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It had to be today. No more hiding, no more hesitating. No more backing down. If she didn't muster up courage now, she never would.
I can do this. I've got everything I need to do this. I can do this. I have everything I-
"Let's do this, Athena!" Widget chirped from his spot on her neck. Athena jumped.
I can do this. I have everything I need to do this.
She kept repeating the same thoughts in her mind. If she kept those messages on a constant loop, no other thoughts could get in. Focusing on the positive diminished the negative.
Basic psychology. East to remember for a test, hard to use in real life. But I'll find a way. Because i can do this!
Athena stared at the airport entrance, eyes narrowed. Without another thought, she entered the building. The pre-flying process was a blur of boredom and anxiety. All she would remember of it was scaring the security personnel when Widget protested his security scan... After she thught she'd turned it off. Luckily, the incident resulted in nothing more than a few gasps and raised eyebrows. She and her partner were on the plane before either of them knew it.
"Warning: we are about to begin takeoff. May all passengers please fasten their seatbelts."
Athena complied with the instruction, reaching down to attach the iFly bear buckle to his "hat" in a decorated seatbelt. It was the nicest thing economy class offered.
She felt a small lurch, listening as over a hundred voices went silent.
"The plane is now in motion. Your destination: Los Angeles, California. Thank you for your cooperation and for choosing iFly airlines. Have a nice flight!"
And with that, the screen turned off, removing the smiling flight attendant from sight. The redhead leaned back, focused on the plane's movement.
It was hard, at first. There were no bumps in the road, like a car would have. It wasn't until they actually took off Athena got the feeling of movement. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
She winced, ears aching from the change in pressure. It had been so much worse when she was eleven. So much so she nearly swore to never fly again.
But she never did. She knew she'd have to fly again, someday.
She had to return home.
What had changed, since she last lived there? Was the Space Center doing well, after the disastrous HAT-1 mission? She'd seen the movie when it came out, trying to think if she'd ever ran into the astronaut it featured. After weeks of intense therapy her uncle reluctantly agreed to, it clicked.
Athena remembered Solomon Starbuck, the astronaut she'd frozen at the sight of. She remembered his hair, pointing it out to Mom on his first day of work.
Thanks to the movie, what she'd once known as blurry faces and whispered names became people with hopes and hearts and a voice. Their work had been real, had been successful despite so many challenges. Despite a shocking incident the legal world still reeled from to this day. Or so she'd been told.
All that time, Athena had convinced herself that none of it was real. That her life before Europe was a hazy dreamland. Her mother, Miss Aura, Director Cosmos... A few months after the incident was all it took to turn people into characters. Reality into a story. A story she could close the book on and ignore when she needed to. Whenever it got too much to bear.
Counselors said it was normal. She was disassociating, shielding herself from pain. They thought there was no harm in it. She was an ocean away from it all, with a new, kinder family. How could it possibly hurt her, they reasoned. Eventually, her relatives had agreed. Athena never did.
They'd been wrong. It hurt her every single day, when she shied away from confrontation and was too afraid to speak. When bullies called her out and told her lies, and she felt powerless to find the truth. When she felt powerless to find anything good inside herself.
All because of one day. One day, when she spoke up for a friend who lied. She's spoken for the truth, and all anyone wanted was to silence it forever. Even if it meant death.
When she was thirteen and saw the movie, her life changed. The fog surrounding her past lifted, if only a tiny bit. The characters of her story lived and breathed, had hearts and minds and emotions again. The project her mother had slaved away at, that she and Miss Aura had spent years talking about had actually been completed. The man who'd been silenced in space had returned home to speak of his adventures. The man everyone left for dead had lived.
And now, it was her turn. To do the same.
Solomon Starbuck had been a hero. Not only did he save his own life, he saved GYAXA. If he hadn't returned, the government would have dismissed space exploration altogether.
Not only did Athena have to fight her own self, but she had to save someone's life. If she didn't return in time, an innocent man would be lost forever. To an eternity of unbreakable silence.
It wasn't enough to overcome her demons. She had to overcome years of lost time, of contaminated crime scenes and lost evidence and squandered opportunity. The longer since the conviction, the less chance of appeal. For all she knew, she was too late.
"You're running a fool's errand. The law's too broken to fix anyone's life." If a law professor could become that cynical, what hope did the public have?
"Invent hope where none is found. Reach into a person's darkness and pull out the light of truth."
Subconsciously, Athena reached for her attorney's badge, pinned securely to her suit jacket. It was an odd look, to be sure. A strange medley of professional and fun, of girl and woman. She wanted to look that way.
Athena hadn't worn a side pony in years. The shifted weight alone brought back memories, twisted things torn out a dusty storybook. The ink was so faded, she had to invent half the words.
Over the years, Athena had done everything she could to regain her memories. She wanted them all back.
She wanted to remember how it felt to be on the stand, alone and unheard. She wanted to know the feeling well, so she could fight with all her might to keep any client from feeling the same.
She wanted to remember how it felt to be talked over, to be disregarded as an impossible case. She wanted intimate familiarity, so she's never take that attitude with anyone.
She wanted to remember the utter conviction that pulsed through him, that dreadful day. The way his heart had shattered, but his mind and will stood firm. She wanted to hear the sound of his heart every time she lost hope so she could have the motivation to keep pressing on. No matter how painful.
But she'd have to do the opposite of him. Her mind couldn't be trusted. All Athena could trust in her life was the sound of a beating heart.
The sound of a heart that shouldn't stop beating any time soon.
She had to return home. She had to become a hero.
She could do it. Long as she kept a light heart and a clear mind, she could find the truth of everyone's past.
Anyone's... Past...
"We have now reached: Los Angeles, California. Please wait for the seat-belt light to come off before unboarding. Do not forget any carry-ons or luggage, which can be found in Baggage Claim C. We hope you enjoyed your flight, don't forget to stop by the in-flight shop on the way out, and thank you for flying iFly."
Athena started. She must have fallen asleep. The sole perk to a 7am flight was the ability to sleep it through. It wouldn't have worked if she hasn't stayed up the whole night before.
The young lawyer was the last to step off the plane. An hour later, a not-quite-stranger in a blue suit showed up, smiling in an almost fatherly way.
"Welcome to California, Athena. Ready to start work?"
California. The state of gold and distorted truth.
But it was never the truth's fault, unlike Athena once believed. The truth could do great things, when one saw the whole picture. It could never accomplish its mission in darkness.
Athena was done with darkness. It was time to shine a light.