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“Okay, Isaac you can do this.”
Isaac started at the ceiling, Nigel was kissing at his neck. It felt great, of course, Nigel could wonder with the mouth.
Nigel reached for the buttons on Isaac’s shirt.
“Hm, Issac?” Nigel stopped kissing him.
“I'm fine, Nigel,” Isaac assured him. In reality, he was freaking out out. “But it's time.”
Nigel looked at him and climbed out of bed. “I get it, you are not ready.”
Isaac tried to get him to come back to bed, “Nigel, please I kept you waiting for at least 200 years.”
Nigel grabbed one of Isaac's hands, “And I will another 100 just for you to be comfortable.”
Isaac felt guilty for some reason. He kissed Nigel’s hand.
He pleaded, “Please, I’ll-”
Nigel shook his head, hugged Isaac, and left.
Isaac was back to staring at the ceiling, no longer having Nigel giving him just wonderful kisses.
“Dammit Issac!” He screamed at himself as he punched the bed. “You just had to lay there! Nigel said that he would do everything! Stupid Homosexual.”
Isaac rolled over the bed, if he was alive right now, he would want to be dead.
If only he could be comfortable with this, with himself. Then everything would be different.
If only.
In the evening, Nigel checked up on him.
“Cookie, is everything alright?”
“Sure, Crumpet.”
The pet names were the only good things Isaac had done in the relationship.
Nigel stood next to him, “I'm not mad.”
Isaac tried not to look at him, “How?”
“Well, I know that you're not-”
“No,” Isaac sat up and placed his head in his hands. He explained, “I mean, how are you so confident in your… everything?”
Nigel knew that Isaac would not like the answer he would give, "Well, I had help."
"Was it because you had Jenkins?"
Nigel winced, "I had lots of time to think, and consider what I wanted. And yes, Jenkins, he helped too."
Isaac looked at Nigel. He grabbed his hand, "At least you had someone. Even if it was that son of a bitch."
The couple shared a bit of a laugh at that jab.
Isaac sighed, "If only I had someone, then I would be stringing you along."
Nigel squeezed his hand, "Hey, you are not stringing me along at all. There are so many other parts of a relationship. The cute conversations, the midday walks we have. the making fun of Jay because he can't hear us, you call microwavable mac and cheese and celery a balanced meal?"
"And do you call that an outfit?"
The ghosts shared another laugh.
Nigel kissed Isaac, those delicate beautiful kisses. Nigel continued, "As long as you are comfortable, that is my only worry about this relationship. I know you love me."
Isaac wrapped his arm, around him. Someday, he would be comfortable.