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There comes a time where the hatred for a place and the nostalgic sense of safety of said place battle each other. Tonight is one of those times. Morgana has no idea if its her own mind playing tricks on her, which wouldn't suprise her at this point if shes honest, or if whatever left over magic that lingered on morgause's gifted braclet had finally faded after so long.
But tonight the nightmares and the visions seemed unusually strong. Strong enough that she found herself wishing for someone, anyone back in Camelot to come and find her and take her home, take her back to a familar place with those that knew how to comfort her in times like these. She yearned for Gwen's comforting arms around her and the quiet words that never failed to bring her back to herself far faster than morgause had ever been able to.
She yearned for Arthur's concerned looks and his rare visits to ensure she was okay or to see what he could do if she wasn't. She wished for the soft blankets she knows for sure gwen and Merlin had made after an especially bad night, she still has no idea how they made it that soft without it falling apart as she knows for sure that it wasn't *that* old.
Though she remembers the soft smell of lavender and how even though she still had nights she woke up screaming, the smell and the feel of that blanket would calm her down enough that she knew she was back in her chambers.
Now all she had was the damp, musty smell of her hovel, the soft trills of a pure white dragon to bring her back to her senses and a mind that warred with itself as it switched between the need for comfort, for love and affection and the hatred that she had sunk low enough to even think of wanting those things from any of them.
Most nights hatred won the battle and she would stew in the feeling of it as she plotted her next moves, but tonight. Tonight she would pretend that the pure white dragon curled around her were her friends, tonight she would pretend she was back in Camelot's castle, safe and warm and loved and come morning she would pretend none of it ever happend, let her heart grow cold once again.
But right now, at this very moment, God's does she wish someone would take her home