Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty”, said Oscar Wilde some odd hundred years ago in The Importance of Being Earnest. And there's a lot of truth to that. Nothing is ever truly simple with romance – not how the couple meets, what sparked that initial connection, the determining factors that decide whether the couple stays together or breaks things off or anything. It's quite a quagmire of an emotion really. But in that uncertainty, we learn the virtue of patience as we stop to process the concept of romance and discover what it really means to us.

And the uncertainty that romance embodies is the meat of this story – while the couple to be are the potatoes. It all started a week or so after Lupin's double date disaster turned successful heist of the Lovesick Pig wine. After Lupin placed an anonymous tip in a disguised voice about what ol' Guido Cesario had done the Gendarmerie reigned down on his estate like a ton of bricks. Of course he, Fujiko and Rebecca all made sure to exit stage left before they got there. Even after all that happened Fujiko was still insistent on taking a bottle of the Lovesick Pig to sell off to a prospective buyer before the news of the raid on Guido came out. Though Lupin tried his best to convince her otherwise the cat burglar's greedy resolve was set in stone. Hence why the lewdly labeled bottle now sits in the fridge of the Lupin Gang's safe house.

It should be noted though – that the bottle Fujiko grabbed was one of the disguised Lovesick Pig wines served at the auction with the fake label. A label that just so happened to be the favorite of a certain gunman who was minding the safe house along with a certain samurai while Lupin and Fujiko were out...

“Hot damn! I can't believe Lupin got a bottle of Brunello di Montalcino. And it's a 1997 vintage! This is a hard year to find on a good day.” Jigen said from inside the refrigerator, pulling out the quarry he was rummaging for.

“Are you sure Lupin won't mind you drinking that? Knowing him if he didn't mention it he very likely wants to save it to have with Fujiko.” Goemon pointed out from where he sat on the couch.

“Hey, he had a bunch of wine with her and that adrenaline junkie wife of his at that wine auction. Like he'll miss one third of a bottle of Sangiovese grape wine.” Jigen said as he got a wine bottle opener and a glass.

“One third? That's an awful lot of alcohol to consume at once, Jigen.” Goemon said with a concerned expression.

“Oh sweet summer samurai – I can consume three times that on a regular day. But today I just need a small buzz.” Jigen replied while grinning as he worked to uncork the wine.

“Hmph. Well don't come crying to this sweet summer samurai when you have a hangover.” Goemon replied with a curt tone and a pouting scowl but there was no real malice in his voice.

“Wouldn't dream of it. Care for a glass yourself?” Jigen asked as he poured a generous portion of Brunello di Montalcino into his glass.

“No thank you. I'm sure I don't need to remind you of my prior bad experiences with any other spirits besides sake.” The samurai replied.

“True, but you get cross-eyed from taking a sip of an energy drink Goemon. It's not like it takes much.” Jigen said with an amused shrug of his shoulders to which Goemon blushed and look away in embarrassed annoyance.

“Th-That's only because of the obscenely high amount of caffeine! Your Western drinks add it by the gallons!” Goemon stuttered sharply in his defense.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, pal.” Jigen said as he took slow sniff of the wine, then sighed contentedly. “Ah – nothin' beats an old Brunello.”

“Do you always go for older aged wines?” Goemon asked.

“Usually, but I don't mind straying from my usual tastes once in a while to enjoy young wines. It's all about how the vintage is made. And when it comes to young Brunello's and old ones ya can't beat the classics.” Jigen replied as he swished the wine in his glass.

“What a profound viewpoint. If you applied yourself, Jigen, you'd be quite the master of Drunken Fist.” Goemon said.

“I should alert the press. Goemon Ishikawa the 13^th just told a joke.” Jigen said.

“Oh no. I'm being completely sincere. You're already a veteran of the drunk portion given your love of spirits and all their variants.” Goemon said with a serious expression before it shifted into a grin which made the gunman laugh.

“Ha, ha! I guess that's true. In that case then I make this a toast to my future success as a Drunken Fist master. Maybe one day I'll even be on par with your martial arts, Goemon.” Jigen said and gave a playful wink.

“Only in your dreams, old friend.” Goemon said with a small laugh of his own as he watched the gunman drink down the glass of Brunello.

Goemon observed the motion, and took especial note of Jigen's posture and the way he held the wine glass. He was standing perfectly straight while his head moved back in a slow motion before stopping at just the right angle to take his first sip of the wine, hand tipped back to let fancy red spirit flow down his throat. Not a drop of the Brunello dribbled past his lips as he drank. When he finished the gunman pulled the glass away from his lips with the same grace he used before as his head moved at the same time to sit steady on his shoulders, relishing the taste. This was a form of Jigen that the samurai has come to appreciate seeing over the years he's known him as it shows a type of refinement you wouldn't expect from a man like Jigen. In another lifetime where they aren't wanted in literally all seven continents Goemon could see Jigen being a sommelier. Of course he would still have his affinity for guns – possibly from being a competitive shooter. Even in a world where they were normal people Goemon couldn't picture Jigen without his Smith & Wesson Model 19. It was his trademark next to his scruffy beard and hat. And all three gave him a classical, dying breed type of charm that he greatly admires...

“Heh. Come now, Ishikawa. You know good and well that what you feel for Daisuke is a greater emotion than mere admiration.” Goemon mentally scoffed to himself. Oh yes. He was quite aware that the way he looked at Jigen, the way he listened to him speak and most of all the way he thought of him far exceeded admiration.

But that's only how he feels. And Goemon knew there was no way Jigen felt the same about him. A brother in arms and a good friend, sure. Anything more than that would be wishful thinking on his part, the samurai reasoned. So to avoid ruining the friendship they already have Goemon will forever keep his feelings a secret – even on pain of death.

“...mon! Hey, Goemon!” Jigen's voice suddenly rang through his inner thoughts which snapped Goemon's attention back to the real world to look at the older man.

“Ah, I do apologize Jigen. I was in a bit of a self-reflection. What were you saying?” Goemon asked. It wasn't a total lie...but he wasn't going to speak the whole truth either.

“Heh, I figured as much. I was asking how you'd feel about watching TV? Now that Lupin is gone we don't have to put up with those God-awful soap operas of his.” Jigen said.

“This is true. I must admit that I do find it difficult to watch TV with Lupin around. Although when he is here the way you two fight over the remote is more than entertaining.” Goemon said with a sideways grin.

“That was one time, damn it! Do you wanna watch somethin' or not?” Jigen asked with a mild yet amused glare that made the samurai laugh.

“Of course. Especially if it's that show about the crime-solving doctor. The actor played the clarinet for the opening theme I believe.” Goemon said as they walked to living room.

“Oh yeah, I know the one you're talkin' about. I think it's coming on! God bless that man for actually having his own family star in the show with him.” Jigen said.

So the two men enjoyed little marathon of several classic mystery shows. Jigen made sure to pick the episodes featuring the mob because he's always amused by Hollywood's glamorized misinterpretation of the underworld. Goemon himself enjoyed watching the plot unfold and the occasional fight scenes. Especially when a martial artist was involved. Halfway through watching their current episode Jigen had looked at Goemon out the corner of his eye. The samurai felt his gaze but thought nothing of it. More than likely the gunman was just checking to see if Goemon was still showing interest in the marathon. At least that's what he thought, until he felt an index finger and thumb take hold of a strand of his hair then gently start to caress it. The unexpected touch made Goemon whip his head around to look at Jigen in shock.

“Jigen? What are you doing?” Goemon asked – greatly confused.

“Just getting a closer look and feel of your hair. It always looked nice, but I didn't think it was this soft. Like you got it professionally done.” Jigen replied whilst continuing to play with the strand of jet black hair.

The samurai blinked once, then twice in shock. Soon the feeling settled down and was replaced with...embarrassment? No, not exactly that. It was more like the happily bashful feeling you get when someone compliments you. Thankfully it wasn't enough to make Goemon blush, which he absolutely hates due to it being so noticeable on his face. However it was enough to make him nervously avert his eyes back to the episode playing out on the TV.

“Ah. Y-Yes well, thank you. I don't see a hairstylist however. I take care of it myself. My parents taught me early on that it is of the utmost importance for a samurai to maintain his tresses.” Goemon replied.

“No kiddin'? Heh. That's more than I can say for me. After a few strokes with a hard brush I call it a day. I can count on one hand how often I use any kind of hair oil.” Jigen said which made Goemon raise a curious eyebrow.

“Interesting. May I?” The samurai asked as he gestured to Jigen's hair.

“Sure.” Jigen replied with a shrug and allowed Goemon to run his fingers through his hair.

“Hmm...Your hair is certainly thicker than mine. And I can tell you haven't used any product recently as it's rather dry. However it's not an unpleasant texture to feel.” Goemon said before pulling his hand away.

“Really?” Jigen asked.

“Yes. It reminds me of wool yarn. Or a dragon's beard.” Goemon explained.

“Ha. Guess that's better than the shag carpet people usually say it feels like. Your hair feels like spun silk to me.” Jigen said as he continued to caress Goemon's hair lock.

“You have quite the way with words, gunman.” Goemon replied.

“Right back at ya, samurai.” Jigen said with his signature crooked smile as the pair chuckled.

Wrapped in their own world, however, they failed to hear or notice Fujiko and Lupin returning to the safe house as the yellow Fiat parked at the end of the driveway. Fujiko was the first to exit the car and slammed the front passenger door in anger before storming inside the safe house – her pumps clicking sharply with every step she took. Lupin quickly exited the car himself but made sure to gently close his door before scrambling to catch up with his off/on girlfriend.

“H-Hey, wait up Fujicakes! Don't tell me you're that upset about the deal going south?” Lupin asked as he finally caught up with the cat burglar.

“Of course I am, Lupin! We drove all the way to Milan to sell that guy the Lovesick Pig we managed to grab and after listening to hours of him brag about his car show trophies he decides that he'd rather spend twice what I asked for the wine on some God-awful looking sports car!” Fujiko yelled as they walked up the driveway.

“Well the Bugatti Divo isn't a model of car to sneeze at, Fujiko. It's a sweet ride, and named after my dad's favorite Grand Prix motor race driver.” Lupin said as he got out his key and unlocked the front door, walking inside along with Fujiko.

“Whatever! Ugh, not only was that a waste of gas and time it's a waste of the wine. What do I do with it now?” Fujiko asked.

“You could always use it for couples that lost their spark and help revive broken marriages.” Lupin suggested with a grin to which the cat burglar scoffed in amusement.

“Oh sure, Lupin. I can see the signage now. Fujiko Mine's Love Renewal Shot – get yours today and get your rocks off tonight. That'll be something.” Fujiko said as they walked into the living room.

“I'll bet the guys would think it's a good idea. Hey Jigen, Goemon! What do you...” But Lupin's question stopped short when his eyes got a look at the scene before him.

The first thing he saw was Jigen and Goemon sitting on the sofa laughing together. The second thing he noticed was that Jigen was holding a lock of Goemon's hair. Much like how an attentive lover would do for a partner. But the third thing he noticed that made the air suck out of him was what was on the table. A bottle of Brunello di Montalcino...or more accurately a bottle of Lovesick Pig wine with a label of Brunello di Montalcino. And one third of the bottle was missing as evident by the wine glass next to it. Lupin slowly turned to look at Fujiko and saw that she was already looking at him – sharing a similar expression of horror.

….Uh oh.

Without any hesitation or forewarning Lupin made a flying tackle at Jigen.

“WHAT THE FU---!?” Jigen started to curse from the sudden attack and struggled against his assailant only to be pinned back down.

“JIGEN, STAY CALM OLD BUDDY! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD! I CAN AND WILL PUT YOU IN HORNY JAIL!” Lupin yelled as he wrestled with his friend.

“What in blazes!? Lupin what are you do...!?” But Goemon was cut off when he too was suddenly grabbed and found himself pulled to the side with a very concerned Fujiko looking at him.

“Are you alright, Goemon!? He didn't hurt you did he? Your clothes are still on so at least he didn't go to second base or anything.” Fujiko said as she checked his person.

“Wh-What!? I'm fine Fujiko, what is the matter with you? Lupin get off of Jigen this instant!” Goemon shouted to Lupin who was still wrestling with the gunman and tried to go over to break them up only for Fujiko to pull him back to the side.

“Don't go near him Goemon! Jigen is in no condition to be around you after he drank that wine!” The cat burglar exclaimed.

“Do give Jigen some credit, Fujiko. He has a stronger constitution for alcohol than the average person.” Goemon said.

“That's not...Oof! What she...ugh, meant Goemon-chan! The wine that...ouch! Jigen drank isn't...ragh! A regular wine! Gah, damn it Jigen keep still!” Lupin ordered to the gunman as he replied in between grunts of pain whenever Jigen would jab him in the chest or kick him.

“Then get...ugh! The hell off of me, you asshole!” Jigen snapped back as he began pulling at Lupin's arm.

“What do you mean the wine isn't a regular wine? What's wrong with it?” Goemon asked, looking back and forth between the master thief and the cat burglar in confusion.

“Remember the wine auction from last week and Lupin tried to play smooth operator with me and Rebecca by inviting the both of us?” Fujiko asked.

“Yes, I do recall that was quite the misadventure you had from what Lupin described.” Goemon answered with a nod.

“And remember how...ugh! The wine everyone drank...oof! Was actually the Lovesick...ugh! Pig that the winemaker gave the auction attendees?!” Lupin asked, again speaking in between grunts while fighting to keep a hold on Jigen's legs.

“Yes! But I don't see how...” Goemon paused and thought before he finished his sentence, then his eyes grew wide when the realization hit him as he looked at Fujiko. “Wait. You can't mean that the wine Jigen drank was the Lovesick Pig?!”

“See for yourself!” Fujiko stated and grabbed the wine bottle from the table, ripping off the fake Brunello label to reveal the true erotic label of the sexy pig lady that belonged to the Lovesick Pig.

“Wha...I...Why in the hell was that in our refrigerator with the fake label still on!?” Goemon asked in horror.

“I needed to put in a temporary place to keep it cool so I could sell it to a potential buyer! That's why Lupin and I left out but the chump decided he wanted to buy a Diva sports car instead.” Fujiko replied.

“DIVO!” Lupin yelled in correction as he struggled to get out of the headlock Jigen now had him in.

“Whatever! Anyway this stuff turns the most prudish person into a complete horn dog and they fall head over heels for the first person they see after drinking it. It's like if someone bottled the essence of Errol Flynn and Dorian Gray. I must have forgotten to take off the fake label.” Fujiko explained. Goemon looked at her, not as shocked as before but still very surprised, and took in all of the information before taking the bottle to examine it.

“But wait, if that's true then why hasn't Jigen reacted? He drank a decent amount of this. And from what you told us about your escapade at the wine auction it doesn't take much in terms of consumption amount or time for the love potion to take effect. He hasn't acted any differently towards me than how he's always been.” Goemon explained, which was enough to make Lupin stop wrestling with Jigen to look at the samurai in surprise.

“Wait. He wasn't showing any symptoms at all?” Lupin asked.

“None. And Jigen has looked me dead in the eyes. Nothing about his demeanor is any different.” Goemon answered.

“Yes it is. I'm twice as pissed as I usually would be when Lupin does something stupid.” Jigen stated as he yanked Lupin's right leg all the way back and used the headlock to forcefully make his head meet the toe of his shoe.

“ARGH! Alright give, give! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” Lupin exclaimed in agony as he repeatedly tapped his hand on the floor to signify his surrender.

“Jigen, let go of Lupin. You'd feel very guilty if you hurt him too much.” Goemon reasoned.

“You sure? Because I'm not feeling guilty right now.” The gunman replied.

“Please?” Goemon asked with a kind smile, which also held a touch of amusement at seeing Lupin's current beaten form. Jigen groaned but nodded in agreement.

“Fine. But only because you asked me.” Jigen said and released his best friend then stood up to brush himself off. Meanwhile Lupin laid in an aching, limbless heap on the floor.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow...You're pretty spry for a dude who's over the hill, Gigi.” Lupin said.

“Do you want me to literally kick you while you're down?” Jigen asked in warning as he raised his foot which made Lupin scramble to Fujiko's side and hide behind her legs, shuddering in fear.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! I meant it in a good way, honest!” Lupin swore.

“But this is weird. Everyone who drank the Lovesick Pig was affected at the auction. Well except for Lupin but his womanizer mode is always on. Why aren't you affected, Jigen?” Fujiko asked.

“I couldn't tell you. Maybe it's because Goemon isn't a woman?” Jigen suggested.

“That wouldn't be it. Those three guys who saw Lupin after they drank the wine were all over him. Literally and figuratively.” Fujiko said with a giggle which made the other men chuckle as well while Lupin puffed his cheeks out in annoyance.

“Hey, I lost my favorite pair of cashmere dress pants that night! Still Fujiko is right. The love potion affects you whether the person you stare at is a woman or a man. It doesn't make sense that you're not bothered, Jigen.” Lupin said as he stood up.

“Perhaps it's as I said; Jigen has a stronger constitution for alcohol than the average person. And he has an immeasurable amount of willpower as well. I wouldn't be surprised if Jigen was simply immune.” Goemon said in a very matter-of-fact tone which Jigen nodded in agreement to.

“Heh, I'd say that's about right.” Jigen said with proud look.

“Oh brother, did you drink that wine too Goemon? You're really laying it on thick for Jigen.” Fujiko said, rolling her eyes.

“I-I beg your pardon!?” Goemon asked in a defensive tone.

“Yeah, seems like the effects of the wine rubbed off on you instead. Why don't you give him a big ol' smooch while you're at it?” Lupin teased as he made kissy faces.

Now that actually did make Goemon feel embarrassed. And he felt that all too obvious blush burning hot on his cheeks. After glaring at his leader and friend for a moment he turned to Jigen.

“Jigen, I've come to realize that I was incorrect about you feeling regret for hurting Lupin. Because I won't feel at all remorseful for inciting violence on his person. Do as you wish.” Goemon said and with a indignant 'hmph' left the room while Jigen smiled evilly as he cracked his knuckles.

“A-aha, ha, ha...I guess I brought this on myself, didn't I?” Lupin nervously chuckled.

“Pretty much.” Jigen said with a shrug, then proceeded to charge at the master thief. “Now come here!”

“AHH!!” Lupin screamed in horror as he ran away with the gunman hot on his heels.

“...Well at least I get the TV to myself.” Fujiko said as she grabbed the remote control and changed the channel just in time to tune into see one of her favorite soap operas.

Little did the gang know, however, that this comedy of errors was just the beginning.

The first odd instance happened a few days later, the wine incident more or less forgotten. Goemon woke up early and as per usual took the liberty of cooking breakfast for the gang. It was unanimously decided that he would be the one to make breakfast due to the fact that Jigen woke up an hour past the appropriate time for cooking the first meal of the day, Lupin liked to experiment with food in odd ways and after Fujiko almost got them busted by setting off the fire alarm which brought the fire department and police to their safe house not only did that mark her first and last time cooking but she was subsequently banned from using anything that produced a higher level of heat than a toaster oven. But Goemon didn't mind cooking breakfast for his friends. He actually found it relaxing to do and it gave him something to do. Fujiko and Lupin were the first ones to come in, just as Goemon sat down their plates.

“Morning, Goemon-chan! Whatever you made sure smells delicious.” Lupin said.

“Yeah. And after running halfway around the city from dear old Pops this sure is a welcomed sight.” Fujiko added with a smile.

“Good morning, and thank you both. I hope you'll enjoy it. Where's Jigen?” Goemon asked.

“Dead to the world. He was pretty buzzed from all that coffee he drank to stay on lookout. And when we got back after the heist he crashed.” Lupin said as he sat down and licked his lips at the plate before him.

“Ah, that's unfortunate. Luckily I anticipated this and got the strongest migraine pills the direct market carries.” Goemon said as he poured a cup of juice and took out the pills from the cabinet.

“That's real sweet of you, Goemon. I'm sure Jigen will appreciate it.” Fujiko said as she took a bite of the grilled fish.

“But it'd be a real shame for that third plate of food to get cold. I'm sure Jigen would also appreciate the fact that I didn't let it go to waste...” Lupin said as he none too subtlety reached over to get Jigen's breakfast only to have the napkin holder slammed on his hand effectively stopping him. “YEEE-YOWCH!!”

A physically drained but still mentally sharp Jigen groggily chuckled as he slowly pulled the napkin holder off his friend's hand and sat it back down.

“Nice try, boss. But I'll make sure my food won't go to waste myself.” The gunman said as he let out a long yawn.

“Sheesh, talk about ungrateful.” Lupin muttered as he blew on the burning sting on the back of his hand.

“Good morning, Jigen. You really shouldn't drink so much coffee like that. To say nothing of how unhealthy it is, you end up looking like an extra for a B-list horror movie.” Goemon said as he held out the cup and three pills to Jigen.

“Yeah, I know, I know...” Jigen groaned as he accepted the cup and pills, tossing back the migraine medication and downing the cup of grapefruit juice. After cracking his neck a bit he let out a relaxed sigh. “Ah...”

“Better?” Goemon asked with an amused smile.

“I feel like a human being again so way better. Thanks, angel face.” Jigen said as he gave Goemon a peck on the cheek and walked past him to get the jug of grapefruit juice.

…

…..

…...

…......Wait, did that just happen?

“Uh...Jigen?” Lupin asked in confusion, hand paused mid movement of stuffing his face with another sweet fried egg.

“Yeah?” Jigen asked casually. Like he didn't realize what he just did.

“What was that just now?” Lupin asked again.

“What are you talking about?” Jigen asked as he turned to sit on the table.

“The fact that you called Goemon 'angel face' and kissed him on the cheek.” Fujiko explained with an incredulous look. As if he gained self-awareness in that instance the gunman blinked in surprise before his expression relaxed again.

“Oh, right. I guess I did.” Jigen said as he started to eat his souffle pancake before Lupin thrust his knife into his fork to stop him from chowing down.

“Hold up there, morning Romeo! You don't just gloss over calling someone angel face and giving 'em a smooch on the cheek then eat your breakfast! What do you mean, I guess I did?” Lupin asked in a demanding tone.

“What's it to you? You kiss Fujiko and call her every cutesy nickname you can think of at all hours of the day and I don't cut off your meal. Which, by the way, is a very unwise stunt to pull on me this early.” Jigen stated as he used his fork as leverage to twist Lupin's arm into an uncomfortable position.

“Ow, ow, ow! Alright, I'm sorry! Give, give, give!” Lupin pleaded as he tapped the table with his free hand, sighing in relief when Jigen let him go.

“But seriously Jigen – that's not something you normally do. It was pretty odd.” Fujiko pointed.

“Well that's true. The most I can say is that I was on autopilot.” Jigen said then turned around to look at the samurai. “You're not upset about it, are ya Goemon?”

For his part Goemon was silent throughout the whole conversation. His face however spoke louder than any words did. He looked very surprised but not in an upsetting way. It was more akin to being left speechless when you got something you never expected to get but are internally elated. His eyes were wide but his cheeks were colored with a dusty rose blush. After a moment he blinked out of his shock and cleared his throat before addressing Jigen.

“N-Not at all, Jigen. I suppose the caffeine crash had more of an effect on you than I figured. All of you can eat without me. I'll be eating on the back porch.” Goemon said and without waiting for an answer he grabbed his plate and hastily left the kitchen/dining room.

“Huh, Goemon doesn't usually eat outside. But I guess he wanted the fresh air.” Jigen said with a shrug as he proceeded to eat. Either ignoring or oblivious to the flabbergasted looks Fujiko and Lupin gave him before sharing a questioning expression together about that whole interaction.

Well, strange as that was it's just a one-off event. No other incidents will occur. Or so the rivaling couple thought...

The second incident happened two weeks later. Jigen's random show of affection during breakfast was mostly forgotten but it did pop up in Goemon's mind once in a while. Though as not to bother his friends or fuel his hidden feelings for the gunman with false hope he didn't bring it up. No matter how much that little optimistic romantic part of his heart wanted him to he would not risk tarnishing his and Jigen's friendship. So Goemon kept himself busy with the usual things; meditation, practicing his swordsmanship and using said swordsmanship to cut yet another worthless object to save his friends from being captured by authorities.

“Heads up, Goemon! We're coming down the highway and Pops called in SWAT to greet us at the museum!” Lupin's voice spoke over the communicator sitting next to the samurai.

Speak of the devil. Replying with a quick “Roger” to his friend and leader Goemon stood up with his sword at the ready and positioned himself on the concrete median – ready to strike. Soon enough a canary yellow Fiat came speeding down the left lane at breakneck speed. As it drove past Lupin shouted out the window “All yours!”, to which Goemon took as the moment to steady himself and take a firm hold of his hilt so that he may swiftly unsheathe Zantetsuken. It wasn't long before the resounding blares of dozens of sirens hit his ears and a swarm of SWAT and police cars crested the top of the highway. The steadfast Inspector Zenigata leading the charge. Leaning out from the driver's seat he yelled into the megaphone at the samurai.

“I don't want to run you over, Goemon! Make way!” Yelled the inspector. To this Goemon couldn't help but smirk.

“Very well, Zenigata.” Goemon said before making a graceful leap into the air then descending with his blade.

He was practically skating across the road in a figure eight fashion before flipping backwards to stand on the median. The samurai slowly sheathed Zantetsuken and with a satisfying 'click' as the hilt connected to the scabbard the outline of a figure eight formed in the road, then dropped out of place as it fell to the ground below. Several of the police and SWAT cars tried to put on the breaks but it was too late and some ended up falling down the hole. Others being pushed forward to fall accidentally by cars behind them that couldn't stop in time while those that did manage to avoid the sudden pitfall quickly got out to help others. And of course just as Zenigata was the first to lead he was the first to fall. But he didn't fall quietly.

“THIS IS OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE!!” Zenigata yelled as he fell below.

“I don't know why he's complaining. I made way as he asked. A way down that is.” Goemon said to himself as he shrugged and proceeded to run off to catch up with Lupin.

Sometime later the entire gang arrived back at the hideout and Lupin placed down the spoils of their victory on the coffee table. A collection of fine jeweled trinkets from belts to silverware that was owned by an underhanded uppercrust who gave it to the bank as collateral for a loan he needed to pay off some scary high-powered folks he owes money to for being rough with the entertainment at one of their clubs. Now it's stolen – and that particular bank he gave his collection to has a strict clause in their policy that halts loans on stolen collateral as a precautionary measure in case the theft was part of an inside job in an attempt to scam the bank. And on top of that this unfortunate news was passed along to those scary people. Tsk, tsk if that ain't a shame. Oh well! The Lupin Gang will happily enjoy this loot in the guy's stead.

“Man, just look at this stuff. I guess you really can put jewels on anything.” Lupin said as he picked up a ceramic fruit bowl adorned with sapphires on the outer top rim and along the outer bottom rim.

“Yeah but that doesn't mean you should do it, Lupin. Some of these poor gems are better off being removed and sold by themselves...” Fujiko trailed off while staring at bedazzled silver serving tray. What a waste of good metal.

“You have a point there, Fujiko. Sometimes splitting up is the better way to go.” Lupin said as he continued searching until his eyes landed on a gold hirauchi kanzashi hairpin with a filigree-like end that was carved in the shape of a Camellia flower and had an Akoya seed pearl inlay. “Oooh! But some things are too good to be separated.”

Just as the master thief was about to grab the hairpin it was quickly snatched up, and as he voiced his displeasure he was shocked to see that Jigen had taken it. Both Lupin and Fujiko watched the gunman walk over to Goemon who sat on the bay window looking outside. He saw Jigen approaching from his reflection in the glass so he turned his head to see what the other man wanted. However he wasn't prepared for Jigen to cup his right cheek with one hand – calloused yet comforting to feel – and fiddle with the hair with his other hand. Goemon sat still in surprise while Fujiko and Lupin watched as Jigen stood in front of him for a moment before moving away to reveal the hairpin nicely settled in Goemon's hair.

“There. I think it's only fair that should be your share of the loot. It suits ya, too.” Jigen complimented with a small smile. The samurai blinked exactly three times in surprise before he looked to the side and tried his damnedest to fight back the growing blush, but to no avail.

“T-Thank you, Jigen. I...I-It is very nice indeed. H-Heh, heh.” Came the awkward stutter and chuckle.

Meanwhile the master thief and cat burglar just stood in the background – jaws hanging low from shock. And the memory of what happened at breakfast two weeks again came back. They turned to one another and shared in their stunned silence with similarly stunned expressions. Finally though they both snapped out of it and Fujiko was the first to break the ice, clearing her throat to bring the attention of the two other men.

“Wow, Jigen. That's super generous of you. I don't think you've ever given Goemon treasure like that before.” Fujiko pointed out.

“Hm? Oh well, I figured he deserved it since he did a lot of the recon work and got Pops off our tail. Besides – you got plenty of trinkets like that yourself. And Lupin's hair is way too short to use a hairpin.” Jigen stated.

“Hey! I try to grow a mullet, but Fujiko keeps cutting it!” Lupin defended.

“Over my drop dead gorgeous body will I allow you to have that Cousin It hairdo. You're lucky I let you keep those hairy millipedes on the side of your face.” The cat burglar stated with a side-eyed glare to which Lupin gasped in indignation.

As the couple mildly bickered about hair Jigen decided to go over his share of the loot. Meanwhile, Goemon sat in the bay window, cheeks still dusted pink and surprised by Jigen's gesture. It was so unexpected. So kind of him. Almost...intimate. But as soon as the last thought entered his mind the samurai shook his head. No, no. He was overthinking it. Jigen was just being nice to him. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a surprise gesture. Nothing like this will happen again.

...Or so the samurai thought.

The third, final incident would come about one week later. Fujiko will sometimes tease Goemon by asking to “borrow” the hairpin Jigen gave him from their last haul and always gets a laugh at the samurai's embarrassed yet protective reaction over the golden accessory. But apart from that it was business as usual for the gang. They had a couple heists here and here, but even a team of elite thieves need to take a moment to settle down. It was a little tradition of the Lupin Gang to take a week long break at the end of every other month and just hang out together. They would stay in and watch movies, take a moment of self care and even play board games. Normal things the thieves don't often get to enjoy while engaging in globe-trotting heists. And it was always something they looked forward to.

“Boy oh boy, I've been waiting for this month! After so many jobs around the world nothing beats lounging at home in your PJ's with the best name-brand artificially flavored salty and sweet snacks the local supermarket has to offer.” Lupin said as he plopped on the couch and kicked his feet up, opening up a bag of tortilla chips to pour into a large bowl.

“Not to mention having a moment of respite to wash out all of the smoke, grease, blood and other nastiness from literally dodging bullets and bombs while on the run. Ooh, this mud mask is amazing.” Fujiko said happily as she finished tying off the towel on her freshly washed hair to help it dry.

“Save some of that for me! It's expected of a Lupin to maintain their gorgeous looks.” Lupin said as he struck a pose.

“Of course. After all I want you to look your best when I sell the circus a new performance monkey.” Fujiko joked as she opened the can of chocolate fudge wafer rolls.

“Ha! They couldn't afford me. Speaking of expensive taste – where's Jigen? He's usually here with the menus for all the order out restaurants near us.” Lupin pointed out.

“He's getting them still. Then he texted me about making two stops somewhere and that he'd take a while.” Fujiko explained just as Goemon walked into the living room, holding up stacks of DVD's and Blu-rays.

“It wasn't easy, but I've returned victorious thanks to Mariano's Media Mansion!” Goemon called out as he carefully made his way to the living room table.

“Nice, Goemon-chan! Did you get that silent movie about the killer thief that was part of the inspiration for Batman that I like?” Lupin asked as he craned his flexible neck over the back of the couch to greet and watch his friend.

“I did indeed. You were very lucky, too, as it was the last one. Mr. Mariano himself told me that a rich classic film collector was keen on it.” Goemon said as he sat the movie cases on the table and proceeded to organize them.

“Yeah? What made him sell it to you over the collector?” Fujiko asked as she turned around to look at Goemon.

“I believe he said something about her being an 'unreasonable bitch' and that he'd sooner break the disc than sell it to her. But selling it to me would make for a priceless expression when he tells her he no longer has the movie.” Goemon explained as he looked back at the couple with a grin who laughed at the story.

“Glad we could make ol' Mariano's day! So what should we have for our takeaway tonight?” Lupin asked.

“I'm feeling like sandwiches. How about we get deli?” Fujiko suggested.

“Yeah! There's plenty of sandwich shops around. And I know this one place that sells yakisoba buns, Goemon.” Lupin said.

“Wonderful! But where's Jigen with the menus? Usually he's here before I come back with the movies.” The samurai pointed out. Just then the gunman in question came through the door.

“Ask and you shall receive, folks.” Jigen said as he flashed a set of different restaurant menus in one hand while carrying something else in his other hand.

“Great! Now we can finally get this party started. But hey, what's that bag you're carrying? If it's snacks you didn't have to ransack the store. We're only staying in for a week.” Lupin said, having noticed the other item Jigen had.

“It ain't snacks, boss. It's actually one of the two things I stopped for.” Jigen said as he held up the bag and unzipped it to pull out it's contents.

It was a dark navy blue suit with a suede tailcoat with bronze buttons, matching navy blue dress pants and a black dress shirt underneath the tailcoat with a dark silver tie. It was clearly tailor-made. Lupin, Goemon and Fujiko looked at the suit in awe a the fashion statement as it proved that while he may not seem like it from general appearances Jigen was a man of great taste. Especially with clothes.

“Wow, that's a fine piece of stitchery Jigen.” Fujiko complimented.

“Indeed. It's a very dashing outfit.” Goemon added with an affirming nod.

“I'll say! I may just steal that for me and Fujiko's date next week.” Lupin said with a grin.

“The hell you are. I don't want lipstick stains on this suit. It's a bitch to wash off even by hand.” Jigen stated.

“At forty dollars a pop it better be. With the more than likely chances of us getting blown out of the bad guy's lair and ending up in the water, I don't want my lipstick smudging.” Fujiko replied.

“But isn't that a bit dressy for a week of staying in? Ooh! Are we going to reenact scenes from that murder mystery movie based on that one board game?” Lupin asked excitedly.

“No Lupin, we're not doing a reenactment. This is actually part of a surprise that I got for Goemon.” Jigen explained, which made everyone do a double take in shock.

“A surprise?” Fujiko and Lupin asked in shock.

“For me?” Goemon asked to make sure he heard that right.

“Yeah. See, I know we usually stay in all week but I figured I'd shake things up and take you out to someplace the day after tomorrow. Just for that night.” Jigen explained.

“Oh, I see. Well that breaks up our tradition a bit. Where would we be going for you to need a new suit?” Goemon asked, growing even more curious.

“That was the second stop I made after I got the suit. A friend of mine who owes me a favor was passing through town, and got us these tickets.” Jigen replied and took out two slips of paper from his pocket and held them up to Goemon's face.

When the samurai got a look at what the tickets said he gasped in shock.

“My God! Tickets to the history of Japanese theater exhibit at the Museo d'Arte Orientale Edoardo Chiossone!?” Goemon questioned in excitement as he snatched the tickets to get a closer look at them.

“Yep. VIP passes, so we can see all of the rare pieces too.” Jigen affirmed with a proud smile.

“Holy shit! Did that friend of yours make a deal with Satan, Gigi? Even the standard tickets for that exhibit are sold out to where scalpers can't get a good look at them to print fakes.” Lupin said.

“Guy likes to schmooze with people in the fine arts circles, from touring plays to once in a lifetime art shows. He came in clutch for the museum's curator and took his niece to a dental appointment and got these tickets as a reward. He's seen it before and is taking his girlfriend to an opera that day so he gave them to me.” Jigen explained with a shrug.

“And...and you actually want to take me to see it? Jigen, these are tickets you couldn't get if you wished for them! This is such an amazing gift...” Goemon struggled to say as he came down from his excited high and started to hand Jigen the tickets back before the gunman placed his own calloused hand atop of Goemon's smooth hands.

“Which is exactly why I want to take you to see it, Goemon. I couldn't imagine having a better plus one to see this exhibit with. And I wouldn't pick anyone else even if I had other options.” Jigen explained with an endearing smile.

From that smile the three other occupants felt different things. The samurai felt a rush of emotions that he dare not identify less he get his hopes up. Meanwhile the master thief and the cat burglar looked at Jigen in shock, looked at Goemon in confusion, looked at each other in suspicion and nodded. Something is definitely up. But first – they had to assess the situation to figure out precisely what. With a plan already set Lupin spoke up.

“Hey Goemon, don't worry about it! It's only for one day. It's not like you and Jigen are going away for the whole week. And it's the day after tomorrow.” Lupin said.

“Yeah, it'll hardly be a break in our little tradition. And for an event like this exceptions have to be made.” Fujiko added cheerily.

“Are you both sure you wouldn't mind?” Goemon asked just to be certain.

“Course not! Besides that means me and Fujiko can marathon our favorite albums from that Canadian singer who makes covers from the Great American Songbook and slow dance the whole day.” Lupin said as he tried to lean in for a kiss only for Fujiko to shove him off the couch.

“Not while I have my wafer rolls, lover.” Fujiko said with a grin as she ate her snack. Goemon laughed at bit at the couple before turning back to Jigen.

“Well, if Fujiko and Lupin don't mind it then...yes! I'd be absolutely delighted to attend the exhibit with you, Jigen! Thank you so much!” The samurai exclaimed and, in a rare out of character moment, leaped to give Jigen a hug.

“No thanks needed, angel...Goemon. I'm glad it makes you so happy.” Jigen said with a smile as he hugged the other man back with his free arm.

And perhaps Goemon was too excited about the exhibition to notice the slip up of the Jigen almost saying that angel face pet name again, but Lupin and Fujiko sure noticed it. They shared another suspicious look and nodded again. Oh yeah, they are absolutely going to get to the bottom of this. Right after calling in that sandwich shop and watching the first bunch of movies at least. Priorities, after all.

Come the morning, Lupin and Fujiko left out with the excuse that they were going to pick up an ice crusher to make rosé and sake slushies for tonight. Now of course they are going to do that – but before they get it they're going to the San Marino Penitentiary to pay their buddy Guido Cesario a visit. Given that Jigen only started acting strange after drinking the Lovesick Pig wine, it stands to reason that it was the cause of his behavior. Ergo the maker behind the wine would know about any adverse effects the Lovesick Pig had on people apart from the typical aphrodisiac.

After “borrowing” a couple of Gendarmerie uniforms and “relieving” the guards of their watch duties Fujiko and Lupin made their way through the prison without being detected. None of the prisoners were any the wiser – just pegging the duo as a pair of guards doing their rounds. Eventually the disguised pair made it to the recreation room and walked the floor to find Guido. Eventually they located him in the corner working on a wooden figurine of, ironically enough, a pig with angel wings. They walked up to the disgraced wine maker and Lupin tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey there, Cesario. There's a matter we need to speak to you about for a moment.” Lupin said in his disguised voice. Guido turned around to look at the 'guards' and shrugged.

“Alright, sure. I don't know what matter could possibly involve me, though.” Guido said as he sat down the sanding rag and left the workbench to leave with the 'guards'.

Once they left the recreation room and turned down an empty hallway the disgraced wine maker was shocked to be grabbed by the female guard and shoved against the wall. He started to shout in confusion but the woman covered his mouth with one hand, and put a small caliber pistol right in the center of his forehead with the other. Guido made a muffled squeak of horror and understandably shut up.

“There, there now. As long as you keep quiet you can go back to carving your cute little pig, Guido.” The woman said, and her voice made Guido look at her in confusion. Her voice sounded very familiar somehow.

“Right! Just tell us what we want to know about the Lovesick Pig and you won't be a stuffed one.” The man said in a chipper tone, then removed the apparent mask he was wearing to reveal his true face.

“Mupawn!” Guido exclaimed Lupin's name in muffled surprise.

“Indeed! But you best keep it between us. Like I said; you won't be a stuffed pig if you tell us what we want to know. Are you going to be a good boy and talk to us?” Lupin asked. As he had no other choice Guido nodded in agreement. “Great! Let's go to the storage room before anyone sees us.”

Once they settled into the storage closet, the duo explained everything going on with Jigen to the disgraced winemaker from when they realized that Jigen drank the wine to the recent surprise with the exhibition tickets.

“Ah, I see. So that's happening again.” Guido said as he stroked his beard in thought.

“What do you mean?” Lupin asked.

“Well, during the time I took over the development of the love potion and would test it there were a few instances where the serum didn't have an aphrodisiac effect as I expected in some of the mice test subjects. Instead it affected them like a truth serum.” Guido explained.

“Truth serum?” Fujiko asked in shock.

“Yes. Instead of the mouse reacting in the usual amorous way as per the effects of the love potion it would respond similarly to how your gunman friend is with your swordsman. Doing little, affectionate gestures and spending more time with a certain other mouse than the rest.” Guido replied.

“Freaky. Why would that happen with some mice?” Lupin asked further.

“Well, based on what I could assess, because that mouse was already in love with the other mouse it looked at when it was chosen to do the test. And because of that the mouse who was subjected to the love potion wasn't going to react any differently when it already felt that way.” Guido explained.

“So because of that, the love potion becomes a truth serum to basically make the mouse show it's love to the other test subject mouse.” Fujiko surmised.

“Precisely. In short, based on what you've told me, your gunman was already in love with the swordsman and is merely confessing in a semi-unconscious way.” Guido said.

“Aww, that's so cute! In a weird, mad scientist sort of way. But if that's all that is I guess we don't have anything to worry about.” Lupin said with a smile.

“Well, I wouldn't say that.” The disgraced wine maker replied with a somber look.

“Beg pardon?” Lupin asked in concern.

“There's an adverse effect when the love potion becomes a truth serum. The chemicals migrate to the autonomic nervous system and become a toxin that slowly starts to erode it. This will result in all sorts of health complications relating to internal body processes. Digestive track failing, increased heart rate, low breathing rates, raised blood pressure and so on. Then before long the end result is...well you get the picture.” Guido explained.

“Okay, so not as cute anymore.” Lupin said in a worried voice.

“Damn it! What do we do then? It's been nearly two months since Jigen drank the wine!” Fujiko stated.

“Well the good thing is that the chemicals don't immediately start eroding the ANC, and it takes that long just to migrate to that part of the nervous system. So he's not in immediate danger.” Guido explained.

“But the danger is still there. What can we do to flush it out of Jigen's system?” Fujiko asked.

“You can't do anything externally. It has to be flushed out internally. And there's only one way to do that.” Said the disgraced wine maker.

“How then?” Lupin asked.

“I tested it out by placing one test subject who was similarly already in love with another mouse, and added in a mouse who fell under the typical aphrodisiac effect. Within a few minutes the truth serum toxin burned out as the primary test subject mouse was experiencing high levels of plasma testosterone and cortisol in his brain. He almost killed the other mouse for approaching the test subject he was in love with before I separated them.” Guido explained.

“Plasma testosterone and cortisol? Wait, those are...Oh God. So what you're telling us is that to make Jigen burn out the toxin himself...” Fujiko started.

“We gotta make him jealous.” Lupin finished with a tired out sigh as he hung his head in despair.

“I'm afraid that's the only way. And it's not enough to make him jealous over time. It has to be something that'll really get his blood boiling – as the toxin has to be burnt out instantly.” Guido stated.

There was a moment of silence in he storage room, as the couple tried to think of something. Suddenly Lupin stood up straight as a wide grin broke out across his face.

“I got an idea! Fujicakes, didn't Jigen say he was taking Goemon to dinner after the exhibit?” Lupin asked.

“Yeah he did. A posh one with a view of Genoa where the museum is, too. Why?” The cat burglar asked back.

“Because that's the perfect setting to get those high levels of plasma testosterone and cortisol Jigen needs to burn out that toxin. But if he gets as jealous as I think he will then him and Goemon owe me big time for this.” Lupin stated with a calculating grin.

And so, after ensuring that Guido would keep his mouth shut, the couple left the San Marino Penitentiary and went about getting an ice crusher for their night in with Jigen and Goemon. Said friends being none the wiser of their plan...

The next day Goemon was spending the early morning to prepare for his and Jigen's...Well, his romantic heart would love nothing more than to say 'date' but his rational mind reminded him that it's 'two friends hanging out'. That's all it was. And that is all it will ever be. Still, that doesn't mean the samurai can't put on the ritz and live in the moment. Hence why he was spent the last three hours fussing over every detail for his attire to make sure it all came together. Every accessory, article of clothing and even his hair had to look perfect – and at long last he succeeded.

“Excellent!” Goemon said with a bright smile as he looked at his outfit, then heard a knock at his room door.

“Hey, Goemon? The car taking us to the museum will be here in a few minutes.” Called the voice of Jigen on the other side of the door.

“Alright! I'll be right out.” Goemon called out as he started to put his clothes on.

From outside the door Jigen smiled and walked out to the living room of the safe house and checked himself over in the full length mirror to make sure that he was well put together. He even got a new fedora that was black with a dark silver ribbon around the crown to match his tie. Lupin and Fujiko, meanwhile, watched the gunman carefully as they waited to spring their plan into action. For now they pretended to be enjoying a day of staying in.

“Man, Jigen, you're really pulling out all the stops for Goemon-chan tonight. Even dinner at a restaurant with a city view! How'd you score reservations like that?” Lupin asked.

“Another pal of mine owed me one. I helped him get out from under a scum sucker who was padding the numbers on his debt to make it seem like he owed more when he paid it off. He's a historic preservationist and helps maintain the restaurant because it's in an old building so he knows the owner personally. Gave 'em a call and he asked the owner to give me and Goemon a seat with a view of the city.” Jigen replied as he polished his black Oxfords.

“Wow, who could have known our unassuming gunman was so well connected? I'd love to meet this inner circle of yours sometime, Jigen old friend.” Fujiko said.

“What!? But I'm just as well connected, Fujicakes! And I'm an all in one package.” Lupin said with a pout as he leaned against Fujiko who playfully shoved him off, making Jigen laugh at the display.

“Sorry Mine, but the folks I'm connected to are either married or had their fill of high maintenance chicks already.” Jigen said as he straightened his tie, ignoring Fujiko blowing a raspberry at him.

“Well maintained, Daisuke! Get it right!” Fujiko stated in playful anger.

“By the way, Jigen, what made you decide to take Goemon out to that exhibit? Spur of the moment type things aren't your style usually.” Lupin pointed out. While he and Fujiko won't be setting their plan into action until later – he had to see if he could get Jigen to confess himself.

“Huh? Well, I saw a poster about it while I was searching for restaurants that deliver and getting menus. Thought he'd like to go since it's a one-night thing. Just doing something nice for a friend.” Jigen replied as he fixed up his hat.

“That's true. Still...I gotta wonder why else you'd do it.” Lupin said in a hinting tone, and upon looking at the mirror to see Jigen's wide-eyed look of shock he knew he hit the nail on the head.

“What do you mean by that?” Jigen asked. He didn't look offended, or defensive. Rather he looked surprised. As if he himself only just now realized his actions up to this point held a deeper significance.

“Oh, nothing bad by it or anything! I just wonder if you may have another reason for doing this that you haven't acknowledged yet.” Lupin replied, looking at Jigen's shocked reflection with a more serious look of his own.

“Well, I...” Jigen started to explain before Goemon's voice interrupted them.

“Please excuse the wait, Jigen!” Goemon apologized as he walked in and the gunman immediately shifted his attention.

“It's alright Goemon. I was just touching up my....my....my, my, my.” Jigen trailed off in awe.

And as Fujiko and Lupin looked in the direction their friend was looking, their jaws likewise dropped in awe. Goemon looked utterly majestic. Like a prince from a Japanese fairy tale. A warm dove grey haori jacket with a white haori himo, an umber brown kimono, matching dove grey hakama pants, a crepe pink embroidered haneri around his neck, white tabi socks with Setta sandals and a crepe pink obi belt around his waist. Goemon even had his hair styled in a bun, which was kept in place by the hirauchi kanzashi that Jigen gave him not long ago.

“Wow, Goemon. You look so handsome.” Fujiko spoke in surprise.

“I'll say! You look like something out of a magazine.” Lupin added with an impressed whistle. The samurai nodded in appreciation to the two on the couch before turning to Jigen.

“What do you think, Jigen? I hope this looks good enough for tonight.” Goemon said, feeling excited but also nervous.

At first Jigen didn't say anything, and for a moment Goemon feared that his outfit didn't look good enough. Then the gunman strode over to him and took one of Goemon's hands into his as he spun him around – the samurai quickly following along with the unexpected twirl.

“I think you look sensational, angel face. And I hope tonight will make you feel the same way you look.” Jigen said with a smile, eyes shining with keen interest from under the brim of his hat as he stopped spinning the other man to get another look at him.

Goemon's entire face turned into a particularly vibrant shade of pink at the compliment, and he couldn't hold back the flattered smile that accompanied the blush. Meanwhile Fujiko and Lupin watched on with shocked and amused expressions. The cat burglar mouthed to her off/on boyfriend 'no comment' to which the master thief mouthed back 'too easy'.

“I'm sure that tonight will be quite memorable, Jigen.” Goemon said, proud of himself for not stuttering despite how stupidly head-over-heels he felt. From outside a car horn honked three times, signaling the pair that their ride had shown up.

“That's us. Don't wait up, you guys. We'll be back pretty late.” Jigen said as he and Goemon headed for the front door.

“Oh sure, no problem! You crazy kids have fun!” Lupin called out as he waved goodbye.

“Take pictures of the view from the restaurant if you can!” Fujiko called out as well.

“Farewell for now. You both enjoy your time together.” Goemon said with a wave to the couple as Jigen closed the door.

Once they were sure their friends were out of earshot the couple sprang up from the couch and peeked through the blinds covering the window to see outside. They could see the chauffeur bow respectfully to the couple and opened the back passenger door of a sleek Verde green Montreal tri-coat Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, letting Jigen and Goemon slide in before closing the door then getting into the driver's seat and driving off.

“Alright! We'll give them a twenty-minute head start, then follow them to Genoa. Did you get that stuff for my disguise?” Lupin asked.

“Yup! Got it all packed in your make-up case. But Lupin, are you sure this will work? Cesario said the jealousy has to be instant and really rile Jigen up.” Fujiko said in a concerned tone.

“Trust me, Fujicakes. If there's anything I do better than stealing, it's getting under Jigen's skin. He'll be seeing red before too long.” Lupin assured.

“Just promise me you'll have that Kevlar vest on. I don't want you leaking red if Jigen goes for his gun.” Fujiko said.

“Point taken. Okay, let's do a quick double check on all that we have and fill up the car for our unsuspecting rescue mission!” Lupin exclaimed in determination.

“Yes!” Fujiko cheered in equal determination.

Meanwhile, the hours seemed to go a bit slower for Goemon as he and Jigen made their journey to Genoa. Not that he minded. The drive allowed for them to talk. And while this was hardly their first conversation – something felt different. For some reason the atmosphere had a more intense yet blissful sense to it. Like he was in a truly perfect moment on a high wire. He was certain he knew why he felt that way...but he didn't dare think of the word. Be realistic, his rational mind reminded his romantic heart once again. Do not assume a situation to be something it isn't.

“But then...what is this situation, exactly?” Goemon asked himself in his thoughts as he looked down at his hands.

As he thought of it; Jigen has been sporadically making little gestures and saying things that weren't totally in character for him. At the time those moments happened the samurai was so caught off guard that he didn't put much thought into those gestures and the things his unrequited love said. Now that he thinks of it, however, Goemon has to wonder if Jigen has been acting this way because he's been feeling especially friendly or if...Or if...

“Goemon? Are you alright?” Jigen's voice asked, breaking Goemon from his thoughts as he whipped his head to look at the other man.

“Hm?! Oh, I do apologize Jigen. I was just...thinking.” Goemon replied, a bit uncertain.

“Yeah? What were you thinking about?” Jigen asked.

Goemon considered it for a moment. He really thought about telling the gunman what was on his mind. But he shook his head “no”. Now wasn't the time to ask that question. For now he just wanted to relish in the moment. And then, maybe at the time in which this wonderful night wound down to it's end, he could tell him.

“It's nothing worth mentioning right now. I'll tell you later at the restaurant. For now – let us enjoy ourselves.” Goemon said with a smile. Jigen seemed confused by the response but smiled back.

“Sure thing, if that's what you wanna do.” The gunman replied. The car suddenly, or maybe it was only sudden now as the time finally caught up to Goemon, came to a stop and the chauffeur exited the driver's seat then went around to open the passenger door. 

“Here we are, gentlemen. Villetta Di Negro Park. The museum is just a ways up the hill.” The chauffeur said as he bowed to the men and held the door open.

“Well Goemon, like you said, let's enjoy ourselves.” Jigen said as he raised his hat to show his full face, smiling and giving a playful wink as he held out his hand.

The samurai smiled back and nodded, accepting the hand and following Jigen out of the car. And once again the hours went by slowly as Goemon allowed himself to live in the moment. The architecture of the city itself was amazing, and the walk up the hill to the museum helped to build up the anticipation. The garden was so lush and beautiful – and the smell of the waterfalls was so refreshing. As they finally reached the building Goemon couldn't hold back the smile and the shine in his eyes. He was sure he made a small squeak of excitement that he would normally be ashamed to have done but tonight, he didn't care. He was happy to be at this event, and to have Jigen at his side with him. They started the tour seeing the regular display items – and both men marveled at the samurai armor, Buddhist statues, pottery and of course The Great Wave off Kanagawa. Then the tour shifted into the VIP portion and they got to see authentic scripts of kyōgen dramas from the 15^th Century, several elaborate costumes from onnagata style kabuki plays, bunraku puppets, a collection of Kido-zenis with a breakdown of the history of Yose and it's variants and many other displays that just left Goemon in awe to see up close. As the exhibition came to a close and everyone thanked the curator and guide the gunman was smiling widely at Goemon's happiness, even going as far as to hold his hand as they left the museum and walked back down the hill.

While the touch wasn't undesired – it reminded Goemon that he still had an important question to ask. A question that he needed an answer to if only to spare himself any potential heartache from making assumptions. Once they arrived at the restaurant, got seated and ate halfway through their meal the samurai decided that there was no better time than now.

“Jigen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about.” Goemon said as he sat down his fork.

“Hm? What is it, Goemon? Something wrong with your carbonara?” Jigen asked in concern.

“Oh no! It's quite delicious. Actually it's almost similar to Naporitan. But what I really wanted to talk about...was you.” Goemon spoke carefully.

“What? About me?” Jigen asked again, now confused.

“Yes. I have nothing bad to say, mind you. This whole night has been absolutely wonderful. It's just...I'm curious as to why you did this. Why you've been acting like you have for the past few months.” Goemon explained.

“Uh, sorry Goemon but I'm kind of lost. I mean – I don't think I'm acting any different.” Jigen said.

Goemon bit the inside of his cheek in worry, but fought the emotion down to continue. He had to know for sure.

“Jigen, you have been acting quite different. Like the time you called me 'angel face' and kissed my cheek at breakfast. Or how you gave me this hairpin from our last heist. Even this entire outing; an exhibition you knew that no one else in our group but I would fully appreciate and dinner at a scenic location. You even held my hand as we left the museum.” The samurai pointed out.

After he finished speaking, Goemon could see the change in Jigen's facial expression. He didn't look angry or even defensive. He seemed surprised. Almost like he was just now coming to the realization of what he's been doing lately. And even in spite that shock he didn't appear to be upset at the romantic implication his actions had. There was silence at the table for a moment, a very uncomfortable silence. It felt like it was going on forever when really it was barely a minute. Finally though Jigen broke the ice.

“I...I think I get what you mean, Goemon. I guess I have been acting different.” Jigen said, then he sat silently for a moment before shaking his head. “No. It's not different. At least, how I feel about you isn't any different.”

That made Goemon's eyes grow wide and blink in shock.

“How you...what?” Goemon asked slowly.

“Goemon...I realize now that I've been treating you differently. Or maybe deep down I kinda knew I was. But really, I feel the same way I've always felt about you when I did.” Jigen explained carefully.

“...What do you mean?” Goemon asked slowly. Dare he hope? Dare his romantic heart believe that Jigen was going to say what he wanted so badly to hear?

“I mean, you know. We've known each other a long time. We got a lot more in common than most people do. But I...I never really knew how to express it before. Lately though I, little by little, I have been expressing it. And...I just...I mean you're one of the few...It's not like I expect you to...But when it comes to you, I feel...” Jigen stopped and started different new sentences, trying to get out his point but was unable too before groaning and looking away as he pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “Damn it! I can't figure out how to say this.”

But Goemon knew. At least, he had a fairly good idea he knew what the gunman was trying to say. It made his heart swell with joy so much that his rational mind become equally romantic. Quickly though Goemon composed himself before he got too excited, since this was a sensitive moment, and looked at Jigen with a kind smile.

“It's alright, Jigen. Sometimes the words we want to say the most don't come out so easily. And in those times it's better to have people who can help you find the words than to struggle searching on your own.” Goemon replied, then reached out and laid his hand on top of Jigen's free hand. “And, if you're trying to say the words that I think you want to say, I'd be most honored to help you find them at your own pace. At a pace for us.”

Jigen looked up at the samurai with wide eyes, then looked down at their hands and back up at Goemon. Slowly but surely his stressed, annoyed face turned to happy as he smiled back and interlaced his fingers with Goemon's.

“Yeah. I think I'd like that, Goemon.” Jigen replied with a nod.

The two men gazed into each other's eyes, smiling and reveling in endearing atmosphere of their own little world. And they weren't sure who moved first but they realized they were starting to get closer to one another's faces. Suddenly though the sound of a woman clearing her throat made the men snap back to reality and lean back to look at their waitress who bowed politely to them. You could tell how long she was standing there, given the embarrassed pink shade on her cheeks.

“Pardon me, Signore Daisuke, but there's a phone call for you. It sounds urgent.” The waitress said.

“Really? I wasn't expecting any calls.” Jigen said in pondering.

“Go answer it. Perhaps it's Lupin and he needs some saving.” Goemon said.

“Tch! If he called me on our date for that I'll tell Pops he can keep 'em.” Jigen replied with a scoff which made Goemon laugh before he looked down at their still interlaced hands.

“Our date...I thought I was getting my hopes up assuming that's what this was.” Goemon replied as he squeezed the gunman's hand. And he was delighted that Jigen gave a squeeze back.

“You're not. This is very much a date. And...I hope it's not the last one.” Jigen said, smiling that charming crooked smile from under his hat before he gave a wink. “I'll be back, angel face.”

And off Jigen went to answer the phone call. Goemon watched after the other man and smiled brightly, poking at his carbonara and shaping the pasta meal into a heart. The waitress, who was still there, then sat down two plates of tiramisu.

“Here you are, Signore Ishikawa.” The waitress said as she bowed again.

“Hm? I don't recall either of us ordering dessert yet.” Goemon said as he looked at the coffee and mascarpone cream treat. The waitress giggled and shook her head.

“No, Signore. It's a compliment of the restaurant. The boss has a soft spot for first dates. And from the way you and that handsome fellow were looking at each other; I hope that you'll both become regulars here.” The young woman said. Goemon blushed but smiled regardless.

“Thank you very much, miss. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to coming here again.” Goemon replied.

“How about I take you some place better, bellissimo? Like my penthouse?” Asked a new voice from behind Goemon, making him and the waitress turn around in surprise.

Meanwhile, Jigen was directed by the busboy to where the telephone was so that he could answer the call that was so urgent. The young man handed him the phone before bowing and leaving the small space so Jigen could answer it privately.

“Hello?” The gunman asked.

“Greetings. Is this Daisuke Jigen?” Asked a nasally sounding voice.

“Depends. Are you out to kill me?” Jigen asked in a bored tone.

“Not quite. Just wanted to say...you really should keep a better eye out for your loved ones. They may get taken.” The nasally voiced replied cryptically.

“Huh? What's that supposed to mean?” Jigen asked sharply, now standing rigidly.

“Goodbye, lover boy.” The nasally voice said as it laughed in a creepy tone before hanging up.

“Hey, hold on!” Jigen yelled. But it was already too late since the mystery caller hung up so Jigen just gave an annoyed huff and set the phone back on the receiver. “What a weirdo.”

“Signore Daisuke! Signore!” Called out a sudden panicked voice and Jigen whipped around to see it was his and Goemon's waitress running towards him.

“Huh? What's the matter, miss?” Jigen asked in confusion but also felt an underlining sense of concern.

“I-It's Signore Ishikawa! We were talking a bit after you left, then all of a sudden this...this muscle-bound bastardo came up and started harassing him! He won't go away even after I called my boss over!” The waitress explained rapidly, each word making Jigen's face turn from shocked to angry.

“What!?” Jigen asked in outrage as he stomped back to where he and Goemon sat, the waitress following him close behind.

Just as they left Fujiko peaked out of the lady's restroom and watched the angry gunman storm off.

“Sorry, lover boy, but this is really for your own good. Now it's all in your hands, Lupin. I better warm up the car for our get away. And get the first aid kit ready.” Fujiko said as she slipped out of the restaurant.

Meanwhile, Jigen had returned to his and Goemon's scenic seat at the window to see a few patrons had gathered and was looking upon the scene that was unfolding. And once he got a good look – he saw that it was a lot worse than what the waitress had described. Goemon was up from his seat, standing defensively while holding firmly onto his sword. And holding onto his other arm was, in fact, a muscle-bound bastard who was kneeling before the samurai. The guy looked like some trust fund villain from an 80's cop show who used his family's shipping empire to smuggle drugs. He even had the cheesy all-white suit and had his jacket open to show off his unshaven chest. If this was any other situation, Jigen would have laughed because the brown chest chairs didn't even match the obviously dyed short blonde hair. But this wasn't just any situation. This creep was hitting on Goemon.

Little did Jigen or Goemon know, however, that the creep was really Lupin in disguise. Since the only way to burn the Lovesick Pig potion out of Jigen was to get him jealous Lupin figured the best way to go was to disguise himself as a potential rival looking to steal away his samurai. It was quite a risk, as Lupin doesn't know how Jigen would react if he was genuinely jealous. But he had to take a chance.

“I swear, these guys better not say I never did anything for them.” Lupin thought in anxiousness as he tried to maintain his shameless Casanova act.

“For the last time, sir, I am not interested! I respectfully ask that you let go of me.” Goemon stated as he tugged the arm the sleazy looking guy was holding onto. He could easily kill this man, but he didn't want to make a bigger scene and ruin his and Jigen's date.

“But bellissimo, I can give you greater luxury than what that crusty old man has. This restaurant? Pishaw! I'll buy you a restaurant of your very own. Just come away with me.” Lupin spoke in his over-exaggerated Italian accent as he kissed the back of Goemon's hand.

But just as soon as he started, he was yanked away and forced to stand on his feet, then was turned around to face a very angry looking best friend of his.

“And just what the hell do you think you're doing, gigolo?” Jigen asked. Inwardly Lupin winced, but he couldn't stop.

“Hey, don't be so harsh amico. I'm doing you a favor by taking this sexy creature off your hands. Now you can go retire early and take out your dentures.” Lupin said as he patronizingly patted Jigen on the shoulder. As soon as he got in a second pat, however, the other man grabbed his wrist and twisted it very hard behind his back. “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!”

“Listen here, asshole.” Jigen whispered dangerously as he began talking, sending chills down Lupin's spine. “I've killed people like you, and people worse than you, for a hell of a lot less. And I can think of many, many different ugly things I can do to you for being so stupid as to try and go after MY samurai. But the only reason I'm sparing you is because I'm in a good mood. So unless you want me to send you off to visit ol' Jimmy Hoffa – walk away.”

And with that Jigen shoved the disguised thief away from their table before going over to check on Goemon, who was relieved that he had returned. The maître d then hurried over to Jigen and Goemon and bowed deeply in respect to them.

“Forgive me, signores! I assure you we don't make a habit of allowing unruly patrons in this restaurant. Please accept a bottle of our finest champagne as a meager token of apology. Boys, get this waste of space out of here! Subito!” The maître d said as he violently gestured to the disguised thief, and right away two busboys grabbed a hold of each of his arms.

“Come on, bastardo, let's go.” Said one of the busboys as they dragged Lupin off.

No, he couldn't leave now! He wasn't sure if that was enough to make Jigen really jealous. There was only one other way to ensure it. But if Jigen reacted like that from just some cornball pick-up lines...he hoped to God he didn't have to use the Kevlar vest under this fake hairy chest.

“Please forgive me, Goemon-chan, but Jigen's life is on the line!” Lupin thought to himself determinedly as he slipped out of the hold of the busboys and ran over to Goemon.

“Hey, get back here!” The second busboy yelled.

“Signore Ishikawa!” The waitress yelled in warning.

It all happened too fast for anyone to stop anything. Lupin grabbed Goemon's arm, pulled him away from Jigen, grabbed onto his rear end and the back of his neck and kissed him. Right on the lips. The whole scene unfolded in a matter of ten or seconds. But for Lupin, Jigen and Goemon it felt like it was going on for ten minutes. Goemon reacted first, pulling away from the disguised thief once he got over the shock and punching him right in the stomach. Lupin immediately buckled to his knees in pain, groaning in agony and wondering what knock-off dollar store brand this Kevlar vest came from so he could remember to complain.

“Kuso!” Goemon cursed as he spat out the horrid taste in his mouth while the waitress immediately went over to make sure the samurai was alright.

Lupin weakly turned around to see if that did the trick to make Jigen jealous...and judging by the look of unadulterated rage on his face, it worked alright. It worked too well. Before Lupin could even utter a peep he was grabbed by the collar of his jacket and brought up to face the furious gunman. He was so mad his long and rough hair was standing on end.

“Big. Mistake.” Jigen stated sharply before winding his fist back and punching Lupin square in the face, making him fall right into one of the chairs and falling over from pain. The few onlookers and waitstaff gasped in shock while Goemon rushed over to hold onto Jigen to keep him from fighting.

“H-Heh, heh, heh. I-Is that the best you got, amico?” Lupin asked weakly, trying to look confident with his disguise despite crying on the inside from the sheer pain his stomach and right eye felt.

“Nevermind my best, asshole! It's my worst you should be worried about! And I'll rain hell on you for trying to take the man that I love!” Jigen yelled.

And there it was. The space by the window went totally still from shocked silence. So much so that you could hear patrons who were unaffected by the commotion still eating and chatting. But none were more shocked than Goemon. The samurai moved to stand in front of Jigen and looked at him.

“Jigen...what did you just say?” Goemon asked. The gunman panted as he came down from his adrenaline rush, before composing himself and clearing his throat as he looked at Goemon.

“I said...the man that I...love. And I mean you, Goemon. I love you.” Jigen said, slowly but with no hesitation. And when he said it he felt a freeing emotion. Like a chain that held down his soul finally broke off.

“That's what I thought you said.” Goemon replied with a smile, then leaned in to kiss the gunman gently on the lips as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Jigen wasted no time returning the kiss as he hugged Goemon's waist and pulled him closer. The patrons and waitstaff watching this all voiced their congratulations, a few even clapping, and the maitre d was even struggling to hold back tears of joy as he wiped at his eyes.

“What a beautiful couple.” The maitre d sniffled, then turned to the disguised thief with a look of disgust as he rolled up his sleeves. “Parassiti! I'll get rid of you myself!”

“Oh man...” Lupin groaned under his breath as he was once again grabbed by the collar and dragged off, the people who saw the display booing at him and calling him some very unpleasant names in Italian. He couldn't help but sell his performance with one last act. “I'll see you around, bellissimo!”

He couldn't help but laugh when Jigen and Goemon both gave him the bird, even while they were still kissing.

Outside, Fujiko sat in the car she and Lupin drove in a few feet down the street from the restaurant and was starting to get worried for her off/on boyfriend.

“I was just kidding when I told Lupin to wear that Kevlar. But I hope Jigen didn't actually make him use it. Then again I don't hear any gunshots.” Fujiko said. However, she did hear a distinct angry shout.

“Begone, bastardo, and don't you ever come back again!” Yelled the voice of an older Italian man.

The cat burglar looked up just in time to see Lupin, still in his disguise, scream as he was tossed out from the entrance of the restaurant and land right on the sidewalk with a hard thud. The older man nodded triumphantly at his work and dusted off his hands as he walked back inside. Fujiko got out of the car and briskly walked over to the master thief to check on him.

“So shall I assume this is the result of a job well done, or did you make a pass at someone besides our target and got thrown out for that?” Fujiko asked.

“If I did, I think they'd be way nicer than Jigen was and wouldn't hit me as hard.” Lupin said in a pained voice, tearing off his mask and showing the bruise that was starting to form on his right eye.

“The scars of victory, lover. Let's get you out of here before Goemon decides he wants your skin and Jigen delivers.” Fujiko said as she helped the master thief up and took him back to the car.

Later on, Jigen apologized to the staff and the patrons for his display with the creep. He even tipped their waitress very well to make-up for what she went through. But everyone was very understanding and didn't blame him for his reaction. The other couples who watched the whole scene from beginning to end even said how romantic it was that Jigen stood up for his lover. This made both men blush as well as smile in joy. After they finally got to enjoy their tiramisu and paid their bill Goemon suggested they should spend the night in Genoa at a hotel and take a train back to San Marino in the morning. In addition to being tired from that unexpected turn of events he wanted to make the most of their first night together as a couple. A request that Jigen was more than happy to fulfill.

By the late morning, the gunman and the samurai arrived at the safe house to greet their fellow criminals and friends. But the aura between them was a lot closer and lovey-dovey.

“Wow, you two sure look like a pair of high school sweethearts. Something good happen last night?” Fujiko asked from the table as she looked up from her magazine.

“Well, since you mention it, yeah. To put it plainly you two aren't the only couple of the group anymore.” Jigen said as he wrapped an arm around Goemon's shoulders, and the other man leaned into his touch.

“Seriously? Congratulations!” Fujiko cheered happily. She figured that's what happened based on what Lupin described from the scene inside the restaurant. But she was still genuinely happy for the two.

“Thank you, Fujiko. And Jigen confessed in quite a passionate way – defending my honor when an impetuous cretin was harassing me and wouldn't take a hint. But we dealt with him, soundly.” Goemon explained.

“Oh, I'm sure you did Goemon! A nice punch to the gut and one to the face usually do the trick.” Lupin said from where he laid on the couch.

“Wait a minute Lupin, how'd you know where Goemon and me punched the creep?” Jigen asked in surprised confusion.

At this Lupin sat up from the couch to show the pack of ice he was holding to his dark purple shiner.

“Would you believe a lucky guess?” Lupin asked sarcastically.

Both men were shocked, and as they quickly put two and two together the cat burglar and master thief filled in the gaps. Namely with explaining the lethal truth serum effects the Lovesick Pig had on Jigen. By the time everything was cleared up Goemon let out a hum of realization.

“It would seem that we owe you our thanks, Lupin, both for bringing us together and for saving Jigen's life.” Goemon said with smile.

“Yeah, and I'm sorry about the shiner boss.” Jigen said awkwardly.

“Eh, don't worry about it. You're not the first pissed off boyfriend who's ever decked me, Gigi! And you won't be the last.” Lupin replied with a grin.

“But if there is one lesson that we can all take away from this ordeal, though.” Goemon said.

“What's that?” Fujiko asked.

“That when it comes to wine, Fujiko, I think it's better that you leave that to Lupin or Jigen while you get the glasses.” Goemon said with a grin.

“I'll second that.” Jigen stated with a nod.

“Motion carries! And as punishment for her involvement in the events that led to me having this black eye and almost hollowed out stomach, I hereby sentence Fujiko Mine to three weeks of playing nurse to make me feel better.” Lupin said as he leaped over to kiss the cat burglar only to be smacked in the face with her rolled up magazine.

“Try and enforce that sentence, lover, and I'll give you another black eye to match.” Fujiko replied with an unimpressed look as she unrolled her magazine and continued from where she left off.

“Sheesh. I guess no good deed does go unpunished.” Lupin groaned as he chuckled weakly.

Goemon and Jigen rolled their eyes at the display but smiled at one another as they went to sit down on the couch whilst holding hands and watched TV. Although theirs was far from a typical love story - they couldn't ask for a more perfect happy ending.