Chapter Text
"Beep, beep, beeeeep..." Device beeping. Along with the complaints of everyone around and the loud pulsating in my head, those are my last memories. Nothing beyond that. I don't know what happened, or what didn't happen after that. I woke up only here. I glanced into the twilight that surrounded me. I was told that I died. At first, I refused to believe it. I couldn't...I couldn't leave everything there...not now...just not now...there were...so many unfinished things and unused opportunities...
Over time, I started piecing fragments together and concluded that they were right. I did die that fateful day. I don't remember how. They mentioned something about a car accident, or something like that.
I feel strange. So...light and as if I'm missing something. Something important...something without which I can't function fully...a body. I missed my body. Until then, I had never lived without a body...It's weird. When I asked them who I am, they said a spirit. Funny. Even in life, I was a realist and didn't believe in such nonsense. And now, I don't know what to believe. I don't really know where exactly I am. None of us really know...some say above the sky, others in the depths of hell...I don't know what to believe anymore...I call it the Gray. It has no deeper meaning. I just call things by their true names. That's how I am...or was? Do I exist? Or just a part of me? And if only a part exists, is it enough for me to exist? So many questions, but no one to answer them.
I was alone with myself for several days. In absolute silence. I couldn't even hear my own breath or the beat of my own heart...because it no longer beat.