Chapter Text
Tony slept fitfully dreaming of his time in Benin, the faces of Rene and Roberto haunted his dreams in them he screamed….
Gibbs sitting beside his son, jumped every time Tony screamed in his sleep. He knew Tony had not told him everything that had happened while he had been captured. Nevertheless, he needed Tony to know he was not going to let him down.
"Shh! its ok son I'm here." Gibbs said stroking Tony's head so he would sleep, Tony groaned and relaxed for a while more.
The Doc put his head around the corner, "How's he sleeping Leroy?" Doc asked.
"Not too good Doc, Nightmares from Africa I think." Gibbs admitted.
Doc sat on a chair next to Gibbs, "Leroy, you need to rest too, go home let one of your friends sit with Tony, spend some time with that grandson of yours," he suggested.
"I let him down once Doc, I ain't gonna do it again." Gibbs growled.
Doc nodded. "You were always a stubborn child." He mused. He checked Tony's charts and walked off only to come back five minutes later with a pillow, blanket and a decent coffee.
"There now at least rest." The Doc ordered.
Gibbs gave a half smile, thanked the man, and took a big drink of the coffee. "Hey Doc, I think I thanked you too soon!" he grinned and dropped the coffee in the trashcan.
The doc laughed and left.
Gibbs settled down within arms reach of Tony and within moments fell asleep.
A nurse walking by looked in on them and then walked up to the Doc. "Adam! Did you drug Leroy Gibbs?" she admonished him
"Yep!" The doctor grinned, "He'll get at least two hours sleep."
Gibbs awoke to Jacksons' hand on his shoulder.
"Morning son, how is he?" Jackson asked motioning to Tonys' sleeping form.
Gibbs rubbed his eyes, in that motion Jackson saw for a moment his son as a five year old and smiled.
"He's good Dad, we both slept last night, he had some nightmares, I think he may need some help to get over this, but it may take some time." He said. Then he looked around, "Where's Luca?" he asked
"Kort and Fornell have taken him out for the day, to a zoo." Jackson said.
"Ummm…He'll like that." Tony said quietly.
Both Jackson and Gibbs turned to him, "Hey, Good morning." Both men said.
"If that's a jinx you both owe me a beer." Tony quipped.
"It's a soda." Jackson told him.
"Yeah, but I'd prefer a beer." Tony replied.
"Good morning, Mr. DiNozzo." The Doc said.
"Hey Doc," Tony said.
"And how are we feeling this morning?" Doc asked.
"Dunno about you Doc, but I'm fine." Tony said trying to lift himself up and wincing as pain shot through his ribs.
"DiNozzo?" Gibbs glared at him
For a second Tony's mask slipped and he let his anger show through, "I hurt like someone kicked the shit outta me." He took a breath, "Sorry Doc." He said ashamed for letting his guard down like that.
"No…No that's fine, I will change the dosage on your pain medication and I have arranged for a psychiatrist to come and talk to you this afternoon, you have been through a lot Mr. DiNozzo and need to talk about it." Doc told him gently.
Tony bristled with anger, 'what the hell is going on with me?' he thought. "I don't need a bloody psychiatrist!" He yelled trying to get out of the bed.
"Tony?" Gibbs said trying to calm him down.
"NO ONE IS POKING THROUGH MY HEAD…..MY SECRETS WILL STAY SECRET!" He yelled pushing against Gibbs.
The Doc quickly injected Tony with a sedative and Gibbs and Jackson laid him back down on the bed.
Tony laid there, tears he could not hold back flowing freely down the sides of his head.
He turned his face away and refused to talk to anyone.
Gibb looked at his dad and the Doc and they both gave him the room so he could talk to Tony.
"Why won't you let them help you son."
"I can't talk about any of it…not Africa, not Jeanne not my…" Tony clammed up.
"Please Gibbs, don't let them make Me.," he begged.
"I can't dwell on the past; it's gone, done, never existed. I need to live now for Luca, I need to get out of here. I need to go home." Tony cried, knowing the pain relievers were more responsible for his mouth now than he was.
"It's a part of you Tony, you need to understand it to move forward, you don't have to do this alone, and Kort and I both have your six." Gibbs said.
Tony sat and before he knew it, he was telling everything to Gibbs. He told him about his abusive childhood and how, Kort had saved him.
He told him about how Jenny had ordered him to sleep with Jeanne and how against his judgment he had fallen for her because more than anything he just wanted to be loved and had someone love him back.
Then the hardest thing he told Gibbs about Roberto and everything he had done to him in Africa. How he had wanted to die and had seen Jeanne's ghost.
The last thing he told him was how more than anything he wished that Gibbs really were his father. How he would have been a better person with him as a parent, how he wished if anything happened to him that Gibbs would raise Luca and he was sorry he had not been worthy to be a better son for his father. He cried himself to sleep asking Gibbs repeatedly what he had done to be such a bad son that his father wanted no part of him.
Four hours later after Tony had cried himself to sleep. A very shaken Gibbs had left the room to find Jackson and the Doc outside on a couple of chairs.
"I don't think he needs to see a psychiatrist Doc, I think he just got it all out." Gibbs said.
"We heard." Doc said simply. "I will let him go home tomorrow, but I will need to give him some anti depressants and he will need watching for a month while they take effect."
"I'll watch him doc." Gibbs promised. "Do you think he'll be ok?" he asked worried.
"I think from what I've heard that poor boy has been through more than anyone ever should. With you and your family helping him Leroy, eventually he'll be fine, it's going to be rocky but he'll get there." The doc reassured him.