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‘Finally, you’re here.’
Cyno’s sombre voice travels all over his room, their space, and Alhaitham deepens his gaze on him immediately. He holds tight onto the hand that’s cupping his cheeks, not letting go of the allure that never fails to stir something in Cyno. What does he look like right now in those turquoise eyes? Because he must have sounded desperate enough for Alhaitham to lay him down on the mattress so quickly.
‘I’m here now, and I won’t be gone ever again.’ Alhaitham says as if it’s the most logical thing in the world. Once he leans in and savours the taste of Cyno’s lips, the exhaustion and loneliness disappear in no time. His arms are now trying their best to hold onto the weight of this body to handle the passion of the kiss.
They often greet each other like this late in the night when one of them almost drifts off to sleep, but Cyno knows he will be gone tomorrow. Alhaitham is not one for flattery, yet he never spells out the truth in moments like this. Deep and rough kisses are often enough to make him temporarily forget the absences Alhaitham left just moments before, even if it takes weeks for them to lead to this.
Alhaitham has been gone many, many times. Knowing this, Cyno has offered to let him join some of his missions if he wishes to see the roads less taken in Sumeru, but despite having his fair share of ventures for knowledge, Alhaitham had never answered his invites, even just for a few hours. And in the few times when Cyno was in the city, they seemed to only have enough time to update each other on the times they were apart and give each other the warmth they missed, always so intense like overdue compensations.
Predictability is nice, of course; it was why Cyno was drawn to him after all, but it’s also second nature to yearn for what you want to be close to you. Cyno wants Alhaitham all the time, when they drag each other into his quarter, in his dreams in the desert, in every waking hour between his idle footsteps. But life in turbulence is his calling; the path of justice is anything but easy, and he knew it from the very start.
Opposite attracts - that’s probably the best way to describe what they are. And maybe that could also be why, like any other time, Alhaitham will be gone from him again tomorrow.
‘You seem to be deep in thought tonight.’ Alhaitham breaks the kiss and gazes into Cyno’s eyes once more. ‘With how your guard is up all the time due to your job, seeing it written all over your face is always a rare sight for me.’
‘You don’t seem to comment on it for other times.’ Cyno bites back. He must have felt so strongly about this if it was obvious enough for Alhaitham to notice.
‘I usually don’t like to delve into other people’s problems if I can help it,’ He lies next to Cyno, cupping his face close to his lover’s neck. ‘But I also learned that a problem that bothers you this much is a matter worth discussing.’
Cyno isn’t sure if he agrees with the assessment, but his body stops chasing for momentary heat and instead relaxes against Alhaitham’s loose arms around his waist. Silence settles in, a moment given to him to trace the root of his desolation.
After the fall of Azar and the scholars’ ambitions, they have been occupied with the restoration of the administrative bodies throughout Sumeru. Alhaitham becoming the Acting Grand Sage was the biggest change among all of this. For once it wasn’t just Alhaitham doing the waiting, and frankly, it didn’t occur to Cyno how dreadful it could get sometimes, being the one having to wait this time.
‘You’re surprisingly devoted to your new position, given how you’d rather not do more than what you’re asked for.’ Cyno tries to piece his thoughts together. ‘I know in your hands, Sumeru will soon be free from its shackles, and the efforts in my work will be upheld. It’s infuriating sometimes to think about how capable people like you exist, and yet they won’t always be there to extend their helping hand to the rest of society. It’s quite unfair, Acting Grand Sage.’
Cyno understands why Alhaitham makes that choice, but the life goal he decides to pursue is destined with re-evaluations and constant questioning. Realizing how it could be taken as a slight, Cyno turns over to Alhaitham to correct himself, but he only strengthens the embrace, closing their proximity.
‘I know. Your devotion to what you do astounds me sometimes, General Mahamatra, to the point of carelessness,’ Alhaitham chuckles. ‘It’s something I still haven’t understood, but after what happened, doing my job right will ensure that Sumeru’s peace will not be challenged for a long time.’
‘And nowhere in this world will be at peace when injustice is still at large, which is why my utmost effort is required. Life is tough enough as it is, and if what I do can simplify it, I am willing to.’ Cyno holds onto the arms around him. ‘Our intentions are inherently different and yet… I'm just surprised that we still arrive at the same solutions.’
‘And don’t you think that’s by design?’ Alhaitham affirms. ‘This world is multifaceted, and the more perspectives we receive, the better we are informed. I find that our debates always end up with enrichment and progress.’
Throughout the rebuilding process of Sumeru, Alhaitham and Cyno have butted heads plenty of times, sometimes right in front of Lesser Lord Kusanali. Cyno was worried if such occurrences were appropriate given how important their task was, but the Lesser Lord often paid no comments, if not already found amusement in them as she observed them from the side.
Cyno sometimes wonders if possessing wisdom as great as hers will ease his mind off the never-ending questions that always seem to do the rounds.
‘I understand, and yet my mind still doesn’t feel at ease,’ He clenches tighter to Ahaitham’s arms as if doing that would help him untangle all these thoughts. Despite the hurdles, the results of their effort have been promising and the Lesser Lord is more than pleased. Alhaitham may have a greater workload than him at this moment but it will change with time, and it’s not like they are not used to the lack of time together due to the inherently irregular schedule that Cyno will always have.
But these past weeks, when Cyno managed to wrap up the key changes in the matra department and earned himself some well-deserved vacation, his body had found some much-needed relaxation but his mind stirred up a storm. He had a good time experiencing the Windblume Festival with Tignari and Collei, but his heart beat more to the thought of spending it with Alhaitham one day.
And when would that be? Next year? Three years from now? Or never? Soon, the thought stopped the excitement in his chest.
Alhaitham lives by the freedom to do whatever he likes, and waiting for Alhaitham to come home has been torture even for someone who can leave his quarter unattended for weeks like Cyno.
Does Alhaitham like having this life, where he is destined to wait, forever and ever?
‘My vacation has been great. I've been able to take Collei to where she’s longed to visit, forge new friendships, get a shiny upgrade on my deck and play with players all over at the Cat’s Tail. I get to do what I like for most of the days.’ Cyno leans back to Alhaitham’s chest, trying to find courage in his warmth. ‘But what I didn’t like most was the times when I didn’t have to rush to sleep for the sake of work, and I thought about how I hadn’t heard your snarky voice the whole day, then a whole week.’
‘You can just say that you missed me.’
‘That’s not the sole reason here.’ Cyno insists, even if Alhaitham isn’t wrong. ‘It’s just those days had me wondering if that’s what your every day looks like. It must be day and night between the pleasant life you crafted and the absence I leave you to deal with,’ he curls up. ‘My stomach twitched so much it got uncomfortable after a few days. But are yours, too? Waiting for me, who will inevitably not be there on some of your favourite moments?’
Cyno gives back the silence, his heartbeat quickening in the middle of it. In just a few minutes, Alhaitham unravels a corner of his mind and he’s almost scared of how easily he let his guard down for it.
After a while, Alhaitham takes a deep breath.
‘I miss you, Cyno. I always do. but my stomach doesn’t twitch. Maybe at the thought of you possibly being in serious danger, but I trust that you’re capable enough to make it back.’ Alhaitham’s fingers run through his dishevelled hair. ‘And so that is why I will stay here waiting. To be a place that you want to come back to.’
Cyno turns back his head. His feelings must be written all over his expression again. Alhaitham’s smile was already there, anticipating Cyno’s eyes to meet his once more.
Another wave of thoughts runs through Cyno’s head, but the one that stays with him is how he wouldn’t want to have it any other way.
‘I see.’
Unable to put his feelings into any more words than that, Cyno rushes in for a kiss instead.
‘Don’t get me wrong, the time I spend waiting is not in vain. I get more time to myself for reading and thinking, maybe developing a thesis if some of them grow into interesting directions.’ Alhaitham smugs.
‘Then you must like having no more disturbance so you could even have more time for that.’ Cyno bickers.
‘Says the person hustles to complete any case, even if it’s not urgent enough to warrant an overtime.’
Cyno sighs, but his lips curl into a smile in no time.
‘We are so different, and yet… We’re here, together.’
They find each other’s lips again, savouring the short night they are given and weaving it into something only they could take.
When Alhaitham is gone tomorrow, perhaps Cyno will think about what he had missed doing when he was swamped with duties. And his stomach would twitch from excitement, waiting to tell Alhaitham all about it later.