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It just took me a while till I knew

Summary:

Growing up in Alberta, Raj was always taught that being gay was something to look down upon, until he met a special someone.

Notes:

i'm new to writing, so super short fic heh any criticism would be appreciated <3 hoping to get better at writing ^_^

Work Text:

Raj never expected to find love when him and Wayne signed up for total drama. He also didn't expect him finally accepting his sexuality to happen on national television, but things always happen for a reason.

Meeting Bowie was truly a blessing. Where he grew up, being gay was something that was looked down upon. Raj always knew deep down he never liked girls the way his hockey friends did, but he couldn't ever tell anyone, not even his best friend Wayne.

What could possibly happen if he told people he was attracted to guys? Would everyone look at him in disgust? Would he be frowned upon? Would he be seen as some sort of joke?

That's why he had to repent it. Take this feeling, put a lock on it, and throw away the key. He needed to teach himself to not feel this way. He would let other people's opinions get to his head. Raj didn't want to feel this, he didn't want other people to feel disgusted around him.

That was until he met Bowie.

Bowie is so confident in himself and his identity. This confidence left an effect Raj. As he started talking to Bowie more, from accidently flinging whatever goop chef made for breakfast onto Bowie's shirt, to Bowie saving Raj from getting crushed, Raj started feeling more comfortable with himself. He knew that he liked Bowie.

But what about all those years he spent teaching himself to push these feelings away? Raj didn't care anymore. Liking Bowie felt right. He didn't care anymore what other people thought.

Kissing Bowie for the first time in the Tapioca pit felt right.

The feeling that lingers on his hand after Bowie's hand leaves his felt right.

The burning feeling on his cheeks thinking about Bowie's smile, his hair, his eyes, his laugh... everything about Bowie. It felt right.

Loving Bowie just feels right.

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Sitting in Bowie's bed after a long day of hanging out with each other. Raj ponders on something. He thinks about what would've happened if he'd never signed up for total drama.

Would he feel comfortable in his own skin? Would he have stopped repenting the feeling? Would he have learned to be confident in his own skin?

Would he have ever met Bowie?

As he turns to his side, he sees Bowie casually scrolling on his phone. Raj just smiles, lovingly watching him.

He pushed that scary thought away. Thinking about a world where he had never met Bowie? Raj didn't want to contemplate on that. Instead, he just wanted to lay down and look at whatever's on Bowie's phone.

It felt so right.