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“Here we are,” Miko announces, throwing her arms wide. “Welcome to the launch festival for ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’”
Kokomi looks around curiously, doing her best to ignore Ei beside her. Why Ei had thought it was a good idea to come to this festival with her Kokomi plush cradled in her cleavage and her Miko plush on her head is beyond her, though Miko’s enthusiastic encouragement of the choice had been no surprise.
“You really went all out for this one,” Ei says.
“Naturally,” Miko boasts. “What else would you expect?”
Kokomi eyes her dubiously. She strongly suspects it’s Miko’s employees who did all of the work, but she does have to admit that they did a good job. Half of Hanamizaka’s central park has been partially turned into a remarkable fascimile of Watatsumi Island, with decorations evoking the plants and scenery of Kokomi’s home. The other half, on the hand, has more traditional Narukami decorations — and where the halves meet, the decorations mingle together.
“It looks really nice,” Kokomi admits. “I like it. What kind of events do you have set up?”
“Those stalls over there are selling ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’” Miko says, pointing. Kokomi cringes at the way Miko always insists on saying the full title, and the way the fox smiles tells Kokomi she’s very much enjoying Kokomi’s embarrassment. “Anyone who buys a copy will get a random plush, and if they buy three copies they’ll be given a complete set.”
Kokomi pinches the bridge of her nose. With things being set up like that, absolutely everyone who attends will be buying three copies, something she’s sure Miko has prepared for. It’s an absolutely ridiculous marketing ploy, one clearly designed to ensure the light novel climbs the ranks of the nation’s bestsellers in a single day… exactly the sort of thing Kokomi expects from her ridiculous, cunning wife.
“If we could focus on events that aren’t just schemes, please?” Kokomi says, unable to help the fond smile tugging at her lips despite her exasperation.
Really, she wouldn’t have Miko any other way.
“We’ve arranged for a wide variety of food to be available,” Miko says, gesturing casually at the many food stalls dotting the area. “And we brought in craftsfolk from both Watatsumi Island and Hanamizaka to sell their wares, including some merchandise they’ve made based on ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’”
“I’ll definitely want to browse some of that,” Ei muses, smiling.
“There are also a number of stalls at which visitors will be able to learn about how to make some traditional items for themselves,” Miko continues smoothly. “And we’ve arranged for some friendly spars between members of the Shogunate and Watatsumi armies — paired spars, that is, where they’ll be working together with a soldier from the other army against a similar pair. Additionally—”
“Wait,” Kokomi interrupts, holding up her hand. “How did you arrange that one without going through me?”
Miko just smiles, and Kokomi sighs. It seems her generals remain as easy for the kitsune to push around as ever… though honestly, if Miko had asked her about this she would have approved it anyway, and they likely knew that. Miko doing an end run around her authority grates a little, but she can already guess why her wife had chosen to do it.
“This isn’t just a launch festival for a new light novel,” Kokomi accuses softly. “This is a celebration of Narukami-Watatsumi unity, and a push for closer friendship between our people.”
“I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Miko says, shrugging elegantly. “This is the launch festival for ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are—’”
Kokomi cuts Miko off by grabbing her collar and pulling her down into a kiss.
“Thank you,” she murmurs against her wife’s lips. “This means a lot to me.”
Even the light novel, ridiculous title and all, was clearly written in service to this goal. A comedy emphasizing love and unity between Narukami and Watasumi through the relationship of the Divine Priestess of Watatsumi Island and the rulers of Narukami, and one Miko is scheming to make famous… Kokomi isn’t sure why she didn’t see it before.
…Embarrassment, probably. Miko is very, very good at using that to keep people off-balance so that they miss things that might otherwise have been obvious, and Kokomi tends to fall for that trap every time.
With this new context, though… Kokomi eyes Ei, considering how silly she looks with the plushies she’s wearing, then scans the crowd that’s already filling the festival venue. She recognizes more than a few people from Watatsumi Island.
Ei is receiving a lot of surprised double-takes when people spot them standing here, reactions that are being followed up with smiles and rapid chatter.
Kokomi looks at Miko again, and the far-too-innocent look her wife gives her in response tells Kokomi everything she needed to know: Miko planned all of this.
“All right, let’s enjoy the festival,” Kokomi sighs. “I’m a little hungry, so let’s start by getting some food.”
She grabs Ei and Miko by the hands and half-drags them behind her as she stomps off towards the Watatsumi-decorated side. It’s no doubt obvious to Miko that Kokomi has completely come around on this whole thing, but that doesn’t mean Kokomi has to admit it.
Ei trades a smile with Miko as they let their cute little fish pull them along.
She thinks the festival is a wonderful idea. She and Kokomi have been working hard to bridge the gap between their people, and things are definitely much better than they were in the past, but there’s still some friction.
This, a lighthearted celebration of the culture of both parts of Inazuma and the marriage between its rulers, is exactly what they need. It’s a sample of the future she wants to see.
She’s broken out of her thoughts by Kokomi releasing her, and a moment later she finds a bowl being shoved into her hands.
“What’s this?” Ei asks, inspecting it.
The food cultures of Narukami and Watatsumi have become so tightly mingled over the years that she’s familiar with most of the dishes she’d be likely to encounter, and this looks like some form of unagi chazuke, but every region in Inazuma likes to put its own little spin on things. For all she knows it goes by a very different name on Watatsumi Island.
“Bourou-style unagi chazuke,” Kokomi says. “It’s… sweeter than normal for the Narukami version of the dish. You’ll like it.”
Ei perks up and happily takes a bite while Kokomi gives Miko whatever food she’d picked for her.
Kokomi is right — it is quite sweet, in a way that adds to the overall flavor of the dish. It’s not a sweetness at the level of a dessert, but she likes it a lot.
“It’s good!” Ei says.
“Told you,” Kokomi says, smiling at Ei from behind the skewer she’s eating. “And yours, Miko?”
“Very good,” Miko agrees.
“Can we go watch the spars while we eat?” Ei asks eagerly.
She very much wants to see those. Not just to gauge the level of martial ability of the soldiers (though she’s very curious about that), but to see how well they’re able to cooperate with their counterparts. Even though the civil war ended more than six years ago, she knows from personal experience that the scars of such things linger deeply within those who lived them. Knowing Miko, she’ll have arranged for the soldiers participating in the demonstration to all be people who fought in it, and many of them will likely be selected from those who had participated in the exchange programs Ei and Kokomi have been running.
Have they overcome that pain and become able to work together, or will it overwhelm them and cause them to hinder their own allies? Ei has to know.
“They should be running for most of the day, so I don’t see why not,” Miko agrees, a knowing look in her eyes.
“Which way are they?” Kokomi asks, looking around.
“They should be set up out by the path to Byakko Plain,” Miko says. “We needed a great deal of space for them, after all.”
“That makes sense,” Ei agrees, following as Miko leads the way. “We wouldn’t want the audience getting hurt.”
“…What kind of spars are these, Miko?” Kokomi asks. “Is the audience getting hurt likely? What about the soldiers? Are they in any danger?”
“Practice weapons only,” Miko says, gently squeezing Kokomi’s shoulder. “A scoring system is in place, and we have Sara and Rikka supervising. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Ei nods thoughtfully. It’s a sensible way to do it, and with such reliable generals in charge it’s unlikely anything will go horribly wrong.
“Just supervising?” Kokomi asks, raising an eyebrow.
“The spars are set up as half-exhibition match, half-tournament,” Miko explains. “Throughout the day each pair will spar against each other pair, and at the end the pair with the most wins will get to spar against Sara and Rikka. If there’s a tie, they’ll all get to team up against them.”
“I don’t think they’d have a chance even if all of them were tied,” Kokomi mumbles.
Ei can’t help but agree — either of the generals alone is a match for a rather large number of ordinary soldiers, let alone both working together.
“It’s more fair than you think,” Miko says, the smile on her lips telling Ei that they won’t be getting anything else out of her on the subject.
They slip into the audience around the sparring ring, and Ei continues to enjoy her chazuke as she watches the fights.
None of the soldiers seem to have Visions, she notices. These spars are matches of ordinary skill, not magical ability… which is probably for the best, given the increased risk of injury the use of elemental power carries even when one is careful.
None of the soldiers seem to be anything special in terms of their fighting skills, but…
“…They’re working together really well,” Kokomi murmurs, smiling.
“They are,” Ei agrees.
There’s no sign of hesitation between the partners. The trust they seem to have in each other to cover them seems as absolute as it would be if they were really part of the same army.
“Back during the preliminary negotiations, I told Sara it was too early to consider combining the Watatsumi forces with the Shogunate’s army,” Kokomi says softly. “…I think times have changed.”
Ei’s breath catches in her throat.
She herself has never given all that much thought to the idea of truly merging the armies — if it makes the people of Watatsumi Island feel more secure to have their own army, she’s more than happy to let them, especially since she’s certainly not planning to do anything that will set her in conflict with them again.
If Kokomi thinks that’s something they can and should do, though… that changes things. Even if the merge is mostly in name only and really just means that in an emergency the Shogunate can call on them for aid, from a propaganda standpoint it could do a lot to emphasize the greater closeness that Narukami and Watatsumi now have.
“Something for us to talk about at work tomorrow, then,” Ei mumbles, and Kokomi nods.
“Come along, you two,” Miko says. “We’ve spent enough time here, and it’s almost time for the sparring to have a break for the main event.”
“…The main event?” Ei asks.
Miko turns back and smiles.
“The dramatic reading, of course,” she says.
Miko smiles as a crowd begins to gather around the table she’d had set up. She’s been looking forward to this ever since she came up with the idea of the festival.
“So this is ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’” Ei muses, flipping open the copy of the light novel that had been prepared for her. “The author is… oh my.”
Miko’s smile turns into a smirk at Ei’s giggles and Kokomi’s groan.
“You asked Lumine to write this?” Kokomi asks. “Really?”
“She did a wonderful job,” Miko says.
“That’s not what I was worried about,” Kokomi mutters.
Miko chuckles. Lumine’s eccentricities are exactly why she had asked the Traveler to write it. She’s not sure anybody else could have produced a work quite like it.
“So, which part will we be reading?” Kokomi asks, the dread in her voice music to Miko’s ears.
“Turn to page one hundred and sixty-four,” Miko instructs. “We’ll be starting there.”
She watches with anticipation as Ei and Kokomi do as instructed, and their reactions don’t disappoint her at all.
Ei bursts out laughing, her musical giggles a delight to Miko’s ears. Kokomi, on the other hand, whimpers and slumps in her chair as her cheeks glow with a blush so bright that it could probably be used to find one’s way at night.
“Miko!” Kokomi whines. “Really?”
“I did say it would be ‘when’ people laugh at us,” Miko reminds her, smirking.
“You did,” Kokomi sighs. “You did… You’re lucky I love you so much.”
“It’s a good scene,” Ei says brightly. “This will be fun!”
“Both of my beautiful wives are so mean,” Kokomi mumbles, pouting. “What did I do to deserve this…”
Miko laughs and presses a kiss to the top of her silly fish’s head, then smiles out at the audience again. It’s time to begin the show, so she gives a nod to Onodera, who promptly shoves Lumine out of the crowd and into focus.
“Oh, are we starting?” Lumine asks, blinking. “Okay. Hey everyone! I’m Lumine, the author of ‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’ I’ve got some assistants — who the characters in the novel are definitely not based on in any way — here to do a reading of a scene from the story for you! Let me introduce them.”
Lumine gestures dramatically at the table where Ei, Kokomi, and Miko are sitting.
“Here with us today are Ei, who will be playing the role of the Raiden Shogun, Miko, who will be playing the role of Guuji Yae, and Kokomi, who will be playing the role of the Divine Priestess of Watatsumi Island,” Lumine says. “Any resemblance they may have to the real things is just a coincidence… or my lawyer back in Liyue told me to say that, anyway, and after that whole mess with the exploding cows I’ve learned to listen to her.”
Miko gives the crowd a little wave, her smile deepening as Kokomi releases another groan.
“I’m pretty sure there was something else I was supposed to say, but I forgot what it was,” Lumine admits, shrugging. “So… enjoy the show?”
“You’re supposed to be the narrator!” Onodera calls.
“Oh, right, right!” Lumine laughs. “That’s what it was… Okay, let’s begin then.”
Lumine steps to the side to avoid blocking the audience’s view of the table, then looks down at the copy of the light novel that she’s holding.
“The room is silent, the air heavy with regret,” Lumine reads. “Shinkai feels like it’s choking her — after everything that’s happened… is this to be the end?”
“Goodbye,” Kokomi stage whispers. “Thank you for everything.”
“She doesn’t want to leave,” Lumine says. “Her feet are heavy enough that they seem to be refusing her commands, but she forces them to move towards the door anyway.”
“Please, Shinkai,” Ei begs almost convincingly. “Don’t go. I can’t live without you.”
“Shinkai makes the mistake of looking back,” Lumine narrates. “Tears flow down Kage’s cheeks, and the sight makes her heart clench. She wants nothing more than to rush to her side and wipe them away.”
“You’ve become far too dear to us,” Miko adds gently. “Letting things end like this would be too cruel.”
“Masako isn’t crying,” Lumine says. “Shinkai doesn’t think she’s ever seen her cry. Her eyes, though, are sadder than Shinkai had thought they were capable of being.”
“…Kage, Masako,” Kokomi says. “I can’t, you know that. I have a duty to my people… and you do, too. We need to prove to them that their fears are unfounded, and we can’t do that if we stay together.”
“The words burn her tongue,” Lumine says. “They’re what she has to say, not what she wants to say. Now that their relationship has been exposed to the eyes of the people, now that tensions are rising as the people of Narukami and Watatsumi alike accuse each other of their leaders having bewitched each other… the only thing they can do to prove that they’re still themselves is separate.”
“If this is what you really want, I’ll accept it,” Ei says softly. “But if this is just about duty, then I refuse. There has to be another way.”
“Shinkai flinches,” Lumine says. “Kage’s stubbornness is legendary, and Shinkai knows she can’t lie convincingly enough to convince her lover that this is what she really wants.”
“I think the solution is obvious,” Miko says, smiling. “We should simply be as public as we can about things.”
“Shinkai has no idea what to think of the proposal,” Lumine says. “She can’t see how it would solve the problem — if anything, she thinks it would make it worse.”
“…Why?” Ei asks.
“Think about it,” Miko says. “Right now, the people believe that either Shinkai has enchanted us, or we’ve enchanted her, in order to gain full control over Inazuma. If we were to show them that we’re all disgustingly in love, that narrative would fall apart, especially as that control never manifests.”
“…It’s a sound plan,” Lumine says. “Shinkai turns it over in her mind, and she can’t actually come up with any reason it wouldn’t work. Its only potential flaw is that it will take time, and that’s something she thinks should be more than manageable.”
“…Let’s do it,” Kokomi says.
“She begins to walk back towards Kage and Masako, but when they open their arms invitingly the walk turns into a run,” Lumine says. “Unfortunately, she trips over the corner of the rug, and rather than crash enthusiastically into their arms she finds her face landing squarely between Kage’s breasts.”
Miko smiles as Ei thrusts out her chest and pats the head of the Kokomi plush she’s been carrying there. The audience bursts out laughing as Kokomi lets out one of the most entertaining noises of despair Miko has ever heard from her, and Miko joins in the audience’s laughter.
The rest of the reading had been something of a blur to Kokomi, but she has to admit… as embarrassing as it was, she’d had fun. After the reading they had enjoyed shopping at the stalls and mingling with the people, and now that the sun is setting, Kokomi is exhausted but satisfied.
“Thank you for today,” Kokomi murmurs, leaning against Miko’s side.
“It was great!” Ei agrees.
“It’s not quite over yet,” Miko murmurs, wrapping an arm around each of them.
Kokomi lets Miko guide her to a bench with a clear view of the night sky, snuggling more closely against her wife once they’re sitting.
“Soon,” Miko murmurs.
Kokomi waits, trusting Miko to have a point to this, and before long fireworks begin to rise in the sky. They’re impossibly beautiful, and Kokomi knows they must be Yoimiya’s work even before the first few floral patterns make way for gorgeous sky-tapestries of scenes from the legends of both Narukami and Watatsumi.
Included among them are also scenes that won’t be found in any legend — the Raiden Shogun playing cards with Orobashi, a little purple fox perched on her head; the purple fox and a tiny Orobashi chasing loaches together; the Raiden Shogun gifting the Everlasting Moonglow to the Divine Priestess…
It’s a celebration of history and unity in a way that nobody but a Naganohara could have created, Kokomi thinks sleepily.
“Yoimiya has outdone herself once again,” Ei murmurs.
“She has,” Kokomi yawns.
If it weren’t for the booming of the fireworks, she thinks she’d have already fallen asleep. As it is, the noise keeps her just barely aware enough to enjoy the show.
“I didn’t know the details of her plans for tonight,” Miko sighs. “…I’ll have to ensure Onodera gives her a large bonus, I’m very certain we didn’t pay her enough for this.”
Kokomi nods against Miko’s shoulder.
The last of the fireworks finally fade, and Kokomi smiles as her eyes slip shut.
‘I’m Just A Cute Little Fish Priestess, But The Raiden Shogun And Lady Guuji Are After My Heart!’, is it…
“You two already have my heart,” Kokomi whispers as her consciousness fades. “Idiots.”