Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Politics may ask you to choose between the left and right, but fashion, in its infinite wisdom, asks you to only turn left," quipped Derek Zoolander. With his chiseled jawline , and piercing blue eyes that could rival the depth of the ocean, Derek exuded an air of confidence that was as infectious as it was intimidating. His lectures on the seemingly simple but undoubtedly complex art of how models runway walks and strike fierce poses affect the design process were captivating, to say the least. Every time he spoke, his words echoed in the room, commanding the undivided attention of each and every one present.

"Nah dude,” On the other hand, there was Hansel McDonald. With his disheveled hair that spoke of a carefree life and laid-back attitude that was a refreshing contrast to Derek's intense demeanor, Hansel brought a unique perspective to the art of fashion. His classes on bohemian styles and unconventional design choices challenged the status quo and pushed the boundaries of what was considered 'fashionable'. “Fashion is about self-expression and individuality. It's a form of rebellion against conformity. It's about expressing your soul, man.”

Derek, spotting Hansel’s unexpected entrance, smirked and said, "Looks like we have an uninvited guest today," His voice was dripping with sarcasm, as if he had been expecting this unwelcome interruption. "Tell me, Hansel, did you lose your way to your own classroom again?"

With a nonchalant shrug, Hansel leaned back against the wall, completely unfazed by Derek's snide remark.

"Nah, just thought I'd drop by and see what this ‘real fashion’ looks like for a change," he quipped, his words earning a few chuckles from the students. It was no secret who the majority of the students favored. Even the headmaster, Mugatu, could often be overheard talking about how Hansel is better and ‘so hot right now’.

Feigning interest, Derek asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to share with the class, Hansel?" A smirk, as if he was reveling in some private joke, played at the corners of his mouth.

"Nah, Zoolander, but I think they've heard enough from you for one day," Hansel replied, winking at the students with an air of camaraderie. "Remember, fashion isn't about following rules, it's about breaking them."

With a slight chuckle and a casual wave of his hand, Hansel sauntered out of the room.

"Well, anyways," Derek began again, trying to regain the attention of the class, "you have to give this some serious thought when…" He continued forward with the lecture, doggedly determined to finish his lesson plan. With the earlier spectacle now over, the rest of the class gradually turned back to focus on the lecture, their attention returning to the words being spoken from the front of the room.

Everyone, that is, except for Meekus, his mind still caught up in the events that had just unfolded.

****

"Guys, did you notice the tension between Derek and Hansel today? It almost felt like there's something more than just rivalry between them," Meekus commented

“You have got to stop watching Criminal Minds,” Todd groaned. "It's starting to warp your thinking and it's making you see things that aren't really there."

"I swear, I am not making this up, he actually blushed! I saw it with my own two eyes!" insisted Meekus, his voice filled with certainty.

"Meekus, you know as well as I do that they can't stand each other. Are you sure it wasn't just because the room was too warm or something?" Todd countered, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to rationalize Meekus's observations.

"Dude, it was freezing in there. And that's not all," Meekus continued, his voice rising slightly with excitement. "He even smiled! Archie, you were there. Back me up on this!"

"Yes, there was definitely a blush," Archie confirmed, just adding fuel to the fire. "And a smile. It was fleeting, but it was there. Something's up between Derek and Hansel, that's for sure."

Todd, however, remained skeptical. "Look, you know how those two are. They're always trying to one-up each other. I really think you're reading too much into this," he argued, not convinced by the growing speculation.

"No, no, no! You are missing the point!" Meekus interjected, his eyes rolling at his skepticism. "There's definitely something more going on between them. You know, like some sort of... secret understanding or shared joke. You should have seen how Derek's eyes lit up when he saw Hansel."

"Alright, alright!” Todd said, raising his hands. "If you guys are so sure about it, then let's just keep an eye on them.”

Chapter Text

Matilda found herself running late to her class. She had lost track of time, and now she was rushing through the college campus, weaving in and out of crowds of students. However, she wasn't too worried. It wasn’t a big deal because she was heading to Professor McDonald's class, and he was famous for his tardiness. It was a running joke that regardless of how late you are, he would always arrive even later. His consistent lateness had his students a bit of leeway with their punctuality.

When he finally arrived, he as usual casually took his usual spot at the front of the room, settled himself into his well-worn seat, and slowly began to address the class.

“So. Drugs,” he started, the single word hanging in the air like a question waiting to be answered. “We all take them, but how do they influence different subcultures?”

He paused for a moment to let it sink in. Then, with a slight nod as though confirming his own thoughts, he continued, “Well…” and thus began his usual passionate discourse.

Suddenly, Derek threw open the door and abruptly entered. He moved with a force that disrupted the calm, studious atmosphere of the room. Hansel, who was perched comfortably at his desk, immediately noticed Derek's conspicuous entrance and the unmistakable cross expression that was etched on his face.

"Miss me already, Zoolander?" Hansel teased, a sly grin spreading across his face as he leaned back in his chair, a picture of nonchalance.

Derek didn't miss a beat as he retorted, “You took my lesson plans!” His voice echoed around the room, the accusation hanging heavily in the air.

Hansel scoffed at Derek's words, his eyes wide with feigned surprise. "You're delusional, Zoolander. I’ve never even seen your syllabus, let alone any lesson plans,” he replied, his voice dripping with incredulity and a hint of amusement.

Unfazed by Hansel's denial, Derek shot back confidently, “Oh yeah? Then what's that on your desk?” He pointed an accusing finger towards a suspiciously familiar folder on Hansel's otherwise cluttered desk.

Hansel glanced down at his desk.

"This?" he said."This is just class assignments."

"Class assignments?" Derek repeated, his voice dripping with skepticism. He stepped closer to the desk, his eyes trained on the folder. "May I?" he asked, though it was clear he wasn't really asking for permission.

Without waiting for a response, Derek reached for the folder, his movements swift. He flipped it open, his eyes scanning the contents eagerly. "This is mine," he murmured under his breath, his voice heavy with vindication.

"What? No! You must be mistaken," he protested, his voice echoing his disbelief. "Let me take a look." He reached out, taking the paper from his companion's hands, and scanned the contents. A moment passed before he sighed in resignation. "Oh, you're... right."

"Yeah." The single word was a confirmation, simple yet definitive.

He glanced down at his hands, suddenly feeling a pang of anxiety. "But my assignments..." His voice trailed off, the unfinished question hanging in the air.

Without missing a beat, Derek reached into his bag and pulled out a similar folder. He held it out, the corners of his mouth lifting in a small, reassuring smile. "They're right here," he said, effectively cutting through the tension.

With a small, genuine smile gracing his lips, Hansel offered a quiet "thanks." His fingers lingered against Derek’s, their hands brushing against each other for a moment that seemed to stretch out longer than necessary.

Matilda, who had been silently observing the event unfolding before her eyes, couldn't help but mutter a bewildered "the fuck??" under her breath. The scene was so surreal, she felt like she was in a dream.

"I know right?" a voice echoed in agreement beside her, thick with a Russian accent. The voice carried a hint of amusement as it added, "they are disgustingly cute."

Matilda turned her head, intrigued by the unexpected response. She found herself looking at a woman whose appearance was as striking as her accent. She had straight black hair cut in a perfectly neat bob, bold red lips that contrasted sharply with her pale complexion, and fierce eyes that seemed to hold a world of stories. She was undeniably gorgeous, a vision that took Matilda's breath away.

Caught off guard by her own reaction, Matilda just stared. The woman, noticing Matilda's gaze, tilted her head slightly and asked, "...you okay?"

Matilda snapped out of her trance, realizing she had been caught staring. The stunning woman was looking back at her with an expression that looked somewhat like concern. It took a moment for Matilda to find her voice.

"Huh?" was all she managed to get out. It came out more as a question than a response.

"You look lost. You okay?" the woman asked again, her tone gentle.

"YES! I mean, Yes. Absolutely fine. Great! Haha," Matilda quickly replied, her words tumbling out in a rush as she scrambled to regain her composure.

"Well, good," she whispered, before she turned her attention back to the front where Hansel had continued his lecture. He was completely engrossed in his topic, blissfully unaware of the brief exchange that had occurred behind him.

Matilda sat back in her chair, a sudden pang of disappointment washing over her. The beautiful woman's attention had shifted so quickly, leaving Matilda feeling somewhat deflated. It felt as though their intriguing conversation, which had been filled with such promise, was abruptly over.

She began gathering her belongings, her mind still lingering on the interaction. As she casually reached into her pocket, her fingers closed around a piece of paper that definitely wasn't there before. With a look of surprise, she pulled it out, unfolding it to reveal a phone number neatly scribbled across it.

Beside the number, a small note read: 'my number - Katinka'. It was a simple note, yet it held so much potential. Matilda couldn't help but feel a renewed sense of excitement, her disappointment quickly fading away.

Chapter Text

Archie's hesitant footsteps echoed down the dimly lit hallway, the familiar scents of old books and chalk filling his nose. He made a turn and was faced with a heavy wooden door, adorned with a small brass nameplate that read "Derek Zoolander - Professor."

He paused outside the door, his hand hovering over the handle as he debated whether to enter or not. The renowned fashion designer, Derek Zoolander, was known for his eccentric personality and Archie didn't want to disturb him. As he stood there, unsure of what to do, hushed voices could be heard coming from inside the office.

Curiosity getting the best of him, Archie pressed his ear against the door in an attempt to make out the muffled voices. One was unmistakably Zoolander's, but the other was unfamiliar. The sound of raised voices and shuffling bodies reached his ears, along with a few grunts and groans. It sounded like a heated argument turning physical inside the room. Archie strained to hear what they were saying, but their words were too indistinct to decipher.

Deciding it would be best to come back later, Archie turned to leave when suddenly the door swung open and Hansel emerged, frantically trying to fix his hair and straighten his wrinkled shirt. He froze at the sight of Archie. "Andrew? Hi!" Hansel's eyes widened in surprise as he tried to smooth down his unruly hair.

With a slight frown on his face, Archie corrected him. "Actually, it's Archie." Hansel's face flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, right. Of course," he stuttered out before forcing a nervous laugh. "Long day," he added quickly before hastily making his way out of the room.

As Archie watched Hansel's hasty retreat, confusion filled his mind. What had just happened?

After a few moments of contemplation, Archie clenched his fists and marched towards the closed door. His hand trembled as he raised it to knock, unsure of what he would find on the other side.

He hesitantly tapped on the door and a muffled voice from inside responded, "Come in!"

Pushing open the door, Archie was stopped in his tracks at the sight. Derek's usually perfectly groomed appearance was now a mess. His hair, normally slicked back and styled, was now disheveled with strands sticking up in all directions. The once pristine white shirt he always wore was now untucked and wrinkled, the buttons slightly undone, a stark contrast to the always immaculate and put-together Derek Zoolander that Archie knew. As he stepped into the room, the pungent smell of cologne mixed with sweat hit his nostrils. Derek let out an exasperated sigh as he tried to quickly smooth down his hair.

"Oh, Archie," he said, clearing his throat before gesturing towards the room. "Did you need anything?."

Archie stammered nervously, attempting to collect his thoughts. He knew he needed to focus on his assignment and not worry about whatever had happened before. "Um, well, I was just wondering if it's possible for me to get an extension? If it's not too much trouble, that is."

Derek's expression was unreadable as he looked at Archie.

"Yes, of course-"

Archie couldn't contain his curiosity any longer. He had to know the truth. "Why was Hansel in your office?"

Derek hesitated, glancing around as he, quite obvously, scrambled to come up with an excuse. "Um, he was just..." He trailed off before finally blurting out, "Helping me fix my computer!" Trying to change the subject, he quickly added, "But anyway, about that extension we were discussing..."

***

Archie excitedly recounts the entire situation to his friends Meekus and Todd, convinced that this could be the solid evidence they need to prove Zoolander and Hansel's relationship.

"And then he said, 'oh he was just helping me with my computer', which I highly doubt. I mean, how much does Hansel really know about computers? Anyways, AFTER that -" he continued on in his rambling.

"Okay, we get it!" Todd exclaimed, irritation evident in his tone. "But this doesn't prove anything!"

"Oh, come on Todd! Are you seriously going to act like this?" Meekus retorted in a slightly subdued manner.

"You have to admit it's just too coincidental, Todd!" Archie insisted, refusing to let the matter go. "There must be something going on between them."

Todd shook his head, clearly not convinced.

"I won't believe anything you guys are saying until there is actual proof. Can we please just drop this?"

Chapter Text

The soft rustling of fabric and the gentle scratch of pencils on paper filled the air as Todd hunched over the library table, surrounded by his classmates. The group project for Professor Zoolander's avant-garde design class had them all on edge, their usually animated chatter reduced to hushed whispers.

"Did you see the way Professor McDonald looked at Zoolander yesterday?" Katinka murmured, her eyes darting around conspiratorially.

Todd's brow furrowed as he sketched a flowing silhouette. "What do you mean?"

"You know," Justin chimed in, leaning closer. "That... intense stare. Like they were having a whole conversation without saying a word."

A prickle of unease crawled up Todd's spine. He'd noticed the professors' unusual dynamic, but had dismissed it as their infamous rivalry. Now, catching the knowing glances exchanged by his peers, he wasn't so sure.

"Maybe they're just really focused on their work," Todd offered weakly, not entirely convinced himself.

Katinka snorted. "Please. There's definitely more going on there."

Todd's pencil stilled on the page. He wanted to argue, to defend the professors he admired so much, but the seed of doubt had been planted. His mind raced, recalling little moments he'd previously overlooked – a lingering touch here, a shared smile there.

"But they're always at each other's throats," he protested, more to convince himself than anyone else.

Justin raised an eyebrow. "Ever heard of sexual tension?"

Todd felt his cheeks burn. He ducked his head, pretending to focus on his sketch, but his thoughts whirled. Could it be true?

"We should probably get back to work," Todd mumbled, desperate to change the subject.

As his classmates reluctantly returned to their designs, Todd couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was something more going on.

*****

A low murmur drifted from the stacks behind Todd, piercing through the library's hushed atmosphere. He froze, pencil hovering above his sketchpad, as he recognized the distinctive voices of Professors Zoolander and McDonald.

Todd's eyes darted to his classmates, but they remained absorbed in their work. Heart racing, he leaned back in his chair, straining to catch the conversation.

"...can't keep doing this, Derek," Hansel's voice carried, tinged with frustration.

Todd's brow furrowed. He glanced at the aisle, then back to his group. Biting his lip, he made a split-second decision.

"I'm gonna grab another reference book," he whispered, sliding out of his seat.

As he approached the shelves, Todd's fingers trailed along the spines of fashion history tomes. He tilted his head, inching closer to the source of the voices.

"What do you expect me to do?" Derek's usually confident tone wavered. "The students-"

"Forget the students for a second," Hansel interrupted. "This is about us."

Todd's breath caught in his throat. Us? His mind raced, recalling the earlier gossip. Could it be true?

He leaned in further, pulse quickening. A part of him felt guilty for eavesdropping, but curiosity overpowered his conscience. What was really going on between these two legendary rivals?

"Us?" Derek scoffed, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice. "And what exactly are we, Hansel? Besides two incredibly good-looking men who happen to work together?"

Todd's eyes widened at the flirtatious undertone. He pressed himself against the bookshelf, ears straining.

Hansel's laugh was low and intimate. "Oh, come on, Derek. You know we're more than that. Remember last night when I helped you with your... zipper problem?"

"How could I forget?" Derek's voice dropped to a husky whisper. "Your hands are surprisingly dexterous for someone who claims to be all about 'free-form fashion.'"

Todd's jaw dropped. He blinked rapidly, trying to process what he was hearing. This couldn't be real, could it? The two most notorious rivals at ZFU, secretly... involved?

"Speaking of hands," Hansel murmured, "I've been thinking about your new collection. What if we combined your structured designs with my flowing fabrics? It could be... explosive."

"Mmm, I do love it when you talk fashion to me," Derek purred.

Todd's face flushed hot with embarrassment and shock. He'd always dismissed the rumors as ridiculous gossip, but now... The playful banter, the intimate jokes, the unmistakable chemistry – it all pointed to something far beyond a simple professional rivalry.

His mind reeled, recalling all the times he'd witnessed their heated arguments in class. Had those passionate debates been masking something else entirely? The realization hit him like a bolt of lightning: he'd been completely wrong about their relationship.

Todd's heart pounded as he leaned back, desperate to escape the intimate scene unfolding mere feet away. His elbow caught the edge of a nearby book cart, sending a towering stack of fashion magazines cascading to the floor with a thunderous crash.

"Oh no, no, no," Todd muttered, his lanky frame dropping to the ground as he scrambled to gather the glossy pages. His fingers trembled, fumbling with each issue of Vogue and Harper's Bazaar.

"What was that?" Derek's voice carried from the nearby aisle, footsteps approaching.

Panic surged through Todd's veins. "This isn't happening," he thought, his mind racing. "They can't find me here. They'll know I was listening!"

"Hello? Is someone there?" Hansel called out, his tone curious.

Todd's breath caught in his throat as he scooped armfuls of magazines, trying to restore order to the chaos he'd created. "Just stay calm," he silently coached himself. "Act natural. You're just a student... studying... fashion history. Yeah, that's it."

Todd's hands moved faster, his heart threatening to burst from his chest. He glanced up, catching sight of Justin watching him with a mix of amusement and concern.

"Need a hand?" Justin whispered, already moving to assist.

Todd nodded gratefully, his voice barely audible. "Please. I'm about to die of embarrassment here."

*****

“I got it from here. Thanks, Justin,” Todd said with a nod of appreciation.

As Justin said goodbye and walked away, Todd quickly placed the final magazine onto the cart, his heart racing. He stood up straight, prepared to make a quick escape, when he noticed a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye. Without thinking, he turned his attention in its direction.

There, in the shadowy recesses of the stacks, stood Derek and Hansel. Todd's jaw dropped. The two professors were standing impossibly close, their bodies nearly touching. Derek's hand rested on Hansel's forearm, his thumb tracing small circles on the exposed skin. Hansel's head was tilted towards Derek, a soft smile playing on his lips.

As Todd turned to flee, his mind was a whirlwind of confusion and revelation. Everything he thought he knew about Derek and Hansel's relationship had just been turned on its head.

******

Todd slumped against the cool brick wall outside the library, his heart racing. He closed his eyes, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of thoughts and emotions swirling through his mind.

"What the hell?" he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his tousled hair.

The image of Derek and Hansel standing so close, their voices low and intimate, replayed in his mind. Todd chewed on his lower lip, a habit that intensified as his thoughts raced.

"Hey, Todd! Earth to Todd!"

Todd's eyes snapped open to see Meekus waving a hand in front of his face.

"You okay, man? You look like you've seen a ghost," Meekus said, concern etching his features.

Todd hesitated, unsure whether to share what he'd seen. "I... It's nothing. Just stressed about the project."

Meekus raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Come on, spill. What's really going on?"

Todd sighed, fidgeting with the strap of his messenger bag. "It's Derek and Hansel. I saw them in the library and... I don't know, man. Something's off."

"Off how?" Archie chimed in, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

Todd glanced around, lowering his voice. "They were standing really close, whispering. It was... intimate."

Meekus and Archie exchanged looks.

"I knew it!" Meekus exclaimed.“Todd, I love you bro, but This is litterally what I’ve been saying for weeks!”

Archie chimed in, "Every time we mention it, you just blow us off and act like we're insane."

"Alright, I get it!" exclaimed Todd. "Let's just go, okay?"