Work Text:
The morning had been so far uneventful, much to Kunikida’s pleasure. His schedule had gone uninterrupted. Aya got out of bed at the proper time this morning, meaning he didn’t have to waste a minute or two bargaining with her to drag her to school.
Because the ADA was now clear in the government’s eyes thanks to the many helping hands they had, Kunikida was able to look into the case with Aya and her abusive father. But there were unexpected pieces, as there usually were. He hadn’t known beforehand that he would also be tasked with keeping watch over the cause of the Vampire Epidemic, Bram Stoker, right before taking this case on. So about a year or so prior to today, Kunikida had to welcome two new people into his home. He hadn’t originally planned for two people though, leaving him (reluctantly) to give up his bed for Bram and let Aya sleep in the guest room. He only found out a couple weeks after this started that Bram didn’t need to sleep at night in the first place, leading him to yell at the count for not telling him.
Needless to say, Kunikida couldn’t stand Bram at first. He was petulant like a child at times, he wanted to sleep all the time or listen to music, he never went outside, and didn’t help with the household chores, it was like raising a teenager. But, after a while of living with the two of them and fighting in court, Kunikida gained legal custody over Aya. She had given him sass and quipped a couple of jokes to hide her excitement, but she was relieved to be out of that house for good. Bram approached Kunikida one day with the offer that he can watch over Aya in the afternoons and Kunikida in the mornings, because Kunikida is at work most of the day. He agreed, and life got easier. Kunikida and Bram started doing small things for one another, Kunikida would let Bram sleep for a few minutes longer if he noticed that he looked exhausted, Bram would do the dishes or organize papers scattered on the ground if Kunikida came home late, and eventually they grew closer than friends. An eight foot tall, white haired, vampire man wasn’t necessarily in his ideals. However, he is still one to follow them, and so after six months of dating, they were engaged. Surprisingly, it had been Bram who proposed, insisting it would be better for Aya.
Kunikida’s train of thought is interrupted by a familiar, agitating voice.
“Kunikida~!” Calls out a sing-song voice from the desk across from him. “I’m bored..” Dazai mumbles and rests his head on the desk.
“And how is this my problem?” Kunikida responds, not even sparing a glance to look at Dazai.
“Because we’re partners!” His head shoots up and he rests his chin on his hand. “And shouldn’t you look out for your partner’s wellbeing?” A stupid grin spreads its way across his face, he clearly isn't gonna let Kunikida do his work in peace today.
“I don't want to deal with your antics today Dazai.” Kunikida sighs and continues typing away at his keyboard. That seems to make Dazai shut up for a few minutes, until an idea seems to pop into his head. He smiles, and Kunikida grimaces.
“Oh, okay! I’ll just call some friends over then,” The stupid grin hasn’t left his face, it's only gotten even wider. Kunikida doesn’t like where this is going.
“You know you can’t invite people into the Agency’s Office without permission from President Fukuzawa.”
“Ahh, come on Kunikida, we both know that almost none of us follow that rule anyway.” He waves his hand dismissively and crosses his legs in his chair, spinning it slightly, as the phone rings. It picks up. “Hello… yes… yeah what we talked about… he’s here. Okay, see you soon!” He sits, satisfied with himself. Kunikida fights the urge to sigh again, or slap Dazai across the face for absolutely no reason besides he’s getting on his nerves more than he usually would.
“Who, that you shouldn’t invite over, did you allow into the office, today?” Kunikida shuts his computer, having finished the paperwork he was working on, and crosses his arms with a disappointed expression aimed at the brunette.
“You’ll see,” Dazai calls out and stands up, going to annoy someone else, maybe Ranpo.
“You’ll see? Do you have any idea how irritating that is?” He clicks his tongue and checks his watch, it's time for his afternoon coffee break. He stands up, and walks to the shared coffee machine on the table by Ranpo’s desk. Much to Kunikida’s dismay, he’s only able to get a sip or two into his cup of coffee before the door to the agency slams open, catching the attention of everyone in the room. Kunikida isn’t able to see who the intruder is from where he is, so his hand instinctively goes to the pocket that holds his notebook. A page at the ready.
“You guys made it!” Dazai calls out and walks to the front door. Kunikida scoffs internally and puts his notebook away, deciding instead to go and scold whoever decided to barge in here with such a ruckus.
“Just who do you think you are, barging in here like a bunch of-“ Kunikida turns the corner, coffee cup long forgotten, and gets a good look at the culprits faces. There were three young adults, most likely college students or graduates. “-animals.” Kunikida stopped.
“Mister Kunikida!” They shouted in unison and ran towards the blonde. Kunikida finally recognized their faces.
“Dazai, you called my old students? You wanted to interrupt me that badly?” He shouts angrily at the brunette who strides over as if he was on top of the world. All confident-like. He placed a shoulder on the girl in the group.
“Actually it was Tamiko here who called me first. They somehow found out that you work here now after leaving your old teaching position and wanted to stop by for a simple visit! Who would I be if I denied a heartwarming reunion between a teacher and his beloved students?” The girl smiled sheepishly, and then rubbed at the back of her neck.
“Well, I mean it was mostly Yu-Chan who found Mister Dazai’s phone number in the first place.” Yun glared at her out of the corner of his eye. Kunikida pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Masahiko was the one who found out that you worked here.” Toshirou Yun argues.
“Literally everyone knows who worked at the ADA thanks to the incident a couple years ago. It’s not my fault you and Chie-san don’t watch the news!” Hanzou Masahiko snaps back. Kunikida lets out a loud sigh of frustration, getting the attention of his former students.
“I appreciate the initiative to reach out, but I was only your teacher for a year or so. Nevermind the fact that it’s been years since I taught you. How long has it been, actually?” He questions, trying to think back. Kunikida kept track of almost everything, so obviously he remembered exactly how long it’s been since he last saw these faces. But he knew it wouldn’t be a good conversation starter if he just outright said the number.
“I think it’s been around four or five years, right? You taught our Honors Calculus class.” Tamiko thinks out loud, a hand on her chin. “Oh, but you were also going for a full degree in physics and math at the same time right?” Kunikida nods and a silence washes over them as the math adds up in the student’s (and Dazai’s brain). Dazai chirps up first.
“You dropped out of college, Kunikida? Didn’t think you had it in you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Kunikida shouts and grabs him by the collar.
“I mean you’re such a responsible guy, to do something like dropping out of college is out of character.” He shrugs, and the students watch in shock and disbelief as Kunikida knees Dazai in the gut and tosses him aside. “I was just speaking the truth..” Dazai croaks from his crouched position on the floor, Masahiko is hovering by his shoulder checking to see if he’s okay. Yun is the first who dares to speak.
“ Why did you drop out, if I might ask? Does the Armed Detective Agency have something to do with it?” Kunikida looks thoughtfully at his former student, trying to think of a way to answer this without making the story too long.
“I got caught up in something dangerous and decided that joining the Armed Detective Agency would help more people than becoming a teacher.” He pushed his glasses up and crossed his arms. “My goal is to help people, as it always has been.”
“Hehe.. Kunikida is a big softie..” Dazai giggles.
“Can it, you waste of bandages!” Kunikida yells at Dazai for the fourth time today. He’d have to remember to beat the shit out of him the next time he got the chance for pulling this stunt. “What have you three been up to recently?” His tone changes to a calmer one in an instant. “I’m on break, so I have some time to catch up before I have to return to my work.”
“I’ve been working at my family’s restaurant, you know the one that’s on the outskirts of Tokyo?” Tamiko pipes up again, always the chatterbox.
“Oh, right, I remember you talking about that occasionally. Are you still located at the same address?” She nods, and Kunikida contemplates for a second. Making a small hum of acknowledgement.
I might have to bring Aya and Bram by sometime.
“On the other hand, I’ve been working up enough revenue to become a cop though! I never thought it would be so expensive.” She sighs in exasperation and peers over Kunikida’s shoulder to where Masahiko is seated, checking over Dazai. “Masahiko has been working to become a doctor, I think. Right Masahiko?”
“Yep! You know it. More specifically, I've been studying to become a pediatrician.” He dusts himself off and rejoins the group. Leaving Dazai to wallow in self pity on the ground. “Yun-san… actually what have you been doing?”
“Have you three not been keeping contact?” Kunikida asks in a sort of astonishment. They had always been like birds of a feather. Always sitting next to each other, always working together in study groups. Kunikida always noticed that kind of stuff, he never wanted his students to feel unwelcome in his class. Even if he was very loud and overbearing, math is obviously nobody’s favorite subject, so he wanted to make sure that his students could at the very least sit with their friends. He had gotten lucky though, his first (and only) year of teaching he got a lot of students that seemed to respect him fairly well. Nobody spoke out of turn and he rarely needed to verbally discipline the students as the year went on.
“Well, I studied abroad in Korea. So it was difficult to keep in touch. I’m studying anthropology.” Yun was always the quiet one in the bunch, but he had a brilliant mind. The three of them were basically a perfect trio, Yun is intense and quiet, but brilliant, Masahiko has a heart of gold despite not having the most intelligence ever, and Chie is always the driving force behind the bunch, she has a very social disposition but a very strong mind and will.
Atsushi walks into the office carrying a few bags, he places them down on the desk and curiosity drags him over to where the four are talking.
“Who are these guys Mister Kunikida? Shouldn’t we talk to clients in the cafe downstairs or something?” The weretiger innocently questions. Kunikida turns his head slightly.
“These are my former students from when I was a teacher, they were just dropping by.” A look of clarity came upon Atsushi’s face.
“Ohh right, I forgot you were a teacher before joining the Agency!” His brow creases, something on his mind. “Did you teach for a long time?”
“No, only for a year or so, why?” Atsushi brings an unclenched fist below his mouth in thinking.
“Because you joined the Agency when you were twenty, right?” The silence that hung in the air was nearly as suffocating as the wide eyed stares he got from his students. The math eventually added up, it was as if you could literally see a lightbulb show up over their heads.
“You were our teacher at nineteen?!” The three of them shout in unison again. They seemed to like to do that a lot. Kunikida fought a vein from bulging on his forehead.
“How old do you think I am?!”
“Well I thought you had to be at least twenty something when you were teaching us right?” Masahiko shouted, holding his head and trying to remember back.
“I’m twenty four!”
“I didn’t know you were a teacher at such a young age, Mister Kunikida. That’s really impressive.” Yun relipies calmly, Masahiko is still trying to comprehend it in the background.
“Thank you, Toshirou.” He rubs his temples with one hand, contemplating kicking them out just so he can get some work done. He decides against it and takes a curt breath. “It’s not impressive if you know how to manage your time right.” Dazai seems to have recovered from his pathetic state on the floor and he wiggles his way up to lean on Kunikida’s shoulder, despite Kunikida being taller than him.
“Speaking of which, did he ever tell you guys about his ideals? Or did you see any of his millions of notebooks full of them?” Kunikida tensed, ready to strangle Dazai.
“No, I don’t think so. Why?” Chie asks innocently, this clearly also got the interest of Masahiko and Yun. They all looked on with expectant gazes. Dazai snatched Kunikida’s notebook from his pocket and tossed it at the students. He then quickly left Kunikida’s fist’s radius and hid behind his students, peering over their shoulder as Chie opened it. Masahiko and Yun on either side. He pointed to one section.
“Here, look. It’s basically a notebook of all of his morals and ideals. He has almost ten of them at the agency.” Kunikida’s eyes widened and he hesitated from outright grabbing it from Chie’s hands, that would be rude! A bead of sweat formed on his brow,
“Dazai! The hell? That’s an invasion of my privacy!” His attempts to dissuade the eager readers were in vain, it was like they couldn’t hear him. Masahiko pointed to a tab at the top.
“What is this section on?” Dazai let out a stupid laugh, and then flipped to it for them. All of the student’s faces went pale as they read the (now) very well known 58.5 point list on Kunikida’s ideal woman. They gave judgemental glances almost every time they read another point. That was until they finished reading the list. Chie shut the book and all of their heads slowly cracked up in unison. Kunikida’s face was red, and he seemed to have given up. This wasn’t the first time his notebook had been stolen by Dazai, after all. Surprisingly, Yun was the first to speak.
“I don’t think there’s a girl out there that’s like this, Mister Kunikida.” Kunikida cleared his throat and extended his hand for his notebook back. Chie handed it over, but Kunikida had to save some face somehow.
“Those points were written a long time ago. It is safe to say that almost all of those points no longer apply to my tastes.” There were still awkward pauses in between each statement spoken. Atsushi had slipped off somewhere, knowing the amount of awkwardness was about to commence would be unbearable. Dazai just had a shit eating grin on his face pointed at the blonde.
“Really, Kunikida? That’s all you want to say about your love life recently?” Dazai still stayed behind the students, using them as cover just in case Kunikida decided to attack.
“Haven’t you done enough damage?!” The blonde shouted, finally letting the vein bulge on his forehead.
“Uhm, what does Mister Dazai mean by that?” Chie timidly asked, not wanting to accidentally make Kunikida angry. Just as Kunikida was debating answering, he checked his watch. He let two seconds pass by.
“Sorry, but my break is over. I can’t answer any more questions for the time being.” He walked off and sat at his desk, opening his laptop. He stared at it for a second or so, not wanting to make eye contact with his former students—who had followed him to his desk, clearly wanting answers—right now. He appreciated the distraction greatly. He really didn’t feel like spilling every detail of his private life from the past four years right now. However, life had different plans for him as the door to the agency opened again unannounced for the second time today. Luckily, this time he was able to see who exactly it was.
“Doppo? I brought Lady Aya by, her school was dismissed early today.” Kunikida had almost forgotten due to the disturbance. Aya had a half day due to teacher meetings in the afternoon, so he and Bram had agreed that Bram would pick her up when she got out at twelve and then he would bring her here. Then, they’d both stay until Kunikida got off his shift at three. Kunikida stood up and a familiar red head of hair showed up around the corner of his desk.
“Kunikida!” She ran and squeezed Kunikida’s waist in a hug before letting go, Kunikida kneeled down and picked her up. She hadn’t grown a lot in two years, much to her dismay. She was still one of the smallest girls in her class. But she was tall enough that her head was about around Kunikida’s stomach. No way would she ever be able to be eye to eye with Bram, but to be fair no human had ever reached his absurdly tall heights. Bram walked over shortly after, noticing the people standing around Kunikida’s desk.
“Apologies, did I interrupt a meeting with clients?” Bram asked, scanning them over with his eyes. A shiver went down all of their spines against their will. His eyes were piercing.
“Ah, no, don’t worry, Bram.” Kunikida turned to his students, placing Aya in his office chair. She instantly started spinning in it. “These are my students from when I was a teacher, if you remember me mentioning that.” There was a pause. “You may introduce yourselves,” Kunikida nodded at the students.
“I’m Tamiko Chie, this is Toshirou Yun, and this is Hanzou Masahiko. And who is this little lady?” Chie smiled at Aya, who stopped spinning to talk. She was more than willing to speak to the girl in the group, but completely disregarded the two boys.
“I’m Koda Aya! Or well, actually did you get my last name changed?” She turned to Kunikida briefly.
“You didn’t express any interest in changing it, so no.” He shrugged, and the confusion on his student’s faces was all the more evident.
“Alright.” She faced Chie again, “I'm still Koda Aya, but that’s Aya-Chan to you!” She reached up and tugged on Kunikida’s ponytail, he let out a small sound of surprise and pain. “He’s my legal guardian!” Kunikida tugged his hair out of her hands and adjusted his ponytail.
“You’ve been my kid for two years now and you’re still referring to me as your ‘legal guardian’? Don’t I get any respect?”
“Nope!” She giggled.
“Mister Kunikida, why didn’t you tell us right off the bat that you had a kid?!” Masahiko looks at Aya, then at Kunikida, and then he notices Bram. You can basically see the gears turning in his head. “Is.. is he your-?” He gets cut off by Bram himself. Who has held out Kunikida’s hand and his own to showcase their matching rings.
“Spouse? Yes. We wed a couple of months ago.” He says in his usual monotonous tone. Kunikida’s lips are pressed tight, expecting another barrage of questions. He’s right on the mark.
“Woah! You have a husband and a kid and didn’t bother to tell us?”
“What’s your name?”
“How did you two meet?”
All the questions fly out of their mouths at once, overwhelming Bram. He takes a step back and stands behind Kunikida as if he were a shield. Aya is unsurprised by this, and waits it out alongside Kunikida before deciding to speak.
“His name is Bram Bram!” She calls out happily. Kunikida fixes his glasses.
“His name is Bram Stoker, and we met via Aya, surprisingly. During the incident you spoke of much earlier, Bram met Aya and she saved him from someone who was harming him. I had to watch over him and I also decided to take in Aya, since I had met her previously and her home life wasn’t suitable for a small girl.” He didn’t want to go too into detail, knowing that, for one, some details were classified, and secondly, Bram and Aya didn’t like talking about their life before they became a family. Or, well, since they moved in together.
“Aya convinced me to propose to him.” Bram mumbles, fidgeting with his sleeve before facing the students again. Yun looks up at Bram and studies his face, it seemed awfully familiar. A lightbulb goes off in his head.
“Aren’t you that vampire?” Bram nods once, and the trio’s jaws all drop. Out of all the circumstances they thought they’d see Kunikida in, they didn’t think “married to the Lord of the Undead, Master of Darkness” would be one.
“Cool, isn’t it?” Aya hops out of the chair and grabs Bram’s hand. She drags him out from behind Kunikida and pulls him down so they’re relatively eye level. “Show them your fangs! Cmon!” He turns up his nose in defiance.
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“Pleaaaseee Bram Bram?” She whines, Kunikida sighs.
“Just humor her, Bram.” He asks politely. Bram makes a hum of reluctance and opens his mouth, showcasing off his sharp canine teeth. The students crowd around him and gawk. Oohing and aahing at him as if he’s some sort of attraction at an exhibit. “Alright, give him some space.” Kunikida orders and they back up. Bram closes his mouth and stands up straight again. Kunikida takes a deep breath. “Now, as much as I enjoyed catching up with you three, I really do have work I need to catch up on. I have already spent an extra 10 minutes and 23 seconds on break.” He puts his hand on his hip, the three students deflate.
“Could we come back?”
“Of course you can. You just have to call me first, rather than Dazai please, to make an appointment.” Kunikida’s gaze softened. He really did miss when his life was simpler and he could focus on pursuing his career in education. However, he wasn’t unhappy with the way his life had turned out. He had a great kid, even if she was a bit bratty at times, and (surprisingly) a loving husband who was willing to do anything to keep his kin safe. If you had told Kunikida when he was nineteen that he would find himself in five years time with a family and a detective job, he would have laughed in your face and told you to get out because he was busy. Chie hesitated and then grabbed Kunikida in a hug. Masahiko and Yun followed shortly behind. Kunikida chuckled and hugged back shortly. They stayed there for a couple seconds. “Alright, alright. Get off. Come on, all of you!” He crossed his arms and laughed again. “It was nice seeing you all. Again, please let me know before you show up to the Agency unwarranted? I almost summoned a stun grenade and tossed it at you.” They laughed and made their way towards the door.
“We’ll have to remember that, thank you Mister Kunikida!” Masahiko called out.
“Bye bye Mister Kunikida!”
“See you.”
They all wave as they close the door. A warm feeling settles in Kunikida’s chest as he watches them go and he looks at his own family. He really did get lucky. He looks up at Bram.
“Didn’t I tell you to call me before you picked Aya up from school?” He questions in a mild scolding tone.
“The signaling device ran out of power.” Kunikida raises an eyebrow.
“And why would that be?” He moves even closer to Bram, making the vampire feel small despite being taller than Kunikida. Kunikida has his suspicions as to why his phone died exactly, but he’d rather make Bram admit it. After a bit of a long silence, Aya gets tired of it and speaks up.
“He came too early, so he waited in the office and listened to music for a few hours. And he forgot to plug it in last night.” Bram turned his head sharply at Aya.
“Lady Aya! You’ve betrayed me!” She just stuck her tongue out at him. Kunikida laughed at the display, getting both of their attention.
“God, what am I gonna do with you?” He smiles and places a small kiss on Bram’s lips, earning a grossed out expression from Aya. Kunikida puts her in a soft headlock and ruffles her hair. “You’ve seen it before, shrimp, you’re fine!”
“Aahh, you two are gross!” She wiggles out of his arms and hides behind Bram’s legs. “You’re supposed to be my knight or whatever, protect me!”
“Apologies Lady Aya, but I cannot.”
“Why not, huh? Do I need to hire a new knight?” There’s a long pause.
“Because Doppo intimidates me.”