Work Text:
After all of the years Damien has spent streaming on Twitch and committing to his twice a week schedule on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it is inevitable that he is going to have to cancel streams here and there. Sometimes things come up in Damien's personal life or he gets sick and he is forced to postpone. At the end of the day, that's life.
It has been a long couple of days for Damien. This week is a shoot week at Smosh. He is busy editing files for a remove voiceover project and planning photoshoots for an upcoming merchandise drop he hasn't released yet in the times when he is not actively filming a video. Damien was able to make it to his Tuesday stream although in hindsight, he should have quit while he was ahead and taken this entire week off of streaming. The only reason he tries to hold out for as long as possible is because he thrives on having structure. Missing a stream might not seem like a big deal to his fans who are always the most supportive and understanding people, but it is a hard adjustment for Damien to make. He wishes he wasn't so affected by spontaneity, or at the very least there was something he could do about it. No amount of medicine or therapy has been able to settle this part of Damien's brain; he has resigned himself to this life of strict timekeeping now.
Damien sits at his desk with his head in his hands. He sighs, looking at the time on his PC through his fingers like a pair of blinds. It is 6:40pm, ten minutes past when he was scheduled to begin. This is normally the point where Damien would send out a frantic Tweet apologizing, begging for forgiveness from people who he doesn't need to be forgiven by because they were never upset with him in the first place, except he doesn't have the courage.
It is stupid really, for Damien to be so worked up about sending a fucking Tweet. He fully rests elbows on the desk in front of him and settles his head into the crook of his elbow. He sighs in exasperation, starting a cycle of square breathing to help calm his nerves before he reaches the point of no return.
Suddenly, Damien feels a pair of hands on his shoulders. He flinches at the touch, shooting up from his balled up position. He turns around to see Angela behind him, her calm and welcoming face settling the fear instilled in him at the touch. They lock gazes, Angela's mouth dropping at the sight of tears pricking behind Damien's eyes.
"What's wrong, Dames?" Angela asks. Her voice is flooded with concern and it makes Damien feel even worse. He hates that he is always putting Angela through emotional turmoil and making her feel obligated to take care of him like this. Nobody should have to, Damien is a grown adult, after all.
Damien attempts a smile, "I'm okay, it's nothing."
Angela squints, reading right through Damien's facade. To be fair, it doesn't take a genius to tell that he is hiding something. People don't normally sit at their work desk crying, but Damien digresses, too tired to argue with his brain any longer.
“How about this, why don’t I make you some of your favorite tea and we can talk. Is that okay?” Angela suggests, rubbing a hand on Damien's back in a circular motion. Damien nods, wanting to hate how effortlessly Angela falls into the motherly role when he is having an off day like this. Amanda has some competition, that’s for sure.
Angela slides out of the room and pads towards Damien's kitchen where she begins to brew the kettle for his favorite organic chamomile whole flower variant of the drink. Angela hates the smell and much prefers coffee, but she knows how caffeine negatively affects Damien with the medications he is on, so she is more than willing to take one for the team if it means comforting him.
Damien moves into the living room, deciding that it is better than sulking in his office all evening. He also leaves his phone on his desk to physically distance himself from what is stressing him out for a little while. One of the first things Damien was taught in therapy is to change the scenery when he is feeling particularly overwhelmed, and it is rather effective.
Damien's cats instantly flock to him like they know something is wrong. Freyja sits on the far end of the couch away from Damien in her own little bubble, stretching out as far as her limbs can, while Zelda opts for taking residence on his lap. Zelda curls up in a ball and nuzzles her head into the soft fabric of the oversized sweater Damien is wearing, letting him run a loose hand through her black and white fur. She purrs at the sensation, a genuine smiling spreading itself across Damien's face for the first time all night. Just then, Angela walks into the living room with two mugs of tea, as promised. She sits next to Damien carefully to not disturb Freyja.
"Thank you," Damien says as he takes a sip of his drink. The hot liquid soothes his anxiety, Damien swallowing slowly to savor the taste and the feeling of the rising panic lowering back into his stomach before dissolving altogether.
Angela leans over and knocks her shoulder into Damien's. "Talk to me," Angela says in an encouraging voice, her voice softer than usual.
Damien's mind goes blank and his lips go dry. He has so much he could say to Angela, but it is like the wire between his brain and mouth has been severed, frayed ends setting off panic signals again. Zelda pops her head up from Damien's lap and nudges at him. When she doesn't get a reply, she returns back to the position she was in prior.
Angela sighs, reaching across Freyja to set her mug on the coffee table next to the armrest closest to her. "One of those nights?" Angela asks. Damien nods his head weakly in response. He takes another sip of his tea with shaking hands. Angela simply nods back and outstretches her arms. She keeps herself far enough away from Damien that he is not pressured to partake in the gesture. He wants to though, so he lifts up one of his arms and allows Angela to slot into the open space against his side. Angela wraps her arms against Damien's waist, Zelda also adjusting to get comfortable again.
Angela is now Damien's tether to reality, a lifeline reminding him that he is more than just his negative thoughts. Damien is sure that he will talk about it with Angela later once he has had time to better process his feelings instead of speaking irrationally and bringing her down with him, but for now Damien is more than happy to be here with his three best friends. It is moments like these that remind Damien of how grateful he is to be surrounded by people like Angela who care about him so unapologetically and understand him on a deeper level than anyone else ever could. Sometimes, a little patience and love is all a person needs to thrive, not just survive.