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Melt wonders if things could've been different between him and Aqua. If he could rewind time, and undo the future cruelly given to him.
If not that, at the very least — say hello and goodbye, for the last time.
Melt and Aqua weren't close. They met as colleagues on the set of Sweet Today, with a rather rough introduction.
Despite his awful performance, Aqua made him leave with a fired feeling in his chest and a lump in his throat.
He pays no mind to it.
They met again in the theatre production of Tokyo Blade.
Melt isn't the best actor, and he's well aware of that. He feels immense guilt for ruining the first show he's ever acted for — and his guilt only worsens upon being met with Kana Arima’s glares.
Melt feels insufficient. His acting is still amateur — laughable compared to the professionals he's working alongside. He is out of place, only hired to be there to be a handsome and fresh face. No one expects much from him, and neither does he expect anything from himself.
He’s always been like this, and he doesn’t expect it to change.
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He is surprised when Aqua helps him. Aqua mostly chews on him for most of his advice, but he's helpful nonetheless.
A part of Melt is a little ashamed to admit he stared a lot at Aqua’s lips while the blonde talked. How he turned his back now and then, hoping his eyes would meet Aqua's. His attention is always robbed by Aqua’s presence.
Sometimes Kana would notice how hard Melt stared, and she'd laugh at him for it. Then she’d forget.
He wasn't quite sure what caused the fast pump of his chest — if it was Arima’s teasing, or how attractive Aqua looked in his costume, bangs swept back cleanly with long, black, eyeliner. Thin arms, wrapped in fake bandages.
Melt brushes it off. He's better looking anyway, he thinks.
When opening night of Tokyo Blade rolls around — he's shocked at the quality of his own performance. Listening to Aqua and practicing with him helped. He's better this time around, and better acquaintances with Aqua by then. Maybe acting isn't so bad, Melt thinks. It’s actually pretty fun. He feels a sense of accomplishment for the first time in who knows how long. He attributes his improvement to Aqua.
Melt looks backstage to personally thank Aqua, but backs away, seeing him with Arima and Kurokawa. He doesn't want to be a bother.
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When Melt first watches Aqua’s emotional performance, he's filled with concern. Worry.
Aqua's sobs and the way he clutched onto Kurokawa during the performance made him feel that perhaps it wasn't acting at all. His shoulders trembled ever so slightly, and he cried. Aqua cried and desperately held tightly onto Kurokawa as if he were a child clinging to his mother. Begging her to not let go, to not leave him.
Melt wonders if Aqua, like Touki, lost someone important. Right in front of his eyes, utterly helpless. W hen the show ends, Melt hesitates to ask Aqua if he's okay.
Ah— he's there. Aqua is right there by the staircase.
Melt stops. He pauses and thinks on and on if he should chat with Aqua. Would it be too personal, or odd to ask him if his tears were true? Melt decides not to. He walks away — and after the last production of Tokyo Blade, it's around a year or so until he stumbles upon Aqua again.
Despite that, Aqua was still on his mind.
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When Melt hears about Kurokawa and Aqua's breakup, he instantly begins to wonder. Was Aqua okay? Should he… talk to Aqua — not to do anything weird, just, well… talk to him? Catch up with each other's lives? Ask him if he was okay.
Melt stops himself from thinking further. They weren't close enough — nor will they ever be.
Yet as he tries to convince himself the truth, there is a small sting in his chest. He ignores it as he’s gotten used to doing.
But… it wouldn't hurt to hear Aqua's voice again — in real life, rather than hear it through processed audio and in the confinement of a television screen. He wants to see Aqua's small smile gracefully form on his thin lips — the corners of his eyes curving by barely a millimeter.
Melt picks up his phone, and scrolls through the endless contacts he's saved. His fingers slip through several names, anonymous numbers, and unread messages. It lands on a contract, “Aqua Hoshino.”
He opens it and starts slowly typing.
Hey, it's Melt Narushima. It's been a while hasn't it? Let's meet up sometime if you're not busy.|
Hey, it's Melt Narushima. It's been a|
Hey,|
…|
Thanks for your help during Tokyo Blade, I was wondering|
Thanks for your help|
Thanks|
...|
Never mind , Melt decides. He'll think I'm weird. Right after his breakup too?
He throws his phone on his bed and sighs. Clearing his head from any thought of Aqua. A silent part of him is yearning for Aqua's presence.
Melt hopes he can see Aqua soon.
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It's around a year later when Melt is cast for
15-Year Lie.
Though he'll play a minor role, he's excited. It's a controversial, dark movie, and he's all up for it. The manuscript he's been given is made of malice and revenge towards the main antagonist — Hikaru Kamiki.
Melt has never been close to the Hoshino twins, even less with Ruby. Like the rest of the world, he'd been met with shock learning the true parentage of Aqua. Born to a 16-year-old single mother, who worked as an idol in the daylight. Born to a great liar.
A sinking feeling grew in Melt’s lungs. Drops of water, fill up. Melt is stuck wondering.
How much has Aqua suffered? Losing his mother at such a young age, and stepping into showbiz even earlier.
Hearing that, Melt wanted… to protect Aqua. To ease even a bit of that pain.
Melt wanted to protect the child Aqua once was — and still is, with the measly, small, strength he barely had.
If Melt could turn back time, he'd want to run into that small boy’s arms and tell him he'll be alright.
“My mother's gone too.”
Melt would say, in his inexperienced yet well-intentioned reassurance.
Melt’s parents were distant. Always out on business trips — leaving him all alone in an empty house. His parents were like shadows, barely a wisp of presence, barely people.
One day, his mother left. It was through the cruel course of time, and randomly.
Her disappearance first lasted 2 weeks, then it became 2 months, eventually 4, then 6, then December came by,
Until she never came back.
Turns out she ran away with a new family, with another paramour, with a new child she loved. Moved away into the countryside, leaving behind the son she never cared for. Abandoning him like some lost puppy in the rain.
Melt’s father didn’t care. He was the one who signed the divorce after all – without Melt’s knowledge.
Were his parents so cruel that they decided to just split apart, without ever mentioning it to their son? Did he mean so little to them?
His mother just slipped away from his grasp – like a shadow, impossible, unable to reach.
He sometimes wonders if he ever had a mother at all – if that woman could be related to him in any way. Melt doesn’t remember if her brunette hair was natural, or if it was dyed. Her voice eventually passes away in his memory, as does the memory of her face.
In the cold December month when Melt was 14, his father returned home from yet another work trip. Instead of eating dinner, he went straight to his bedroom, confusing Melt.
His father packed his suitcase and luggage, and just as he was about to walk out that apartment door one last time, he turned to Melt – who’d been asking him unanswered questions the whole evening.
“I’m moving back to Nichinan. I’ll send money to you every month for rent and groceries.”
And that was the last time he saw his father. No video calls, no texts, not even letters.
He couldn’t even spare Melt a goodbye.
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The movie’s premiere was a hit, and filming was over.
Melt is now patiently waiting for another project to be cast with Aqua as his co-star once more.
He waits. And waits.
The first winter passes, then the second, then the third.
He doesn’t meet Aqua again – but Melt still thinks of him, in his dreams, and every time he sees Aqua appearing on billboards or television.
Every time Melt is in one of his photoshoots or acting as a supporting actor, he looks around, expecting to see that familiar blonde hair and blue eyes in front of him – ready to draw him back in, as if he’s expecting to be put under a spell. He hoped the stars aligned in his favor, somehow allowing his wish to be granted for the 4th time.
But in Tokyo, the stars never shined.
Though now Melt doesn’t care, as the only star he looked up to – burned away.
“Tonight, we sadly report the passing of actor Aqua Hoshino. The actor passed away at the age of 20. More details to follow as this story develops.”
The reporter says as Melt turns his head – attempting to shake his disbelief.
An image of Aqua is flashed on screen, as well as his name, and other details that begin to go blurry and unnoticed as Melt’s tears block his vision.
The reporter’s voice drowns out, as Melt’s world is trapped in a slow daze.
Aqua Hoshino is dead.
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Even in Aqua’s passing – like a fool, Melt still was yearning to see Aqua again. An idiot hoping to see a dead man appear at his doorstep as if he never died at all.
Today was Aqua's funeral.
Only a handful were allowed to attend his burial, and Melt didn't know what he did to be a part of it. Arima went with him, as they arrived at the procession together with Himekawa following behind their steps. Those two moved ahead of him as they went to pay their respects. Melt saw Kurokawa, Aqua's ex-girlfriend. She held white roses in her arms, clad in a black dress. Her head hung low.
Melt’s gaze passed by Miyako, Aqua’s stepmother. She gave an affirming nod to him, proper as always. Her calm demeanor contrasted the streaks of tears that rolled down her cheeks, leaving trails of dryness on her skin. The head buried into Miyako’s shoulder was Ruby Hoshino, Aqua's twin sister.
Of all the people at the ceremony, it was Ruby’s sobs that resonated the loudest. It was her ugly, almost primal shrieks of anguish that kept reverberating.
Her cries will haunt Melt for a long, long, time.
Eventually, it is time for Melt to approach the closed coffin.
His steps are deliberately slow and hesitant — his own body is reluctant, unwilling to accept Aqua is gone.
Now the distance between him and Aqua isn't so far, as he stands by his casket.
Aqua, who was once radiant and full of life. Once fueled by revenge, and ended by it.
Aqua, who is now in an eternal sleep, is confined to the wooden walls of a casket.
Now at his feet, Melt cannot deny Aqua's departure.
Aqua is dead. He'll never come back,
–And so, Melt mourned.
Small drops of tears shatter into endless burning streams. Melt desperately tried keeping his composure but lost it completely, wracked with sobs he never heard come out of his mouth.
A part of Melt hates Aqua. For dying so young. For being the one who ended his own life. He couldn’t even spare Melt a goodbye. Perhaps it's because Melt never approached Aqua first.
Ah. What a selfish thought.
Thinking of his feelings at another's funeral. Thinking about his shortcomings but not even sparing a thought for the dead’s memory. Melt must be the scum of the earth. Thinking of how he feels, thinking of what he yearns for — even at the corpse of the person he's only known to love.
Love…
Love.
And then realization reveals itself to Melt, mocking him.
Melt begins to sob more. More hot, burning tears, trembling shoulders — all of it wrecks him.
It's only on the day of Aqua’s funeral does Melt realizes,
He loves Aqua.
What a stupid, selfish, notion.
He doesn't love the corpse in the casket, he loves whatever used to be in it.
He loves Aqua.
Or did he love the idea of Aqua he's formed in his head?
He never spent any time getting to know Aqua past the facades and personas he put on. Too scared to even greet Aqua with a simple hello at the shooting of 15-Year Lie. Too foolish to do anything about his feelings before it was too late.
Melt Narushima loves Aquamarine Hoshino.
In the cold December month, Melt Narushima mourned two things;
He mourned Aqua's death.
And he mourned for what future they could've had together. He mourned for Aqua, memories that have been, and memories that could have been.
Aqua couldn't even spare Melt a goodbye.
But neither did Melt ever greet a hello to Aqua.
Within just a few days, the news of Aqua’s death faded away. After the news of the early December’s snowfall paralyzing the transportation network.
His story stopped being brought up.
As if the snow itself covered Aqua's death.