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Hitting sixty-six hours without sleep was a new record Rain had not tried to break.
He couldn’t figure out what the fucking problem was.
Rain was exhausted. Eyes heavy, brain slow. Supplements like melatonin had little effect on ghouls, but he tried it anyway. When that didn’t work, he downed some sleeping pills that only succeeded in making him see shadows that weren’t actually there— effectively scaring him into staying awake even longer.
He’d had bouts of insomnia before. Especially when they were timezone hopping on tour and his internal clock got majorly fucked. Rain would go through the usual channels: turning off any electronics, putting on some white noise, popping a sleeping pill for good measure. Sometimes he’d hit the gym a little harder to tire himself out.
Usually, these things worked.
Ironically, the only time he managed to get anywhere near sleep was in the middle of band practice. They were taking five while Mountain ran back to his room to get extra drumsticks after snapping his last spare. Most of them took that as their cue to grab a snack or go to the bathroom. Rain didn’t have the energy to do anything else but sit right where he was standing. One thing led to another, and suddenly his body was pitching backward.
Rain flailed, his reflexes grossly failing him. Luckily, he was swooped into someone’s arms before smacking his head into Moutain’s kit.
“Rain?” it was Swiss who caught him, pushing him back up to a sitting position before dropping to his knees in front of him, placing a hand on Rain’s shoulder. “You okay?”
Rain was disoriented. Head sleepy, heart beating rapidly as the adrenaline pushed its way through the overwhelming desire to lie down. He shook it off, nodding at Swiss.
“Yeah I… just guess… I.. uh,” the more Rain spoke gibberish, the more worried crossed Swiss’s face. Incoming footsteps and the anxiety of everyone seeing him like this seemed to snap Rain’s brain back into somewhat decent shape, and he managed to speak fluently. “Got a little dizzy, I guess.”
The footsteps turned out to be Dew downing the rest of a soda as he entered. His eyes fell on the two ghouls on the ground and he looked at them curiously.
“Having a picnic, boys?”
Before Rain could say anything, Swiss interjected. “Something’s wrong with Rainy.”
Dammit Swiss.
“What?” Dew’s mood immediately shifted. He hurried over while Swiss felt Rain’s forehead. “Are you sick?”
“No, I just—”
“He was sitting there and randomly went limp.”
“I got a little dizzy,” Rain argued, getting defensive even though he was lying, “I went to lie back and lost my balance.”
“Lost your balance while sitting down, huh?” Dew didn’t seem convinced. He seemed to have a particular talent for reading through his bullshit.
“I guess. Probably just need some water, I’ll be fine.”
Rain could feel Swiss staring at him. He turned to the multi-ghoul, who was intensely looking Rain up and down. “Want to tell us the last time you slept, Rain?”
Perceptive motherfucker. Sometimes he forgot Swiss had some quintessence in him.
“Uhhhh, three…” he messed up the division, counting again on his fingers. “Or four—”
“Fucking hell, Rain,” Dew looked at Swiss and then grabbed Rain’s hand. “You’re going to bed right now.”
“But we’re in the middle of—”
“The only thing we’re in the middle of your nap time. Swiss, take him to his room. I’ll meet you there after I talk to Papa.”
Swiss nodded, grabbing Rain’s forearm and basically pulling him to his feet against his protests. He didn’t have enough energy to fight the multighoul as he was led out of the practice room and toward the sleeping quarters.
However, that didn’t mean Rain wasn’t cognoscent enough to fight him verbally.
“I’m not a child, Swiss, I can go to bed myself,” he twisted out of Swiss’s grip, crossing his arms over his chest. Swiss, uncharacteristically, said nothing in response. “We really didn’t need to stop practice for this!” Silence. “It’s not like I didn’t try to sleep all those nights. I did. I tried everything.” Nothing. They reached Rain’s room and he whirled around at the blank faced ghoul. “Are you going to fucking say anything?”
Swiss looked at him, sighing.
“You get pissy when you’re sleep-deprived.”
“Fuck you.”
“Maybe after you have a nap, Sleeping Beauty,” he said with a wink that was at least more in-character. Swiss reached around him, opening the door. “After you.”
Rain switched into a lightweight pair of pajama pants and an undershirt and laid down on his bed. Despite being tired enough to fall asleep sitting up in the practice room, here he felt wide awake again. It frustrated him enough that tears started to well up in his eyes, which was quickly noticed by Swiss.
“Rainy, what is it?” his voice was soft. Not mocking. Swiss reached out for him, and Rain decided he wanted the comfort. He grabbed Swiss’s hand and tugged weakly. The multi-ghoul laid down beside him and Rain immediately curled into him.
“I’m so tired,” he cried into his chest. The agony of being awake for so long was finally coming to a head. Swiss just rubbed his back in soothing circles as sobs racked his body. Rain was so out of sorts, he hardly noticed when the bed dipped under Dew’s weight. He took his place on Rain’s other side, entrapping him between Swiss’s tight embrace and the natural warmth of a fire ghoul.
“What do you think is keeping you up?” Dew asked gently once Rain’s sobs subsided into a dull numbness.
“I don’t know,” he shook his head, nuzzling into Swiss’s shoulder. “It’s like my mind won’t stop long enough.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing! Stupid shit. How much it sucks to not be sleeping, usually. Deciding who would be willing to punch me in the head just to knock me out for a little while.”
“Cirrus, probably,” Swiss muttered. Rain could feel Dew shift, probably to deliver a dirty look. “Trust me, she pents that shit—”
“You’re in a cycle, Rain,” Dew interrupted. “Not sleeping, getting anxious about not sleeping, not sleeping because you’re anxious about not sleeping— we gotta break the cycle somehow.”
“You know when my mind is usually the blankest?” Swiss said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. “After I—”
“That is a last resort,” Dew swatted at him.
“It could work, though,” Swiss argued. Rain hated to agree with Swiss being a horny bastard, but it wasn’t the worst idea.
“It could also rile him up!” Dew also made a fair point.
“Only if you can’t get him there.”
“I fucking swear Swiss. Your name is carved into my last fucking nerve.”
“Does the carving say ‘Swiss + Dew forever’ in a cute little heart?”
“Only in your dreams.”
They continued to argue. Rain had a feeling it wasn’t ending anytime soon. He settled into the crook of Swiss’s shoulder, listening to the steady beat of his heart. With Dew’s warmth and the pressure of his limbs on Rain, he started to feel heavy. Swiss and Dew’s voices grew distant. It wasn’t long before he had a moment of awareness that he was finally slipping into sleep.
And he let go.