Work Text:
“Jim, seriously,” Leonard groaned, looking up from the PADD he was hunched over at his desk. “I need to study. The exam’s in three days and I’m never gonna be ready in time at this rate.”
Jim let out a dramatic sigh from where he was draped over Leonard’s dorm sofa, tapping absent-mindedly at some game or other on his own PADD. “Bones, you’ve been studying for this flight theory exam non-stop for weeks. You need a break.”
“Yeah, and I’m still not ready for it. There's plenty time to drink ourselves stupid after the exam, provided I don’t fail the damn thing.”
“Look, you’ve got the knowledge, the only reason you didn’t pass the first time was because you were all up in your head worrying about it.” He sat up, fixing Leonard with what he probably thought was a convincing look. “Come on, it’s Friday! A night off will do you good.”
“Well, if I’d studied harder the first time ‘round then maybe I wouldn’t have been up worrying about it and would have done just fine. That’s what I’m tryna do here.”
Leonard turned back to his desk, trying his best to ignore Jim’s hurt look. Why the medical track had to do these ridiculous flight exams anyway, god only knew. At least the practical wasn’t until next semester – even the thought of the damn simulators they used made his stomach lurch.
“Boooones,” Jim whined, leaning heavily over his shoulder and trying to swat the PADD he was reading out of his hand. On any other occasion Leonard would have likened him to a cat in need of attention, but as it was, he was stressed, exhausted, and far from the right frame of mind to find Jim’s actions cute.
He shoved Jim off his shoulder and spun around in his chair. “No, I mean it Jim, stop being so immature. Just because you could pass your flight module with your eyes shut doesn’t mean the rest of us can, we weren’t all born in space.”
“That was a low fucking blow, Bones, and you know it,” Jim said lowly, a warning. “What harm can a couple of drinks do? I’ve been looking forward to this all week, you promised.”
“Yeah well,” Leonard interrupted, his patience running thin, “things change. Grow up and go to the bar yourself; you’d only find someone to fuck ten minutes in, anyway.”
“Yeah, well maybe I will! Maybe I’ll find someone that doesn’t back down on their promises because of a crappy little midterm test!”
“Fine! Get out then!”
“Fuck you Bones, some friend you are!”
And with that, Jim stormed out, slamming the door behind him so hard it rattled the doorframe.
Leonard stood in the middle of his empty dorm, all the fight gone out of him in the instant Jim had slammed the door and left him alone.
Well, fuck.
It had been a while since he’d gotten that angry, and never at Jim before. All because he was terrified of the damn flight theory test and too ashamed to admit it.
He surveyed the state of the room: abandoned half-cups of coffee collecting on his desk, PADDs and textbooks scattered across the bed. Jim’s black leather jacket where he’d flung it over the sofa.
Dammit, now he’d have to see Jim tomorrow. And there was a storm picking up out there, the kid was gonna freeze. He shook the thought from his head. It was Jim’s own fault he’d left his jacket, and besides it wasn’t far to the dive bar where he was undoubtedly heading, and even less to Jim’s dorm - if he would even end up there tonight rather than in somebody else’s bed. He’d be fine. He could give Jim the jacket another day, when they’d both had a chance to cool down.
—
Jim stomped through the rain along the path that led away from the med track dorms, muttering angrily to himself.
He could see Bones was overworking himself; he was gonna make himself ill if he didn’t take time to rest and blow off steam once in a while, and Jim had tried to be a good friend and point it out, but look where that had got him. Yelled at and kicked out, after he was only trying to help. Well fuck that. He wasn’t “immature”, Bones was too uptight. What did a tiny little exam he could easily resit next term matter in the grand scheme of things anyway?
It wasn’t about whether or not Bones wanted to go to the bar with him, it was the whole principle of it. Bones was meant to be his best friend – one of his only friends on this damn campus full of try-hards and teenagers – and if he was constantly blowing off their plans then where did that leave him? He was sick of being left behind.
He and Bones had argued before of course, they were both too bull-headed not to, but never like this. Never something they couldn’t easily laugh off or settle over a glass of bourbon or beer.
His feet led him to the dive bar just off campus, where he’d planned to be going tonight anyway. Maybe he’d just have a drink or two before heading home; he didn’t much feel like being alone with his own thoughts tonight somehow.
–
It was almost midnight by the time Jim stumbled out of the bar – feeling no better than a few hours ago, but at least he might be able to sleep tonight with a few drinks in him. Some out-of-town guy had bought him a whiskey, but Jim hadn’t felt much like flirting tonight, regardless of what Bones had said. Still, it hadn’t stopped him downing the drink quickly, or the one he’d ordered himself after, or the one after that. The anger from earlier had burned off somewhere between the second and third glass, and now he was just plain miserable.
The temperature had dropped further in the interim, and though his chest felt warm from the alcohol, Jim still shivered in his thin t-shirt, crossing his arms against the renewed onslaught of freezing rain as he staggered in the general direction of his dorm. He wished he’d had the foresight to grab his jacket before he’d stormed out like a spoiled brat, and for what? To try and get Bones to spend some time with him? Maybe Bones was right, maybe he was just a whiny kid who didn’t know when to leave well enough alone. Would Bones even speak to him after that? What if–
Suddenly the world lurched and Jim found himself sprawled on the grass by the path, mud and rain soaking through his clothes. He didn’t move for a moment, just lay blinking dazedly at the streetlamp above as his mind caught up to his current position. He remembered Bones saying something about how if he’s gonna fall he’d better do it after a drink, then he wouldn’t tense up and break something again, and it must be true because it was Bones that said it, but also because Jim couldn’t feel so much as a skinned knee or a bruised ass right now – or so much of the cold anymore now he thought about it.
Fuck, he was so tired, what if he just lay here for a bit?
He shook himself. No, he needed to keep going. His dorm shouldn’t be far away now, although it was hard to tell through bleary eyes and the rain coming down in sheets. Just a little further and he could pass out in his warm dry bed rather than the cold wet ground. Summoning all the strength he had left, he pushed himself up off the grass and carried on.
—
Finally, Jim made it to the warm glow of the dorm block’s entryway lights. He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, then the other, and then–
“Shit,” he muttered eloquently.
He must have left his keys in his jacket from earlier, conveniently located in Bones’ dorm on the other side of campus. Bones, who probably wouldn’t want to talk to him after that, might not want to see him again ever, and wouldn’t that just be exactly what he deserved? But there was nowhere else to go – it was almost winter break so those that had finished their exams had already left – his roommate Gary fucked off to– to wherever it is he goes for the breaks, Gaila off to stay with Uhura’s family somewhere warm and sunny, just him and Bones left.
Outside the temporary shelter of the entrance awning, the wind picked up as if to punctuate his misery.
He could only hope that Bones wouldn’t turn him away, before Jim even had a chance to apologise and ask for his keys.
—
Leonard awoke with a start.
He let his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, looking around for what had disturbed him. It was late – or rather, early judging by the readout of his bedside clock, its soft blue glow cheerily blinking the hour as if to taunt him. The wind had picked up whilst he’d been asleep and the rain was now battering violently against the window pane. Probably just the storm, he supposed, rolling over and pulling the covers tighter around him.
He’d just closed his eyes again when he heard it – a faint knock on the door. Who the hell could it be this late? Cursing under his breath, Leonard got to his feet and opened the door to see –
Jim, bedraggled and cold, looking the picture of patheticness in his doorway.
For a moment, all Leonard could do was stare, brain rebooting.
“B-B-Bones,” he shivered, slurring slightly in a way that was probably more due to the cold than any drink he’d had. “I’m - I’m sorry, I - please, I didn't know where to go. ”
“Jim, what the hell?” Leonard exclaimed, frowning at the sight in front of him.
Jim’s face fell. “I j-j-just need to g-get my jacket and-and- I’ll go, I’m sorry.”
Leonard reached out to grab Jim’s arm, further assessing the situation in closer proximity. He was soaked through and absolutely freezing, skin pale and cold. And he thought he was going back out there? Damn kid was about to give himself hypothermia, if he hadn’t already.
“No, I mean what the hell happened to you?”
“I- I don’t know, I went for a drink and-” Jim sniffed, “and then I - my keys - in my jacket, couldn't get in so I - I came here, I’m sorry I really am.” A particularly violent shiver wracked his body. “J-just need to get my keys and I’ll go, I promise,” he shivered, trying weakly to pull out of Leonard’s grip.
Oh. His keys were in his jacket. The jacket he’d left when Leonard had all but kicked him out earlier in the night. No wonder he thought he’d be turned away again.
Grabbing Jim with both arms, Leonard bundled him inside before he could try to escape, kicking the door closed behind them. “No you damn well won’t, Jim, you look like crap. Let me have a proper look at you.”
He grabbed his medkit from his bag and sat Jim on the bed. He looked about ready to keel over, offering no resistance as Leonard cupped his freezing cheek in one hand and reached for his medical scanner with the other. That in itself was concerning enough – Jim rarely missed an opportunity to whine and shy away from his medical attention.
Leonard checked the readout on the scanner: body temperature worryingly low, increased heart rate – yeah Jim definitely needed warming up, and fast.
What did he think he was doing, wandering back across campus like that? Jim should have called him, or got a late-night shuttle or something. If Leonard had known, he’d have come straight to him, any arguments be damned. Hell, he would have carried Jim across campus on his back if that’s what it took to keep him safe.
His hands moved almost on autopilot as he loaded up a hypospray and pressed it to Jim’s neck. The kid didn’t even flinch. Leonard knelt down to meet his eyes.
“Here, that should stave off the worst of the symptoms, but I need to get you out of those wet clothes before you catch your death. Is that alright, Jim?”
Jim nodded, and Leonard took that as a sign to continue. He made quick work of Jim’s clothing, stripping him down to his (mostly dry, thankfully) underwear and snatching a towel off the heater to dry his hair. As Leonard reached across the bed to grab the comforter, still warm from when he’d thrown it off earlier, Jim muttered something he didn’t quite catch.
“What was that, kid?” he murmured, bundling the comforter around Jim and tucking his legs in until only his face peeked out – still too pale, but at least he was out of those wet clothes now.
“I s-s-said if -,” Jim shivered, teeth still chattering slightly, “if y’ wanted t-to see me naked you- you c-could’a just asked.”
Leonard allowed himself a soft breath in response, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh of relief. If Jim was cracking jokes, he must be starting to warm up a little.
“I would have,” he retorted, “only I didn’t think you were in any fit state to strip yourself for me.”
Jim’s lips curled into a tired approximation of a smile. “N-n-next time,” he replied.
Leonard stood up, patting Jim on the shoulder. “Alright kid, you good waiting here for a sec? I’m just gonna fix you up something warm to drink, I won’t be long.”
Jim nodded his assent, wrapping the comforter tightly around him. He seemed to have settled slightly since Leonard found him on the doorway, but he still seemed tense, as if he were still bracing himself for the moment he was kicked out again.
Leonard felt reluctant to leave him even for a minute, wished he could just pull Jim to his chest and tell him it was okay, but a mug of hot sweet tea should go a long way to warming him up at least.
—
Jim nestled further into the comforter, feeling the ache in his extremities as sensation slowly came back into them. His bones felt heavy as lead, and it was a struggle to keep his eyes open. He could hear Bones clattering about in the kitchenette, grumbling under his breath as he rummaged around for something or other.
Bones had let him in and taken care of him, of course he had, but Jim knew he should leave, stop being such a disruption.
How had all this even started? He could hardly remember. He’d said something, or… or done something, and Bones had made him leave so it must have been something bad. But thinking more than that hurt – his head felt like… like cotton wool, or like all the fluid up there had turned to slush in the cold. All he knew is he’d done something wrong and he needed to apologise.
But oh, he was so tired. If he just closed his eyes for a few minutes he’d feel better, he knew it. And then he’d leave. The comforter Bones had wrapped him in was soft and smelt safe, like Bones’ bed, like a hug from Bones himself. He bet Bones gave good hugs, all strong and soft and maybe if Jim was good he could ask for one. If Bones could forgive him. But he was okay for now, right? Maybe after a nap he could remember properly what he’d done wrong, and then he’d be better at apologising, and he really was so, so tired. If he just put his head on his knees and dozed off for a bit, Bones wouldn’t mind, would he? Just for a little while?
.
.
.
“Jim. Jim. Come on, wake up.”
Something – or someone – was shaking him, one warm firm hand on his shoulder and the other touching his face. That part was nice, the hand on his cheek. He leaned into it, hoping that if he screwed his eyes up tight enough the other sensations would stop.
Evidently whoever was shaking him didn’t like that. The hand pulled away from his cheek to slap it lightly.
“No no no, Jim! Come on, I need you awake.”
Bones. Taking care of him. He reluctantly cracked one eye open and then the other, squinting at the light as Bones’ face came into view.
“Lights 30%”, Bones called, taking pity on his discomfort. Jim’s eyes slowly adjusted in the dimmer light, and now he could see Bones was perched on the bed next to him, supporting him with one arm. “Come on, you’re not sleeping until I’m satisfied you’ve warmed up properly.”
Jim let his head loll forwards, until it was resting on Bones’ shoulder. “But B’nes, ’m so tired,” he slurred. Or at least he thought he might be slurring– his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and his ears weren’t quite right. “You’re realllly nice an’ warm, you know that?”
“I know, I know,” Bones murmured, his voice soft in Jim’s ear.
He pulled away slightly, and Jim let out a quiet whine at the loss of the extra body heat until Bones reappeared in his line of vision, one hand on his back and the other thrusting a steaming mug of something sweet-smelling at him. “Here, drink that,” he said gruffly, “It should help warm you up. And the sooner you’re warmed up, the sooner you can go back to sleep.”
Jim supposed that seemed a fair deal, even if he’d prefer to sleep first and worry about other things later. He took the mug from Bones and hesitantly took a sip. It did feel good, he reasoned – the hot sweet tea warming him from the inside, Bones’ firm hand on his back through the comforter, even the low hum of the medical tricorder by his ear as Bones checked him over again and frowned at the readings, the furrow of his brow that always made Jim want to smooth it out with his thumb. If moving didn't feel like such a Herculean effort, he’d reach up and do just that, just to see if Bones would grumble and swat him away, or if the action would coax a rare smile from him.
He felt cared for. Safe. Much better than trudging through the freezing rain earlier that evening, much better than –
The memory of how he’d got himself into this state came flooding back at once. He needed to leave. He sat up with a jolt, pulling away from Bones and doing his best to disentangle himself from the comforter, with still-thawing limbs that wouldn’t cooperate quickly enough.
Bones shot out one arm to grab him, taking the mug off him with the other and placing it on the bedside table. “Whoah woah woah, you’re not going anywhere in this state,” he chided gently, as if Jim were a spooked horse rather than someone trying desperately to leave his best friend in peace.
“Bones, I’m sorry, I should go I–” he tried to explain, “I shouldn’t be here, you– you need to study.”
Jim weakly tried to pull out of Bones’ grip, but found himself bundled back up in the comforter with a whimper, two strong hands holding him firmly but gently.
“Hey, calm down, it’s alright. Come here.” Bones shuffled backwards until his back hit the headboard, a move that should have been harder than it seemed with arms full of struggling, anxious Jim. He manoeuvred the two of them until Jim was settled between his legs, back against Bones’ warm t-shirt clad chest, the comforter now wrapped around both of them. “Breathe for me, darlin’,” he murmured, “Nice and slow, I’ve got ya.”
Jim cautiously relaxed into Bones’ hold, taking shaky breaths in time with the rise and fall of Bones’ chest behind him.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated pathetically.
“You got nothing to be sorry for, Jim,” Bones reassured, passing him the mug of tea again. He paused for a moment, considering. “It’s me who should be apologising, getting so uptight about a damn first year test of all things, and kicking you out without even your jacket.” He sighed. “I’m– I’m sorry for lashing out, kid. And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you’re not welcome here. Of course y’are, whether you’re in trouble or simply being trouble. Now, finish your tea and I’ll be satisfied you’ve warmed up enough to sleep.”
“Can I – is it okay if –”
“Yeah, you’re staying here tonight. I’m not having you go back out there in this weather.” The rain resumed its battering against the windows as if to make a point. “And anyway, I still want to keep an eye on ya.”
–
After being gently manhandled into a sweatshirt and sleep pants from Bones’ closet, Jim found himself tucked up in bed, Bones curled around him like an overly-concerned personal space heater.
Jim didn’t mind it – in fact, it was comforting to be held in his strong arms, to be interlocked like jigsaw pieces with someone he trusted, and know he didn’t have to slip quietly away come morning. Outside, the wind was still blowing up a gale, rain battering against the window panes, but in the dim light of the dorm, the only other sound was Bones’ soft breathing – the slow rhythmic in-out and the rise and fall of his chest against Jim’s back. Lay here in the dark, he felt safe. Cared for. Possibly even loved , for the first time in a long while. Which made it all the more important that he said something.
“Bones?” Jim murmured.
“Yeah?” came the soft reply from behind him.
Jim took a deep breath. In the safety of the dark, unable to see each other, sometimes it felt easier to confess.
“I mean it, I’m sorry for earlier. I was just trying to get you to take a break.”
Bones huffed out a laugh. “Well, you sure did that tonight.”
A pang of guilt shot through Jim, and Bones must have felt him tense up or something, because he continued, “It’s okay, kid. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you, you were only trying to help. And besides, I’ll need those flight qualifications if I’m gonna be your CMO when you’ve got that damn spaceship of yours.”
Jim half twisted around to look up at him hopefully. Bones’ face was gently illuminated in the dim glow of streetlamps outside the window, his expression softer than in the daylight, unguarded. “You really would?”
“Well, it ain’t looking like I’ve got a choice in the matter, does it? Someone’s gotta patch you together every time you do something stupid.” He paused, put a hand over Jim’s. “But yeah, I want to.”
Jim carefully laced his fingers in Bones’ and squeezed. “Yeah, I want you there too.”
Bones squeezed back, the simple action saying more than words possibly could. “Yeah yeah, now go to sleep, you’ve got some studying to help me with in the morning.”
Jim smiled to himself and turned back around, nestling further into Bones’ warm embrace. As he drifted off, he could have sworn he felt lips brush the back of his neck, but maybe that part was just a dream.