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I Don't Want To Love You

Summary:

In a world where they got home, Kathryn has a hard time adjusting to life back on Earth. Until one day she disappears and the crew have to go find her. Chakotay leading the way. When they get home, one thing leads to the other and, well some dreams come true after all.

Notes:

This is a gift for Torri012 for a holiday exchange held by Bizarra on Facebook. Hope you enjoy it, and I’m sorry if this is shit, I promise I did try! Manip by Gilly H and is attached. Honestly I'm not even sure if the picture relates to the story at all. 🙁 If you can see it great! Because I cannot! Hahaha. Photo will be posted later when I can figure it out! Hahahaha
Thanks for the beta, LadyKathrynElizabeth and MagdaleneJaneway.

Chapter 1: Coming Home is Bittersweet

Chapter Text

They had burst through the Borg sphere. Kathryn couldn’t believe it, they had made it. She turned to look at his seat. He wasn’t there. She turned to look back at Seven’s station, and he was there with her. Her heart clenched—he was meant to be beside her. But instead she was watching him with her. The Doctor interrupted with a crying baby.

 

“Mr. Paris, someone would like to say hello.”

 

Tom looked back at Kathryn. She closed her eyes and said, “Go.” He jumped up out of his seat as fast as possible, flying to the turbolift, “Yes Ma’am,” was heard as he entered the turbolift and the doors closed behind him. She looked back at him, standing next to her.

 

“Commander? The helm is yours.”

 

A small smile escaped his lips. 

 

They weren’t really talking. She was surprised how they managed to keep command of the ship together during these past couple of weeks. 

 

He made his way down to the helm and sat in Tom’s chair. He looked back waiting for her command.

 

“Set a course… for home.”

 

Earth finally in their view screen she decided to make her way around the ship. But the first stop was definitely Sick Bay. As she was on deck 5, she made her way through the doors. A happy family was on the biobed furthest from the door. She quickly stopped by the Doctor to check in. 

 

“How are they?”

 

“Mother and baby are both well, and need some well deserved rest. However, they may receive their Captain as their first visitor, of course.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor.”

 

She made her way into the main part of sick bay. Both Tom and B’Elanna smiled at her.

 

Tom was so happy and asked, “Captain. Would you like to meet her?”

 

Kathryn smiled a real smile for the first time in a while. “May I hold her?”

 

B’Elanna’s smile was weak and said, “Of course, she would love to meet her aunt”.

 

“Aunt?!”

 

They both smiled at her and laughed, “Yes, aunt.” As Tom transferred the precious little girl into her arms.

 

“What’s her name? I have a blanket for her, now I just need a name to finish it off.”

 

The couple looked at each other before looking back at their Captain, the person who they have come to consider their family over the past 7 years.

 

Tom came over to the little girl's head and was rubbing her ridges while saying, “Miral Kathryn Paris-Torres.”

 

Kathryn looked up when Tom said Kathryn. “Kathryn?”

 

The young chief engineer looked at her Captain, “You have been a massive part of our lives, if it weren’t for you, Tom and I wouldn’t be here. We definitely wouldn’t be having Miral. We wanted to honour you for bringing us together to have a daughter of which we could name after both my mother and you. But only if you are ok with it?”

 

Tears were pooling at the edge of Kathryn’s eyes, overjoyed looking  at the little girl she was holding. How far these two young individuals in front of her had come, and now that they were home, years of emotions all pooled in a mess. The tears started to fall more quickly. In a weak voice, “I’m so honoured. I’m so glad that I have been a part of your lives and I’m so proud to see how far you have come. Congratulations on your little girl and I am honoured that you named her after me. Thank you, for everything. Both of you.”

 

Both Tom and B’Elanna had tears coming from them too! Kathryn handed the little girl back to her mother and said, “Oh my stop it—you are making me cry harder!”

 

All of them were laughing and crying, so glad to finally be where they were and that after everything that they were back home near Earth. Kathryn pawed at the tears in her eyes and bid farewell to them to get their well-deserved rest as she made her final journey and walk-through Voyager .

 

Wandering through the halls was bittersweet. She should be doing this with her First Officer. It dawned on her that this will be the last walkthrough that she will do as Voyager’s Captain. It’s nothing like she imagined—almost felt like it was another day. Maybe once the shock wore off it would feel better. As she passed members of her crew they all smiled at her, they were all glad to be back. They are happy and so should she be. But she can’t muster the emotion. As she made her way back to the bridge the doors opened, the boatswain whistle acknowledged her arrival, the first time she had heard it in a long time.

 

They are all at attention, and Harry stated, “Captain on the Bridge.”

 

Kathryn put her hand up and said, “At ease,” and everyone moved to parade rest. She wasn’t one for big displays of her captaincy, it would’ve made it weird especially being in the Delta Quadrant, and being the only ship out there, it wasn’t necessary to keep these stupid rituals.

 

She toured around the bridge, patting Tuvok on the shoulder. So glad to have had him by her side for all of these years. Touched Seven on the arm, so glad to see her come so far in her humanity. Still has further to go, but she has definitely changed from the rigid Borg drone. Tapped Harry’s console, proud of the man he has become, from a green ensign, fresh out of the academy to the good man he is today. She’d robbed him of so much but gave him the experiences of a lifetime. She wished she would have promoted him to Lieutenant years ago. He deserves it after all these years. Eventually she made it to the helm where Chakotay was standing. She extended her hand out for a handshake and he took it, a couple of shakes later and they were separated. Something about it felt final. She made her way to her seat in the middle of the bridge and took her seat. After that everyone returned to work. Ensign Baytart took over at the helm and Chakotay made his way to his command seat. 

 

In a whisper Kathryn said, “Well, we are home.”

 

He whispered back, “We made it.” Kathryn knew that he didn’t mean ‘we’ as in them, the Command Team. He meant ‘we’ as the crew. It hurt her to know that.

 

“What are we to do now? They never told us what would happen to the ex-Maquis.”

 

“I’m not sure. But I know that none of us, including you, are going to jail. I won’t let it happen to you, B’Elanna, Tom or Mike. I will not let it happen at all.”

 

A small crooked smile came out from him. “Thank you,” he said with a sigh of relief.