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The muffled sound of shuffling and sliding of objects just outside El’s door almost made her jump out of her skin. It’s just Hopper, she reminded herself as her breath caught in her chest. It had only been a few weeks with the man, and after an entire month alone in the woods his presence still occasionally caught El off guard. Without moving the blanket, which was wrapped snuggly around her in an effort to keep out the chill, she peered wide-eyed at the far end of the bedroom where the noises continued their interruption of her morning. She listened, wondering if she should pretend to be asleep, or perhaps help the man with whatever he was doing. Another loud crash followed by a long string of curses caused her to flinch again, the blanket slipping from her fingers and falling off to the side. Could he possibly be in trouble, were there more men out there other than him? Have they found us already? She slid out of bed, blanket tumbling to the floor as she focused her attention on the door. Just then the noises subsided, and the long drawn out pause that followed only made her heartbeats sound louder. Pressure built in her mind as she steadied herself, convinced a confrontation was eminent, when…
Silver bells, silver bells!
It’s Christmas time in the city
Crinkly music began to fill the silence of the cabin, and Hopper resumed whatever commotion he’d been working on earlier. She relaxed a little, letting the energy she’d charged dissipate, her fingertips and toes tingling still with the leftover adrenalin. Confusion took over, as well as curiosity, as she listened to the song which now flowed cheerfully into her room. Amused, she picked up her blanket and walked over to the door, listening to the words all the while.
Ring-a-ling, Ring-a-ling
Hear them ring, ting-a-ling
Soon it will be Christmas day!
Carefully, she pulled at the door which was partially open at her request, and stole a quick glance at the rest of the cabin just beyond the threshold. In their living room now sat what appeared to be a tree, and several old looking boxes. The fragrant, almost intoxicating scent of the tree mingled with the mildew of the packages and El almost shut the door at the sudden flooding of her senses. Just on the other side of the couch was Hopper, bent over and tugging at something that made the tree violently shake until it toppled over, bringing with it one of the stacked boxes. The girl stifled a laugh as he rolled out from underneath it all, profanity following him as he stood all the way up. The bright song continued to play in the background, and El found herself moving closer to hear it better.
“Oh, El!” He started at the sight of her, sleepy eyed and still wrapped in a blanket. All signs of frustration at the fallen tree melted away as she stepped closer into the room. “Sorry to wake you, kid. Uh, merry Christmas!” He said, and gestured vaguely at the fallen tree. El returned his smile shyly but did not respond, so he continued. “I thought we could use a little, I don’t know, some holiday cheer around here. Do you know what today is?” He added at her puzzled look.
El turned to look at the calendar he’d brought home on their second day together. She had learned then how to tell what day it was, and the time of year. Now it hung precariously on a nail, the final page of the year dangling below, flimsy compared to the weight of the previous months. A picture of a snowman smiling blankly ahead with a pipe stuck into his cheek was the image on the top portion, and El pinned her finger down on the lower part, running it along the numbers just like Hopper had shown her. Her finger stopped on the date with 24 in the corner.
“It is… Saturday?” She said, looking up at him with her finger still pinned to the calendar.
“Thats right,” he said with a chuckle. “Its December 24th. Otherwise known as Christmas Eve.” She stared at him inquisitively, awaiting more explanation. Hopper cleared his throat and continued. “Christmas, it’s a holiday, where we, we celebrate…” he fumbled with his words, absently scratching at his beard as he thought. “Well, we celebrate each other, mostly. Its a day where we give each other presents, and spend time with the people we love, all the mushy stuff. Mostly an excuse to eat lots of food and be lazy at work, but its a lot of fun, too,” he turned to the boxes and began sorting through them, smiling as he pulled out various items. “It takes place on December 25th each year, and today, the 24th, is known as Christmas Eve.”
“Eve?” El asked, timidly walking up to one of the boxes. It was filled with old lines of lights, similar to the ones she’d seen hanging up at the Byers’ house.
“Eve, it means, ‘before’ because today is the day before Christmas. Right?” He pulled something small but noisy out of the box he was perusing. Holding the thing up to his ear, he moved it back and forth, making a light ringing sound. He passed it to El.
“Right,” she echoed. She rotated the object in her fingers for a moment. It was a red ribbon with a single silver ball attached to the end. El figured something must be inside it, because it rang every time she moved it. Slowly, she brought it up to her ear and shook it as he had done. The sound rang clearer now and she couldn’t help but smile at its high pitched note.
“That’s called a ‘jingle bell’ because it, well, it jingles,” Hopper explained. “Actually, it’s technically an ornament. It’ll go on the tree once I get it up.” He looked over at the fallen thing beside the couch.
“Why…” she began, still getting used to finding and choosing her own words. “A tree? And… jingle bells?” She added, carefully enunciating each syllable.
Hopper laughed a little, bending over to take a look at the tree stand again. “Well, they just go with the holiday. You pick a tree out, you decorate it, you sing songs and make cookies and all that,” he yanked his fingers away as something from the stand smacked him, gingerly placing his lips to one of the nails. “I’m sure some evangelicals could tell you the real meaning behind it all, but we can explore that a little bit later.”
El didn’t bother asking the meaning of evangelical. She’d never be able to pronounce it even if she wanted to. Instead she focused her energy on the trunk of the tree, guiding it upright until it stood tall and perfectly still in the corner of the cabin.
“Ahhh,” Hopper teased, his eyebrows rising playfully. “You’re in the holiday spirit already. Perfect, now hold that there while i tie it down!”
———
The two of them spent the rest of the morning adorning the tree with Hopper’s old family decorations. El’s powers turned out to be very useful when it came to arranging and fixing the lights, and they she even got to place the star atop the tree without so much as a nosebleed. It was nice, she reflected, being able to use her gifts in this way. Though Hopper frequently reminded her that she should learn to live without them, as she’d need to conceal them to stay safe outside the cabin, it was a pleasant thought that they could be a tool of joy and not just violence. And even he couldn’t deny their usefulness when setting up the tree. As they worked, Hopper told her stories of his childhood Christmases, each memory bringing a wider and brighter smile to his face as he talked. El couldn’t help but laugh at his silly, joyful mood. She still was unsure of what Christmas was, but if it made someone like Hopper this happy, then it must be truly wonderful. She fancied she liked it even more after they’d finished hanging up the old stockings and Hopper turned to the kitchen to make breakfast.
“Almost forgot,” he said, a dumb grin still stuck on his face. He pulled a festive box of Eggos out of the ice box. “Special Christmas edition, with chocolate chips!”
El stepped over the examine the box, her stomach growling. “Are chocolate chips good in waffles?” He had taught her the word waffles on her third day with him, when he educated her on what Eggos actually were, and tried to make them from scratch. They were not very good.
“Yes. I am sure you’ll love them. And if not, I’ll get the kind you like. Sound good?” He asked, taking the box back and opening it up.
“Good.” She replied, matching his giddy mood.
Chocolate chips did turn out to go well in waffles. Delicious, even. El finished two plates worth and was cut off in order to save some for the next day. After breakfast, Hopper had to leave for work. Even though it was a weekend, and a holiday, there were still duties that even he couldn’t get out of. He left El with a space heater for the cold and a sandwich for lunch, promising a real fire and full meal for dinner when he returned. El sighed inwardly watching him get ready. Although it had only been a couple weeks, she was already finding herself dreading the times Hopper left for work. In many ways he was still a stranger to her, but while she had not yet grown accustomed to his presence, she still preferred his company to being alone. She watched him go, the sound of the door sliding shut, making her shiver a little. She would be by herself until he returned, a thought that made her heart ache despite the fact that it would only be a short time. She’d certainly had no shortage of loneliness in her life, and while the cabin was a thousand times better than the lab, at the end of the day it was still a cage, one that she was confined to indefinitely.
She shook her head, clearing away the dark thoughts and moving to look once more at their Christmas tree. El knew she shouldn’t dwell on sad thoughts, not when such a hopeful future was near. Hopper had promised her he’d find a way to give her a normal life, and she believed him. Approaching the tree, she took each ornament in her hand, studying them closely with bemused fascination. Papa would certainly never have done something like this for her, no matter how many tests she passed or men she successfully spied on. Indeed, Papa had never taught her the word Christmas or ever given her a day to celebrate pure joy. And the warm cabin, stocked with food and a bed served as a remarkable replacement to the frozen den she had used for shelter in the woods. El sat on the couch and admired the old peculiar stockings hanging in front of her, and glanced around at all the other odd decorations Hopper had put in place. This isn’t so bad, she conceded. And above all, as he had reminded her when she was reluctant at first to stay here, it was safe. And after a month spent staving off the cold and hunger in the woods, El knew she could use some security.
Curling her legs closer to her as she snuggled in deeper into the couch, El’s mind drifted, as it often did, to Mike. The boy had taken up permanent residence in her thoughts, a constant comfort or hindrance, depending on her mood. It was her favorite pastime, especially when she was alone and freezing in her den. Even though it often lead to her own misery at being separated from him, she couldn’t help herself. Was there a word for what she felt for him, or a name, or a phrase possibly? El thought it might make her feel better to know. Less crazy. She would never ask Hopper, though, and Mike had been unable to elaborate on it himself on their last night, kissing her instead. She thought about that often as well. A dizzying, giddy sort of feeling always arose within her every time the memory came to her mind - she smiled even as she thought of it now.
She missed him. More than anything else, she wished to reunite with him. El had even asked Hopper about it when she got brave enough. He had been surprisingly gentle and understanding, looking at the girl with nothing but pity when he explained it was too dangerous for the two of them. For Mike’s safety, as well as hers, she had to stay hidden. El hated hearing those words, though deep down, she’d already understood them. It was why she had not gone to Mike or any of the others during her exile in the first place. But she had still secretly hoped Hopper could think of something clever. Hearing him say otherwise had reopened the wound entirely, and El thought about Mike twice as much now that she was safe in her cabin. She of course missed all her friends, their silly jokes and the warm, compassionate way they’d treated her. But Mike she knew missed her most of all. She would never forget her first night in the woods when she first heard him calling out to her, his emotions seemingly so powerful they reached her, without any radio or bath to aid him. Closing her eyes, El recalled the memory from her place on the couch.
“El…Eleven… Can you hear me? I know you can. I…hope you’re listening. I want you to know that I’m here, and.. I know you’re out there somewhere, but I- I won’t tell them. I won’t tell anyone. But i-if you’re not safe, if you’re hurt or something, please, I want to help you I…”
El’s eyes fluttered. Surely, she thought, she should've run out of tears by now, but they kept coming. Her heart broke anew with every passing moment, but she clutched her hands close to her chest as she listened intently to Mike. His voice, husky and saturated from the hours spent screaming that night, had given way to soft sobs that reverberated inside her mind. Through intuition alone, she knew he had taken his finger off the switch of his super-com in an attempt to mask his crying from her in case she was there on the other end. El heard them anyway, almost as loud as her own.
“I’ll be here, waiting,” he declared suddenly, regaining some of his composure. “As long as it takes. And whenever you’re ready, just give me a sign. I’ll be there. I promise. Over and out.”
That was night one, and the boy had kept his promise ever since. He called to her every night, she knew, but only sometimes in her dreams could she actually hear him, pleading with her to come home, telling her he missed her. She wondered if he was thinking of her now, as she was of him. Was he warm and safe? Was he having a good Christmas? Did his family have a tree and stockings like Hopper, and did those things make him happy, or was he alone in the basement waiting for her? The thought deflated El. She hoped not. She wanted nothing but joy for him, especially on this day and the next, which apparently was supposed to be filled it. The girl steadied herself, stretching out her legs and getting up to do some exercises that Hop had showed her. Mike will be fine, she told herself stubbornly. If Christmas was enough to cheer even Hop up, then it would be good enough for him, and therefore good enough for her.
———
Hopper arrived home with fresh snowflakes dotting his hat and his arms filled with colorfully wrapped packages and bags. There was an illuminating smile on his face as he showed them to her, delicately stuffing each underneath the tree, snow still melting on a few of them.
“Santa came a little early! Guess he’s a pretty busy guy, got lots of places to go tonight,” Hopper rambled as he organized the boxes. El kneeled down to get a closer look at the peculiar things. “Figured we’d help him out, he didn’t want to give away your hiding place anyway.”
El stared at him curiously. “Who?”
Hopper laughed. “Santa Claus! Didn’t I tell you about him? He’s the man of the hour. He brings gifts to all the good girls and boys tonight so they can open them on Christmas day.”
“…Gifts?” El echoed, a little embarrassed by her lack of vocabulary. She looked down at the boxes and assumed that’s what they were. But surely children didn’t want decorative looking boxes with bows on them. Or did they?
“Gifts. G-I-F-T-S,” Hopper spelled patiently. “Presents. Fun things people get on holidays, or their birthday,” he gestured toward the boxes. “Like these. I bet you’re going to love what’s inside, or, er, I hope you will at least.”
Oh. It clicked for El and she suddenly reddened. Of course there were things inside the boxes. A huge smile split across her face as she grabbed the nearest one, ready to tear into it. More things she could never have dreamed of getting from Papa.
“Hold it!” Hopper commanded, reaching for the present. “You have to wait until tomorrow.”
“Why tomorrow?” She asked reproachfully.
“Those are the rules, kid. It’s Christmas Eve, so you maybe after dinner you can open one. But the rest have to wait until tomorrow.”
El conceded, only because the promise of opening a gift after dinner was too tempting to miss. She released the box back to its place under the tree and joined Hopper at the dinner table. As promised, he’d brought home a real meal. Honey baked ham, creamy mashed potatoes and gravy, savory green bean casserole that El loved despite her initial disgust at how it looked, pink fruit salad, and warm fluffy rolls with butter. She had never in her life seen so much food at once and almost felt overwhelmed that it could all be just for them. Hopper seemed delighted for a while just watching her eat and explaining what each dish was, and how it was made. Every now and then she would glance up and catch him eyeing her affectionately, and she’d smile back warmly. For desert he bought chocolate cake and ice cream, and she nearly swooned at the taste. The last time she’d had ice cream was with Mike in his basement - the boy had snuck downstairs one night so they could share a bowl. Each bite of it now brought back sweet, glowing memories of his own amused smile at her as she ate. She suddenly swallowed a laugh at the thought. Do I look silly when I eat? But Mike hadn’t mocked her then, and Hopper wasn’t now, too enthralled with his own desert to notice her pause.
“Hop?” She said eventually, scraping her bowl for the last bits of cake. He grunted in reply. “Who…is Santa?”
“I told you, he-” Hop began.
“I know,” she interrupted, needing a better answer. His tone of voice and vague explanation earlier had left her more suspicious than informed. “Who is he?”
He shifted in his seat. “He’s a legend, of sorts. The story goes that he keeps, uh, a list of all the children of the world, and keeps track on if they’re good or bad. And at the end of the year, on Christmas, he brings all the good kids presents.” Even as he talked he looked guilty.
“He… all the kids?” El said skeptically. “How does he know who they are?”
“Well…” he ran a hand across the back of his neck. “He just does.”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “Hopper.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you lie?”
He pursed his lips together in an effort to not laugh. Finally, he let out a sigh and stood up from the table. “Yeah… you got me kid. I’m lying. Only a little,” he added defensively. “It’s true that he’s a legend. Parents all around the world tell it to their kids as a fun thing to keep up the magic of the holidays. But… Santa isn’t real.”
“You said he gave you presents. Who gave them to you, if he’s not real?” El handed her bowl to his outstretch hand, pushing her chair out from the table to stand up as well.
“They’re from me! I.. I got you the gifts.” He admitted.
“Oh,” she replied, and grinned at him when he had his back turned to her.
She preferred it this way, she decided as she sat back down at the couch and glanced at the wrapped gifts. It felt more meaningful coming from Hop rather than a stranger. Still, the thought of Santa unsettled her. Why do parents make up a lie to tell their own children, and when do they decide it’s time to tell the truth? Does Mike know he isn’t real? She made up her mind to ask him next year, assuming they would be together. Maybe he could be more straight forward with her, too. Hopper strolled over to where she was and tended to the fire he’d started before sitting down next to her.
“Alright,” he sighed, a gleam in his eye. “As promised. You can select one present under the tree to open. One.”
She beamed at him, then slowly moved to select her first ever gift. Carefully, she picked up a large but surprisingly light box that sat the farthest away from the tree. She lifted it up to her ear and shook it, listening intently to the contents inside. Finally, she brought it back to her spot on the couch, and placed it squarely in her lap. For a moment she just stared at it. The red and green paper with little white markings on it was wrapped loosely and somewhat haphazardly around the box, but she was still hesitant on pulling it all off, especially since the big red bow placed on top looked so lovely to her. She started by delicately plucking it from its place, careful not to tear it. She set it off to the side for safe keeping.
“Well, go on, you don’t have to be gentle about it,” Hopper chuckled.
And with that encouragement she tore into the paper, eagerly yanking the flimsy wrapping off the old cardboard box. When it was all off she tossed it over her shoulder, fingers working quickly to pull at the top of the package. Once open, she reached inside, hands finding something soft and velvety. She pulled the thing all the way out, revealing a small golden brown teddy bear with a yellow ribbon tied around its neck. El held it close to her face, taking a moment to feel its sweet softness against her cheek. She beamed.
“Well, how do you like it?” He asked eagerly, unable to mask his own joy at seeing her open the gift.
“Yes.” Was all she said, looking up at him fondly. He laughed, and she snuggled the bear for a moment more before glancing back up at him. “I… don’t have.. any for you?” She searched for the right words, the last one spoken like a question, though she didn’t mean it as one.
“That’s ok, El.” He said sincerely, then leaned back in an exaggerated slump. “I’m an old man who doesn’t need any gifts. Just hope these can brighten you up a little.”
“Thank you.” And she leaned over to give him a quick hug, before grabbing her bear again.
“You’re welcome, kid.”
Afterwards El helped clean up their dishes and her discarded wrapping paper before settling down for good on the couch next to Hopper, who’d finally gotten the television to work. She got comfortable on the couch with her new bear and watched as he flipped through the staticky channels, some a foggy grayscale and others in faded color. He finally settled on one, though there was no color, it was a bit clearer than the others. The scene depicted was a group of boys sledding on shovels down a snowy hill, laughing and cheering one another on. Hop made a satisfied noise as he turned the volume up, telling her this was a great one, and that they were lucky to catch it just as it was starting. It’s a Wonderful Life, he’d called it. They both initially watched the movie intently, El especially interested in the love story that developed between the main character, George, and the girl Mary. But as the night progressed, and the plot of the movie got more complicated, she grew tired, and so did Hop. He eventually fell asleep, El following suit once she lost him as an interpreter for the confusing parts of the show, but she woke up just as it was ending.
“Look, daddy! Teacher says, ‘every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.’”
“That’s right… thats right! ‘Atta boy, Clearance.”
El yawned and sat up to run her eyes. On the screen, people were cheering and singing, and it made her glad to know that it at least ended happy.
———
Surprised by her own jittery excitement, El woke up extra early the next morning. Hopper had caught her attempting to open more gifts while it was still dark out, and had sent her back to her room with a chuckle and a promise that she could open them once he made himself some coffee. Then, the morning flew by in a blur of torn wrapping paper, tossed bows and empty boxes flung to the side, to be recovered later. El had clearly gotten the hang of the art of opening gifts by the time she reached her last few, but she was glad she had at least saved the bow from her very first gift the night before. It sat in an empty box now next to her bed, and she planned to fill it as time went by with more sentimental artifacts of hers.
It had truly been a glorious start to the day, so much so that she found herself concentrating over breakfast trying to instill how it felt to open each gift deep into her memory. Hop had been as generous as he could, without drumming up suspicion by buying too many things at the store. He admitted in the past he had been what he called a grinch around Christmas, whatever that meant, but that this year had been his best in a very long time. It had certainly been a good day for El. Hop gave her new clothes, a book he said he could read to her, an extra blanket, a board game called Monopoly he promised to teach her, and a large heavy book called a Dictionary he said she could use to learn new words. This El was excited for most of all, and hoped to use that and the other book, Anne of Green Gables to help improve her reading and verbal skills. With Hopper’s help, by the time she was reunited with her friends she’d be able to speak clearly to how she felt about them, what their sacrifices meant to her. That was indeed a gift to be cherished.
After they had finished off the remainder of the chocolate chip Eggos, Hopper brought out the board game to show El how to play. He’d said this game would be the first of many, because they’d need other things to entertain themselves other than television. At first she was excited about Monopoly and took great satisfaction in beating Hop whenever she could. El was extremely competitive, though she didn’t see it that way - she simply liked winning, is all. However after a while her enthusiasm faded as the game continued with no end in sight, and she found herself yawning just after lunch time.
“Bored?” Hopper teased. “Or nervous I’m gonna catch up to you?”
“Bored.” She replied defiantly.
He sighed, then raised his hands in defeat. “Alright fine, I surrender. You win by default.” When she nodded half heartedly he continued. “What’s up, got something on your mind? Something else you’d like to do today?”
She looked up, her heart beating expectantly. There was definitely something she’d like to do, but she could guess the answer. “Could we go… outside?”
“Well, sure. Wanna play in the snow?” He glanced out the window where a fresh layer had fallen since dawn. “It looks like we might even have enough for a snowman! What’ya say to that? We can build it together.”
El smiled and nodded, swallowing the tiniest grain of disappointment that bubbled up inside despite herself. She’d harbored the hope he would offer to take her to see her friends in secret. A stupid thought, she reflected, and she felt selfish for even thinking it. And as for the snow…She found she’d had enough of it to last a lifetime after sleeping in it for several days with no blanket. But, perhaps Hop could teach her the fun there was to be had in it. After all, it had been magical the first time she saw it falling all around her one night in the woods. Nothing like the horrible ghostly stuff that choked the atmosphere of the Upside Down, the snow was like ice cold glitter that coated every surface in a silvery white sheet. Maybe now she could actually enjoy it.
They both ate a rushed lunch of leftovers and dressed in a hurry so as to not miss the large flakes that still floated from the sky. Once outside the cabin, El took several moments just breathing in the clear air. The snow had a way of cleansing the outdoors, so that it felt new and refreshed. It was a welcome contrast to the air of the cabin which had grown stale already despite its draftiness. Hopper seemed to do the same, and mumbled something about how quiet the world seemed when it snowed. For a moment she caught him lost in his thoughts, tied up in an old memory perhaps. Whatever it was, it clouded his gaze and El thought he looked stricken, like he’d remembered something, a memory that up until this moment he’d forgotten. She watched him glance down and caress the blue wristband that always sat snugly on his wrist with a mingled expression of both fondness and melancholy. She was moved by it, and opened her mouth to ask him what was on his mind when he turned back to her, a large smile back on his face.
“Ready? Let’s see if this snow really sticks.”
They spent a little over an hour attempting to roll mounds of snow into an acceptable shape, but to both their dismay the snow would not stay, continuously crumbling into wet piles. El even tried using her powers to make it stand up, but to no end. Eventually, they gave up and went inside, El kindling a newfound love for the warmth of their fire and hot bath Hopper drew up for her. To her, the best part about snow remained being free of it and warming up afterwards. The remainder of the holiday was spent being luxuriously lazy, with El curled up on the couch and Hop in his recliner, watching several Christmas themed programs. Hopper’s presence beside her had become comforting already, and for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, El was able to fully let go and enjoy this new unconditional freedom. By the time evening fell and she was full of her second helping of dinner and ice cream, the girl found herself pleasantly tired from a day well spent. Beside her, Hopper had fallen asleep and was snoring every so often, leaving her to finish watching their last movie alone.
While Hopper had not been a fan, El preferred this one to the film the night before. Meet Me In St. Louis was its name, and it was a wondrous musical about a large family who wore beautiful, intricate dresses and danced elaborate musical numbers together. El was drawn in immediately by its elegance, and fascinated by the love the sisters had for one another. Their silliness and bickering, while girlish and exaggerated, bore a small resemblance to that of her friends’ relationships. As the film went on and the family struggled with fears of being pulled away from their home, she felt her heart twinge at the thought of being separated from the rest of her own found family. She glanced over at the man asleep in the chair next her, and wondered if he had felt the same earlier, when they were playing in the snow and he had looked so crestfallen. Who had he missed, then?
On the screen before her, there was a sudden swell of music that interrupted El’s thoughts. She turned to listen.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
Next year all our troubles will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
Next year all our troubles will be miles away
The little girl on the screen, one of El’s favorites of the show, began to cry, and El, moved by the lyrics herself, couldn’t peel her eyes away from her. The song continued.
Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
A single tear slid down El’s cheek, and she touched it, pulling her hand away in surprise. Her heart thrummed violently in her chest just as the final verse of the song rang out.
Someday soon we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now
Just then El watched as the little girl rushed outside to destroy her snow-people she and her family had built. El sat frozen to her spot, bewildered by the emotions that had suddenly bubbled up inside her. Tears continually streamed from her eyes as the scene unfolded, but she was no longer paying much attention to the plot of the movie, her heart desperately and strangely craving Mike and her friends more than it had in the past few weeks.
“But the main thing is, Tootie, that we're all going to be together, just like we've always been. That's what really counts,” cried the older girl. “We could be happy anywhere as long as we're together.”
El shuddered and slid to the floor, crawling toward the TV to turn it off. Tiny, silent sobs escaped her as she wept, bittersweet thoughts spinning in circles inside her mind. It was too much; the gifts, the meals, the games and the snow. El’s gratitude for Hopper’s generosity, her surprise for their newfound bond, mingled with her misery at the thought of being indefinitely separated from Mike and the rest of the world. It was suddenly too heavy to hold, and she sat in front of the screen, still warm from use, and cried for several long minutes. Outside, the wind rattled the old windows of the cabin and flecks of snow softly pelted the glass, and the dying fire whined as the last few flames winced in the downdraft from the chimney. El placed a hand on the glass, an idea forming in her mind. She took a steadying breath to gather her composure and glanced back at Hopper, who remained fast asleep in his chair. She then turned back, switching the box back on and quickly turning the channels until she found nothing but staticky snow. She turned the volume all the way down as to not wake Hopper, then slowly, deliberately, closed her eyes.
In an instant she was there, in the dark but familiar world between worlds. It did not take long for her to find him, sitting cross legged in his pajamas, tucked neatly away in the blanket fort he must’ve rebuilt for her. She was surprised to not find him surrounded by family. After all, it wasn’t that late into the night, and it was a holiday. Heart thudding loudly, she crept closure to see him better. His expression was neutral, his head propped up by his hands, elbows resting on his knees. For a long time he sat there, deep in thought. When El got closer to him, she saw that his eyes looked puffy, and she wondered if he, too, had been crying that night. She knelt beside him and watched as he straightened and lifted his super-com to his mouth.
“Hi, El? Are you there?” He paused, and it grieved her to stay silent. “It’s Mike. It’s Day 42…it’s Christmas. I…hope you had a good day, wherever you are,” he paused again to sniff, wiping his face. El wished terribly to reach out to him, but remained where she was. “I had an OK Christmas. My parents were really good to me…I think they feel bad for me. I got almost as many gifts as Holly,” he laughed. “But presents don’t mean…I guess… I don’t know. I, I wish you were here. You’d love it here. It’s all decorated and…” he took his finger off the button for a moment, a pained, almost angry spasm reflecting across his face. He muttered something inaudible under his breath before continuing. “I miss you, El. I hope you’re okay. M-merry Christmas.”
And with that he shut the device down and tossed it away. His voice had wavered with the last phrase, and now she watched as tears spilled down his cheeks, just as El had done moments before.
“Merry Christmas, Mike.” She whispered, barely loud enough for even her to hear. But something made the boy sit upright, his eyes wide. He reached for the super-com, caressing the speaker and holding it up to his ear. Then, he glanced around, his eyes darting from one corner of the basement to the other. El stood, the surroundings of the basement starting to fade as she pulled herself away, afraid she’d done too much. But just as the dark world collapsed entirely, she caught a glimpse of Mike, the beginnings of a smile stretching onto his face…
El opened her eyes, gasping as she was shot back to reality. She could feel the hot stickiness of blood trickling from her nose, and her mind felt fuzzy, like the static of the screen in front of her. She slowly gathered herself, taking note of her surroundings, feeling the fresh tears on her cheeks with her shaky fingers. As quietly as she could, El stood and turned the TV off, and walked to the kitchen to wipe her nose. In his chair, Hopper had quit snoring, but if he was awake he showed no intention of confronting her for what she had just done. She stood over the sink, cleaning off her face and going over in her mind the images she had seen. Chiefly, the look of shock and joy on Mike’s face when she’d spoken out loud. He heard me, she thought, and through her faint reflection in the window she saw herself smile. He’d heard her, somehow. And all those nights she’d heard him, too. Without any rational explanation for it. They were connected. Any thoughts of regret or fear of exposing herself would be saved for tomorrow morning. For now, she would relish Mike’s tiny smile.
Gathering up their blankets, El placed another over Hop before retiring to her room for the night. Next to her bed, she had gathered each of her gifts neatly arranged so that she could turn and see them whenever she liked. A whole pile of things to call her own. Outside, the wind roared again and she could ear the snow drifting against the sides of the cabin, and El was grateful to be snuggled into her own bed, safe and warm. When she finally closed her eyes, Mike’s face, clearer now that she’d been able to see him again, shown brightly in her mind, and for the first time in a long time, it didn’t make her sad. She finally sighed, relinquishing herself completely to sleepiness, one phrase still echoing in her thoughts.
Merry Christmas.