes bits of protective wrapping paper and places the globe light into Wooyoung’s hands.
“It reminded me of tonight. We can’t see the stars all that brightly, but at least we have pretty Christmas lights illuminating the city.”
San’s smile wavers when it takes a little too long for Wooyoung to answer.
“It’s weird, isn’t it–? I’m sorry, here, let me–” San tries to take the light back but Wooyoung stops him by closing his hands around it.
“I got you something as well,” he breathes out a laugh as he fumbles around his bag, grabbing hold of one of the cat plushie’s legs.
“Thank you for buying it for me, San. It reminds me of tonight, too.”
He smiles down at the globe, carefully tucking it back into the wrapping. His other hand pulls out the plushie and reaches for San.
“I know it’s a bit silly, but… I hope you like it,” Wooyoung says and immediately wishes he sounded more confident as he watches San’s eyes drag over the gift.
“Actually,” San says and Wooyoung can see his ears turn pink where they peek out beneath his hair under the beanie, “I’ve been collecting a lot of plushies. They give me comfort.” He fiddles with the cat Wooyoung’s given him, gently playing with the little furry paws, and Wooyoung thinks he can see a small fond smile play around his lips.
“This one really reminds me of Byeol, our cat from home. I love her, Wooyoung, thank you.”
Wooyoung can feel warmth stir in his chest and rise to his cheeks. There’s nothing he can do to stop his smile from growing even wider.
“I’m starting to get a little hungry,” he says as a way to divert San’s attention, who still looks a little embarrassed. “Should we walk back towards the market along the other row of stalls and grab something there?”
The streets are hustling and bustling on their way to Gwangjang Market. They end up getting a variety of dishes to split between them and squeeze around a table that’s almost too small for just the two of them. San’s knees knock into Wooyoung’s as they share hot tteokbokki and fish cake skewers, kimbap and stew. Once they’re both fed, bellies filled with deliciously hot street food, Wooyoung buys them both a cup of mulled wine while San ventures off to find a stall selling hotteok and bungeoppang. They share one of each and warm their fingers around the paper cups.
When they leave the market square, Wooyoung and San are greeted by a flurry of snowflakes. The weather is cold enough that the snow doesn’t melt and settles on the Christmas statues, in the trees surrounding them, in their hair. San’s hand brushes against Wooyoung’s and lingers, but when Wooyoung looks up San is facing forward, nose buried into his cup. Wooyoung curls his fingertips around San’s.
“So,” San says a little nervously and takes another sip of wine, as if to buy some time before talking again. His frosty fingers tighten their hold on Wooyoung’s own.
“I haven’t really planned ahead for after the festival, but it’s kind of freezing and getting even more crowded. If you wanna end the night here and go home, I get that, it’s totally okay. But honestly, I’m probably just going to go home and put on a movie or something and I– I was wondering, maybe you’d like to come hang out at our place for a bit?” San’s eyes dart to Wooyoung and then back into his cup and Wooyoung is all the more endeared by this boy, who’s seemingly just as antsy about hanging out as Wooyoung.
Wooyoung’s mittens and the mulled wine have done a fantastic job at keeping his fingers warm so far, but his toes aren’t so lucky and the wind blows snow straight into his eyes, so he says: “I hope you enjoy suffering through bad Christmas movies.”
❅
“My feet are soaked.” Wooyoung gapes down at his socks, shuffling his shoes between two of Yunho’s giant pairs of sneakers. He tries to move his toes and yelps when it hurts to curl them against the cold linoleum floor.
“I think they got frostbitten,” he informs San, who’s moved past him to tamper with the thermostat that looks much like the one in his own dorm room. Luckily, this one seems a lot less moody, because Wooyoung can hear the heating kick start as San turns around to him.
“I’ll go get us some dry socks, make yourself comfortable.” San doesn’t wait for his answer and vanishes towards his corner of the room, so Wooyoung takes it upon himself to walk to the apartment’s little living space and drop onto the sofa. He’s peeling his feet out of the wet fabric when San appears again, two pairs of woolen socks in hand.
“Which color do you want?” Wooyoung snags the blue pair and scoots over to make space for San to join him. They change their socks in comfortable silence until San wiggles his now fluffy purple toes against Wooyoung’s leg.
“My grandma knitted these,” he says with a little chuckle and reaches for Wooyoung’s hands, squeezing his fingers.
“How are your fingers doing? Can I interest you in a hot drink? I make a mean hot chocolate.” San sounds so eager that Wooyoung can’t quite stop himself from taking the opening.
“Yunho warned me that you’re not allowed in the kitchen,” he teases, but follows San into the kitchenette regardless. San reaches up to grab two cups from the cabinet and turns around with a pout.
“You don’t even need to use the stove to make hot chocolate. I’ll have you know I’m very capable of taking care of myself.” The crease between his eyes deepens as he juts out his lips and Wooyoung feels dizzy at the sight. God– just how much power can a pout hold over him?
“Anyway, Yunho’s one to talk,” San continues as he browses through the fridge and pulls out a milk carton. “I’m not the one serving raw fried eggs to my boyfriend the first time he sleeps over. He’s lucky Mingi likes him so much.”
Wooyoung snorts. He walks over to stand next to San, who’s pouring cocoa powder into the mugs, leaning forward so he can watch him do it and rest some of his weight against the counter.
“How do you both even survive?” he questions, reaching over to poke San’s side. San twitches away with a yelp, so unexpectedly high-pitched that Wooyoung almost squeals in delight, and points his spoon at Wooyoung’s face. “Like any other pair of broke college roommates: on instant ramen, rice and an endless supply of homemade kimchi. Oh, and cafeteria food, of course. ”
Wooyoung laughs and watches San stir the cocoa. He helps him place both mugs in the microwave and watches them turn while they wait in comfortable silence. At one point, his eyes drift away from the hypnotizing whirring of the microwave to an even more mesmerizing sight.
It’s the first time today that Wooyoung sees San out of his winter gear. A dark turtle neck accentuates his chest and shoulders, which Wooyoung has caught himself staring at more often than he’d like to admit when he’s been around San in the past. It stands in contrast to a pair of light wide-fit jeans that swallow up San’s legs and give him a whole boyfriend-look that Wooyoung much appreciates.
“Hey Wooyoung?” San is the one to break the silence when the last seconds of the microwave’s timer count down, tearing Wooyoung from his thoughts.
“Hm?” Wooyoung bumps into San’s side when he turns to face him. San’s expression is soft. Wooyoung thinks he can pinpoint a hint of reluctance in the way he worries his bottom lip between his teeth.
“You don’t have to tell me, but… I was just wondering, how come you’re on your own for Christmas?”
“I’m not, I’m with you.” Wooyoung’s words have the desired effect, because San breaks into a small smile that whisks away the frown. “But if you’re asking why I’m not going home for the winter break– well, remember how I fell sick during midterms? It took me out for a full two weeks and now I’m stuck with a couple of extra tasks I need to catch up on over the break. I can just go home some other time.”
Wooyoung shrugs. Ilsan isn’t far, so he pays his family more or less frequent visits anyway.
“Now that you’ve beared witness to my misery, if you don’t mind me asking, how come you would have been on your own tonight?” Wooyoung asks carefully over the beeping sound of the microwave, head tilted with obvious interest. He doesn’t want to touch a nerve, but San had asked him, too, so he figures it’s fair game. San gently pushes a mug into his hand and reaches for his elbow to lead him back towards the living space, where they once again settle on the sofa, closer together than the piece of furniture requires.
To Wooyoung’s relief, San only looks a little deflated.
“Well,” he says and his gaze travels to the photo wall on the opposite side of the room. He nods towards the girl Wooyoung noticed in his pictures before and leans back. “My sister is studying abroad in the UK, where Christmas is, like, a really big thing, so my parents and grandma flew down to visit her for the holidays. She invited me to come, too, but I had to pick up some extra shifts at work. And anyway, it’s kind of far for a one-week break…,” San trails off.
“You already know that Yunho’s with Mingi. My other friend, Seonghwa, is going home to visit family as well. My best bet would have been to spend Christmas hanging around Hongjoong hyung’s studio, because he doesn’t care for the holidays. I’m relieved that you stepped up, though, because he would have made me stay quiet and stopped me from touching his equipment. It would have been so boring.”
“I see,” Wooyoung answers with an amused chuckle, sipping from his mug. The liquid chocolate spreads over his tongue and envelops him in sweet warmth. San does make a mean hot chocolate.
“It may not be how you expected to spend your winter break, but I’m really happy that you asked me to hang out. I’m in very good company.”
San’s face lights up. He scoots closer to Wooyoung. “I’m really happy that I didn’t chicken out. And that you said yes, of course. I’m… I’m having a really good time, Wooyoung.”
San is sitting so close that the sleeve of his turtleneck brushes against Wooyoung’s arm whenever he lifts his mug to his lips. He can smell the chocolate on San’s breath and more faintly, maybe from San’s shampoo or cologne, it mixes with a scent that reminds Wooyoung of forests in the countryside. Wooyoung catches San’s eyes moving lower for only a second before he rapidly turns away and clears his throat, clearly embarrassed, breaking the spell. “So, uh. What movie did you have in mind?”
Wooyoung didn’t actually have any particular movie in mind, so they settle on some corny new Netflix release from this year, one that’s promising to include just about every cliché Christmas movie trope they can think of from the description alone. San moves from his spot next to Wooyoung only to fetch them a blanket and then sits even closer so they can share. Their thighs are pressed together and their shoulders bump as San tries to shuffle deeper into the blanket.
“Is this okay?” he asks Wooyoung. He looks a little self-conscious, like he’s about to bolt and move to the other end of the couch if Wooyoung so much as says the word, and Wooyoung really doesn’t want that to happen.
“It’s fine, San. I don’t mind at all.”
It’s impossible not to reciprocate the smile when San’s face lights up in an instant.
Wooyoung pokes fun at the movie more than he genuinely watches it. San on the other hand gets more upset with every bad trope they try to squeeze into the narrative.
“What do you mean, she’s engaged to that asshat– oh my god, could they have made him any more self-centered?” San is clearly mortified by a large chunk of the director’s choices. He expresses his grief by burying his head in Wooyoung’s shoulder with a frustrated groan. By the end of the movie San is practically in his lap, curled around his side, and Wooyoung – ever the hugger – doesn’t mind the cozy warmth or sturdy comfort radiating off San one bit, even if it comes a little unexpected.
“I feel like this movie kind of killed my Christmas spirit,” San says dryly as the credits roll and he detangles himself from around Wooyoung. “What a shitty Christmas movie.”
Wooyoung laughs at that, stretching his arms and legs with a groan. “I hope it wasn’t so bad that it nullified the time we spent together today,” he says with a grin and watches San freeze first and avidly shake his head.
“Good,” Wooyoung says, glancing to the side. “I should probably go. You said you have to get up early tomorrow, right?”
San nods quietly, brushing aside the blanket. “Yeah, I’m sorry. But thank you for sticking with me for so long.”
Wooyoung tries to clean up their mugs from the table before he goes, but San shoos him away, promising that it’s okay and he will do the cleaning later. They’re already by the door when Wooyoung turns to face San.
“So, uhm, what are you doing tomorrow?” he asks, trying to mask the hope from his voice. San leans a little distance away against the wall, arms crossed, and shrugs.
“I am probably going to go for a run in the morning and then I have to work the opening shift, but, honestly, I’ve got nothing planned for the rest of the day.”
Wooyoung beams, takes a few seconds to gather his courage and asks, “I have work in the afternoon, but would you like to have Christmas dinner together? You could come to my place and I could make something, you know, to make up for today.”
“You don’t need to make up for anything, Wooyoung-ah,” San smiles in honest delight. “But yes, I’d really like that.”
Wooyoung can feel a weight drop off his chest.
“I can pick up groceries,” San offers as Wooyoung slips into his shoes. They feel wet under his fingers, but can’t win against the toasty warmth in the hand-knit socks of San’s grandmother.
“I work at the supermarket, remember? I’ll just do my own grocery run after I finish my shift tomorrow. Is there anything you don’t like or that your stomach can’t tolerate well?” Wooyoung wears his jacket and digs in his pockets for his scarf and mittens.
“I’m not a fan of veggies,” San scrunches up his nose in distaste and Wooyoung once again catches himself internally cooing over how expressive San’s face is.
San pushes himself off the wall to move closer, a thoughtful look on his face. “Hey, do you want me to walk you to your dorm?”
Wooyoung’s heart melts a little.
“That’s sweet, but it’ll only be ten minutes and you have to get up early. I’ll be fine, San-ah. Thank you for offering though. And for taking me to the festival and then– for everything, really. I had a really nice Christmas eve.” Wooyoung reaches up to tighten his scarf, but San’s hands move faster. He tucks the scarf into Wooyoung’s coat and zips it up all the way, keeping a hold on his collar.
“Okay,” he says. He is so close that his voice has turned quiet, almost into a whisper. “I had a really nice evening too, Wooyoung-ah. Be safe and text me when you’re home, okay?”
Wooyoung nods. His head is spinning with the close proximity and he knows he only has his heart to blame and the way it fast-tracks in his chest.
“Good night, San-ah,” he says. And then he leans up on his toes and kisses San on the nose.
He pulls back to find San staring at him.
Wooyoung whirls around, grabs his bag and waves at San one last time.
“Bye San!”
Then he’s out the door.
Wooyoung barely feels the cold on the short walk to his own dorm building, thoughts preoccupied with San and the incessant hammering of his heart. San had looked surprised in the split second that Wooyoung saw his face after pulling back from it, but then again– so had Wooyoung. It feels more like a knee-jerk reaction, the need to kiss San – sweet, kind, loveable San – to thank him for a lovely evening and pleasant company. He’s not sure what this means for them, if anything’s shifted in their dynamic, but his lips still tingle from the warmth of San’s skin, which makes it difficult for Wooyoung to regret it.
He comes home to find two messages from San in his phone and when he opens them, the worry that’s clasped around his heart alleviates.
From: san 00:32 AM
how dare you run off like that
without letting me return the favor ㅠㅠ
Wooyoung’s brain short-circuits.
To: san 00:41 AM
lucky for you you won’t have to wait long to see me again
i’m home btw
thank you for today, san, i mean it
Wooyoung kicks his shoes aside carelessly, tosses his phone on his bed and disappears into the bathroom. He washes his face and changes out of his clothes, neatly folding the socks he borrowed from San. He brushes his teeth and snuggles up in his blanket before a sharp pain against his rib reminds him that his phone is somewhere tangled in the sheets. He twists his body painfully until he can reach and unlock his phone, swiping open the most recent notification.
From: san 00:43 AM
good^^
ok i gotta sleep, but i’ll see you tomorrow?
chef jung sounds promising
sweet dreams, wooyoungie
Wooyoung is once again relieved that Yeosang isn’t currently staying at their room, when San’s messages have him giggling to himself in the middle of the night.
He falls asleep not long after with a familiar warmth prickling in his chest. He knows exactly what this is– this feeling. But now, it doesn’t make him feel as anxious anymore. Liking San– it’s a done deal, serendipity promising something wonderful that is so close, Wooyoung can almost touch it.
Tomorrow night can’t come soon enough.